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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Dinah on June 10, 2005, at 18:16:00
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 18:10:04
I don't think he'll judge you harshly for that at all.
If you don't know what you want, that's the perfect time to talk about it. I don't need to talk about it when I'm happy with where I am.
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 18:22:02
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy? » happyflower, posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 18:11:58
You know Pinkeye, I DID respond to your post, I think first, but I forgot to put your name in the subject, lol Sorry! By the way thank you for sharing your religion story. I feel it is so incrediable on how honest of a person you are. You are truely a good model of a wonderful spirt. :)
Posted by Jazzed on June 10, 2005, at 18:23:33
In reply to Have you ever talked about religion in therapy?, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 17:23:31
Hi Happy,
Maybe you could ask your T if there are any subjects he's uncomfortable discussing with you, but like Dinah said it's about you, and what you need to discuss. I would think it comes up as often as sex. If he's religious, I'd think he'd welcome your questions, esp. if you told him you felt "like an outcast". I can't imagine that anyone with any faith would want you to feel that way. Your T wouldn't want to influence you, I"m sure, but talking it through is different.
If religion is something you feel the need for in your life, maybe you could do something to cultivate it. Maybe find where you fit/feel comfortable, and go for it. I think people come to it at all points in their lives. And, about personal feelings, sometimes I feel it's beyond my control. My feelings are sometimes really strong, and then they fade a bit, and then they aren't there much at all, and then they ....... I don't know why, but I have a guess there's a reason for that, though it's beyond me why.
How's that for talking in circles?!
Jazzy
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 18:25:54
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy? » happyflower, posted by daisym on June 10, 2005, at 18:15:07
Wow, talk about opposites! lol My husband grew up strick Catholic but because he got a divorse he isn't allowed to recieve communion. This is hurtful to him, so we tried Lutheren, which is very simular. But I don't know what I want to talk about other than I feel like I am missing something in my life because most people feel so passionate about it, I must be missing something.
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 18:41:41
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy? » happyflower, posted by Jazzed on June 10, 2005, at 18:23:33
If you were talking in circles maybe that why I understand you so much because my mind is going in circles! lol :)
Posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 18:44:46
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy? » pinkeye, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 18:22:02
> You know Pinkeye, I DID respond to your post, I think first, but I forgot to put your name in the subject, lol Sorry! By the way thank you for sharing your religion story. I feel it is so incrediable on how honest of a person you are. You are truely a good model of a wonderful spirt. :)
Ok :-). It feels good to be appreciated. But I don't think I am worthy of it. I am not a good model. I suffer too much and am an unhappy person. That is the proof something is very wrong with me. A person can say all the right things, but ultimately if that person is not happy, then there is something wrong basically. I don't understand what is so wrong with me and why I am not such a happy person, but I know there is something very basically wrong. And regarding honesty, why would I want to lie in an anonymous chat room? For that matter I don't really lie in real world also, but more so in the anonymity why would I want to not be 100 % honest? It won't help me right? That is why I try to tell everything as it is. ATleast in real world if people are not honest, there is some value in it - to pretend you are a great person when you are actually a jerk. But in anonymity I figured I might as well be what I really am for the most part.
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 18:56:30
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy? » happyflower, posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 18:44:46
I am sorry if I hit a nerve with you, pinkeye! Well I like you and if what I see is your honest self, then I think you are a good person, I am sure others here will agree. (and I am not talking out my a$$. :) I think the fact that you KNOW the right things, and help others, makes you a good model. I wish I could say something to make you happy, but I know that comes from within yourself. But you know what, I think you will be totally happy someday and I am going to wait here until it happens, because I know you have the potential. Yesterday I heard a great tape called, Warming the Stone Child. And this women said some of the greatest healers of other people come from people who have suffered the most in there life. I think you could become a great healer someday. I know you must think I am totally nuts, but this is how I feel about you. You have helped me so much already.
