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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 24 of 24. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on February 20, 2006, at 12:52:50
Anyone read "The Giving Tree"?
The ending makes me tear up everytime. :-)
I love that story.
Deneb
Posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 13:03:35
In reply to A children's story that makes me tear up, posted by Deneb on February 20, 2006, at 12:52:50
I suppose I shouldn't admit this about such a classic, but it annoys me no end.
I just keep wanting to yell "Enough already. Quit with the giving!!"
Posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 13:18:51
In reply to Re: A children's story that makes me tear up » Deneb, posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 13:03:35
Although I have to confess to not having a very literary frame of mind. I tend to take things literally and may be missing some metaphor or something.
Posted by Deneb on February 20, 2006, at 13:19:04
In reply to Re: A children's story that makes me tear up » Deneb, posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 13:03:35
> I suppose I shouldn't admit this about such a classic, but it annoys me no end.
>
> I just keep wanting to yell "Enough already. Quit with the giving!!"That's an interesting reaction Dinah. Are you maybe uncomfortable with accepting what others have to give? Maybe uncomfortable with being on the receiving end of unconditional love?
Deneb
Posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 13:27:59
In reply to Re: A children's story that makes me tear up » Dinah, posted by Deneb on February 20, 2006, at 13:19:04
No, not particularly.
I just don't see that love, even unconditional love, should consume one party to benefit another. I'd prefer that the tree draw some healthy boundaries to love the boy, but without harming herself doing it. Maybe teach him other ways to get his needs met.
Maybe the latent feminist in me sees it as a metaphor for a mother giving and giving and giving to her children, leaving them to grow up with a sense of entitlement, and her depleted, spent and with nothing left to give anyone, including herself. Which doesn't seem all that loving a thing to do to one's children.
Now, if the tree were always there to listen, or to comfort, without destroying itself in the process, I'd be more touched. Or if the tree gave its life for the boy in an emergency situation out of love, I'd feel differently. I'm a sucker for dog stories.
Posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 13:41:19
In reply to Re: A children's story that makes me tear up » Dinah, posted by Deneb on February 20, 2006, at 13:19:04
Although to be honest, I would feel pretty bad if I were to accept someone's love in a way that left them eviscerated, sapped, empty and spent. Yes, that would make me supremely uncomfortable. No matter how much they loved me, I wouldn't be able to enjoy that love knowing the cost to them.
But then again, I didn't review that book, I think it's called "Love You Forever" that's supposed to be such a wonderful book before reading it to my young son, and I had to stop partway through because it made me terribly uneasy. I halfway wanted to call Child Protective Services.
So, maybe I'm just not meant to read children's classics.
Posted by Deneb on February 20, 2006, at 13:57:05
In reply to Re: A children's story that makes me tear up » Deneb, posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 13:27:59
> I just don't see that love, even unconditional love, should consume one party to benefit another.
You have a point there. :-) But I think the story was more about the giving of love itself. All the tree wanted was to be able to give love to the boy to be happy. I think it shows just how much parents love their children. I don't see the tree as sacrificing itself. I think the "gifts" are supposed to represent love. The tree always had more love to give. I think the tree was happy to know that its love was accepted by the boy.
I dunno. LOL I'm not a literary person either. ;-)
Deneb
Posted by Gabbix2 on February 20, 2006, at 16:01:26
In reply to Re: A children's story that makes me tear up, posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 13:41:19
> Although to be honest, I would feel pretty bad if I were to accept someone's love in a way that left them eviscerated, sapped, empty and spent. Yes, that would make me supremely uncomfortable. No matter how much they loved me, I wouldn't be able to enjoy that love knowing the cost to them.
>
> But then again, I didn't review that book, I think it's called "Love You Forever" that's supposed to be such a wonderful book before reading it to my young son, and I had to stop partway through because it made me terribly uneasy. I halfway wanted to call Child Protective Services.
>
> So, maybe I'm just not meant to read children's classics.Ha!
That story made me literally queasy.. it's perverse.
Or, I felt it was perverse
No.. it.. perversed me.Oh I don't know.
No offence meant to anyone who liked the d*mn book.
Truly
Posted by sleepygirl on February 20, 2006, at 17:19:49
In reply to Re: A children's story that makes me tear up, posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 13:41:19
both of those stories make me uneasy - Something about the boundaries feels off
Posted by Phillipa on February 20, 2006, at 17:21:35
In reply to Re: A children's story that makes me tear up » Dinah, posted by sleepygirl on February 20, 2006, at 17:19:49
Never heard of those stories maybe Little Women but didn't even read that one. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Deneb on February 20, 2006, at 17:29:50
In reply to Re: A children's story that makes me tear up » Dinah, posted by sleepygirl on February 20, 2006, at 17:19:49
> both of those stories make me uneasy - Something about the boundaries feels off
I must admit, I'm surprised that so many people feel uneasy about these stories.
Maybe it was just the way I was raised. In our family children are always children to parents, no matter how old they are. And the children will eventually come to take care of the parents. There are no boundaries when it comes to money or resources.
