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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Kath on February 4, 2008, at 14:50:04
Oh dear,
I am feeling pretty awful today.
Haven't used my SAD light for at least 2 days. I remember this happening last weekend also; I get off my normal 'schedule' - not that I have a schedule for my days, but my weekends are different. I have used it today & MUST remember to do it every day.
I just feel horrible. SUPER horrible. Like I want to curl up in a ball & evaporate!
And my EFT & TAT methods that I use to help me aren't helping nearly as much as I need!!
I sorta don't want to 'be here' right now.
I feel so badly to be complaining. Feel whiney & scared & as if I won't feel better - like 'how can I feel better?'
Even though I know I have in the past.
Feel like a little kid. A pretty desolate one right now!
Sorry to be such a downer!
Kath
Posted by ClearSkies on February 4, 2008, at 15:18:12
In reply to Feeling pretty crappy :-((((, posted by Kath on February 4, 2008, at 14:50:04
Kath, so sorry that you're having a bad time at the moment. It is so hard to remember that, as good as we may be able to feel for some periods, that we'll probably inevitably get those really crummy times as well, that, for all our good inner and outer work, have to be endured.
I'd keep practicing your energy techniques and tapping, even though you're not feeling the full benefits of them right now. I find that I have to do this with my guided meditations that I've trained myself to do every night as I prepare to go to sleep. My worse busy-ness of my mind really wants to crank up the volume at night, and go over the day's events, and tell myself what I did "wrong" or "should have done" some other way. I've come to believe that this monkey-brain of mine just needs to be perpetually tricked into another activity. For me, that's doing mindfulness techniques, where I make myself think about my physical self and the sensations that I'm experiencing, to the exclusion of those other, busy-making thoughts that try so very hard to intrude.
In part the success of the mindfulness exercises has come from making them a daily ritual, and something that I make myself do whether I feel that I need to or not. Making it a habit has created its own soothing ritual, and now bedtime has once again a time of day that I actually can look forward to, rather than a time that I had grown to despair over, as I used to worry about how I was ever going to be able to relax myself enough to ever fall asleep. Now I spritz a little bit of essential oil - and water mixed linen spray to freshen my pillow, close my eyes, and think about what I'm feeling and hearing, NOTHING ELSE is allowed. If some busy-ness type of thought intrudes on this, then I allow myself to start the process all over again. This little game I play with my brain makes a lovely ending to the day for me - which had always been the absolute worst time of day for me in the past. It can be done!
I've read elsewhere where you've found so much benefit from EFT - and so I would recommend that you not abandon it now when it doesn't seem to be giving you what you feel you need. I think that if you continue its regular practice, you'll find that the very habit and ritual of it will bring its own reward, and in that you'll be able to find some solace.... just my hunch on this one!
In the meantime, I'm sending you some of my own warm and healing thoughts to tide you over until you're able to find those within yourself. And you will.
CS
Posted by kid47 on February 4, 2008, at 15:22:38
In reply to Feeling pretty crappy :-((((, posted by Kath on February 4, 2008, at 14:50:04
Hey Kath. Sorry you're feeling bad. Hang on. Spring isn't far off. I know that I feel better when the weather gets warmer and the days get longer. Any meds on board? I don't take many meds any more, but when I feel like I'm starting a downward spiral, I have some drugs (legal) that I've learned to count on to help me through the rough parts and keep me from hitting bottom. Sending good vibes your way.
Peace and Happiness
kid
Posted by Kath on February 4, 2008, at 16:03:11
In reply to Re: Feeling pretty crappy :-(((( » Kath, posted by ClearSkies on February 4, 2008, at 15:18:12
Thx so much CS. I'll try the 'mindfulness' - sounds like one closes one's eyes & just feels & hears. I've done it in bed when I've had the bad times when I am curled up & in almost physical pain...I've just 'felt' then. Sounds like something I can do during the day. I think bringing the "what am I hearing" part in will be useful for me.
Thx, Kath
Posted by Kath on February 4, 2008, at 16:07:43
In reply to Re: Feeling pretty crappy :-(((( » Kath, posted by kid47 on February 4, 2008, at 15:22:38
Hi k,
thx. Our snowy winter started in Nov this year!!!
I have clonazepam, which I sometimes use if I'm having trouble going to sleep. The other day I felt bad & took clon but it did NOT help at all. I have a doctor's appt tonight for hypnosis (his office called me to see if I wanted a cancellation that came up! Good timing). I'm going to ask him.
I don't even know what type of med would help! I think clon. might if it was anxiety but this is a DARK GREY feeling! :-) oh well, at least I can manage a little smile.
Thanks for your kind words & support.
I hope you're well,
hugs, Kath
Posted by Phillipa on February 4, 2008, at 19:06:34
In reply to Re: Feeling pretty crappy :-(((( » kid47, posted by Kath on February 4, 2008, at 16:07:43
Kath the hypnotist sounds great as you will be in deep relaxation and maybe the reason will come out or low dose ad? Good luck tonight and let us know what happens. ((((((((Kath)))))) Phillipa
Posted by Kath on February 4, 2008, at 19:41:24
In reply to Re: Feeling pretty crappy :-(((( » Kath, posted by Phillipa on February 4, 2008, at 19:06:34
Thx. On my way now. Feeling a bit better - used S.A.D. lite 2 times today.
Kath
Posted by Kath on February 4, 2008, at 21:14:43
In reply to Feeling pretty crappy :-((((, posted by Kath on February 4, 2008, at 14:50:04
Had hypnosis with family doctor.
