![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 40. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 17:23:31
Or is a taboo subject for T's? I would like to talk to my T about the subject, but I suspect he is very relgious, and I don't want to offend him with my questions. In a way religion is more personal than sex. I didn't grow up with religion, I didn't grow up with any kind of anything good, so I feel like such a outcast. It seems like relgion is a thing you learn about from your family when you are young. It seems like people feel such an intense feeling of love from god, and I was wondering if you don't feel this, does it mean something bad, like you are going to hell, or is it that I just haven't learned? Any ideas? P.S. I warned you I have been over thinking this week!
Posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 17:43:24
In reply to Have you ever talked about religion in therapy?, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 17:23:31
I think T's may not comment much on their own relgiousness - but they may be able to help you with it if you bring it up.
I was brought up as an atheist for 25 years. But then I changed. And found it was very helpful for me to change. But now my father also changed to believe. I just cultivated all my religiousness myself (and from my husband - though he is extreme in his own way).
My T was a non religious person, but I felt it would have been good if he was a little bit more religious. I now feel if he was religious, he wouldn't have ended up terminating me so cruelly and cutting off all contact. Somehow he would have seen that it would have hurt me so much. I think when people tend to go by their own mind's power, they get misled many many times, and somehow this trust in God or something above helps you see the right things in the right way.
It is very highly personal and sensitive subject, and maybe you won't like my reply. It is just my personal opinion. And religious views can be cultivated at any time by ourself.
Btw, I am sorry for my above post in yoru thread - I think I may have ended up offending you or not understanding what you said aobut growing up beyond your husband.
Posted by Dinah on June 10, 2005, at 17:43:55
In reply to Have you ever talked about religion in therapy?, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 17:23:31
Yes, I have.
And more importantly, therapy is supposed to be guided by what is important for you to discuss. If you wish to discuss religion or spirituality, a therapist should ideally be able to talk to you about how to overcome your difficulties or reach what you want, regardless of their own religion or lack thereof.
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 18:00:56
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy? » happyflower, posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 17:43:24
Pinkeye, I don't know what you think offended me, because you didn't at all. I love your honesty and I respect it. I value your advice very much. Thank you!
I would love to hear HOW you became religious, and what it means to you. If it isn't too personal of a thing to tell. Do you FEEL something or is it intellectal?
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 18:02:36
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy?, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 18:00:56
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 18:10:04
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy » happyflower, posted by Dinah on June 10, 2005, at 17:43:55
>>
> And more importantly, therapy is supposed to be guided by what is important for you to discuss.LOL! You sound like my T, Dinah! He said the exact same thing when I asked him if it was okay to talk to him about sex. :)
If you wish to discuss religion or spirituality, a therapist should ideally be able to talk to you about how to overcome your difficulties or reach what you want, regardless of their own religion or lack thereof.
What about if you don't know what you want? I am scared to talk to him about this because ( i know T's are suppose to be objective) but I seem to offend everyone I talk to about his when I ask questions. I grew up in a very religious small town where everyone was either amish or a form of it, and I was outcasted by everyone in my school because I didn't belong to their church. My best friend was catholic and they snubbed her too. We were good people, but it sad that we were judged this way. So I am scared that I am going to be judged by my T (even though they aren't suppose to do this, but I think they can't help it sometimes).
Posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 18:11:58
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy?, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 18:00:56
Ok Cool. I just thought I sounded too preachy in my posts above. And you didn't reply to my posts :-(. So I figured you must be mad at me. Glad that you are not :-)
For me it was hard initially. Because I am a hindu and hind religious rules are extremely strict if you want to be really religious. And there were huge amoutns of conflict between what I believed before and what my religion states is the right way to live. Plus there are lots of blind customs in my religion, and it seemed to not make sense to me at all.
But then I tried to not look at the very controversial things about my religion and jsut try to focus on God and take it as some one who loves you and who you love back, and mostly about someone who gets your desires and wishes fulfilled. And that was my way for a long time. But now in the past 2 yeras, my husband has gotten into an extreme religious cult, and I had to understand lots about it. His thing preaches core extreme religiousness - but then I tried to look for good things from it and whatever is applicable and took that alone and left the rest of it.
And it started out being intellectual for me for a long time - though I tried to beleive in God and believe that HE loves me and all, for many years, I didn't really believe. Even now, there is a part of me that doubts the whole thing very much. But slowly I am coming to more feel it rather than trying to intellectualize it. And I see that I have gained a lot of wisdom now partly becuase of it.
