Psycho-Babble Social Thread 557011

Shown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offensive

Posted by TexasChic on September 19, 2005, at 19:46:50

Okay, I''m 35 years old and all I can think about is sex! I've heard this is when you hit you sexual peak but I never thought it would be like this! I have the libido of an 18 year old boy! And nobody to share it with. Guys always say that girls can get laid anytime they want. Not true! Who's going to go pick up a strange man and bring him into your home or go with him to his? I know that's why I'm so obsessed about this cute guy at work. I just want someone to have sex with! Has anyone else gone through this? I'm serious, this is really a problem. I know I'm also craving the closeness and intimacy. I'm beginning to think I'll never have it. I just don't know how to not be desperate right now and do something stupid. I hope I don't get in trouble for writing this. I just didn't know who else to go to.

 

Re: Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offensive

Posted by Susan47 on September 19, 2005, at 22:02:28

In reply to Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offensive, posted by TexasChic on September 19, 2005, at 19:46:50

When I hit the wall I took care of myself with every way I could think of.. it takes care of the sex but it doesn't help with the lack of touching, human contact, eye contact, love. I don't know the answer. If I did, I'd have the man I want.

 

Re: Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offensive » TexasChic

Posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2005, at 22:06:24

In reply to Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offensive, posted by TexasChic on September 19, 2005, at 19:46:50

LOL!!!!
I go through phases of that too.

>Guys always say that girls can get laid anytime they want. Not true! Who's going to go pick up a strange man and bring him into your home or go with him to his?

I think that the difference is that if you did want to pick up a strange man and go have sex with him then it would be fairly much guaranteed to happen...
With guys, on the other hand, they may well go out in order to pick up a strange lady and go have sex with her yet it is not at all guaranteed that it is going to happen...

:-)

Yeah... I think Susan might be on to something...
But yeah, doesn't compare to a real person

:-(

 

Re: Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offensive

Posted by spriggy on September 19, 2005, at 23:27:45

In reply to Re: Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offensive » TexasChic, posted by alexandra_k on September 19, 2005, at 22:06:24


I wonder if you are missing the intimacy, not necessarily the sex?? Of course, it could VERY well be the sex..

I'm just one of those women ( albeit I'm married and this man would give to me anytime!) that could get it once a week and be just happy! Okay, sometimes more like once per month.

Man alive, I can't wait to be 35.

Have you ever tried meeting someone on like E Harmony? We've had a lot of friends' have success with meeting a mate on there.

Sorry to hear of your problem but if you can figure out how to bottle some of it up, send it my way, would ya? ROFL.

 

We're not offended... » TexasChic

Posted by crazy teresa on September 20, 2005, at 0:53:55

In reply to Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offensive, posted by TexasChic on September 19, 2005, at 19:46:50

We love to talk about sex! ROFL!!! Most of it is on the relationship board.

I used to have that problem (and I was married); meds have pretty much taken care of it though. I read the other day hypersexuality can be a symptom of bi-polar. (Not that that's what you are, I just wasn't aware that was actually a symptom of anything!)

crazy t

 

Re: We're not offended...

Posted by TexasChic on September 20, 2005, at 4:50:55

In reply to We're not offended... » TexasChic, posted by crazy teresa on September 20, 2005, at 0:53:55

Thanks yall. I wasn't so much looking for a solution as just wondering if everyone gets this way at this age. And you're right about my wanting the closeness and intimacy. I know that's a big part of it. I feel like I'm starved for affection. Maybe its just manifesting itself as wanting sex. But that's definitely not the only cause!

And I'm not going to do anything stupid (like go sleep with a random man), I was just 'frustrated' last night. I've never been one for casual sex. I guess that's why this is freaking me out.

 

Re: Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offensive

Posted by happyflower on September 20, 2005, at 7:05:45

In reply to Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offensive, posted by TexasChic on September 19, 2005, at 19:46:50

Hey, do you mind if I chime in here? LOL I am 36 almost 37, yikes!, but anyways I hit my sexual peak right around last year! LOL It is true that women's peak is in there mid 30's!!!! Trust me, I know all too well! I am still in my peak, now if I can just get my DH to increase his.

 

Re: Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offensive

Posted by sunny10 on September 20, 2005, at 8:57:06

In reply to Re: Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offensive, posted by happyflower on September 20, 2005, at 7:05:45

I agree- I go through the same thing... I am 38 now...
But now I am getting "too tired" at the end of a hard day, so the sexual thoughts just kind of jump around in my head without being acted upon all of the time, even though I have a man around...

I actually miss the energy I had as little as three years ago...

 

Re: Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offens

Posted by TexasChic on September 20, 2005, at 15:33:44

In reply to Re: Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offensive, posted by sunny10 on September 20, 2005, at 8:57:06

Thanks yall, I feel so much better knowing its not just me!

As for the guy at work I have a crush on, today a few of us were outside talking, and the subject came up of couples at work. And he said "dating at work is never a good thing, what are you supposed to do when you break up?" So I spent the rest of the day all sad thinking, well that's that. He's not interested.

But then... right as I was booting up the computer it occured to me that it could be that he actually is interested, but just doesn't want to start something like that at work. The more I thought about it, the more it went with the way he has acted. I mean, he has done some things to make me think he's interested. That made me feel better. So, I don't know if I'm just grasping at straws or if its true, but regardless I'm going to try to let it go. Damn, its going to be hard. I'll have to stop doing things like ruffling his hair & waving across the room at him ('he' started the waving thing).