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 19:11:11
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy?, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 18:56:30
Posted by LadyBug on June 10, 2005, at 19:15:17
In reply to Have you ever talked about religion in therapy?, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 17:23:31
Yes I have.
It was brought up at our first meeting, but only by me. She just smiled. So I had no idea what her religious beliefs were. As time went on it was common to both of us that we were of the same religion. That has helped me a lot. I asked her if it was ok if I talk about religious matters and her answer was "it's your therapy, you talk about what ever youd like." So though it's not the foundation of our work, it helps me to know she has the same beliefs that I do. We often say we will see each other after this life and we won't have to be as therapy/patient. Maybe we could be friends??!!??!! Just dreaming. Our relationship is eternal, she tells me. I love my T. She is awesome!!!
LadyBug
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 19:36:14
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy, posted by LadyBug on June 10, 2005, at 19:15:17
We often say we will see each other after this life and we won't have to be as therapy/patient. Maybe we could be friends??!!??!! Just dreaming. Our relationship is eternal, she tells me. I love my T. She is awesome!!!
Your T sounds so warm and wonderful, I want to be her friend too! How long have you seen her?
Posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 20:11:15
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy?, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 18:56:30
Thanks for the warm words. They mean a lot.
I also hope someday I will be able to be fully happy and that I could be useful to whatever extent possible for me. I don't know what to do though to get there. And I am not very good in talking and don't have too much charisma or anything in real life and I feel very embarrassed to talk in public. I think those are very essential if you want to help people.
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 20:23:59
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy? » happyflower, posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 20:11:15
You know I don't if this will happen to you, but it happened to me. I don't know if you remember a couple of months ago when my T used EMDR on me and it uncovered some terriable memories that I have stuffed inside of me that I had to finally deal with. It was hell, so painful. But I have healed a part of me that I didn't even know that needed healed. Well after that, I became happy really happy for the first time and then I became more socialable even to the check out ladies at the store. I am more open then ever before because I feel better.I have opened up even at this site, too. I used to be very shy. Maybe this might happen to you, I don't know for sure, but wouldn't it be great! I hope the best for you pinkeye! Even though we have never met, I feel like you could be a great friend IRL. :)
Posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 20:34:51
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy? » pinkeye, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 20:23:59
Can you elaborate more on EMDR? Woudl that magically make your painfulness go away? I have a lot of anger and guilt and hatred towards myself, and my T believes I am storing all that inside myself instead of showing it to my father. I have tried CBT, and I can't seem to be able to access these emotions and direct them towards my dad. I have read that EMDR is fast and quick way of getting traumas cured. What is it? Would you mind elaborating on what exactly you do in your therapy sessions? Also how long would it take - would it be useful if I can do it only for 2 months?
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 21:02:30
In reply to What is EMDR? » happyflower, posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 20:34:51
auugh, the pc ate my last very long message! Pinkeye, check out EMDR.com. It has all the infor you might need. Yes, it works fast and it is suppose to be more humain than exposure therapy. My T has treated sucessfully over 300 people with it and has been doing it for over 10 years.
What happened to me, has only happened to 2 other people that he has treated. Well it recovered a worse memory then what we were working on, later that night. It was the most emotional night I have ever had in my life. Well my husband was so worried he called my T the next morning after holding me crying for hours. My T had me come in that morning to calm me down. My T wants to do more EMDR work because it worked so well with me, but he is allowing me to trust him more and take it very slow. That was 2 months ago.EMDR is used for a lot of things so maybe it might help you too. Check it out. Any questions, please ask, it feel good to help you for once! lol
Posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 21:28:54
In reply to Re: What is EMDR? » pinkeye, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 21:02:30
Thanks HappyFlower for that info. I will check it out and ask my current T if she thinks it will be good for me.
Thanks for helping - you have helped me in many ways before as well.
Posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 22:36:06
In reply to Re: What is EMDR? » pinkeye, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 21:02:30
Is EMDR only for trauma? or PTSD? I don't think I have it - but maybe I had a mild form of continuous terrorized lifestyle in childhood and maybe when I first came to this country.
