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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by just so sad on February 17, 2005, at 16:33:33
In reply to who wants to quit with me?, posted by crushedout on February 17, 2005, at 15:37:35
I would love to, but I don't think I'm capable yet...I need to get out of this depression, even though logically I know alcohol makes this worse...one day, when I'm brave enough, I will try - but the thought of never drinking again (even today!) terrifies me...it's all I have right now that makes me feel better. Sorry - downer message! Good luck to you.
Sad
Posted by AuntieMel on February 17, 2005, at 16:33:34
In reply to who wants to quit with me?, posted by crushedout on February 17, 2005, at 15:37:35
I quit almost two years ago, so I can't do that. But I'll be here to answer questions and lend support.
Good luck. It's not easy, but it can be done.
Posted by crushedout on February 17, 2005, at 18:55:36
In reply to Re: who wants to quit with me?, posted by just so sad on February 17, 2005, at 16:33:33
Sad,It's not a downer. I think I know how you feel. I was just telling my therapist today that I'm depressed because I drink. And she asked me why I drink and I said because I'm depressed. It's a vicious circle -- that's easy to recognize, but that doesn't make it easy to stop it.
We're here when you're ready.
crushedout
Posted by sjb on February 18, 2005, at 10:09:19
In reply to who wants to quit with me?, posted by crushedout on February 17, 2005, at 15:37:35
I'm in. I FINALLY realized a couple of weeks ago that I was out of excuses, rationales, '"I" don't have a problem" thinking, etc, and after a big-time wake up call on SuperBowl Sunday, I got REALLY scared and realized what a slippery slope I was on.
I haven't been to AA yet, but this board has been a big help so far. I've been sober since Feb 7th (cutting down, I've finally admitted, is NOT an option for me - it INVARIABLY leads to more and more).
I had the most active, energetic day yesterday that I hadn't had in a long time. I made myself think about that this morning when my "old brain" starting looking forward to the weekend with a TGIF happy hour, "just to unwind, mind you". Yeah, right. Nope. Not happenin'.
I've printed out a one sheet page of some the many evils of booze that best applied to my life and goals, taped the cap of my last bottle of tequila on the top and am checking off every day sober with a mark. Hey, it might not all I need to do, but it's helped so far. I have this dream of filling up the paper with a ton of marks - sounds silly but so far, it's helping.
Good luck. Thanks for posting.
Posted by crushedout on February 18, 2005, at 10:16:51
In reply to Re: who wants to quit with me?, posted by sjb on February 18, 2005, at 10:09:19
That doesn't sound silly. That sounds effective. I used to go to AA (a looong time ago), but now I don't think I could bear it. I think it's good for people who truly have no other choice (I believe it's saved many a life) but it's hard for me to stomach the doctrine and rigidity of the thinking.But maybe that's just me.
If you're a mess, you need rigidity, I think.
Posted by crushedout on February 18, 2005, at 10:19:53
In reply to Re: who wants to quit with me? » sjb, posted by crushedout on February 18, 2005, at 10:16:51
I feel like utter sh*t this morning, as if I partied all night, when in fact I didn't drink at all.The past week or so I've been having about one drink a night, occasionally two. So as you can see, it's not like I've been drinking myself into a stupor or anything.
I don't understand why I feel so crappy.
Posted by partlycloudy on February 18, 2005, at 12:40:34
In reply to Hungover but didn't drink -- what's up with that?, posted by crushedout on February 18, 2005, at 10:19:53
Are you taking any different meds than you were?
I feel poopy too, but I was hoping it was the aftermath of my week's hiatus from Cymbalta. That sure did mess me up big time. I feel like I've had a hangover for over a week now.
pc
Posted by crushedout on February 18, 2005, at 12:46:13
In reply to Re: Hungover but didn't drink -- what's up with that? » crushedout, posted by partlycloudy on February 18, 2005, at 12:40:34
Yeah, I switched meds. Went on Lamictal in addition to Wellbutrin. Could that be it? Plus, a little alcohol withdrawal, sleep deprivation, and PMS?
Posted by just so sad on February 18, 2005, at 14:12:24
In reply to Re: who wants to quit with me? » just so sad, posted by crushedout on February 17, 2005, at 18:55:36
Wow - you made me feel so welcome - complete strangers yet such comfort to offer - good luck to you, and maybe I'll join you all sooner rather than later, huh?
