![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by wendy b. on June 11, 2002, at 15:01:18
Does anyone else know how this feels?
I've been lying here for 2 days, not able to work. If I don't work, I don't get paid. So that just adds to the anxiety...
And since we discussed the intricacies of Beardy's colonic experiences (youch!), I will venture to discuss my particular malady: hemorrhoids! Yeeeouch! again. And how do I spell it? Had to check the tube of ointment that stops the swelling. But it ain't working.
Yesterday, I saw the nurse practitioner (couldn't get in with one of the drs in the practice), and she examined me (how em-bare-ass-ing!) and said they did have blood clots in them, in medical-speak: they had 'thrombosed'. She was going to send me along home with the usual: drink the methylcellulose (Cirtrucel), use the cream, also suppositories, sitz baths, etc. I told her I had been doing all of it for 5 days already, with no relief, and I am in terrible pain. Also told her about the work situation, and she ultimately said it could be operated on to relieve the pain (although that itself would be very painful). But the family practice I go to could not do the surgery (I thought minor surgery was often done in dr's offices? is it a new thing that they don't? maybe a liability issue?)
More pain in the ass: no surgeon in the town I live in takes my insurance, which has been quite acceptable to 99% of the other practitioners here... So had to sit at the computer (ouch! and Ouch! right now, too) and check surgeons who take the insurance in the region. I called one in the next large town over, they said they could see me in a week and a half. So no go. Finally called my OB/GYN in that same town, cried that no one could see me, could my Dr please help? And he got me in to see a surgeon there, very nice of him. So they set me up for a procedure tomorrow.
But lying here for two days (I have taken many breaks from writing this to go lie down) has got me so depressed. The reasons I got the hemorrhoids in the first place were because of a lot of stress last week, which caused the constipation (the Neurontin also doesn't help, I think), which then caused enough pressure to make the hemorrhoids appear. And I think, what was I stressed about?
The list:
Lots of difficult classes to teach (I substitute teach, the children in each class were particularly nutty, lots of kids with ADD or autism are mainstreamed into regular classes).
Trying to break off a relationship that is not working out.
Being chewed out by my daughter's social studies teacher, because I had the audacity to critique the actor from the local theater who was teaching the kids in a special program in which they produced a play.
Trying for a month to get my shrink, the expert witness in an ADA lawsuit against my former employer, to fax an assessment of my disability to my lawyer, then:
seeing my lawyer about the case, and finding out from the lawyer that the shrink did a horrible job on the assessment of my psychological health. She had to answer questions re: my disability, very specific questions put to her by my lawyer, and she is such a flake, she did a very marginally acceptable job. I was horrified and then angry and then confused...
I suppose this last one was the kicker. So I lie here and wonder what's going on... Am I difficult to deal with? Is it everybody else? My interactions with others seem marred somehow. I feel abandoned by everyone, even the shrink, now, too. There is no one who cares enough about me to actually HELP me. The shrink said (before the meeting with the lawyer) that she sensed hostility in my tone at group the night before... I know this must have something to do with my bipolar, and I was certainly struggling with sleep last week... in the daytime I was tired, at night I was feeling hypomanic. The clock was just off.
So now I feel horrible, in pain, blaming myself for what are, of course, partially other people's issues. And I take them so badly, and felt so particularly hurt by the therapist's inability to help me with this lawsuit that could ostensibly bring me a large settlement... Why would she muddle it up so much? Simply a flake? or is there hostility on her part, too? Why would she be so late with the report, number one, and why didn't she answer the questions as they were put to her? If she had had a problem, why couldn't she have called me or the lawyer? Why this one-page, single-spaced monologue about me, not even signed, not using the language that would help me win the case?
But I have to get off my seat, just rambling now... Thoughts, comments, other ramblings and experiences welcome...
Wendy
Posted by beardedlady on June 11, 2002, at 15:12:12
In reply to Physical pain exacerbating emotional pain, posted by wendy b. on June 11, 2002, at 15:01:18
Yes. But your first course of action should be with your therapist. Have you called to explain to her how important it was that she do that form correctly? 'Cause I'd chew her a new one.
I have had the physical and mental stuff gang up on me before (recently, even). The most reassuring things I can say are these two truths I know: This, too, shall pass. And people are stupid.
This phase will soon be over, and you will be back to being as normal a you as possible. And no, you are probably not that difficult to deal with. I say this all the time! I think that it must be me because everyone can't be so stupid. But everyone is. And that will never change.