Do you think it might be worth exploring that option? How many sessions does it take? 8? Also how much do they charge? Is it generally covered in insurance?
But I have tried CBT for a long term, and beyond a point I am not able to change my emotions much with it. I have developed many coping techniques, but not able to change the way I feel that much really. I am wondering if this would be the magical solution I have been waiting for??
Posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 22:42:14
In reply to Is EMDR only for trauma? » happyflower, posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 22:36:06
Also happyflower - How many sessions did it take for you to overcome your PTSD?
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 23:01:13
In reply to Is EMDR only for trauma? » happyflower, posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 22:36:06
> Is EMDR only for trauma? or PTSD? I don't think I have it - but maybe I had a mild form of continuous terrorized lifestyle in childhood and maybe when I first came to this country.
EMDR is used for a lot of things. Some people in sports use it for enhancment, people use it to be more productive in their careers. EMDR is useful in very big tramas like war, Sept. 11th, seeing very distrubing things, etc. But in my case, I have what they call small tramas, but a lot of them. It is useful for emotional abuse, physical abuse and lots of things. I don't know what your abuse was that you suffered, but if you are using the word terrorized to discribe it, it doesn't matter how mild it may be, Abuse is still abuse even if something happens only once or is only emotional abuse. My T says emotional abuse hurts more sometimes than physical abuse. I don't remember if it was you or not, but didn't your dad say he was going to kill you or something?
>
> Do you think it might be worth exploring that option? How many sessions does it take? 8? Also how much do they charge? Is it generally covered in insurance?I think it wouldn't hurt looking into. I think the amount of sessions depends on what they are treating. Some people are helped even by one session.I am totally different now, even with one session. It is truely amazing. But I did come away from the session thinking nothing much happened. But the thing is that your mind will still process sometimes for a couple of days. Then BAM! My T is a clinical psycologist, PHD. who used EMDR with some patients. He charges the same as any appointment. My insurance covers it, but I don't know if it just catagorized as therapy or if he says it is EMDR. EMDR is just therapy you know! If you do decide to do this, be sure to go to someone who has been doing it for a long time who is very experienced in it. Ask you T about it . My T is mostly a cognative T, and he uses it as part of normal therapy. Good luck! Let me know how it goes if you decide to ask you T about it. You might even be surprised, she might do it already! lol
> But I have tried CBT for a long term, and beyond a point I am not able to change my emotions much with it. I have developed many coping techniques, but not able to change the way I feel that much really. I am wondering if this would be the magical solution I have been waiting for??I don't know what your exact issues are, but it might help, it isn't easy though. It has helped me and I am the biggest skeptic of anything! lol There are some good books out there too, about different case studies. I hope this might help you.
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 23:13:04
In reply to Re: Is EMDR only for trauma? » pinkeye, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 23:01:13
Okay, this is what my first session was about. I had to make a list of the worse memories I had about my childhood.
The first one which is what we used in my session was the time I over heard my parents talking one night in a hotel room that I was only conceived to prevent my dad from going to Vietnam. This was tramatic since I was only like 7 years old. Well as the session went on, I could remember more of that night, it was like I could see it happening all over again. Well I remembered my mothers evil laughter about it. Well that evil laughter triggered something later that night, that I won't go into, but it involved physical abuse. Well the buried memory that was recovered was that fact that I as physically abused, not just my brother who I knew was. I was suffering from PTSD because of current thing my mother was doing. I don't know if you remember the story, but she sent a unmarked package to my kids. She worked as a security guard at the mall. I was afraid she would abduct my kids. Well we were doing EMDR to desentize my mother so I wouldn't suffer any more symtoms of PTSD. Well it did work. I no longer am looking over my shoulder contantly to see if she in the same store, I don't have the bad nightmares, and basically feel much happier, less stress, etc. (increased sex drive, lol) He did other things as well too that helped. Well that is probably more than you wanted to know! lol I need to get to bed, so I will talk to ya later! :)
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 23:16:53
In reply to Re: Is EMDR only for trauma?, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 23:13:04
Posted by pinkeye on June 11, 2005, at 0:07:48
In reply to Re: Is EMDR only for trauma?, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 23:13:04
Thanks a lot HappyFlower. Yeah, it was me about the dad and killing and all that stuff. I have suffered lots of minor abuses in different forms too I guess. Maybe I should ask my T.