Posted by daisym on June 10, 2005, at 18:15:07
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy?, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 18:00:56
I'm a practicing Catholic and my therapist is Jewish. We've talked about church beliefs, God and what I was brought up with many times. It does effect who you are, so I think it is an important part of therapy for some people. I don't think anything that is coming up for you should be held back because you are afraid of offending your therapist. Mine would want to know what I was afraid of and if I thought he would be judgemental somehow.
Sometimes comparing notes is helpful, but more likely I would imagine the conversation would center on your beliefs and wishes and needs, not his current practices or beliefs. I know mine is Jewish more from the Holidays he takes off and from the cultural things he'll bring into therapy. One time he told me he was going to teach me how to REALLY kvetch -- not this whimpy reasonable story telling I was doing. It made me smile.
Bring it up. It will probably be a good discussion.
Posted by Dinah on June 10, 2005, at 18:16:00
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 18:10:04
I don't think he'll judge you harshly for that at all.
If you don't know what you want, that's the perfect time to talk about it. I don't need to talk about it when I'm happy with where I am.
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 18:22:02
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy? » happyflower, posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 18:11:58
You know Pinkeye, I DID respond to your post, I think first, but I forgot to put your name in the subject, lol Sorry! By the way thank you for sharing your religion story. I feel it is so incrediable on how honest of a person you are. You are truely a good model of a wonderful spirt. :)
Posted by Jazzed on June 10, 2005, at 18:23:33
In reply to Have you ever talked about religion in therapy?, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 17:23:31
Hi Happy,
Maybe you could ask your T if there are any subjects he's uncomfortable discussing with you, but like Dinah said it's about you, and what you need to discuss. I would think it comes up as often as sex. If he's religious, I'd think he'd welcome your questions, esp. if you told him you felt "like an outcast". I can't imagine that anyone with any faith would want you to feel that way. Your T wouldn't want to influence you, I"m sure, but talking it through is different.
If religion is something you feel the need for in your life, maybe you could do something to cultivate it. Maybe find where you fit/feel comfortable, and go for it. I think people come to it at all points in their lives. And, about personal feelings, sometimes I feel it's beyond my control. My feelings are sometimes really strong, and then they fade a bit, and then they aren't there much at all, and then they ....... I don't know why, but I have a guess there's a reason for that, though it's beyond me why.
How's that for talking in circles?!
Jazzy
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 18:25:54
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy? » happyflower, posted by daisym on June 10, 2005, at 18:15:07
Wow, talk about opposites! lol My husband grew up strick Catholic but because he got a divorse he isn't allowed to recieve communion. This is hurtful to him, so we tried Lutheren, which is very simular. But I don't know what I want to talk about other than I feel like I am missing something in my life because most people feel so passionate about it, I must be missing something.
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 18:41:41
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy? » happyflower, posted by Jazzed on June 10, 2005, at 18:23:33
If you were talking in circles maybe that why I understand you so much because my mind is going in circles! lol :)
Posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 18:44:46
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy? » pinkeye, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 18:22:02
> You know Pinkeye, I DID respond to your post, I think first, but I forgot to put your name in the subject, lol Sorry! By the way thank you for sharing your religion story. I feel it is so incrediable on how honest of a person you are. You are truely a good model of a wonderful spirt. :)
Ok :-). It feels good to be appreciated. But I don't think I am worthy of it. I am not a good model. I suffer too much and am an unhappy person. That is the proof something is very wrong with me. A person can say all the right things, but ultimately if that person is not happy, then there is something wrong basically. I don't understand what is so wrong with me and why I am not such a happy person, but I know there is something very basically wrong. And regarding honesty, why would I want to lie in an anonymous chat room? For that matter I don't really lie in real world also, but more so in the anonymity why would I want to not be 100 % honest? It won't help me right? That is why I try to tell everything as it is. ATleast in real world if people are not honest, there is some value in it - to pretend you are a great person when you are actually a jerk. But in anonymity I figured I might as well be what I really am for the most part.
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 18:56:30
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy? » happyflower, posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 18:44:46
I am sorry if I hit a nerve with you, pinkeye! Well I like you and if what I see is your honest self, then I think you are a good person, I am sure others here will agree. (and I am not talking out my a$$. :) I think the fact that you KNOW the right things, and help others, makes you a good model. I wish I could say something to make you happy, but I know that comes from within yourself. But you know what, I think you will be totally happy someday and I am going to wait here until it happens, because I know you have the potential. Yesterday I heard a great tape called, Warming the Stone Child. And this women said some of the greatest healers of other people come from people who have suffered the most in there life. I think you could become a great healer someday. I know you must think I am totally nuts, but this is how I feel about you. You have helped me so much already.
