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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by cubic_me on May 14, 2004, at 19:40:22
I'm exhausted, fed-up, with no energy or desire to do anything but curl up in my dark room and fade away. I look ok, I act ok, I do all the things that 'normal' people do - I take care of my appearance when I'm seeing people, I keep my room in reasonable order, I get my assignments in on time and laugh when I'm supposed to laugh. But it's so lonely; when nobody really knows. I know it's 'just' another depression to ride through, I've been having them since I was 13 or 14, I should be used to it by now, but it still hurts so much. How many times can you go round in the same circle before you decide to escape? I'm still trying all the 'proper' ways to escape the cycle, but there's got to be a point where its time to give up - where the pain isn't worth the gain any more.
Don't worry, I'm not about to jump out of a 20th storey window, I can never get the courage in the end anyway. In the end I'll still be here, still hiding, still alone.
Posted by gardenergirl on May 14, 2004, at 20:17:46
In reply to I'm exhausted.., posted by cubic_me on May 14, 2004, at 19:40:22
Posted by DaisyM on May 14, 2004, at 23:25:20
In reply to I'm exhausted.., posted by cubic_me on May 14, 2004, at 19:40:22
Your words are powerful. You describe exactly how I feel today. I'm sick of myself and sick of feeling like this. I need my joy back.
There was a point today where I could actually feel myself trying to get away from me. Like part of me was saying, "enough with the gloom already!" It actually got a little freaky for awhile.
You are definately NOT alone.
Posted by B2chica on May 15, 2004, at 17:28:51
In reply to I'm exhausted.., posted by cubic_me on May 14, 2004, at 19:40:22
Your description hit right on today. I finally got up and out of bed about an hour ago. I got up about 11:30 ate some cereal, took my pills (four hours late) then layed down and listed to radio, fell asleep sometime and woke up about 4:00. all i've wanted to do today is "curl up and fade away".
last night i had to put on the "act". since my hospitalization my family watches me so d@mn closely, if i act even a little tired they start freaking out and acting wierd around me. so i sucked it up and tried to act ~chipper~ lastnight. sometimes that's harder than the dang depression!
i think you said it best with this:
>i laugh when I'm supposed to laugh. But it's so lonely; when nobody really knows.
Very Powerful statement cubic_me.
i understand.
B2c.
This is the end of the thread.
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