I feel quite a bit better; already was - I used my SAD light 2X & think it helped....isn't it weird though, that it might work that quickly?
Kath
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on February 4, 2008, at 23:06:26
In reply to Feeling pretty crappy :-((((, posted by Kath on February 4, 2008, at 14:50:04
Kath
Sorry it sucks right nowsometimes..one step uptwo steps downas Bruce (Springsteen) sings (God I love that song..) My little trick islet it passkinda like those days when you have a really bad cold or something.just do the basics, hold the fort down, get plenty of rest, and it too will pass. Hold tight, keep warm, and stay safe.
Best as always,
Jay
Posted by Kath on February 5, 2008, at 15:22:53
In reply to Re: Feeling pretty crappy :-(((( » Kath, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on February 4, 2008, at 23:06:26
Hi Jay - thanks for your useful support.
"This too shall pass" is a really important concept that I must try to remember when I'm feeling really badly.
Went to therapist today & she asked about my sleep patterns.
She says we need 3 sleep cycles a night to be healthy. Each cycle takes 2 1/2 -3 hours.
I often wake up to turn over, or go to the washroom, so I'm going to take note of the illuminated clock to see if I'm getting my full cycle before I wake.
Thanks for your suppport & caring Jay. How are you doing?
Kath
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on February 5, 2008, at 18:40:00
In reply to Re: Feeling a fair bit better :-) » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by Kath on February 5, 2008, at 15:22:53
> Hi Jay - thanks for your useful support.
>
> "This too shall pass" is a really important concept that I must try to remember when I'm feeling really badly.
>
> Went to therapist today & she asked about my sleep patterns.
>
> She says we need 3 sleep cycles a night to be healthy. Each cycle takes 2 1/2 -3 hours.
>
> I often wake up to turn over, or go to the washroom, so I'm going to take note of the illuminated clock to see if I'm getting my full cycle before I wake.
>
> Thanks for your suppport & caring Jay. How are you doing?
>
> KathHi Kath...
Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better. The 'this too shall pass' comment maybe sounds a bit simplistic and cliché, but it was such a wise and useful thing a fellow griever/mourner explained to me (with a much deeper story then just that simple comment) when I experienced my own tragedies. At the time, it didn't really click, and I even felt a bit pissed off and maybe offended. I was just drowning in so much grief and darkness. I remember asking the question I had read in a 'grief' book, millions..billions of times over.."What happens to a person who goes through this, and what do they look like when they come out the other end?"
But, back to the main idea, is having to break the massive, humungous big stuff into baby steps. Then when the pain became really acute, it was like, "hold tight...batten down the hatches...get somewhere safe." It was like a storm swell within a larger storm, and the law of nature is what goes up, has to come down. So, time actually becomes the healer, not the enemy that we so often make it out to be. In the meanwhile, you squint, clench your teeth, scream a bit, etc, and then eventually the break in the clouds, even if just temporary, comes.
Anyhow, I hope that makes sense!..lol. I am actually not a 'traditional' talk therapy type of person. I learn't most of the mainstream/ psychotherapeutic ones in my social work education. I can conduct and facilitate most individual and group therapies very well. But, I am such a 'feelings' type of person, eclectic therapies like music, art, drama, and existentialism really only 'work' for me.
So......we keep 'holding on'....right? :-)
Best as always....and thanks so kindly.
Jay
Posted by TexasChic on February 5, 2008, at 19:55:09
In reply to Re: Feeling a fair bit better :-) » Kath, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on February 5, 2008, at 18:40:00
And you both are entitled to some 'down' time. You can't always be 'on'. You two always give everyone else support, so now its our turn. Okay, now I don't have anything profound to follow that statement. Other than, YOU ROCK!!!! Seriously. The two of you have gotten me through some really tough times. I have printed out posts from each of you to remind me of the support I have here. So give yourself some time. Like Jay said, its like being sick, you have to allow yourself to get better. And you will.
-T
Posted by Kath on February 5, 2008, at 20:43:35
In reply to Kath and Clearskies, you're both our ROCKs here!, posted by TexasChic on February 5, 2008, at 19:55:09
Thank you both for your SO kind words! and gentle support. I truly appreciate it.
I am feeling a LOT better now (9:30 pm). I would NOT have believed yesterday that I could possibly feel this much better this quickly.
I had therapy today with the lady who I go to through hubby's Employee Assistance probram at his work. She is SO excellent. She helps me understand myself & understand the triggers, & how when I feel like I felt during some childhood trauma, the 'now' me interprets the 'now' stuff as being traumatic & horrendous like it was for the 'child' me. My mind misinterprets it.
She also explained lots of other things, including when I wake up from bad dreams feeling dreadful, my mind doesn't know the difference between what is REAL & what ISN'T real. So I now say out loud (if I've had a traumatic dream) "That was just a dream. That was NOT REAL. These feelings are from something that was not real" It seems to help to some extent.
Thx TC.....for letting me look at allowing myself to be 'down' & allowing myself to accept love & caring support from others!! And it makes me feel nice to know you printed stuff I wrote. I know I've printed stuff others have written, so it feels like an honour that you did that!!
And thx Jay....for sharing your pain & what you've learned from it.
:-) Kath
Posted by tina on February 6, 2008, at 12:47:17
In reply to Re: Kath/Clearskies, you're both our ROCKs)Jay/TC, posted by Kath on February 5, 2008, at 20:43:35
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on February 6, 2008, at 17:09:42
In reply to (((((Kath)))))) (nm), posted by tina on February 6, 2008, at 12:47:17
This is the end of the thread.
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