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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 32. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pedr on January 8, 2002, at 9:06:53
I hold irrational distorted beliefs about becoming severely depressed which my psychologist believes are a fundamental obstruction to me getting better. I often believe that should I be tired, hungover, hungry, bored or have nothing planned to do, I will get severe, life-threatening depression.
This is a bit of a catch-66 situation because I already have severe depression which I struggle with daily. My psychologist calls these convictions regarding sinking into a worse depression a "double depression" or "depression about depression" and maintains that challenging these irrational convictions is key to me getting better.
I fanatically obeyed these beliefs [e.g. made sure I was never ever hungry, always went to bed early, desperately attempted to avoid boredom] for 5 years before seeking help and beginning to challenge them over the last 3 years. Successful challenging still eludes me and I got even more depressed this Christmas due to fear of boredom during all the free time that goes with it.
Does anyone else hold similar irrational fears about situations/activities that exacerbate depression? Does anyone have any advice regarding challenging beliefs like these? I currently am doing REBT [a form of psychotherapy] and take reboxetine.
Many thanks in advance,
pete.
Posted by sid on January 8, 2002, at 10:16:57
In reply to fear of depression, posted by pedr on January 8, 2002, at 9:06:53
I am now out of major depression, and I am very afraid of it coming back. However, CBT has given me tools and confidence in myself to recognize the signs of it and to act so as to avoid relapses. Perhaps my fear made my major depression last longer, I am not sure... but you need to trust yourself better. Boredom and depression are very different. Perhaps you can learn to rationalize oyur fear better. Everybody gets bored from time to time. Not everybody gets depression; there is no link between the two. Have you tried CBT ?
> I hold irrational distorted beliefs about becoming severely depressed which my psychologist believes are a fundamental obstruction to me getting better. I often believe that should I be tired, hungover, hungry, bored or have nothing planned to do, I will get severe, life-threatening depression.
>
> This is a bit of a catch-66 situation because I already have severe depression which I struggle with daily. My psychologist calls these convictions regarding sinking into a worse depression a "double depression" or "depression about depression" and maintains that challenging these irrational convictions is key to me getting better.
>
> I fanatically obeyed these beliefs [e.g. made sure I was never ever hungry, always went to bed early, desperately attempted to avoid boredom] for 5 years before seeking help and beginning to challenge them over the last 3 years. Successful challenging still eludes me and I got even more depressed this Christmas due to fear of boredom during all the free time that goes with it.
>
> Does anyone else hold similar irrational fears about situations/activities that exacerbate depression? Does anyone have any advice regarding challenging beliefs like these? I currently am doing REBT [a form of psychotherapy] and take reboxetine.
>
> Many thanks in advance,
> pete.
Posted by pedr on January 8, 2002, at 10:49:06
In reply to Re: fear of depression, posted by sid on January 8, 2002, at 10:16:57
> I am now out of major depression, and I am very afraid of it coming back. However, CBT has given me tools and confidence in myself to recognize the signs of it and to act so as to avoid relapses. Perhaps my fear made my major depression last longer, I am not sure... but you need to trust yourself better. Boredom and depression are very different. Perhaps you can learn to rationalize oyur fear better. Everybody gets bored from time to time. Not everybody gets depression; there is no link between the two. Have you tried CBT ?
>Hi Sid,
Thanks for the reply. I have had lengthy [20 weeks or so] periods of CBT and CAT [cognitive analytical therapy]. I've had limited success so far - my core beliefs and fears and the resulting depression persist. I'm beginning to think that trying different drugs is my best bet.B.T.W I contest that there is a link between boredom and depression, the link being that if you are depressed, it is generally in your interest to avoid being bored - being bored can often lead to melancholy thinking.
Either way, I just hope that something helps me out of this hole.
Posted by sid on January 8, 2002, at 11:18:06
In reply to Re: fear of depression, posted by pedr on January 8, 2002, at 10:49:06
When I had major depression I was always bored. Life istelf bored me. Now boredom is not a problem because if I am bored in a given situation, then I do something about it and that's the end of it. So if you're out of depression, you'll have some "normal" boredom from time to time, you just won't stay in it. That's why I don't think that boredom causes depression. Of course, if you are already depressed, it can make it harder because you don't cope with it as well, i.e., you might be stuck in it. Deal with the depression, there'll be a lot less boredom I think. And then normal boredom shouldn't be a problem.
