![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by tabitha on June 11, 2002, at 1:47:24
Whole load of upset today, not sure what to do with it. Triggered by some specific things I think...
1) an email to a friend that wasn't answered (yet), worrying I said too much, or said strange things, will seem "crazy", etc.
2) sat next to some people at an informal meeting at work, hoping to chat with them, but they were caught up with each other and I ended up feeling ignored, then stupid for wanting (and failing) to connect with them
3) upset about once again being nearly overwhelmed by upset, after a while of having it easier.
4) upset about not knowing how to cope with being upset.
Posted by tabitha on June 11, 2002, at 5:09:44
In reply to Upset and confused, again, posted by tabitha on June 11, 2002, at 1:47:24
3 AM, the only one here, answering myself. Sigh. Feeling the drop into depression.
Really, the last couple weeks, I noticed some old hypomania markers: buying new colors of lipstick.
suddenly very interested in thinking about god again. new odd ideas, e.g. convinced the key to happiness was every day telling myself this was a perfect day. it really seemed to work. I could feel the beauty of each day, even if it was a "bad" day. hypersocial. obsessing about people.It's been so long since an upswing, I thought it was some new (true) happiness. I was convinced I could make it last by hanging onto the mindset, the new ideas about happiness. Now depression is coming back, happiness evaporating. My hypersocial behavior just seems embarassing. How could I be fooled AGAIN? Having thought it was some real happiness makes the evaporation unbearable.
Where's the comfort? Call up the doctor for an adjustment? That's not comforting. Just endure and wait for another change? That's not comforting. I'm tired of this stuff. It just feels unbearable.
Posted by Penny on June 11, 2002, at 7:43:02
In reply to AAargh, horrible pit, moodswing?, posted by tabitha on June 11, 2002, at 5:09:44
>My hypersocial behavior just seems embarassing. How could I be fooled AGAIN? Having thought it was some real happiness makes the evaporation unbearable.
Ah...I know what you mean. My dx is not bpII, but mood disorders - not otherwise specified, which means I too have ups and downs, though my ups don't usually quite qualify for hypomania...
But, I know what you mean. Was going through a mildly hypomanic episode just recently and feeling 'great' and was afraid it would go away, but my pdoc said to enjoy it. And I did...and then it went away. Just went through another 'up' moment just before my job interview on Friday, but by Friday night was already heading downhill again. And I tried just 'accepting' the good feelings, not questioning them, etc. But it didn't last...
But I guess what I want to say to you is you do have to look at these brief moments of feeling good as what they are in the moment...you did feel happy. So what if it's labeled 'hypomania'? The label doesn't make the feelings any less real...
Wish I could give you some sage advice on how to find true happiness, but I'm looking for that myself, and feeling sucked into the pit. So know that I am thinking of you.
> Where's the comfort? Call up the doctor for an adjustment? That's not comforting. Just endure and wait for another change? That's not comforting. I'm tired of this stuff. It just feels unbearable.
I agree...unbearable is the perfect word. But, they tell me, it is bearable, it just hurts. Everyone on this board understands...we've all been there, and some of us (like me) are currently there. You're not alone...
Penny
Posted by tabitha on June 12, 2002, at 1:46:32
In reply to Re: AAargh, horrible pit, moodswing?, posted by Penny on June 11, 2002, at 7:43:02
Penny,
Thanks so much for your reply. It really was helpful.
I suppose wanting to hang onto the ups is a setup for disappointment. It's just so hard feeling I don't have much control over my own happiness, you know? Ugh.
Here's a moodswing emoticon:
:-) ... :-( ... :-) ... :-( ... :-) ... :-( ...
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.