Posted by jay on September 11, 2004, at 8:41:40
Sorry I've been writing vague and such posts...but it's all linked to this time of year. I am coming up on the anniversary, and every year it's just not pretty. The other thing is...I have a *problem* even speaking about what happened to me...it's like I can't bring myself to say the words. It's like when I do bring myself to words...it just hammers it home again..and that becomes such a painful place to go. But I also feel the need to get out so much of what is in me...through words, music, poetry, as they seem the most powerful.
Having said that, I am pretty heavily medicated, (5 meds..not *that* much..I guess..) and that provides an "occasional" floor for me to stand on. (Touch wood) Beyond that though....I am really lost....I really am. I am trying to somehow rebuild a life, but it's a lot of blood, sweat, and tears. Somedays I feel like I am 100 years old.
Jay
poster:jay
thread:389577
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040907/msgs/389577.html