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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 23, 2005, at 18:02:53
I just need to let this out. I am really scared, I don't know what is happening to me right now. i was told these were symptoms of depression but i am hoping it is something else. I am so scared! I feel like i can't swallow, I hurt inside. I feel really empty and hollow adn like there is noone out there that understands what is happening to me. I am so sad and my hands are tremoring and i don't know why. I feel lost and i was hit so hard with this yesterday, im tring so hard not to think negatively but i can't snap out of it! im stuck in a hole somewhere and i can't get out. It is so aeful right now. It has been a really long time since ive been depressed so i am panicking. all noise is much louder it seems thatn normal and i feel like im not here??? i can't explain it. is this normal/ will i feel better soon. I am nauseous as well. this probably isn't even making sense, i just needed to reach out to someone cause i feel incredibly alone right now and very unfamilar with what is happening. ive been sad before tons of times but this is WAY different. im thinking and physically feeling different. thanks for reading
rain
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 23, 2005, at 18:04:33
In reply to are these symptoms of depression?, posted by rainbowbrite on January 23, 2005, at 18:02:53
\im not making much sense or im thinking irrationally or something i am really frustrated with this
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 23, 2005, at 18:53:00
In reply to are these symptoms of depression?, posted by rainbowbrite on January 23, 2005, at 18:02:53
Posted by fallsfall on January 23, 2005, at 19:51:23
In reply to please soemone tell me this will end (nm), posted by rainbowbrite on January 23, 2005, at 18:53:00
Rainbow,
This will end. It really will. I know it feels really awful right now, but it won't go on forever.
Can you call tomorrow morning and tell her that you really need to see her tomorrow? You need to tell her everything that is going on. You need to be really honest with her so she can help you.
Here are some of the posts I was telling you about last night. I hope they could be helpful:
www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040626/msgs/362239.html
www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030727/msgs/247026.htmlThis one is about the power of ice cream. Usually I talk about ice cream being much more fun than this... I am known as the Ice Cream Queen... But this post will tell you just how much ice cream has done to help me.
www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041218/msgs/431999.html
Hang on and talk to your therapist tomorrow. I WILL get better.
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 23, 2005, at 19:54:32
In reply to please soemone tell me this will end (nm), posted by rainbowbrite on January 23, 2005, at 18:53:00
i guess im alone here, i dont know maybe it will helpme to keep writing i am acting and feeling so strange i just don't rememebr it being so bad i can't tell anyone (i can't explain why on here) i am scared that i have missed my opportunity to pull out of this. i took my meds this morning but i don;t feel any different. i feel crazy, really crazy, i am afraid to say anything to anyone, and i don't kno wwhy. it is like i fear saying domething wrong or strange. i know know one can help me but i desparately need someone right now. i did everything to fight this everything. my head is a mess
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 23, 2005, at 20:01:19
In reply to Re: please soemone tell me this will end » rainbowbrite, posted by fallsfall on January 23, 2005, at 19:51:23
thanks for replying falls
i havend't eaten in almost 2 days. im nauseous for some reason the thought of food is making me sick. but I will check out the posts. I realized last night that I have the wrong T. I am still going to my appointment but i am feeling like this is not something my T can help me with. I guess i do have a chemical imbalance or some week link somewhere. I feel so weird, I can't take this its awful! you know i rememerb writing someone about the feeling ending, i think i jinxed myself. i don't ever remember feeling this bad, ever. i must have but this is so hard. i am just thinking and thinking an thonking. i want to stop thinking
Posted by mair on January 23, 2005, at 21:10:04
In reply to Re: please soemone tell me this will end » fallsfall, posted by rainbowbrite on January 23, 2005, at 20:01:19
One of the incredibly awful things about depression is that its symptoms can be the symptoms for a ton of different physical conditions. So it's really hard to sort these things out. And lots of us experience unpleasant physical feelings with depression.
How long has it been since you had a real episode? I used to panic every time I thought I was slipping into a depressive episode because depression can have such a permanent feeling to it, and of course can last so long and be so awful. Fortunately, for me anyway, episodes (or at least the most acute ones) are a lot shorter than they used to be and I've slipped in and out of so many of them that I think I now have a little confidence that the worst parts will end.