I wish you luck. Sorry I was not of more help.
beardy : )>
Posted by judy1 on June 11, 2002, at 15:53:50
In reply to Physical pain exacerbating emotional pain, posted by wendy b. on June 11, 2002, at 15:01:18
When I read your post I was struck how overwhelmed you must feel- which only makes it more difficult to sort things out. It sounds as if your biggest priority is to get the suit under control- even under the best circumstances litigation drags on and with an unsupportive shrink- well that's worse. If your attorney is accustomed to these types of suits, then he can recommend someone (an expert witness type of shrink) to review your records and write the proper documents you need to win your case. Is he a contingency or fee- paid attorney? I think once the financial problems are under control you'll be able to deal with the other issues. BTW- I went the SSDI route, hired an attorney who specialized in those matters and was approved in a little over 2 months- with a very large check that covered the previous year and now monthly checks. Is this something you can consider? I know there is a 1 year restriction with ADA suits- how long has it been? Hopefully the medication you were given will start to work soon and you won't be in so much discomfort. Take care, Judy
Posted by SusanG on June 11, 2002, at 15:56:41
In reply to Physical pain exacerbating emotional pain, posted by wendy b. on June 11, 2002, at 15:01:18
Wendy, I wish I had more words of encouragement but I wanted to let you know that my husband works in the field of worker's comp and he reviews cases all the time where doctors have done horrible jobs of documenting or explaining a patient's situation. He regularly curses them (the docs) for the incomplete, vague or just plain poorly written reports. Not that this excuses it, but I thought that it would help to know that it isn't just your doctor who is bad at paperwork. I hope things get better for you soon.
Sue
Posted by mair on June 11, 2002, at 18:30:50
In reply to Physical pain exacerbating emotional pain, posted by wendy b. on June 11, 2002, at 15:01:18
Wendy
Bummer )-:
I agree with beardy - the first thing to do (after you get your medical situation squared away of course), is to deal with the shrink. I'd ask your attorney whether this is a conversation you should have or he/she should. If it's your conversation, you need to have your attorney make it absolutely clear to you specifically how the report is deficient - and what she could do to make it better. Maybe she should have a direct discussion with your attorney. It's critical that she understand what is needed AND that she communicate with you and your attorney honestly and quickly if she can't say what you need her to say. Maybe there are limitations to what she can say, but it sounds like she's been pretty vague on this. Obviously the hostility issue needs to be addressed, but I doubt it has much to do with the lawsuit and she should understand that it's the lawsuit that needs to be dealt with preeminently.
Anyone would be overwelmed in your circumstances, and I think you have enough perspective to see that regardless of your mood, things do need to get done. It sounds like the shrink is deflecting attention here or using this opportunity to raise other issues that she thinks are legit - there's a time and place for everything - but not now in this context.
Mair
Posted by beardedlady on June 11, 2002, at 18:40:42
In reply to Re: Physical pain exacerbating emotional pain » wendy b., posted by mair on June 11, 2002, at 18:30:50
Posted by wendy b. on June 11, 2002, at 19:46:01
In reply to Re: Physical pain exacerbating emotional pain » wendy b., posted by judy1 on June 11, 2002, at 15:53:50
Hi Judy and others kind enough to write,
The case is against my former employer for wrongful termination; they did this after I came back from a two-month disability leave, went straight for the jugular. My boss and other employees (at her bidding) did everything possible to make life miserable when I returned, and I was already an anxious, depressd mess. This was two years ago already, that's how slowly these cases move through court.
The shrink had two months to write up the report. By the time we wrenched it out of her, we were already in trouble with the court because it was so late. The when we got it, it was barely useable. So the lawyer had to appear *the next morning* with the document before a federal magistrate, who was already going to chew him out because of the lateness. He told me we looked unprofessional and stupid because of her.
Someone asked if she could just do it over... The problem with having her re-do it is that, if she does that, and we submit a second one, to the court and to the other side, when (if?) we get in front of a jury, the other side will look at the two reports and ask her if she had been coached by my lawyer for specific types of answers, on the stand she'd have to say yes to a question like that. See what I mean? I asked this same question of the lawyer, and he's a whiz at cases like these (has argued over 300 federal cases). My feeling is that we'd maybe be able to ask her for an addendum, or an ammended report.
The only thing I can think, if I am gracious, is that she had absolutely no idea how important this was... I was so angry last week, now I am just sad, because I am afraid we just lost it. How can I talk to her about this? What can I say? This thing is now getting in the middle of our relationship, something I'm sure she never wanted, I certainly didn't. But why did she say yes, she'd write it, if she couldn't do it on time or correctly?
