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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by orchid on August 12, 2005, at 18:36:19
I always feel I am in search of something.. but I never understand what it is that I long for..
I have thought of all the possibilities, and yet none of it seems to satisfy me.
Is it the love of a guy who understands me, and whom I love? I don't know.. I have thought of that possibility, but I think it is not true..
Is it some wisdom or understanding of life - I don't know what I am missing..
Is it God? I am religious and I know enough about God..
Is it work - I have a very good job, and I am quite capable of doing many things..
Is it money - I have money for myself for atleast a few years..
Is it fame? - No. I don't want it.
I don't know what I am searching for.. but yet everyday, there is this restless searching for soemthig and trying to figure something out.. and I don't understand what I am trying to figure out. I do know quite a bit aobut life and its fundas etc..
Can anyone help me out?
Posted by orchid on August 12, 2005, at 18:59:03
In reply to I am always in search of something .. what is it?, posted by orchid on August 12, 2005, at 18:36:19
Does anyone feel like this?
Posted by orchid on August 12, 2005, at 19:41:16
In reply to Does this make sense to anyone? what I am saying? » orchid, posted by orchid on August 12, 2005, at 18:59:03
I think the problem is that I end up thinking way too much everyday.
I think that is why in the mornings I have so much of anxiety because my thougts are so very high.. I think too many things.
And by evening, it all becomes a complicated web, and I have to sort it out.. and next morning it starts again.
But I don't know how to stop my thinking..
And I ended up reading too much about everything I suppose, and I have too much of information, and I don't know what to do with it.
Plus I have a very high IQ - 136 - 137, and I think that just makes my thinking speed too much. And it makes me quite very unhappy.
I just don't know how to be happy.. Can anyone teach me some simple trick?
I have really tried my best.
Posted by orchid on August 12, 2005, at 20:06:44
In reply to I think too much. And I have information pollution » orchid, posted by orchid on August 12, 2005, at 19:41:16
I hope the above doesn't look like boasting.
I am not.
It really is very painful for me to not be able to be simple and happy and contended which is what I want the most.
And it is so frustrating to not be able to be like that. :-(
What is the use of knowing anything if you don't know how to be happy and peaceful :-( I wish soemone will teach me taht supposedly simple thing.
Posted by orchid on August 12, 2005, at 20:37:19
In reply to Re: I think too much. And I have information pollution » orchid, posted by orchid on August 12, 2005, at 20:06:44
You guys here know how my emotions work..
Can anyone tell me what I am doing wrong?
Posted by Tamar on August 12, 2005, at 20:42:52
In reply to I am always in search of something .. what is it?, posted by orchid on August 12, 2005, at 18:36:19
Hi Orchid,
I'm still getting used to your new name! I like it a lot, though...
I looked at your list and I noticed that you seemed to reject all the possibilities outright, except the first one:
> Is it the love of a guy who understands me, and whom I love? I don't know.. I have thought of that possibility, but I think it is not true..
On that one you seem less certain. So I suspect that there’s the thing you’re looking for, or some variation of it.
I think everybody wants love. And for those who were hurt in childhood, there’s often a desire for a perfect love that transcends the usual love of a man for a woman.
My husband loves me, but he doesn’t entirely understand me and there are limits to his love (it would be a serious problem for him if I had a gambling addiction or a substance abuse problem). He doesn’t love me unconditionally; it’s not possible for him.
I want to be loved with the sort of love that people say can only come from God. In fact, I think part of my transference was a God transference. If only my therapist could have been a deity…
Maybe you’re looking for the kind of absolute acceptance that is only truly possible in infancy?
If so, it's not impossible to be happy. I think contentment is about finding ways to enjoy what we have left after grieving what we've lost, if that makes sense.
Tamar
Posted by orchid on August 12, 2005, at 20:59:13
In reply to Re: I am always in search of something .. what is it? » orchid, posted by Tamar on August 12, 2005, at 20:42:52
Thanks Tamar..
