Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
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Response to Toby

Posted by DL on January 11, 1999, at 21:06:30

In reply to Re: Other options, posted by Toby on January 11, 1999, at 10:22:35

> Is the doc that you see in private practice or at a mental health center?

The only place I have been over my stormy last few years is a local mental health center that services seacoast NH. When I was falling apart rapidly a few years ago I called other places and they would not see me for many weeks...only the health center would see me on an emergency basis. I have never been anywhere else. This doc rushes from pt to pt. At my last visit he was rushing in from intensive care. I'm sure my unhuman ability to hang on and look OK on the outside works against me sometimes.

> maybe you could talk to your doc about getting a month's supply of samples every other month or something so that your $25 copay would stretch a little farther.

I can try....he's never available by phone--no matter how many times he tells me to "call if you need anything". I could write a letter or leave a message with the secretary.

I called the ins co as the doc suggested to get a name for him to call. I was told that there is no one for the doc to call. They refused to give me a name. I was told I could write an appeal letter myself but that the rep I talked to had worked there 7 years and had never seen one do any good. She said the preferred and non-preferred drug lists are only updated when new info comes out from the FDA about drugs. At this point I am so tired and depressed with all the things moving in on me I don't think I will even try.

> Regarding the EMDR therapists, do talk with them on the phone and then just pick one you feel reasonably comfortable talking to.

I can't even do that until I have a card or # in the ins co system. Then they will give me an authorization for some visits....

If I hear this week, I will call to talk to the 2 EMDR/cog beh people. Perhaps I can talk on the phone without being charged --to get a feel for if I would feel safe with them. Sounds stupid, but I want to try this out at the same time I am terrified to do so. Sound stupid?

I just don't understand why the wall just tumble in on me sometimes?? Sometimes I am struck almost immobile in some normal daily situation. I watched a Disney movie the other night with a family marooned on an island. I knew the "pirates' were just actors, but when the yelling and guns started I had my hands over my ears and head in my lap and my heart was racing and my body was wired. HOW STUPID! But it just overcomes me..

I rarely see movies since the same thing frequently happens there. Sometimes I jump literally out of my seat. I did just see Patch Adams. I actually laughed a few times. I was so impressed with the real doc and his mission I found the web site on the internet and asked for more info. You, Toby have somethings in common with Patch--sense of humor, respect for people, and a willingness to see other perspectives. you should watch it if you haven't. I wish I were daring enough to follow a star like he did....

I wish someone would tell me why I am in the clutches of a monster sometimes with no warning. I feel terrified and want to hide--sometimes in the middle of a conversation--sometimes while watching TV etc. Why Why Why???? The energy to cope with life is emence sometimes.

Boy am I in a turmoil now. I want to cry , yell, run, hide all at the same time.
Thanks for letting me spout.




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