Sad
Posted by partlycloudy on February 20, 2005, at 7:55:32
In reply to Re: Hungover but didn't drink -- what's up with th » partlycloudy, posted by crushedout on February 18, 2005, at 12:46:13
that is probably it. I explained to my husband that i felt like I had a hangover without the benefit (??bad word choice there) of having had a drink. he then had a glimmer of understanding of how it felt.
i'm better today - how are you doing? and if you want a buddy-in-sobriety, here I is. you really want to set a date for finishing?
pc
Posted by crushedout on February 20, 2005, at 10:15:39
In reply to Re: Hungover but didn't drink -- what's up with th » crushedout, posted by partlycloudy on February 20, 2005, at 7:55:32
Hey PC,I'm glad you're feeling better. I am, too.
I would love to have you as my quitting buddy, PC. Yay!!!
Yeah, we could set a date -- does that make sense to you? I think it should be at least a week out but maybe two or three -- what do you think? That just gives us time to get used to the idea and become firmly committed.
I've cut back a lot recently (by recently, I think I mean since Wednesday!) but I did have about 2/3 of a drink yesterday when I really shouldn't have.
crushed
Posted by partlycloudy on February 20, 2005, at 17:51:28
In reply to Re: Hungover but didn't drink -- what's up with th » partlycloudy, posted by crushedout on February 20, 2005, at 10:15:39
March 1st? Not on a weekend, and it's a date in the near future?
Posted by crushedout on February 21, 2005, at 13:03:18
In reply to Let's go for it. » crushedout, posted by partlycloudy on February 20, 2005, at 17:51:28
Sounds perfect. So let's make Feb. 28th the last day we can drink (if we want to -- we don't have to)?Anyone else in?
Posted by crushedout on February 24, 2005, at 7:40:27
In reply to Re: Let's go for it. » partlycloudy, posted by crushedout on February 21, 2005, at 13:03:18
first, do you feel ready?
i think i really do. i mean, i like drinking (sort of) but i'm sick of what it does to me, especially the next day, and it's nowhere near worth it.
and i think once i get used to not doing it, i won't miss it very much.
one important thing: we need to figure out what our substitute is going to be. you know, you need something to reach for, something to satisfy the oral fixation, when you would normally have a drink. i think it makes sense for it to be a beverage (even water may work) but it can be anything that is either good for you or harmless. last time i quit it was martinelli's sparkling cider. i drank almost a whole bottle a day.
i may do that again. or maybe water. other ideas? i can't do caffeine or i'll never sleep.
what about you, pc? how are you feeling? what can you do to help yourself be ready?
hugs,
crushed
Posted by partlycloudy on February 24, 2005, at 8:27:37
In reply to let's do some preparation, pc » crushedout, posted by crushedout on February 24, 2005, at 7:40:27
For me, I'll have to plan some activities to take me off the worn path of behaviour where I fix a drink as soon as I'm home. In the past when I've tried it's been chores around the house, but then I'm trading a buzz for housework, so... no. I want to trade in for something that makes me feel busy but not like a chore. I'm thinking of gardening stuff (I'm in Florida so I can do that this time of year.) Maybe I'll get some herbs for the kitchen and get those planted.
I don't seem to need to substitute the drink itself as I do it in hiding (gahhh I feel sick just writing this), even when I'm all alone at home. I just need to *do* something other than drink.
Posted by partlycloudy on February 24, 2005, at 8:36:41
In reply to Re: let's do some preparation, pc » crushedout, posted by partlycloudy on February 24, 2005, at 8:27:37
I'm feeling OK but not particularly confident. I have tried this so many times, crushed, and I keep falling down. Sometimes literally. I had a hard time with the anniversary of me falling out of a bar and on my face 2 weeks ago, I keep seeing it in my head. I have dreams that all my teeth are breaking off from falling down.
So I think I need to work on some positive images. Maybe actually cutting and pasting images from a magazine of all the things I'll be able to do if I'm not falling down.
Darn it, I wish I had a social life. This is tough being alone. My husband is supportive, but I only get drunk when he is out of town on business (he knows this). When he's home I can usually make it through an evening without sneaking a drink.
Posted by AuntieMel on February 24, 2005, at 11:36:40
In reply to let's do some preparation, pc » crushedout, posted by crushedout on February 24, 2005, at 7:40:27
I think this is a wonderful thing you guys are doing.
Substitutes are good (though I highly recommend something that does *not* resemble a drink.) Diversions are good, too, but things you enjoy are better than chores. I had the 5 weeks/4 days a week of IOP that helped me break the habit (and it *was* a habit) of popping a top as soon as I got in the door.
It's normal to not have confidence. If you felt confident you would have done it a long time ago, right?
PC - I'll email you my cell number so you can call if you get in a bind.
Crushed - no offense, but I don't want to send my cell through babblemail. It just seems too one-sided. Does this make sense??