Falls is right, you need to get in touch with your T and try to sort this out. Don't assume the worst, and don't assume that you can't handle whatever has come your way.
Keep us posted on how you're doing.
Mair
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 24, 2005, at 1:15:04
In reply to Re: please soemone tell me this will end » rainbowbrite, posted by mair on January 23, 2005, at 21:10:04
Thansk Mair
I thought i was really losing it. My feelings were weird an i couldn't figure it out. I haven't been depressed in about 5 years really and it was a bad one then. But tonight i think i had an anxiety attack. my first one YUCK! maybe it was in part realted to worrying about getting depresed. But I got help with it in open. I am calling pdoc in the morning casue i was messing around with my meds and i need to fix what i did. My head still is feeling funny but I feel more contained now, i was all over the place earlier. I guess ativan helped too. Thanks so much
rain
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 24, 2005, at 10:44:26
In reply to are these symptoms of depression?, posted by rainbowbrite on January 23, 2005, at 18:02:53
Rainbow,
This also sounds like anxiety to me. When I was at my worst with anxiety, I had many of your same "symptoms." It DOES go away, but I know it's scary when it happens.
((RAINBOW))
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 24, 2005, at 11:51:56
In reply to Re: are these symptoms of depression?, posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 24, 2005, at 10:44:26
Thanks Miss Honeychurch
I think it might have been anxiety for a few days actually with a huge panic attack last night. The feelings are sort of similar to depression i guess but the physical symptoms are very different. I left a message with my pdoc and hopefully he can shed some light on this. I didn't want to let anyone now before becasue i didn't know or understand what was happening. I think that is why I was so stressed and all over the place for the last few days.I am so glad to understand this better. Although im so embarrased about my posts.
thank you
Posted by Joslynn on January 24, 2005, at 12:08:43
In reply to Re: are these symptoms of depression? » Miss Honeychurch, posted by rainbowbrite on January 24, 2005, at 11:51:56
No need to be embarrassed!
I get nauseous when I am depressed too. There is a slight state of nausea throughout it in addition to no appetite. And when I am anxious, my hands shake. However, this can also be a side effect of certain meds I have heard, I don't know what you're on. So it's tricky to sort out what is what.
But I completely understand. The depression, then the anxiety of OH NO, I am getting depressed again, which feeds the depression, and the cycle begins.
For me, when I am depressed, I forget that I was ever not depressed. Yet most of my life, I have not been depressed. Something about the episode itself tricks me into thinking it has always been with me. Depression is crafty that way.
Sounds like you have determined it to be more of anxiety though. But I just wanted to let you know what for me, depression causes slight nausea too.
Definitely talk to your pdoc, especially if you have been adjusting your meds. Plus there is always that chance that it could be something completely different, like you are getting the flu or something.
Posted by Shortelise on January 24, 2005, at 12:21:16
In reply to are these symptoms of depression?, posted by rainbowbrite on January 23, 2005, at 18:02:53
It's essential to eat, Sweetie. A lot of what you describe could be from not eating. You brain needs food to work, and your nervous system freaks out it isn't fed.Eat small meals, a bit of cheese here, some soup there, take it easy.
Rainbow, if you can do small things to help you feel better - like eat, like write here, like take a walk around the block, take a hot bath, do the things you know might help - you may feel less panicked. If it's just a question of brushing your teeth, give it a try.
Take good care. This won't last, it will pass.
ShortE
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 24, 2005, at 12:43:17
In reply to Re: are these symptoms of depression? » rainbowbrite, posted by Shortelise on January 24, 2005, at 12:21:16
No need to be embarassed about ANYTHING you post here. That's what's so great about Babble. People support you and sympathize and empathize. Let it all hang out!
Depression and anxiety wreak havoc on my body. In addition to what you have mentioned (especially the swallowing thing), I begin to twitch, get hand trembles, start stuttering, become nauseous, etc. Unfortunately, I also focus so much on this that I become even more anxious. I become anxious about feeling anxious. This is a big problem.
