Posted by cubic_me on May 14, 2004, at 19:40:22
I'm exhausted, fed-up, with no energy or desire to do anything but curl up in my dark room and fade away. I look ok, I act ok, I do all the things that 'normal' people do - I take care of my appearance when I'm seeing people, I keep my room in reasonable order, I get my assignments in on time and laugh when I'm supposed to laugh. But it's so lonely; when nobody really knows. I know it's 'just' another depression to ride through, I've been having them since I was 13 or 14, I should be used to it by now, but it still hurts so much. How many times can you go round in the same circle before you decide to escape? I'm still trying all the 'proper' ways to escape the cycle, but there's got to be a point where its time to give up - where the pain isn't worth the gain any more.
Don't worry, I'm not about to jump out of a 20th storey window, I can never get the courage in the end anyway. In the end I'll still be here, still hiding, still alone.
poster:cubic_me
thread:346942
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040507/msgs/346942.html