Posted by Deneb on February 20, 2006, at 17:32:25
In reply to Re: A children's story that makes me tear up, posted by Deneb on February 20, 2006, at 17:29:50
Is this an issue of independence versus dependence?
Maybe it's just my culture or something, but we value dependence on each other much more than independence.
Posted by sleepygirl on February 20, 2006, at 17:34:55
In reply to Re: A children's story that makes me tear up, posted by Deneb on February 20, 2006, at 17:29:50
I think limits are love. It communicates to the other person that they are capable of taking care of themselves, living apart, and discovering things for themselves. I mean that poor tree ends up just a stump for goodness sake!
Posted by sleepygirl on February 20, 2006, at 17:35:48
In reply to Re: A children's story that makes me tear up, posted by Deneb on February 20, 2006, at 17:32:25
I think it might be a cultural thing.
Posted by Deneb on February 20, 2006, at 18:04:53
In reply to Re: A children's story that makes me tear up » Deneb, posted by sleepygirl on February 20, 2006, at 17:35:48
> I think it might be a cultural thing.
Maybe, although I must admit I don't know very much about Chinese culture so I don't know if our family has typical values.
Posted by Gabbix2 on February 20, 2006, at 22:34:10
In reply to Re: A children's story that makes me tear up » Deneb, posted by sleepygirl on February 20, 2006, at 17:34:55
> I think limits are love. It communicates to the other person that they are capable of taking care of themselves, living apart, and discovering things for themselves. I mean that poor tree ends up just a stump for goodness sake!
I haven't read the book, but as it's Shel Silverstein, it makes me wonder if maybe that's the lesson, and a reminder not to keep taking, without giving.
I dont' know, of course because I don't know how the giving tree is seen.
But I can imagine if it were discussed with children, the question would arise about whether or not the boy did the right thing.
Posted by Gabbix2 on February 20, 2006, at 22:36:29
In reply to Re: A children's story that makes me tear up » Deneb, posted by sleepygirl on February 20, 2006, at 17:35:48
I just read about it, and that tree was pretty happy..
Posted by Deneb on February 20, 2006, at 22:39:43
In reply to Oh I guess not » sleepygirl, posted by Gabbix2 on February 20, 2006, at 22:36:29
If I were the Giving Tree, I would be very very sad if the person I gave my gifts to didn't accept them or felt guilty about taking. The greatest joy would be in seeing how my gifts made someone happy and I would be very sad indeed if anything came between the happiness.
Posted by Gabbix2 on February 21, 2006, at 16:53:14
In reply to Re: Oh I guess not, posted by Deneb on February 20, 2006, at 22:39:43
I think gifts are lovely but it sounded to me like he kept asking for more and more things.
I never think of gifts as something you ask for, unless it's maybe you're birthday.I really loved what you said about valuing depedence though.
I've often wondered why my culture is so rabid at times about independence and autonomy, when nothing in the world is actually independent..
And I think, in some ways it's easier to be an individual, when you know you have support.
Posted by Gabbix2 on February 21, 2006, at 19:47:20
In reply to Re: Oh I guess not, posted by Deneb on February 20, 2006, at 22:39:43
There are so many ways to look at that.
Some people are truly made satisfied by giving til it hurts.
People who go to war torn countries, or third world countries to help, that's what they're doing.
People who unofficially take vows of poverty to work with the marginalized in society are doing that.
No one had to worry about Mother Theresa's boundaries.
And I believe she recieved as much as she gave.
I guess we shouldn't always pathologize that or use our own feelings to second guess why someone else is doing such things.
Because we just don't know.And maybe that's one of the discussions that the book would have brought up in school.
Maybe a little less intense as it was for young kids, but obviously it's the kind of book people remember into adulthood. It's certainly an interesting topic.
It's gotten me thinking.Thanks for that
Posted by JenStar on February 23, 2006, at 0:11:26
In reply to A children's story that makes me tear up, posted by Deneb on February 20, 2006, at 12:52:50
Yes, but I read that Silverstein actually meant it as a sarcastic/ironic discussion of the role women have and take in society. I don't know if that's true...but it changed the way I read the story.
The ones that makes me cry every time: The Velveteen Rabbit. Oh my gosh, I'm going to cry just thinking about it!
JenStar
Posted by JenStar on February 23, 2006, at 0:17:41
In reply to Re: A children's story that makes me tear up » Deneb, posted by JenStar on February 23, 2006, at 0:11:26
The one that REALLY makes me cry is The Happy Prince by Oscar Wilde. I seriously cry big, real tears every time.
JenStar
Posted by Gabbix2 on February 23, 2006, at 0:40:50
In reply to Re: A children's story that makes me tear up » Deneb, posted by JenStar on February 23, 2006, at 0:11:26
I wouldn't be surprised if that was true.
He wrote the "Ballad of Lucy Jordan" and I was shocked when I found out a man wrote that.
To me, anyway, it showed pointed insight into the lives of many women.
Posted by wildcard11 on February 23, 2006, at 17:10:27
In reply to A children's story that makes me tear up, posted by Deneb on February 20, 2006, at 12:52:50
This is the end of the thread.
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