I 've been experiencing some mild depression the last few weeks and now I've got it in my head that all of my teeth are loose. I can't stop testing my teeth, even had my husband try to pull my teeth. Logcally, I KNOW they are all in there safe and sound, but I FEEL that they aren't. I attribute this totally to anxiety. And even just realizing this makes it easier to deal with.
Now who obsesses over teeth? That is REALLY embarassing!
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 24, 2005, at 12:57:50
In reply to Re: are these symptoms of depression?, posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 24, 2005, at 12:43:17
Actually I have lol
I was convinced a few years ago after i hit my tooth by accident with a beer bottle that it was going to fall out i kept obsessively wiggling it and checking it. i must have forgotten about it cause it did go away. Now im obseessing about how I acted last night. But i will try to stop.
it must be awfulk to have regular anxiety, I feel so weak today I can't imagine this all the time. my lack of sleeping must have been realted to anxiety as well....I am going to look this up more, I have had a really hard time focussing to read about anxiety and panic. LAst night I think I must have put myself in that state by feeling bad and then feeling scared about feeling bad and tehn something else happened to add to that stress and I must have worked my self up... ARG!! Im assuming there are posts on how to stop the progression, it doesn't sound like fun!
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 24, 2005, at 13:03:29
In reply to Re: are these symptoms of depression? » rainbowbrite, posted by Shortelise on January 24, 2005, at 12:21:16
I can't believe I didn't think about that! Its true when I don't eat i get all weird feeling. I don't think I have been thinking clearly to make rational decisions. and I just weighed myself, Ive lost 3 pounds over the weekend. that isn't good. I need to get food, I am really good at forgetting to eat its like my stomach feeds itself off of stress or something.
Thanks
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 24, 2005, at 13:13:12
In reply to Re: are these symptoms of depression?, posted by Joslynn on January 24, 2005, at 12:08:43
Hey Joslynn
My meds don't normally make me shake but I went off of tehm for a few days or so after lowering for a while and that might have soemthing to do with it.
>But I completely understand. The depression, then the anxiety of OH NO, I am getting depressed again, which feeds the depression, and the cycle begins.
ok that is almost exactly what happened!! I felt bad and then it just got worse and wworse.
>For me, when I am depressed, I forget that I was ever not depressed. Yet most of my life, I have not been depressed. Something about the episode itself tricks me into thinking it has always been with me. Depression is crafty that way.
something like that happened but a little diffeent. I forgot what being depressed was like, not just being sorta sad but real deoression adn when it hit i thought it was the worst i have ever ever felt! It may have been up there, but today i can say that many years ago I had an epsidoe (depression) that must have been worse than this weekend. I just couldn't see that though. although from what i have read and stuff it sounds like i did have more of a panic attack.>Definitely talk to your pdoc, especially if you have been adjusting your meds. Plus there is always that chance that it could be something completely different, like you are getting the flu or something.
actually i was really hoping someone would suggest taht, I thought maybe im sick and thats all. Im probably not but im still going to check that, i just heard back from pdoc and im going to get fit in, thank god!
thanks for your help
rain
Posted by fallsfall on January 24, 2005, at 16:56:15
In reply to Re: are these symptoms of depression? » Joslynn, posted by rainbowbrite on January 24, 2005, at 13:13:12
Good! I'm glad you will get to see the pdoc. When is your appointment?
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 24, 2005, at 17:10:49
In reply to Re: are these symptoms of depression? » rainbowbrite, posted by fallsfall on January 24, 2005, at 16:56:15
I just got back, phew! I feel so much better! I did have a panic attack and he said i probably have been anxious about stuff not a depression (thank god). he said I have to go back up on meds :( we are negotiating that one still but im on a low dose again.
Posted by fallsfall on January 25, 2005, at 9:48:56
In reply to Re: are these symptoms of depression? » fallsfall, posted by rainbowbrite on January 24, 2005, at 17:10:49
This is the end of the thread.
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