> > I am now out of major depression, and I am very afraid of it coming back. However, CBT has given me tools and confidence in myself to recognize the signs of it and to act so as to avoid relapses. Perhaps my fear made my major depression last longer, I am not sure... but you need to trust yourself better. Boredom and depression are very different. Perhaps you can learn to rationalize oyur fear better. Everybody gets bored from time to time. Not everybody gets depression; there is no link between the two. Have you tried CBT ?
> >
>
> Hi Sid,
> Thanks for the reply. I have had lengthy [20 weeks or so] periods of CBT and CAT [cognitive analytical therapy]. I've had limited success so far - my core beliefs and fears and the resulting depression persist. I'm beginning to think that trying different drugs is my best bet.
>
> B.T.W I contest that there is a link between boredom and depression, the link being that if you are depressed, it is generally in your interest to avoid being bored - being bored can often lead to melancholy thinking.
>
> Either way, I just hope that something helps me out of this hole.
Posted by sid on January 8, 2002, at 11:25:09
In reply to Re: fear of depression » pedr, posted by sid on January 8, 2002, at 11:18:06
I read our messages again, and I guess we agree. If you have depression, then avoiding boredom might help - I agree. However I htink that if you don't have depression, then boredom is not a problem because you deal with it in an efficient manner.
Depression is scary, but it can help change one's life in order to improve it in the long run. Changes are usually needed to get rid of the depression (e,g,. taking a less stressful job) and the quality of life can be improved thereafter. It might not always be the case, but in retrospect, my depression helped me put some order in my life - I'm not finished doing that, but clearly, many things have changed.
> When I had major depression I was always bored. Life istelf bored me. Now boredom is not a problem because if I am bored in a given situation, then I do something about it and that's the end of it. So if you're out of depression, you'll have some "normal" boredom from time to time, you just won't stay in it. That's why I don't think that boredom causes depression. Of course, if you are already depressed, it can make it harder because you don't cope with it as well, i.e., you might be stuck in it. Deal with the depression, there'll be a lot less boredom I think. And then normal boredom shouldn't be a problem.
>
> > > I am now out of major depression, and I am very afraid of it coming back. However, CBT has given me tools and confidence in myself to recognize the signs of it and to act so as to avoid relapses. Perhaps my fear made my major depression last longer, I am not sure... but you need to trust yourself better. Boredom and depression are very different. Perhaps you can learn to rationalize oyur fear better. Everybody gets bored from time to time. Not everybody gets depression; there is no link between the two. Have you tried CBT ?
> > >
> >
> > Hi Sid,
> > Thanks for the reply. I have had lengthy [20 weeks or so] periods of CBT and CAT [cognitive analytical therapy]. I've had limited success so far - my core beliefs and fears and the resulting depression persist. I'm beginning to think that trying different drugs is my best bet.
> >
> > B.T.W I contest that there is a link between boredom and depression, the link being that if you are depressed, it is generally in your interest to avoid being bored - being bored can often lead to melancholy thinking.
> >
> > Either way, I just hope that something helps me out of this hole.
Posted by mist on January 8, 2002, at 13:14:18
In reply to fear of depression, posted by pedr on January 8, 2002, at 9:06:53
pedr,
Those conditions you mentioned (boredom, especially) might exacerbate your depression. I don't see your fear that they will as necessarily unrealistic. I think the key is to resolve the depression (easier said than done in many cases, of course). In the meantime, I think it's wise to get out and do things when you're fearing you'll be too bored. Even walking or going to a store or seeing a movie. This is sometimes easier said than done, too, for a depressed person. But I've found it has more often than not (although not in every instance) made a difference for me. -mist
> I hold irrational distorted beliefs about becoming severely depressed which my psychologist believes are a fundamental obstruction to me getting better. I often believe that should I be tired, hungover, hungry, bored or have nothing planned to do, I will get severe, life-threatening depression.
>
> This is a bit of a catch-66 situation because I already have severe depression which I struggle with daily. My psychologist calls these convictions regarding sinking into a worse depression a "double depression" or "depression about depression" and maintains that challenging these irrational convictions is key to me getting better.
>
> I fanatically obeyed these beliefs [e.g. made sure I was never ever hungry, always went to bed early, desperately attempted to avoid boredom] for 5 years before seeking help and beginning to challenge them over the last 3 years. Successful challenging still eludes me and I got even more depressed this Christmas due to fear of boredom during all the free time that goes with it.
