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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by deerock on September 19, 2009, at 22:02:22
hi there everyone,
i randomly decided to search for my therapist on facebook. she always makes it a strict point not to answer any personal questions. i know nothing about her. i think all i know for sure is that she has a psyd and is trained in analysis and i know her name. lol. oh and her car.
anyways, her facebook profile is not set to private. and she has 200 photos. there are photos of her at some concert. she has 2 drinks in her hands, one in each. she is wearing tie dyed shirts, her boyfriend or husband is playing guitar. her daughter, i believe, is one of her friends. her alma mater is listed in her info page.
none of this info really matters. its like who cares if she drinks or goes to concerts or wears clothing that hippies wear. but somehow, it does change things. she seems happy in the photos. that kind of made me jealous. i want to be happy too. i think i am some of the time these days.
ill be sure to tell her all of this. it is just really weird. i feel like something changed. she isnt my therapist anymore. she's someone just like me, fumbling their way through life. yet her seeming happy in the photos and surrounded by friends makes me feel like she has something i dont. but that isnt true either.
thanks for listening.
Posted by annierose on September 19, 2009, at 22:13:07
In reply to found out some info on my T via facebook, posted by deerock on September 19, 2009, at 22:02:22
I do think it is alarming (maybe that is too strong of a word) surprising that she would not set her page to private. I am not a facebook person, but my daughter is. And no one can see her page unless she friends them (i.e. wants them to see her page). You would think, a therapist, would make sure her page would be private.
I wonder what Freud would say about this ...
But I agree, it would change your dynamic with her ... at least in the short term. As time goes on, it will probably diminish in importance. You got this sneak peek into her life and it's a little awkward. My t shares extremely little private information. And the few times she does tell me something random, it is weird. So I know what you mean.
I often tell my t, as much as I wish I knew more about her, I'm glad I don't.
Posted by deerock on September 19, 2009, at 22:20:37
In reply to Re: found out some info on my T via facebook, posted by annierose on September 19, 2009, at 22:13:07
i wonder what freud would say too. this is interesting. i bet she has no idea she even needs to set privacy preferences. she may feel bad.
i remember i found out some other thing about her online, she has a part time job at a local university as a counselor. she was surprised but acted like she wasnt. it was not easy to find out. but i was able to guess based on a parking permit on her car. lol. and when i went to the school website, i searched the staff directory for her name and sure enough, she is a therapist for the students there. again, no big deal, but i get curious, i learn, and i then im like oh no, i dont want to know this stuff. lol.
this facebook stuff along with one time where she no showed to 2 appointments in a row because she was too sick for her alarm to wake her up. she didnt show. didnt call. told me next appointment, sorry, the truth is my alarm did not wake me up. im not perfect but sh*t, if i dont show up to work bec. my alarm didnt wake me up, im fired.
ill talk to her about all this stuff. she needs to call her therapist for a consult.
Posted by emilyp on September 19, 2009, at 23:10:42
In reply to found out some info on my T via facebook, posted by deerock on September 19, 2009, at 22:02:22
Perhaps if learning about your therapist is uncomfortable for you or makes you feel that your relationship has changed, perhaps it is not in your best interest to seek out such information out. I am not saying such information is not of interest. But if it is going to affect your relationship, perhaps it is not worth knowing
Posted by deerock on September 19, 2009, at 23:19:11
In reply to Re: found out some info on my T via facebook, posted by emilyp on September 19, 2009, at 23:10:42
perhaps. perhaps if i knew how to behave in a manner that honored the best interests of maintaining a healthy relationship all of the time, perhaps i would not be in a therapists office, perhaps.
Posted by deerock on September 19, 2009, at 23:56:20
In reply to Re: found out some info on my T via facebook, posted by emilyp on September 19, 2009, at 23:10:42
emily, sorry about that message. it was rude.
i know i should not be looking up information on her if its going to have a negative impact. your pointing that out made me feel defensive because i know i shouldnt have done it and i did it anyways.