Posted by crushedout on February 24, 2005, at 20:11:46
In reply to Re: let's do some preparation - pc and crushed, posted by AuntieMel on February 24, 2005, at 11:36:40
hey mel,i'm not offended at all. not sure what you mean, but i know we don't know each other that well so everything's cool. i'm glad you're emailing pc your cell number.
crushed
Posted by crushedout on February 24, 2005, at 21:00:06
In reply to Re: let's do some preparation, pc » crushedout, posted by partlycloudy on February 24, 2005, at 8:27:37
I think gardening is a great idea, pc, if that gives you pleasure. Can you think of other pleasurable things you can do to reward yourself just for being alive instead of drinking? No, chores are not an option.I like beverages as a substitute. They work well for me. They can also be very healthy. Stuff like green tea, water, soy milk, etc. It's a slow weaning process. At first, you just want to get the alcohol out of your system. Then, once you're leaning on soy milk, it's really not so hard to wean yourself off of that. At least that works for me.
As for previous failures, please try not to think of them. Of course you failed every time before this. If you hadn't, I wouldn't have a quitting buddy right now! One question, though: did you ever plan your quit in advance before or did you quit kind of on the spur-of-the-moment?
Maybe we should babblemail each other and get to know one another better. That way we can be in touch if we need support in the coming weeks, etc. Whaddaya think?
crushed
Posted by medhed on February 24, 2005, at 22:42:25
In reply to Re: let's do some preparation, pc » partlycloudy, posted by crushedout on February 24, 2005, at 21:00:06
Allow yourself some dark chocolate as a reward each day you don't drink. It helps, I know!
Posted by partlycloudy on February 25, 2005, at 9:55:56
In reply to Re: let's do some preparation, pc » partlycloudy, posted by crushedout on February 24, 2005, at 21:00:06
I have never planned a quit date in advance. I've always just woken up feeling wretched, and avow Never To Do It Again... until the next time. I spent most of my therapy session yesterday talking about this project of ours! My T thinks I should dance with joy instead of worrying about "failing". Of course she gave me a hard time about even using the word!!!
you can email me at partlycloudy at gmail dot com.
I'm thinking about stenciling my kitchen walls..... that should keep me out of trouble for a bit.
Posted by AuntieMel on February 25, 2005, at 10:58:56
In reply to Re: let's do some preparation - pc and crushed » AuntieMel, posted by crushedout on February 24, 2005, at 20:11:46
I'll be happy to email it to you too if you babblemail me a real email address (yahoo or hotmail is accepted)
It's just that babble mail is too good an insulator.
Posted by AuntieMel on February 25, 2005, at 11:05:39
In reply to Re: let's do some preparation, pc » crushedout, posted by partlycloudy on February 25, 2005, at 9:55:56
I've got lots of projects we could work on.
1) I'd like to paint ivy around my bathroom window
2) I've got some furniture I need to refinish
3) I sure want to get back into making stained glass
4) Lots of gardening bits. I want to put a path in my back yard.
5) I've got a monkey topiary I need to get squirrel proofed and replanted by spring. Wait - it's already spring here.And I can even take you to the biker bar aa meeting I like to go to.
Think of it as intensive outpatient therapy.
Posted by partlycloudy on February 25, 2005, at 12:02:18
In reply to Re: come to my house for a while » partlycloudy, posted by AuntieMel on February 25, 2005, at 11:05:39
Gahhhh! I started looking for stencils online and it weirded my head out trying to put a pattern together with just one image of a picture at a time. OMG I will have to brave one of those craft stores in person (shudder).
I used to go to a similar meeting to the biker one when I lived up north. What a great bunch of people they were.
Posted by crushedout on February 26, 2005, at 1:06:20
In reply to Re: let's do some preparation, pc » crushedout, posted by partlycloudy on February 25, 2005, at 9:55:56
Wow, pc. I love your therapist's attitude and I'm glad you're talking about our project. Quitting when you've planned ahead (in my experience) is MUCH better than quitting because you wake up feeling like sh*t. One is thought out and the other is reacting to a bad feeling (which eventually goes away and then you can't even remember exactly why it was so important).If you think next Monday (that's three days away!) is too soon, tell me and let's put it off. We could do it March 15. I'm ok with that. The important thing is that you feel ready to do it. (Actually we could even have separate quit dates if, for example, I'm ready now and you're not.)
One thing that may help also is writing down a list of reasons why you want to quit. Looking at such a list (or having it vaguely in your head) can help combat that "why am I doing this again?" feeling when you really want to drink.
Keep thinking of other fun things you'll be able to do with your time.
Also, have you ever actually been to A.A.? I have, and I couldn't go back (I don't think) but maybe it's something for you to consider as an option (since you said you don't have a lot of support)? Just an idea I throw out there.
hugs,
crushed
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