Posted by Dee on September 30, 1999, at 11:22:08
In reply to Re: jumping with Dee, posted by dj on September 30, 1999, at 0:52:10
Tough one, huh...
The premise in the book is that *everybody* hosts a child inside. That child has experienced an ultimate rejection as in the womb and very early childhood it learned to expect that all its needs will be fulfilled without doubt, and growing up learned that this is not true.
So, in a way we are all split to a child and an adult. The adult is rational, reasonable, has mature ways to solve conflicts. But when there is a sign we interpret as a rejection, then the adult is pushed aside, and the child takes over, expressing the resentments of the original rejection and trying by any means prevent that rejection from taking place.
The adult that has no power in this situation is almost dissociably (is that a word?) watching the child act destructively, knowing that this is only making things worse, and eventually leading to the feared rejection even if in reality there was no such threat.
Well, something along these lines. What it really explained to me is something that really bothered me: if we both love each other, how come we do and say these things to one another, and kill a relationship we both wanted. Makes me ask if I could have saved something in the past if I had learned about this all before.
Dee
poster:Dee
thread:11754
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19991001/msgs/12319.html