>
> Does anyone else hold similar irrational fears about situations/activities that exacerbate depression? Does anyone have any advice regarding challenging beliefs like these? I currently am doing REBT [a form of psychotherapy] and take reboxetine.
>
> Many thanks in advance,
> pete.
Posted by IsoM on January 8, 2002, at 13:41:12
In reply to Re: fear of depression » pedr, posted by mist on January 8, 2002, at 13:14:18
pedr, I'm like sid. When I'm depressed I'm bored. When I feel good, I'm never bored.
Trouble is when I'm depressed even trying to do what I know is interesting to me normally, I can't bring up the feeling. I try to read what I love to read (science journals) & nothing makes sense or sticks with me. If I try to garden, I do a bit & feel exhausted. Even my music which lifts my spiritis to the heavens sounds trite to me. Even delicious food tastes flat. Doesn't matter what I attempt - it's all pointless & bleak.
Intellectually, I realise at the time that it's just my emotions speaking, but I still can't fake the enjoyment at all. I'll lay in bed watching the trees sway in the breeze & birds swooping about, & it all does nothing for me. I almost hate myself at those times for being so black & bleak.
Posted by ELA on January 8, 2002, at 14:35:14
In reply to fear of depression, posted by pedr on January 8, 2002, at 9:06:53
Hi Pete,
I've recently been put on antidepressants following a serious illness which left me shocked, withdrawn and unable to cope with daily life again. I was very sceptical at first thinking that crying all the time for no reason and withdrawing into myself wasn't "proper" depression - ie, suicidal thoughts, no support/friends/family etc.
However, I am learning that this is not the case and that even though my depression is relatively mild compared to many others, it is by no means not a real illness. Everyone experiences things in different ways and depression is no different.
I'm lucky that I've got great mates around me so I'm starting to get through this. I am only 20 and nowhere remotely near an expert but I reckon that a good place to start for you would be to remember that we are in dividual and, therefore, our reactions to and experiences of things are often very different. This site is brilliant, I can't begin to say how much it has helped me and I've only been using it for about a week!
The way I think of it is that if I want to run around laughing insanely one day and having a good time then I can and it doesn't mean that I'm not depressed anymore. And also that just because I'm not sitting in dark rooms with dark thoughts doesn't mean that I'm not depressed either.
Good luck, hope it gets easier for you.
Emma.
Posted by Noa on January 8, 2002, at 19:07:45
In reply to fear of depression, posted by pedr on January 8, 2002, at 9:06:53
I had a bad case of anxiety about depression when I first starting feeling better after a horrible episode of depression. I still fear it, but not so much, and am able to experience occasional depression or bad day or low mood without going into a panic about losing all the remission and becoming depressed again forever.
It has taken time and therapy.
Posted by Noa on January 8, 2002, at 19:11:45
In reply to Re: fear of depression - OK!, posted by sid on January 8, 2002, at 11:25:09
I think that boredom is a problem if one tends to see it as about themselves, as opposed to seeing it as situational and separate from themselves.
Posted by Noa on January 8, 2002, at 19:23:27
In reply to Re: fear of depression » pedr, posted by ELA on January 8, 2002, at 14:35:14
I think that cognitive approaches in therapy can really help with this, BUT, I think that this needs longer term therapy than is sometimes offered with cognitive therapy. I have been in therapy for years, and the cbt strategies do help, but wouldn't have if I were only in treatment for short term therapy. My therapist uses CBT approaches, but not exclusively.
I think my learning to deal with the fear of depression also meant learning to accept that there are some bad days, low moods, etc.
AND, to learn to understand the causes of some low moods, bad days. For example, if I haven't gotten myself to sleep at a reasonable hour, I am very grumpy in the morning. When I was in that fearful-of-depression phase, those grumpy moods really scared me--felt like the deprssion was returning. But slowly I am learning to draw different conclusions--I ask myself, ok, I'm grumpy, what is going on? Did I get enough sleep? is there some other reason, etc.? What can I do about it? Does it have to mean that the depression is back?
And to realize that people who arent' depressed have grumpy moods and bad days, too.
The panic about becoming depressied was potentially pretty paralizing for me. My therapist helped a lot--with the strategies I mentioned, but also with helping me to learn to not see it as so black and white, all or nothing--ie, depressed or not depressed.