I laughed when I read your part about God Transference and wishing that your T was a deity.
Maybe what you are saying is true.. Maybe I keep longing for that ultimate acceptance and love from a guy. And it is probably not going to happen. And I do feel like a child a lot and am probably looking for a father figure.. But even when I was in India at my home with my dad when I was young, I had this same restless feeling. AT that time I thought once I find my guy, this will go away. But it never did.
Maybe I am not even looking for that unconditional acceptance, but more like a validation..
My husband loves me, but he doesn't know half of me. My dad understands me, but he doesn't know how to give me that kind of validation, and I don't want it from him either.
Perhaps that is what I longed for so much with my ex ex T. And I think he was not capable of that much understanding or giving me that validation.
Thanks for your thoughts..
> Hi Orchid,
>
> I'm still getting used to your new name! I like it a lot, though...
>
> I looked at your list and I noticed that you seemed to reject all the possibilities outright, except the first one:
>
> > Is it the love of a guy who understands me, and whom I love? I don't know.. I have thought of that possibility, but I think it is not true..
>
> On that one you seem less certain. So I suspect that there’s the thing you’re looking for, or some variation of it.
>
> I think everybody wants love. And for those who were hurt in childhood, there’s often a desire for a perfect love that transcends the usual love of a man for a woman.
>
> My husband loves me, but he doesn’t entirely understand me and there are limits to his love (it would be a serious problem for him if I had a gambling addiction or a substance abuse problem). He doesn’t love me unconditionally; it’s not possible for him.
>
> I want to be loved with the sort of love that people say can only come from God. In fact, I think part of my transference was a God transference. If only my therapist could have been a deity…
>
> Maybe you’re looking for the kind of absolute acceptance that is only truly possible in infancy?
>
> If so, it's not impossible to be happy. I think contentment is about finding ways to enjoy what we have left after grieving what we've lost, if that makes sense.
>
> Tamar
>
>
>
Posted by happyflower on August 13, 2005, at 2:47:34
In reply to I think too much. And I have information pollution » orchid, posted by orchid on August 12, 2005, at 19:41:16
> I think the problem is that I end up thinking way too much everyday.
>
> I think that is why in the mornings I have so much of anxiety because my thougts are so very high.. I think too many things.
>
Hi Orchid!One day on Oprah, they talked about this book called Women Who Think Too Much. It is about how some women
"over think", and what to do about it. I don't remember the author though. I sometimes overthink too and is seems like a whole day will go by with me doing nothing but thinking! And it isn't like all that thinking is solving much either! Drives me crazy!
Posted by orchid on August 15, 2005, at 16:06:00
In reply to Re: I think too much. And I have information pollution, posted by happyflower on August 13, 2005, at 2:47:34
Yeah.. actually it is not even over thinking.. it is mostly rumination.
But I also over think. I am trying to not do that anymore.
Thanks HF.
Posted by B2chica on August 16, 2005, at 10:27:10
In reply to Re: I think too much. And I have information pollution » happyflower, posted by orchid on August 15, 2005, at 16:06:00
hey Orchid.
i too overthink and ruminate. unfortunately, i'm so desperately frustrated my thoughts of unsatisfaction lead to the transendence of death. it feels to me that this wheel of humanity has me trapped and tied down. limited to societal entrapments. that the possiblities that i long for are not so much out of reach but blocked by human needs and functions.i hope your thoughts are not so much creating despair, but maybe a confusion of sorts.
try to focus your thoughts to a problem that needs to be solved or focus in on one of your many thoughts.
i'm afraid i'm not so much help but i do very much sympathize with you. my iq is slightly above average as well (so i'm told) but i feel dumb as a stump. it literally makes me cry at times at the thought of how much i really don't know. people just don't get it. you see these people walking around with their degrees thinking they are so smart. they're not. infact their quite ignorant and what makes them so is their illusion of what they know and their oblivion to what they don't.
sorry, didn't mean to go on.
best wishes.
b2c.
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