Posted by janey girl on October 10, 1999, at 17:54:57
In reply to Re: NOT SO STRANGE QUESTION , posted by LC on October 6, 1999, at 11:35:27
LC,
My heart goes out to you right now regarding your
father's terminal illness. I lost my mother four
years ago at a young age (55) to colon cancer,
and she was the parent to whom I "Belonged." Yes,
she drove me nuts a good deal of the time, but I
knew her love for me was great and everlasting.When I lost her, I felt (and still do) that I didn't
belong to anyone anymore. Not my father, or my
siblings.Right now, just love him and ask the questions you've
always wondered about. Ask him to tell you stories
about when you were a baby, a child -- his proudest
moments. Visit those memories with him. If you
have any questions or "issues," clear those up with
him.Ask him about his memories of his childhood. Laugh
with him. If he calls you and ends up talking to
your answering machine, save those tapes. My mother
called and sang Happy Birthday to my machine. I
knew at the time how close her time was, and I
saved that tape; I lost her 5 weeks later. I
treasure that tape now.If you need to cry, just cry and cry and cry.
Embrace your friends and let them take you out and
try to get your mind off of things. Hold them
close and talk it out with them. They may not
fully understand what you're going through, but
they know how much pain you're in. Let them be
there for you.And don't forget about us here on the board. If
you need to talk and no one is around or seems to
understand, e-mail me offline and I'll share my
telephone number with you.Be kind to yourself, and know that your father will
always be with you. You and he are in my prayers.Much love,
janey girl
poster:janey girl
thread:12640
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19991016/msgs/12972.html