Posted by sid on January 8, 2002, at 19:47:43
In reply to Re: fear of depression, posted by Noa on January 8, 2002, at 19:07:45
It's taken me close to 6 years to get to a point where I talk about my major depression in past tenses, and where I don't cry with terror each time I talk about it. Man, depression is a test of patience!
> I had a bad case of anxiety about depression when I first starting feeling better after a horrible episode of depression. I still fear it, but not so much, and am able to experience occasional depression or bad day or low mood without going into a panic about losing all the remission and becoming depressed again forever.
>
> It has taken time and therapy.
Posted by sid on January 8, 2002, at 19:54:18
In reply to Re: fear of depression, posted by Noa on January 8, 2002, at 19:23:27
I know what you mean. I am taking meds for dysthymia, and 2 days ago I didn't feel good. I wanted to stop taking the meds or change to another, I was scared because I felt better with dysthymia but without the meds, and so I felt I needed to change something... It took a day for me to realize it was PMS and in 3 days everything would be OK. We are too aware of our moods perhaps after all this?
I also had longer term therapy, mixed with CBT. I may go back later on in my life, but for now I cannot stand telling my life to another human being who takes notes while I talk. It helped a lot, but it's time for me to live and stop talking and thinking about perhaps finally living some day.
> I think that cognitive approaches in therapy can really help with this, BUT, I think that this needs longer term therapy than is sometimes offered with cognitive therapy. I have been in therapy for years, and the cbt strategies do help, but wouldn't have if I were only in treatment for short term therapy. My therapist uses CBT approaches, but not exclusively.
>
> I think my learning to deal with the fear of depression also meant learning to accept that there are some bad days, low moods, etc.
>
> AND, to learn to understand the causes of some low moods, bad days. For example, if I haven't gotten myself to sleep at a reasonable hour, I am very grumpy in the morning. When I was in that fearful-of-depression phase, those grumpy moods really scared me--felt like the deprssion was returning. But slowly I am learning to draw different conclusions--I ask myself, ok, I'm grumpy, what is going on? Did I get enough sleep? is there some other reason, etc.? What can I do about it? Does it have to mean that the depression is back?
>
> And to realize that people who arent' depressed have grumpy moods and bad days, too.
>
> The panic about becoming depressied was potentially pretty paralizing for me. My therapist helped a lot--with the strategies I mentioned, but also with helping me to learn to not see it as so black and white, all or nothing--ie, depressed or not depressed.
Posted by Noa on January 8, 2002, at 20:06:21
In reply to Re: fear of depression » Noa, posted by sid on January 8, 2002, at 19:54:18
Takes notes while you talk????
After the first few interviews, I would be really turned off if my therapist took notes!
Glad you are feeling better.
Posted by sid on January 8, 2002, at 20:11:38
In reply to Re: fear of depression » sid, posted by Noa on January 8, 2002, at 20:06:21
I must say I'd have to do it too. Seeing 5+ people a day, 5 days a week, I'd forget who said what when. So it was not a problem for me. But I've enough of it for now !
> Takes notes while you talk????
>
> After the first few interviews, I would be really turned off if my therapist took notes!
>
> Glad you are feeling better.
Posted by Dinah on January 8, 2002, at 20:19:19
In reply to Re: fear of depression » sid, posted by Noa on January 8, 2002, at 20:06:21
> Takes notes while you talk????
>
> After the first few interviews, I would be really turned off if my therapist took notes!
>
You have a therapist who doesn't take notes?!! Lucky you. It's always distracting when they pick up that pen. Why did they choose to write THAT down?
Posted by Krazy Kat on January 9, 2002, at 6:53:10
In reply to fear of depression, posted by pedr on January 8, 2002, at 9:06:53
Yes, absolutely. There is a fear about getting better - life changes, it doesn't necessarily change completely for the better. And there is a fear about falling into yet another depression - I just discussed this with my husband last night.
I think you could benefit from a stabilizer - it not only helped my mood, but helped with my OCD, which this could be a mild form of. Basically, it helped my thought patterns be more literal, gave me more control. Maybe even a small amount...
Otherwise, as Noa says, it takes time, and, for me, the realization that I'm never going to completely escape depression (or mania), but I can learn how to recognize it better, and handle it better.
- KK
Posted by pedr on January 9, 2002, at 8:33:24
In reply to Re: fear of depression » pedr, posted by Krazy Kat on January 9, 2002, at 6:53:10
> Yes, absolutely. There is a fear about getting better - life changes, it doesn't necessarily change completely for the better. And there is a fear about falling into yet another depression - I just discussed this with my husband last night.
