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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by TexasChic on November 12, 2005, at 21:16:25
Friday I got so-o-o fed up with being taken for granted by people at work. The people who sit next to me talk all day. This includes 'cute boy' (the young guy I have a secret crush on). But I can never quite hear what they're saying. And when I try to say something, they're so intent on their conversation that they don't hear me. I feel like I'm invisible. This has been bugging me for a while. I even talked to one of them about how I try to talk to them and they can't hear me. I could tell she really did feel bad, but it didn't change anything. Its obviously not intentional, but its getting pretty d@mned annoying.
Now this doesn't include the three people who are the core of my new group of friends (they sit on the other side of the room). They always make me feel wanted and like I'm part of the group. I guess this is kind of a sub-group of people who occasionally hang out with us.
Anyway, Friday at lunch they all jumped up and went out to eat. We do this occasionally, but I'm usually included. I was just left sitting there going, 'where'd everbody go?' I don't seem to register on the radar or something. This type of thing is something I've been slowly getting madder and madder at 'cute boy' about (although he's totally different outside of work, which just confuses me). By now he's hung out with me long enough that rationally, he should 'at least' tell me thery're going out for lunch, if not a 'Hey, come to lunch with us!'
So I finally got pissed, and just skipped out on bowling that afternoon without a word to anyone. I know, 'that'll show 'em!' Ha, ha. It's just that bowling is a regular thing I do with 'cute boy' (and a few others), and neither of us have ever missed. And last time we had such a great time! I guess the final straw was when I heard that the other people in the group who ignore me were going (they usually don't). So all I could think was, do I really want to go out with the same people who've been driving me crazy, just so they can do it some more? That decided it for me.
I know its stupid, they probably won't think anything about it. But I just wanted once for me to not 'just be there', dependable T. Oh well, it made me feel better even if they don't notice. I guess I'll see the reaction, or lack there of, on Monday. (I've so-o-o got to get a life outside of work).
-T
Posted by Phillipa on November 12, 2005, at 21:50:53
In reply to SSDD, posted by TexasChic on November 12, 2005, at 21:16:25
Is he trying to impress someone at work? Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by lynn971 on November 12, 2005, at 22:26:28
In reply to SSDD, posted by TexasChic on November 12, 2005, at 21:16:25
Well I get offended pretty easily, so I dont know if I am a good one to give you advice.
When "cute boy" asks why you did not go bowling, I would tell him why.
I have this point of view, If someone cannot be nice to me infront of certain people, then they dont need to be my friend.
My assistant principal and I were very close. One day at a softball game he was with certain people. He acted as if he didnt really know me. I backed off from him until this very day..
At school, I am one of his only friends, so now he is trying for us to be close again, but now I dont trust him.
Dont let "cute boy" use you.
Love ya,
Lynn
Posted by TexasChic on November 12, 2005, at 23:54:01
In reply to Re: SSDD, posted by lynn971 on November 12, 2005, at 22:26:28
Thanks yall. I don't think there's anyone at work he's trying to impress. I think because one girl in particular is such a talker, they just get caught up in conversation and don't realize nobody has spoken to me ALL DAY! I think its just easy for some people to take me for granted because I'm nice and easy going, and don't demand to be the center of attention. I just feel like a friend would eventually realize he sits beside me all day but has only spoken two words to me in 8 hours (which are responses to something I've said). And I feel like 'anyone' would eventually realize they're being rude, even if its unintentional.
I have a history of being a doormat, but its something I've worked very hard to overcome. So it really bothers me when I realize I'm doing it again (and I've just realized that's what I'm doing with this situation). It starts off with me trying to be assertive, but then turns into me making all the effort to maintain a friendship.
I'm just going to go to work on Monday, put on my headphones, do my job, read my book at lunch, and not make any attempt to talk to these people. I'm not going to be rude, I just won't put out the extra effort anymore. Eventually I know they will notice, but how long it will take is another issue. Not that I'm actually expecting any major reactions. Its just time for me to move on.
If 'cute boy' actually cares about the friendship we've built up, well, he's just going to have to step up. Its just way too much work and very little results.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on November 14, 2005, at 18:28:43
In reply to Re: SSDD, posted by TexasChic on November 12, 2005, at 23:54:01
Well I stuck to my plan and things went pretty well. I didn't speak to or look at cute boy at all. It took a couple of hours, but finally he came up to me and said, "You missed a really good time bowling on Friday." I said, "Oh, did you have fun?" And he said, "No, actually I was being sarcastic." Then he went on to tell me that their lane kept breaking down, about 8 times. He said everyone was going, "I wish T was here!." (The guys at the bowling alley are pretty slow about fixing things, unless I go up there and batt my eyes). So that was kind of sweet.
But I stuck to my plan and absolutely did not initiate conversation all day. I'm being careful not to be negative, just holding back a bit. I never realized how hard that would be. I guess I'm more social than I thought. I'll try to keep it up and we'll see how things go from here.
-T
This is the end of the thread.
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