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 19:11:11
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy?, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 18:56:30
Posted by LadyBug on June 10, 2005, at 19:15:17
In reply to Have you ever talked about religion in therapy?, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 17:23:31
Yes I have.
It was brought up at our first meeting, but only by me. She just smiled. So I had no idea what her religious beliefs were. As time went on it was common to both of us that we were of the same religion. That has helped me a lot. I asked her if it was ok if I talk about religious matters and her answer was "it's your therapy, you talk about what ever youd like." So though it's not the foundation of our work, it helps me to know she has the same beliefs that I do. We often say we will see each other after this life and we won't have to be as therapy/patient. Maybe we could be friends??!!??!! Just dreaming. Our relationship is eternal, she tells me. I love my T. She is awesome!!!
LadyBug
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 19:36:14
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy, posted by LadyBug on June 10, 2005, at 19:15:17
We often say we will see each other after this life and we won't have to be as therapy/patient. Maybe we could be friends??!!??!! Just dreaming. Our relationship is eternal, she tells me. I love my T. She is awesome!!!
Your T sounds so warm and wonderful, I want to be her friend too! How long have you seen her?
Posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 20:11:15
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy?, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 18:56:30
Thanks for the warm words. They mean a lot.
I also hope someday I will be able to be fully happy and that I could be useful to whatever extent possible for me. I don't know what to do though to get there. And I am not very good in talking and don't have too much charisma or anything in real life and I feel very embarrassed to talk in public. I think those are very essential if you want to help people.
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 20:23:59
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy? » happyflower, posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 20:11:15
You know I don't if this will happen to you, but it happened to me. I don't know if you remember a couple of months ago when my T used EMDR on me and it uncovered some terriable memories that I have stuffed inside of me that I had to finally deal with. It was hell, so painful. But I have healed a part of me that I didn't even know that needed healed. Well after that, I became happy really happy for the first time and then I became more socialable even to the check out ladies at the store. I am more open then ever before because I feel better.I have opened up even at this site, too. I used to be very shy. Maybe this might happen to you, I don't know for sure, but wouldn't it be great! I hope the best for you pinkeye! Even though we have never met, I feel like you could be a great friend IRL. :)
Posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 20:34:51
In reply to Re: Have you ever talked about religion in therapy? » pinkeye, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 20:23:59
Can you elaborate more on EMDR? Woudl that magically make your painfulness go away? I have a lot of anger and guilt and hatred towards myself, and my T believes I am storing all that inside myself instead of showing it to my father. I have tried CBT, and I can't seem to be able to access these emotions and direct them towards my dad. I have read that EMDR is fast and quick way of getting traumas cured. What is it? Would you mind elaborating on what exactly you do in your therapy sessions? Also how long would it take - would it be useful if I can do it only for 2 months?
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 21:02:30
In reply to What is EMDR? » happyflower, posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 20:34:51
auugh, the pc ate my last very long message! Pinkeye, check out EMDR.com. It has all the infor you might need. Yes, it works fast and it is suppose to be more humain than exposure therapy. My T has treated sucessfully over 300 people with it and has been doing it for over 10 years.
What happened to me, has only happened to 2 other people that he has treated. Well it recovered a worse memory then what we were working on, later that night. It was the most emotional night I have ever had in my life. Well my husband was so worried he called my T the next morning after holding me crying for hours. My T had me come in that morning to calm me down. My T wants to do more EMDR work because it worked so well with me, but he is allowing me to trust him more and take it very slow. That was 2 months ago.EMDR is used for a lot of things so maybe it might help you too. Check it out. Any questions, please ask, it feel good to help you for once! lol
Posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 21:28:54
In reply to Re: What is EMDR? » pinkeye, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 21:02:30
Thanks HappyFlower for that info. I will check it out and ask my current T if she thinks it will be good for me.
Thanks for helping - you have helped me in many ways before as well.
Posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 22:36:06
In reply to Re: What is EMDR? » pinkeye, posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 21:02:30
Is EMDR only for trauma? or PTSD? I don't think I have it - but maybe I had a mild form of continuous terrorized lifestyle in childhood and maybe when I first came to this country.
Do you think it might be worth exploring that option? How many sessions does it take? 8? Also how much do they charge? Is it generally covered in insurance?
But I have tried CBT for a long term, and beyond a point I am not able to change my emotions much with it. I have developed many coping techniques, but not able to change the way I feel that much really. I am wondering if this would be the magical solution I have been waiting for??
Posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 22:42:14
In reply to Is EMDR only for trauma? » happyflower, posted by pinkeye on June 10, 2005, at 22:36:06
Also happyflower - How many sessions did it take for you to overcome your PTSD?
Go forward in thread:
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.