The lawyer doesn't want to alienate her now, since she is the expert witness we picked in the first place (on my recommendation, and at her agreement). If we SWITCH expert witnesses, it just looks like we didn't get the answers we wanted from the first one, if you see what I mean.
Thank you all for the suggestions, I am wondering what to do now. I cancelled group and individual sessions this week because of the 'rrhoids. Good excuse, I didn't want to even look at her, thought I would break down and appear weak, and I absolutely hate that... I don't want to cry, just want to scream at her.
Thanks again, to all,
Wendy
Posted by susan C on June 11, 2002, at 20:02:01
In reply to Re: not an SSDI case, posted by wendy b. on June 11, 2002, at 19:46:01
your attorney, it is to 'handle' things like this. the statement, that is, and whether and how to handle the poor quality, or change or what what what. Talk to him. It's his job, imho.
tell him mouse sent you
Posted by beardedlady on June 11, 2002, at 20:18:23
In reply to there is a reason you are paying, posted by susan C on June 11, 2002, at 20:02:01
In addition to the first? That way it'll may look even better.
beardy
Posted by judy1 on June 12, 2002, at 0:33:27
In reply to Re: not an SSDI case, posted by wendy b. on June 11, 2002, at 19:46:01
I have a better picture of what's going on now, thank you. It sounds as if you have an expert attorney and if he agrees with your suggestion of getting an addendum (in a timely matter!) from your shrink then that is the probably the proper way to go. Have you had disagreements with her before? If you have, are they especially difficult for you? I ask because I have approached 'breaking up' with my shrink several times and felt sick about it- and EACH time we were able to work things out and come out with a stronger relationship. I think you probably need her now more than ever, not only for the report but for emotional support. Hopefully you will find the strength to convey to her exactly what you did to us- write it out if you feel you can't say it. I'm sure she cares about you and will do what will help you the most. A strange coincidence- I am going through litigation also (very different than your case) we are suing several parties who committed fraud in selling us our house. It really has been a year of hell, I had no experience with litigation until now- and I have really needed the support of my shrink and psychologist. It has taken several reminders to both of them to give some paperwork to my attorney- nothing as involved as your case- but it is stressful to keep asking. They both apologize and tell me how busy they are and I know that is true. Just a thought, my attorney called my shrink- can your attorney contact her directly and say exactly what he needs and when (I think mouse suggested that also). Take care of yourself- Judy
Posted by mair on June 12, 2002, at 6:54:59
In reply to can you get a second expert witness? » susan C, posted by beardedlady on June 11, 2002, at 20:18:23
Wendy
I think you should talk to your attorney about this - it certainly is done quite alot, very frequently because you don't get as strong a statement as you'd like from the first expert. It may also help impress upon your shrink how truly important it is what is said and how it is said.
I think the other issue (your relationship with your shrink) - is a very important one, but I think I need to ponder that one a bit more.
Good luck with your "procedure" - I'll be thinking about you.
Mair
Posted by wendy b. on June 12, 2002, at 7:28:19
In reply to Re: can you get a second expert witness?, posted by mair on June 12, 2002, at 6:54:59
...who answered or asked questions, I am about to go to the surgeon this morning, but when I get back I will try to answer your questions, if I can sit. Please know that you have been such a solace to me, and that Zo wrote to me off-board (she is still here!!), so everyone is, as usual, keeping the support alive. Quite the group! I appreciate it more than I can say...
love,
Wendy
Posted by Krazy Kat on June 12, 2002, at 9:35:39
In reply to Re: everyone..., posted by wendy b. on June 12, 2002, at 7:28:19
i'm sorry i missed this and haven't been on.
re: the hemm-o-roids. I have had these. Suppositories did help me after a few days so i find a concern with the fact that they haven't helped you at all.
it's a legtimate health issue, and i'm sure men have No problem discussing it openly with colleagues.
there's a pillow one can buy to help alleviate the pain, isn't there? boy, your kids would love that one...
i'm sorry you're going through all of this.
- kk
Posted by Phil on June 12, 2002, at 17:45:47
In reply to Physical pain exacerbating emotional pain, posted by wendy b. on June 11, 2002, at 15:01:18
I got h. when I was 20, I think. Working for a home builder lifting bags of concrete, etc. I don't know if that caused it or stress.
One day I woke to find I couldn't stand up or sit down, PAIN! Went to the doc who cut out the blood clot..the shot was quite memorable. I think I left his office with a Kotex on my butt and a prayer in my head that I wouldn't need to #2 for a few weeks.
