Posted by tabitha on June 11, 2002, at 5:09:44
In reply to Upset and confused, again, posted by tabitha on June 11, 2002, at 1:47:24
3 AM, the only one here, answering myself. Sigh. Feeling the drop into depression.
Really, the last couple weeks, I noticed some old hypomania markers: buying new colors of lipstick.
suddenly very interested in thinking about god again. new odd ideas, e.g. convinced the key to happiness was every day telling myself this was a perfect day. it really seemed to work. I could feel the beauty of each day, even if it was a "bad" day. hypersocial. obsessing about people.It's been so long since an upswing, I thought it was some new (true) happiness. I was convinced I could make it last by hanging onto the mindset, the new ideas about happiness. Now depression is coming back, happiness evaporating. My hypersocial behavior just seems embarassing. How could I be fooled AGAIN? Having thought it was some real happiness makes the evaporation unbearable.
Where's the comfort? Call up the doctor for an adjustment? That's not comforting. Just endure and wait for another change? That's not comforting. I'm tired of this stuff. It just feels unbearable.
poster:tabitha
thread:25217
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020531/msgs/25219.html