>
> I think you could benefit from a stabilizer - it not only helped my mood, but helped with my OCD, which this could be a mild form of. Basically, it helped my thought patterns be more literal, gave me more control. Maybe even a small amount...
>
> Otherwise, as Noa says, it takes time, and, for me, the realization that I'm never going to completely escape depression (or mania), but I can learn how to recognize it better, and handle it better.
>
> - KKThanks everyone for your input. I think mist is correct that getting out and about can help when you're feeling really depressed. The problem with me is that my brain turns this helpful suggestion [it's good to get out and about when low] into a massive, terrifying threat [I must go out or I will become suicidally depressed]. It's really demoralizing because this threat [and other similar ones] often makes my free time difficult to bear.
Sid, I really envy you in that you can look back on depression in that fashion, that is a position I often dream of. You're living evidence that it can be done. I bet it took a tremendous amount of effort, stamina and tolerance - good work fella.
Kat, my diagnosis is chronic major depression - I don't have any manic episodes. So as far as I'm aware, a mood stabilizer probably isn't appropriate. That's not to say I won't try mood stabilizers if I'm prescribed them, I'll try anything that may help.
Thanks again all,
pete.
Posted by bonnie_ann on January 9, 2002, at 15:47:44
In reply to Re: fear of depression » pedr, posted by Krazy Kat on January 9, 2002, at 6:53:10
I don't know for sure that I had a depressive episode or not. But I do fear returning to my previous state of anxiety. I am very aware of my body and PMS has gotten worse than better on meds.
Or at least I blame it on that - I have no idea.
We all have bad days, bad thoughts, bad feelings.
Everyone has them - they just let them flow in and out and don't suck them in and try to figure out every possible way that this has to be a return of their depression/anxiety. They just come and go- it's your brain that's telling you it's something to fear, we all know there's nothing to fear. You can choose to listen to it or you can say no, not today, I'm just having a bad day. I'll be feel better later or tommorrow or in a couple of days. It's Ok and I'm Ok.
Bonnie
Posted by Mair on January 9, 2002, at 16:00:32
In reply to Re: fear of depression, posted by pedr on January 9, 2002, at 8:33:24
Pete - I, too, suffer from chronic major depression and was recently started on a mood stabiliser. I think they are now used with unipolar depressions as well. I can't say I've been on it long enough to know whether it's making a difference.
Alot of my depression has been guilt about having depression and self criticism for not getting over it more quickly. It's led to this theory of mine, that my therapist keeps trying to debunk, that I perpetuate my own depressions - somehow if I really wanted to and really tried to, I could get rid of it. Sometimes I've even wondered if I'm like those misguided girls in colonial Salem - so bored that depression for me is like witchcraft was for them.
If anything has perpetuated my depression it's fear of taking risks or fear of the unknown. I don't quit my job because my depression and its anxiety component make me feel like I can't do anything else or wouldn't be able to convince anyone to hire me, but staying in my job perpetuates my depression because it's filled with depression triggers. Additionally, although i live with some level of depression all the time, the fear of sinking into a really deep one is always there.
As for taking notes - my therapist never did and I was always amazed by her ability to remember things. However i did go through a really awful period almost a year ago, the result of which is that she started wanting to see me twice a week and she started taking copious notes. Since she's writing all the time, i don't wonder so much about why she's choosing to write about one thing or the other. I think mostly she's writing what i say so she can throw it back up at me later. It can be disconderting but i'm pretty used to it now.
Mair
Posted by sid on January 9, 2002, at 17:08:51
In reply to Re: fear of depression » Noa, posted by Dinah on January 8, 2002, at 20:19:19
I used to ask: why us THAT more interesting than my previous sentence? How about I take notes when YOU talk?
I had several (did a few 12-weeks CBT therapies plus longer-term), and only 1 of them did not take notes. He could remember too, that was impressive.
> > Takes notes while you talk????
> >
> > After the first few interviews, I would be really turned off if my therapist took notes!
> >
> You have a therapist who doesn't take notes?!! Lucky you. It's always distracting when they pick up that pen. Why did they choose to write THAT down?
Posted by sid on January 9, 2002, at 17:17:57
In reply to Re: fear of depression, posted by pedr on January 9, 2002, at 8:33:24
> Sid, I really envy you in that you can look back on depression in that fashion, that is a position I often dream of. You're living evidence that it can be done. I bet it took a tremendous amount of effort, stamina and tolerance - good work fella.
