Posted by Noa on November 11, 1999, at 13:02:37
In reply to Re:"Coming out"--Moving in, posted by NHGrandma on November 11, 1999, at 8:10:28
Racer, I know people who have been able to reveal their struggles with mental disorders successsflly to romantic partners. Good luck.
As for the post from grandma, wow. I am intrigued to learn about someone who has been with us so consistently but reticent. You really pushed a button, for her to speak up.
Grandma, I think it is important for anyone to be very sure they are making decisions in their own best interest (run scenarios of different outcomes through your mind and try to sense how they might feel to you, affect you, etc. given your own vulnerabilities). But it is a huge leap, may I say with respect (tone is hard to convey in writing), to assume that moving in together is not right for Racer, or to imply that she is acceding to her boyfriend's request rather than it being a joint decision to consider this as their relationship progresses. I respect your traditional values, and you would use your values to make the decisions that would be right for you. But you don't know Racer and really don't have the ability to know what decisions are right for her.
As for Dr. Laura, I do not want to start a flame fest here, but I believe you might have kindled the first spark, Grandma. Trying to keep this civil, let me just register my opinion that I do not find Dr. Laura to be helpful to everyone. Sometimes she gives good advice. The problem is that she is a moralist and not a good listener. So many times, she is using people's vulnerabilities to spread her own views on morality. And she is, in my opinion, unethical for calling herself "DR" Laura, because her doctorate is in physiology not in any mental health field. I know she has some marital and family therapy training, but that does not give her a right to, in fact it should ethically preclude her from, using the title DR when she is not a DR of mental health.
Enough soapbox. You said you shared your opinion out of caring.
poster:Noa
thread:14978
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19991108/msgs/15011.html