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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Cass on May 28, 2010, at 1:53:19
I'm ill; I'm being treated for pneumonia. Right now I have such a strong sense of vulnerability. My husband died not long ago. He loved me and would've taken care of me. I have wonderful friends. I'm so lucky in that respect. They care about me a lot, and I care about them. But I just feel like being loved and cared for very, very deeply, like only family can. I never really had that from any family member, ever, except from my husband. I long for love and caring. I need to feel supported by someone stronger than myself. It's hard. I have many siblings, but because we were so neglected and unloved as children, we all have our various psychological problems. They can't offer me what I need. I dream of having what I need. I dream.
Posted by Cass on May 28, 2010, at 1:58:30
In reply to I have a strong longing for family, posted by Cass on May 28, 2010, at 1:53:19
This afternoon I posted on my Facebook that I have pneumonia. No one has responded yet. That's not helping.
Posted by Dinah on May 28, 2010, at 6:34:39
In reply to I have a strong longing for family, posted by Cass on May 28, 2010, at 1:53:19
((( Cass )))
I'm so sorry. Life is so lonely sometimes, and losing someone who eases that loneliness just makes it seem all the more stark.
Your friends *do* care about you. Lots of things influence internet time and response. Can you call one of your friends?
Do you experience being able to hold onto your husband? Not in any mystical sense. But in that you can remember his caring and bring that memory up as a comfort? I still have long conversations with Daddy, and while it's not the same of course, it can be comforting. And the father I keep in my mind is my father at his best. Although I do have a tendency to interrupt my thoughts to laugh and remember what he was more likely to have answered.
It's not enough of course. But I find it helps some, and I hope you have that comfort too.
Posted by Phillipa on May 28, 2010, at 12:55:03
In reply to Re: I have a strong longing for family » Cass, posted by Dinah on May 28, 2010, at 6:34:39
Cass I'm on facebook I'd answer you but have no idea who you are. You must be a very strong woman to endure this without your husband. Please feel better soon. Love Phillipa
Posted by Deneb on May 28, 2010, at 20:55:40
In reply to I have a strong longing for family, posted by Cass on May 28, 2010, at 1:53:19
((((((((((Cass)))))))))))))
Sorry you feel lonely and that you have pneumonia. I think friends can care as much as family sometimes. I hope you get that with your friends.
Posted by Cass on May 28, 2010, at 22:57:44
In reply to Re: I have a strong longing for family » Cass, posted by Deneb on May 28, 2010, at 20:55:40
Thanks, you guys. Sometimes it's really scary to be sick and alone. I'm afraid of what the future might hold. I don't have any children. Who would take care of me? My husband was one of the most caring men you could imagine. He liked to take care of me, not that I always felt vulnerable and dependent, he knew I could be strong and he respected that about me. To have a man like that in your life is precious. Lately, I just want to escape and travel and be away. I can't do that right now. I'm too sick. I do have a trip to MN coming up next month which I'm looking forward to. But you know what I think a lot about? The cocktails I'll be ordering!! I drink too much lately. I take pills I could probably do without. I guess I shouldn't dwell on the negative. I do have caring friends, and you guys are really caring, too. I appreciate you support so much. It really makes me feel better.
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