Posted by Janice on January 15, 1999, at 6:17:47
In reply to Re: Topless to the dumpster!! And other thoughts. Vent, posted by LT on January 14, 1999, at 22:05:50
Hi LT:
I think the reason I went topless to the dumpster
was because I couldn't decide which top to wear,
solved the problem by just wearing nothing. In
the past, I probably would have let that minor
decision prevent me from taking out the garbage.And speaking of garbage, when I was in a 'deep
funk' a couple of years ago I had the overwhelming
desire, among other things which I won't mention,
to dump a couple bags of garbage in the living
room floor and to lay down in the middle of it.
Thankfully, I feel better today, and, thankfully,
I'm glad I didn't act upon the urge.Sometimes, I think about dying. I think about how
easy it would be to slip away, that noone would
notice 'cause I don't have that much to lose...
life on the edge.
> I have no brain either, I feel the same about
happy events as I do about sad events, just a
dry face at least. I'm currently taking Celexa
and Buspar, not working, I think the addition
of Buspar just makes me feel bitchy. Bitchy
and depressed, grrr.A wonderful combination, eh? It's easier for a
man to be depressed? Woman are expected to be
smiley, talkative, congenial, and if we're not,
we're judged for it. Men can be stoic and that's
ok.>I'm going to take the suggestion of my
psychiatrist about ECT, after I fugure out how
to pay for the balance after insurance pays!Maybe you can pay off the balance a little at a
time, arrange a payment plan?>Why don't you consider it also, what have we got
to loose??? Memory? Can't loose what isn't
there, right?RIGHT!!!
ECT may be the answer. When I see my pdoc on the
26th, I'll ask him what he thinks about it. GULP!
On the 5th, I asked him about an MAO inhibitor, he
didn't say no, but suggested I try Celexa. So, I
guess, that's where I'm headed, unless he and I
decide differently.ECT, to me, seems like the ultimate 'final
solution'. But, I guess, I have a lot of the old
preconceived notions of what it is. To tell you
the truth, the thought of it scares me. I am
going to try some nonmedicinal interventions this
year :
my CPAP machine :)
exercise
sleep hygiene
sunlight
diet
cognitive therapy
daily routines
and on and onMaybe, I've been expecting too much from the
pills. I plan to pull out all the stops this
year. Can't make all of these changes at once,
so it will take time, but, at least I'm headed
somewhere, right? I guess I need to experiment to
see what helps and what doesn't. At this point,
I'm not totally hopeless; I've felt alot worse. I
just hope I can get this all going and keep it
going for awhile. Mind over matter? The depression
is an illusion? They say if you wait until you
'feel like it', you may never do it. Damn them.If you decide upon the ECT, let us know how it
works out for you, ok? Best of luck.
poster:Janice
thread:2365
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990101/msgs/2417.html