Also - how do you move your eyes? How is this different from CBT? If it is just moving my eyes, can I do it myself ?? (sorry if it sounds stupid). Does he guide you and ask you to move your eyes?
Maybe I will try to read more about this.
But thanks a lot for the response. I will try to read and ask my T. If the price is not much, maybe I can just give it a shot.
Posted by gardenergirl on June 11, 2005, at 0:23:17
In reply to Have you ever talked about religion in therapy?, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 17:23:31
What a coincidence. I just talked with a client about religion today. I don't often do that, as I am not a very religious person. Probalby only a handful of times has it come in my work.
But thanks for the reminder to be more mindful of this. Just because it's not a part of my life doesn't mean that it shouldn't be a topic for therapy for someone else.
gg
Posted by happyflower on June 11, 2005, at 0:26:49
In reply to Thanks a lot.. Do you have to move your eyes? » happyflower, posted by pinkeye on June 11, 2005, at 0:07:48
> Yeah, it was me about the dad and killing and all that stuff. I have suffered lots of minor abuses in different forms too I guess. Maybe I should ask my T.
Yes, yes and yes. I also think you underestimate your "minor" abuse. I guess it took me EMDR to admit to it myself, sorry if I am to blunt, but you have been abused. My T says that several minor abuses is even more tramatic than one big thing. I think EMDR would be worth a try.
>
> Also - how do you move your eyes? How is this different from CBT? If it is just moving my eyes, can I do it myself ?? (sorry if it sounds stupid). Does he guide you and ask you to move your eyes?Okay, here is the sexy part, just kidding, lol. He moves 2 fingers ( yes fingers) back in forth about 12 inches from your face, from side to side and you follow him with your eyes without moving your head. He told me that you can do it to yourself, after you have been trained. I am sure there is more to it than that, because he watches you very carefully for any changes in your body and facial expressions. He uses this to judge how long the eye movement takes. I don't know the specifics of it. For me, the less I know what he is doing the better, or I would be too self conscience. It isn't something you want to mess with. Did you read Shario thing about how she discoverd this?
I think CBT is still used in EMDR because you will process your memories for a correct thinking about them. Ask away! Does this help?
>
Posted by LadyBug on June 11, 2005, at 1:34:20
In reply to Have you ever talked about religion in therapy?, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 17:23:31
Happyflower;
I have been seeing my T for about 8 1/2 years now. It has been a journey.....hard, painful, but she's blessed my life with a lot of things. I've made her mad, she's made me mad, but somehow we have a gift of working things back into place. I think I've experienced every "normal" feeling there is in therapy. I'm in a good place right now and I hope I can stay there. I will screw things up down the road, I always do....but she forgives me and we learn from it. She is the best thing to have happened to me besides my kids. I'm not going every week right now because of a change in jobs and schedules, and I miss her. I've been going every 2 weeks and I hate it!! I do so much better when I can see her each week. I can call inbetween though. Wow what a long answer to just "how long have you been seeing her?" Sorry!!
LadyBug
Posted by happyflower on June 11, 2005, at 9:07:00
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy, posted by LadyBug on June 11, 2005, at 1:34:20
She sounds like a special person in your life, not just a T. I like to hear stories like yours, it makes me feel that T's can be real not fake. I am glad you are so happy and it seems like we learn about ourselves through " the relationship" with our T's. I am seeing my T every 2 week this month due to his vacation, and it is challenging for me because I like to see him weekly. But my appointment is Wed. and I have almost made it half way through June now. Whhheeewww!
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