Psycho-Babble Social Thread 389577

Shown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Anyone here lost a child and/or spouse?

Posted by jay on September 11, 2004, at 8:41:40

Sorry I've been writing vague and such posts...but it's all linked to this time of year. I am coming up on the anniversary, and every year it's just not pretty. The other thing is...I have a *problem* even speaking about what happened to me...it's like I can't bring myself to say the words. It's like when I do bring myself to words...it just hammers it home again..and that becomes such a painful place to go. But I also feel the need to get out so much of what is in me...through words, music, poetry, as they seem the most powerful.

Having said that, I am pretty heavily medicated, (5 meds..not *that* much..I guess..) and that provides an "occasional" floor for me to stand on. (Touch wood) Beyond that though....I am really lost....I really am. I am trying to somehow rebuild a life, but it's a lot of blood, sweat, and tears. Somedays I feel like I am 100 years old.

Jay

 

Re: Anyone here lost a child and/or spouse?

Posted by Jai Narayan on September 11, 2004, at 9:43:36

In reply to Anyone here lost a child and/or spouse?, posted by jay on September 11, 2004, at 8:41:40

yes. My x-husband just died this year. My first boyfriend died when I was 16. I gave my son up for adoption which felt like a death. My partner had a baby die in a fire. We are all surrounded by death and loss.
anniversary dates are hard.
please post poetry on our writing babble. You will be well received and supported. I am there often and will comment. There is also the grief site...I frequent that site as well. You get a lot of support there as well.
Remember you are not alone with this. We are here.
take care

 

jay..

Posted by justyourlaugh on September 11, 2004, at 19:31:56

In reply to Re: Anyone here lost a child and/or spouse?, posted by Jai Narayan on September 11, 2004, at 9:43:36

i love to read all of your posts
your poem was heartbreaking...for me
i wish many things for you..
i wish you had a watcher
you have been through hell..
the pain even someone 100 may never feel.
but i know you will find happiness
your deserving
kind sole
will be rewarded

 

Re: jay.. » justyourlaugh

Posted by jay on September 11, 2004, at 20:24:34

In reply to jay.., posted by justyourlaugh on September 11, 2004, at 19:31:56

> i love to read all of your posts
> your poem was heartbreaking...for me
> i wish many things for you..
> i wish you had a watcher
> you have been through hell..
> the pain even someone 100 may never feel.
> but i know you will find happiness
> your deserving
> kind sole
> will be rewarded

JYL...you are *always* there for me..at the right moment...with the right words...you are a true kind soul, and as the song goes (without being too mushy ;-) "Heaven's Missing an Angel".
I love your writting style too...something I wanted to say for awhile..very Poe-esque. I *really* hope all is going well for you...but I understand the reality of all this. Please take care....stay warm by lighting bonfires in the dark if you can.

Sincerely,
Jay

 

Re: Anyone here lost a child and/or spouse? » Jai Narayan

Posted by jay on September 11, 2004, at 20:39:36

In reply to Re: Anyone here lost a child and/or spouse?, posted by Jai Narayan on September 11, 2004, at 9:43:36

> yes. My x-husband just died this year. My first boyfriend died when I was 16. I gave my son up for adoption which felt like a death. My partner had a baby die in a fire. We are all surrounded by death and loss.
> anniversary dates are hard.
> please post poetry on our writing babble. You will be well received and supported. I am there often and will comment. There is also the grief site...I frequent that site as well. You get a lot of support there as well.
> Remember you are not alone with this. We are here.
> take care
>
>

Jai...thanx for your post. Ya, I know about all of the other boards..I've been posting here for the last 100 years or so. ;-) I lost my only child, my daughter and then a year latter lost her Mom, who was really my wife as we had lived together for many years. We where going to have a formal wedding that summer. My daughter was in a car accident...and I used to have to pass by the exact place every day to work where it was. Now I have moved to a new city, I still have the "mental video tape loop" of the accident. Anyhow...thats all I really want to write about that..or I'll end up in bed, or worse, hospital, for the next few months.

Peace,
Jay

 

Re: Anyone here lost a child and/or spouse?

Posted by Jai Narayan on September 12, 2004, at 8:33:07

In reply to Re: Anyone here lost a child and/or spouse? » Jai Narayan, posted by jay on September 11, 2004, at 20:39:36

Well, Jay I'm so glad you could share something of this sadness you have endured.
Sudden loss is so difficult for the mind to accept and understand.
Our brains just don't get it.
I know after my dad died I kept looking for him.
His death was expected, he was 91 and ailing.
I just couldn't get over it. I kept thinking that he would be back....
not in a metaphysical way either...
the man I knew couldn't just disappear.
He was in my life forever and I could not comprehend death and it's finality. I have some of his ashes.
This life is such a mystery and then death comes along and I just shake my head. I still don't get it.
Where can our love go?
The love I held in my being for my dad?
I am getting old myself and I will be seeing more death around me. I know I have to get some way of handling death.
Maybe a spiritual path.
Something.
Or I will lose my mind with the grief.

So you see Jay, you are not alone in this struggle.
I hold you gently in my mind on this Sunday morning.

 

(((Jay))) (nm)

Posted by PhoenixGirl on September 12, 2004, at 10:23:10

In reply to Re: Anyone here lost a child and/or spouse?, posted by Jai Narayan on September 12, 2004, at 8:33:07

 

Re: jay..

Posted by sexylexy on September 13, 2004, at 12:21:21

In reply to jay.., posted by justyourlaugh on September 11, 2004, at 19:31:56

Hi All,
I have not had the death of a spouse or child but was touch by you alls strenght to be able to write and carry one about these things. I just wanted to commend you and know that yoiur strenght carries to others in need.

Lexy


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