I am very happy to be at this point. I still have to deal with dysthymia, but I never knew better so far in my adult life, so it's nothing like major depression. It took several years and I was out of patience many times, finding it unfair that I had to make so many efforts just to be able to get up in the morning and not be disappointed to do so. I used to wake up and think: oh no, not another day! Many times I was desperate and thought I'd never get out of this spiral, but somehow, I did. It has been very hard, so I do understand when I read about impatience, helplessness, etc. And I feel for you all. I hope we all get back to some more normal state some day, including getting rid of dysthymia in my case. That would be something. The unfair thing is that our lives are somewhat consumed by this disease; we put lots of time, money and efforts on this, while we could be happier and more productive doing other things. That REALLY sucks. Also, one thing I have not made my peace with yet, is that I wasted my 20's to depression. It's a time of life biolding, experiences, etc., it's gone, and I could not have a normal life. I got a PhD out of this part of my life, but that's it, I didn't have much fun. Better than nothing at all, but I'm somewhat embittered by the fact. Anyway, I hope my future is better, that's all I can hope for.
Wew. There's something off my chest.
Posted by sid on January 9, 2002, at 17:19:16
In reply to Re: fear of depression, posted by bonnie_ann on January 9, 2002, at 15:47:44
If you're in your early 30's. PMS might have gone worse without the meds. For women with PMS, 30-40 years old seems to be the worse.
> I don't know for sure that I had a depressive episode or not. But I do fear returning to my previous state of anxiety. I am very aware of my body and PMS has gotten worse than better on meds.
> Or at least I blame it on that - I have no idea.
> We all have bad days, bad thoughts, bad feelings.
> Everyone has them - they just let them flow in and out and don't suck them in and try to figure out every possible way that this has to be a return of their depression/anxiety. They just come and go- it's your brain that's telling you it's something to fear, we all know there's nothing to fear. You can choose to listen to it or you can say no, not today, I'm just having a bad day. I'll be feel better later or tommorrow or in a couple of days. It's Ok and I'm Ok.
> Bonnie
Posted by Anna Laura on January 10, 2002, at 0:26:14
In reply to fear of depression, posted by pedr on January 8, 2002, at 9:06:53
> I hold irrational distorted beliefs about becoming severely depressed which my psychologist believes are a fundamental obstruction to me getting better. I often believe that should I be tired, hungover, hungry, bored or have nothing planned to do, I will get severe, life-threatening depression.
>Pedro, are you taking meds ?
I've had CBT for two years but it helped just a little. Later on i found out that the medication i was taking (imipramine, brand name Tofranil)
caused cognitive impairment. Took me some time to get rid of that : the effect persisted even when i quit the drug. The cognitive/intellectual clouding impaired self-interrogation and stress managing strategies; i thought it was my fault and felt guilty because of that.
May be you should look for the right drug FIRST of all. Your fear might be a symptom of residual depression also as well as obsessive thinking somehow related with anxiety. If you honestly feel you can't control it, you should get drug treatment first. If i were you i'd look for a drug which doesn't cause cognitive impairment.Good luck
Anna Laura
Posted by sid on January 10, 2002, at 0:37:51
In reply to Re: fear of depression: drug treatment needed?, posted by Anna Laura on January 10, 2002, at 0:26:14
Anna Laura, how do you know which drug causes cognitive impairment ? Is it written on the RxList web site for example? I am not sure what to look for, after reading your message.
> > I hold irrational distorted beliefs about becoming severely depressed which my psychologist believes are a fundamental obstruction to me getting better. I often believe that should I be tired, hungover, hungry, bored or have nothing planned to do, I will get severe, life-threatening depression.
> >
>
> Pedro, are you taking meds ?
> I've had CBT for two years but it helped just a little. Later on i found out that the medication i was taking (imipramine, brand name Tofranil)
> caused cognitive impairment. Took me some time to get rid of that : the effect persisted even when i quit the drug. The cognitive/intellectual clouding impaired self-interrogation and stress managing strategies; i thought it was my fault and felt guilty because of that.
> May be you should look for the right drug FIRST of all. Your fear might be a symptom of residual depression also as well as obsessive thinking somehow related with anxiety. If you honestly feel you can't control it, you should get drug treatment first. If i were you i'd look for a drug which doesn't cause cognitive impairment.
>
> Good luck
>
> Anna Laura
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