Posted by seldomseen on September 20, 2009, at 7:57:44
In reply to Re: found out some info on my T via facebook, posted by emilyp on September 19, 2009, at 23:10:42
I think it is just human nature to be curious about people with whom we spend our time and share intimacy. It's like the infamous "wet paint" sign. We've just got to touch it.
IMO Gathering the information is not that bad, but what we do with that information is the key.
Everything I've garnered about my therapist, I've brought into therapy, we've talked about my perceptions of it. It has driven more than one very productive therapy session.
I've often wondered what I would do if I came across evidence of legal actions, disciplinary actions etc... brought against my therapist. All I can say is that, well, that's something I *definately* would want to know.
Posted by emilyp on September 20, 2009, at 10:15:50
In reply to Re: found out some info on my T via facebook » emilyp, posted by deerock on September 19, 2009, at 23:56:20
Perhaps my message was a bit curt. I just was trying to help. I also know from other posts that you have struggled in therapy. I just want it to be a productive act on your part, not something that gets diminished by something like Facebook. But don't get my wrong, I understand the interest in it.
Posted by Phillipa on September 20, 2009, at 12:38:46
In reply to Re: found out some info on my T via facebook » emilyp, posted by seldomseen on September 20, 2009, at 7:57:44
Found out on just plain old google my old pdoc had been investigated by FBI for bilking insurance companies, distributing controlled meds illegally, files taken mine also at the time. He won still practicing. Thankfully wasn't seeing him anymore. Phillipa so it happens and he did psychotheraphy. Hence my hesitation on most docs and therapists. Now wondering if last one I had here is on there.
Posted by Dinah on September 20, 2009, at 12:46:18
In reply to found out some info on my T via facebook, posted by deerock on September 19, 2009, at 22:02:22
My therapist knows I google him occasionally. Not as often now as I once did. He thinks it's normal enough for clients to do that. It's hard to imagine any therapist isn't aware that their clients are likely to do this in this day and age. But earlier, before it googling someone became such a common term as it is now, my therapist was glad I told him about his online presence.
He also thinks that when people take psychotherapy as their vocation, they give up some things that other people might take for granted. And one of those things is to act in public (including online, which now is part of any person's public life) without first thinking of how it might affect clients, either current or potential ones, and how others might view them.
It's your therapist's responsibility to be discreet, according to my therapist. It's part of the costs that come with the benefits of being a therapist.
Posted by elizabeth31 on September 20, 2009, at 15:03:08
In reply to Re: found out some info on my T via facebook » deerock, posted by Dinah on September 20, 2009, at 12:46:18
Posted by elizabeth31 on September 20, 2009, at 15:04:31
In reply to Re: found out some info on my T via facebook (nm), posted by elizabeth31 on September 20, 2009, at 15:03:08
That's an interesting point you raised in this subject--its become such a strange dynamic with personal boundaries online with more and more people using face book/twitter etc. I am guessing your therapist probably doesn't know anything about like how to set the privacy pages and like most people new to those sites maybe she doesn't really get all the rules that the younger generation people who grew up online know automatically. It's just my guess!
I was wondering if you could better explain the feelings you said you felt when seeing the pictures of your therapist having a real life in public--I would try not to look at this as a "bad" thing that you found this information out (as all of us would probably have done the same thing!) I think you could use this as an opportunity to further grow in therapy with your therapist-- she'll be able to show you through her behavior how to correctly go about handling this slightly uncomfortable topic with her--you should definitely keep us updated and hope youre feeling better :)
Posted by deerock on September 20, 2009, at 15:24:27
In reply to Re: found out some info on my T via facebook, posted by elizabeth31 on September 20, 2009, at 15:04:31
the system was not allowing me to post for some reason.
i think you are right. she did not know how to set the privacy settings. i will certainly explain.
and i do think this is fertile ground for work in therapy. i look forward to what i can learn when we talk about the feelings that came up.
thanks for your support and everyone else too!
Posted by elizabeth31 on September 20, 2009, at 15:39:34
In reply to Re: found out some info on my T via facebook » elizabeth31, posted by deerock on September 20, 2009, at 15:24:27
PS--I just thought I'd admit and come clean to confess that I too after reading your post just tried to facebook search for my own therapist...i didn't find anything though! hahaha:)
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