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janey girl and Ania, I can't believe you two.

Posted by cynthia on August 13, 1999, at 23:56:28

In reply to Racer, that's how I see it., posted by janey girl on August 13, 1999, at 16:06:50

> Racer,
> I'm fat, and that's how I associate success and
> self-worth... only if I'm thin will I be either of
> those (successful or deserving). So, therefore,
> I'm nothing because I'm fat.
> I get it allright. I'd rather be too thin, and
> anorexic.

Janey girl,
The catch 22 of anorexia is that your life is on hold until you are thin enough and you are never thin enough. At about 100 lbs and 5'6", I had about 2 not-fat days a year. There is no such thing as a successful anorexic, it's all about Failure at trying to achieve perfection. Over and over and over again, failure at perfection.

I hate this disorder. I don't mind any of my other ones, but this one fills me with shame and binging fills me with self-discust - I'm not even sure why yet. I'm about 3/4's anorexic and 1/4 binge eater. I've never eaten normally in my life. Because I'm doing so well with my other disorders, I've recently started working on this one. I'm seeing a psychologist and nutritionalist (who just told that I am still restricting although I think I am eating alot). I'm planning on starting mechanical eating to get my appetite up and get my metabolism going.

People with eating disorders very commonly switch back and forth between anorexia (starving emotions off) and binge eating (I'm not sure - stuffing them down). This could be why Ania your doctor won't give you Wellburtin or Dexedrine. They could very well encourage your eating disorder.

Racer, the nutritionalist i saw is doing research right now on abusing laxatives and becoming diabetic.

Don't diet it doesn't work,
Someone should write a book about this.
Part of my eating disorder is picking up on any whacked out food study or crazy diet and wanting to try them.





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