Posted by Tamar on August 12, 2005, at 20:42:52
In reply to I am always in search of something .. what is it?, posted by orchid on August 12, 2005, at 18:36:19
Hi Orchid,
I'm still getting used to your new name! I like it a lot, though...
I looked at your list and I noticed that you seemed to reject all the possibilities outright, except the first one:
> Is it the love of a guy who understands me, and whom I love? I don't know.. I have thought of that possibility, but I think it is not true..
On that one you seem less certain. So I suspect that there’s the thing you’re looking for, or some variation of it.
I think everybody wants love. And for those who were hurt in childhood, there’s often a desire for a perfect love that transcends the usual love of a man for a woman.
My husband loves me, but he doesn’t entirely understand me and there are limits to his love (it would be a serious problem for him if I had a gambling addiction or a substance abuse problem). He doesn’t love me unconditionally; it’s not possible for him.
I want to be loved with the sort of love that people say can only come from God. In fact, I think part of my transference was a God transference. If only my therapist could have been a deity…
Maybe you’re looking for the kind of absolute acceptance that is only truly possible in infancy?
If so, it's not impossible to be happy. I think contentment is about finding ways to enjoy what we have left after grieving what we've lost, if that makes sense.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:540862
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050801/msgs/540886.html