The thing is, I knew all along the way I felt was tangled up with the fantasy of how I thought it would be to be with him, and I knew that would be a problem even if he did like me back. So I know this is a good thing. So why does it suck so bad?

Okay, I'm just going to have to find something else to focus on. If only I could meet men somewhere other than work. Its just so easy to get to know them in that environment.

Anyway, here it goes. I'm going to try to focus on improving me, on getting out of the house and making friends and hanging out. I know that's the first step to meeting someone new.

Thanks for listening to me ramble. It helps me figure things out.

 

Re: ^Oops!^

Posted by TexasChic on September 20, 2005, at 15:37:50

In reply to Re: Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offens, posted by TexasChic on September 20, 2005, at 15:33:44

I just realized I talked about the guy at work in another thread. Oh well, it goes with the subject.

 

Re: Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offensive » happyflower

Posted by alexandra_k on September 20, 2005, at 18:23:24

In reply to Re: Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offensive, posted by happyflower on September 20, 2005, at 7:05:45

> Hey, do you mind if I chime in here? LOL I am 36 almost 37, yikes!, but anyways I hit my sexual peak right around last year! LOL It is true that women's peak is in there mid 30's!!!!

Oh no, you mean I'm going to get worse????!

;-)

 

Re: Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offens » TexasChic

Posted by Racer on September 20, 2005, at 20:10:52

In reply to Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offensive, posted by TexasChic on September 19, 2005, at 19:46:50

Believe it or not, this is a serious answer: consider getting a cat.

When I've had periods like this -- and believe me, I have -- the closest I've come to satisfying my needs is to curl up with a cat to get some cuddle time. It's not the same as cuddling with another human, and I still have to do the pleasure thing myself (without the cat, if possible ;-D ), but at least having some other creature offer the comfort of closeness and the loving look on my cats' faces when we cuddle -- it does help.

Sorry I can't offer anything better than that. What I will say, though, is that I have had my best luck meeting lovers when NOT looking. If I'm looking for a relationship, I won't find anything. If, on the other hand, I'm not looking for anything in particular, then I seem to be hard to resist... Met my spouse at match.com at a time when all I wanted was casual dating. Turned out that the third or four person I met was The Right One for me. {shrug} It happens...

By the way, I think I was 35 when that happened...

 

Re: Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offensive

Posted by lynn970 on September 20, 2005, at 20:58:04

In reply to Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offensive, posted by TexasChic on September 19, 2005, at 19:46:50

I guess I shouldn't complain when my husband wants sex AGAIN. lol

 

Re: Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offens

Posted by TexasChic on September 21, 2005, at 15:31:35

In reply to Re: Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offens » TexasChic, posted by Racer on September 20, 2005, at 20:10:52

> Believe it or not, this is a serious answer: consider getting a cat.

Actually I have a cat. I think I'd be totally insane without him. It does definitely help with the loneliness.


> Sorry I can't offer anything better than that. What I will say, though, is that I have had my best luck meeting lovers when NOT looking. If I'm looking for a relationship, I won't find anything. If, on the other hand, I'm not looking for anything in particular, then I seem to be hard to resist... Met my spouse at match.com at a time when all I wanted was casual dating. Turned out that the third or four person I met was The Right One for me. {shrug} It happens...
>
> By the way, I think I was 35 when that happened...

Now THAT'S encouraging! I guess I get to feeling that since I haven't had a serious relationship by this time in my life, its never going to happen. I know that's not necessarily true, but I just have to convince my brain to accept that.

Thanks!

 

Oh honey, you have NO IDEA!!! (nm) » alexandra_k

Posted by crazy teresa on September 21, 2005, at 16:47:54

In reply to Re: Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offensive » happyflower, posted by alexandra_k on September 20, 2005, at 18:23:24

 

Seriously, you can't understand until you exp. it (nm)

Posted by TexasChic on September 21, 2005, at 18:35:48

In reply to Oh honey, you have NO IDEA!!! (nm) » alexandra_k, posted by crazy teresa on September 21, 2005, at 16:47:54

 

Re: Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offensive » TexasChic

Posted by alesta on September 22, 2005, at 13:39:02

In reply to Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offensive, posted by TexasChic on September 19, 2005, at 19:46:50

hi texaschic!
good to see you again! i know exactly how you feel, lol..i went through this and posted a lot about it in the past here..it got pretty bad for me, but has subsided now..i realize now that it had to do with an extremely enticing long-distance relationship i was involved in at the time, and i guess i was *really* frustrated, lol..but i know the feeling *exactly*..it is very powerful and consuming, and hard to explain to someone not experiencing it..i really don't know how to help..i hesitate to say get a good vibrator, because that doesn't provide the human contact you're probably craving..please keep talking about these feelings, so you *don't* go and do something too drastic that you might regret. btw, at one point i was even considering cybersex, which actually still doesn't sound like such a bad idea to me...oh boy...here i go again..:) sorry. anyhow, i know there is a solution out there..didn't read other replies to this thread yet (limited time) so i hope this wasn't redundant for you.

take care and be safe,:)
amy

 

Re: Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offens

Posted by TexasChic on September 23, 2005, at 12:24:10

In reply to Re: Serious sensitive subject - sex- may be offensive » TexasChic, posted by alesta on September 22, 2005, at 13:39:02

Thanks alesta. I think I'm just going to have to be patient. I just feel like I have all these feelings inside and nothing to do with them. I didn't mean that in a sexual way, although that would apply too!


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