Side note: Why do doctors say, take a look at that and it's in your face. No thanks doc, you enjoy this, I don't want to know.
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. Good luck with all your stuff going on. Really..
Posted by wendy b. on June 12, 2002, at 22:38:08
In reply to Re: Physical pain exacerbating emotional pain » wendy b., posted by Phil on June 12, 2002, at 17:45:47
... the procedure today went ok, the surgeon didn't hurt my ass any more than it already did. It certainly is one of those weird situations life throws at you to bare yourself to a cute man you've never met before, so they can take care of your rear...
It's funny how many people say: OH, I've had those! when you tell them about it... Which actually is nice, they commiserate, and you both talk about theirs and yours. They don't say: OH, yuk! can we talk about something else besides your rectum?
You know?
Posted by Phil on June 13, 2002, at 7:04:34
In reply to Re: Phil, thanks... , posted by wendy b. on June 12, 2002, at 22:38:08
Sometimes sharing these stories of hemorrhoids and the like can be real thread-stoppers.
Butt hey, it's real life.Phil
Posted by kpo2002 on July 30, 2002, at 12:52:40
In reply to Re: Physical pain exacerbating emotional pain » wendy b., posted by beardedlady on June 11, 2002, at 15:12:12
Dear Wendy, I know all about lying in bed with chronic pain and being stressed out about becoming homeless.
See my postings at Psycho-Babble, search "neuropathic pain".
After being in blinding pain for more than a year I developed explosive diarrhea for a year.
Now it seems that I have irritable bowel syndrome, I haven't had a normal bowel movement in over three years.
There are some "for sure" cures for constipation, but you have to use them BEFORE the problem becomes horrendous.
First off, Drink lots of water!
Prune juice and prunes. Keep them on hand at all times. Baby food pureed prunes are good too.
Make stewed prunes. Cover prunes completely with water, then add another half inch of water and simmer them for 5-10 minutes. Turn off the stove, check to see that there is adequate liquid, put the lid on and let them sit for another 15-20 minutes.
Eat 5 the first day, and if that doesn't work eat 10 the next day.
Watermelon, and I don't mean 1 piece. Eat 1/4 of a watermelon for dinner and I guarantee you that you will be shitting like crazy within 24 hours.
As a prophylactic you may consider having 3 stewed prunes or 1 piece of watermelon EVERY DAY to prevent constipation from occurring.
Now here are some other options:
Metamucil. I find that if you use this stuff every day it eventually causes constipation. How about using it once or twice a week?
Enemas. they are available over-the-counter, Fleet are common and cheap. they come in a water version or a mineral oil version.
Fat Free Snack foods containing Olestra, the non-digestible fat. For me a stack of Pringles about an inch and a half high did the trick.
If all else fails, get some rubber gloves and stick a finger up your ass and manually dig the stuff out.
Do your suppositories have steriods in them?
Steroids are very effective in reducing inflammation, but after a week or two they actually cause thinning of the skin or membranes.Do not go have surgery unless all else fails!
I was horribly injured during a surgical procedure and I came out 10,000 times worse than I went in -- AND I'M NOT EXAGGERATING.
Posted by kpo2002 on July 30, 2002, at 13:22:18
In reply to Re: Stress and constipation--Wendy B., posted by kpo2002 on July 30, 2002, at 12:52:40
I just read the entire thread and found that you have had your surgery over a month ago. I hope all is well and that you don't have to have any more surgeries.
One time I save someone's life by applying pressure to his asshole for an hour and a half.
The guy had had hemorrhoid surgery a week before and apparently they had cut an artery or the vein hadn't been sutured properly--who knows?
Anyway I had just completed an EMT course and was doing volunteer work at the ER and we had to go get this guy who said that he was just walking down the street and felt something warm running down his leg. He was shocked to find out that it was blood. Well, we went and got him and took him to Osan Air Base in Korea and discovered that it was pretty serious so they decided to send him to the big Army hospital in Seoul. I had to spend an hour and a half convincing that guy that I wasn't going to let him bleed to death.
After hemorrhoid surgery do you have to go on a special diet? Like-stop eating so that you don't have to shit for awhile? Or a liquid diet? Jello, Ensure, Slim Fast?
I realize that your legal battles may be very stressful, but maybe you can do something to ease the stress of your job, like reassessing your teaching methods, making games out of some of the lessons. Or, if you are only going to be somewhere some day, straying completely from the protocol and asking the students what they want to do that day. (Unless of course you are teaching Algebra)
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.