Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 710231

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Re: pseudoname (trigger) ClearSkies

Posted by dreamboat_annie on December 5, 2006, at 18:55:22

In reply to Re: pseudoname (trigger), posted by ClearSkies on December 5, 2006, at 10:58:20

I'll always wonder if we could have helped him.

This is no way meant to be cold or unfeeling. It has taken me a long time to come to this realization, and even longer to accept it, although it may be a bit of a generalization. To start, two people close to me committed suicide, one of my best friends lost two family members to suicide, another friend lost her sister to suicide, two other acquaintances took their own lives, and, when I was 12, the mother of two children I babysat committed suicide. When my sister-in-law took her own life, I, too, thought I could have done more. It took me a long time to get over her death, but eventually I realized, that she was at peace - a peace she had never known in life. I think that at some point an individual who has suffered and struggled with mental illness, and been beaten down time after time, only to keep trying to get up again, comes to a point of sweet surrender. They have fought the good fight, but just cant do it anymore. I think that, perhaps, what people close to the individual mistake for a lifting of depression may actually be a period of relief for the individual who has made a decision to escape the shackles of depression (or other mental illness) and end their emotional pain.

Im sorry if this was inappropriate. It is not my intention to hurt anyone with my views.

 

Re: pseudoname (trigger)

Posted by liliths on December 6, 2006, at 8:37:08

In reply to pseudoname (trigger), posted by Dr. Bob on December 4, 2006, at 4:50:30

> Hi, everyone,
>
> I'm very sorry, but I need to pass on the below.

It really hurts to know his pain was too great to bear but I understand his decision. Tears run down my face as I write... for him, for myself... for all of us who struggle so hard to live.

He was a wonderful, supportive presence on this board and will be greatly missed.

namaste,
lilith

 

Re: pseudoname (trigger)

Posted by All Done on December 6, 2006, at 17:50:44

In reply to pseudoname (trigger), posted by Dr. Bob on December 4, 2006, at 4:50:30

I'm so sorry to hear this. I always enjoyed reading posts by Pseudoname.

I wish things didn't end up this way for him. It's heartbreaking.

 

Posting about death--redirected to Admin

Posted by gardenergirl on December 6, 2006, at 18:18:57

In reply to Re: pseudoname (trigger) Dr. Bob, posted by Squiggles on December 4, 2006, at 10:26:50

Sorry to interrupt, but I've redirected the posts regarding posting about death to the Admin board.

Here is a link: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20061202/msgs/710976.html

Thanks,

deputy gg

 

OMG. I'm so sorry to hear that....

Posted by muffled on December 6, 2006, at 19:47:35

In reply to pseudoname (trigger), posted by Dr. Bob on December 4, 2006, at 4:50:30

Suicide is a terrible thing :(
In every way :(
For everyone:(
RIP pseudoname :(
Muffled

 

(((pseudo))) **trigger**

Posted by LlurpsieBlossom on December 7, 2006, at 17:24:07

In reply to Wish there was something more that could be done., posted by madeline on December 4, 2006, at 17:45:17

I didn't find out until just now.

We were good babblebuddies, and I feel so fortunate that he trusted me enough to share some of the more personal details of his life.

(((pseudo)))

No words for sobbing. My heart hurts that you were suffering so much. I'm going to go back to my saved babblemails from you. I still feel like I'm writing to you in a way, but you're gone now. I hope you've found peace, and a place where you can be you, and feel loved and love yourself. You deserved all of that and much more. I'm sorry you had to wait so long, and you couldn't find it in this lifetime.

your friend,
L

 

(((pseudoname)))

Posted by rip van periwinkle on December 7, 2006, at 22:45:10

In reply to (((pseudo))) **trigger**, posted by LlurpsieBlossom on December 7, 2006, at 17:24:07

I am so very, very sorry
I miss you very much
peace to you
love,
sleepygirl

 

Re: ways of describing suicide

Posted by Dr. Bob on December 7, 2006, at 23:23:06

In reply to Re: pseudoname (trigger) ClearSkies, posted by dreamboat_annie on December 5, 2006, at 18:55:22

> I think that at some point an individual who has suffered and struggled with mental illness, and been beaten down time after time, only to keep trying to get up again, comes to a point of sweet surrender.

I know this isn't a "media story", but I still think it's important to be careful about how we talk about suicide:

> Certain ways of describing suicide in the news contribute to what behavioral scientists call "suicide contagion" or "copycat" suicides.
> Research suggests that inadvertently romanticizing suicide or idealizing those who take their own lives by portraying suicide as a heroic or romantic act may encourage others to identify with the victim.
>
> http://www.afsp.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.viewpage&page_id=7852EBBC-9FB2-6691-54125A1AD4221E49

Follow-ups regarding this should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. Here's a link:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20061202/msgs/710976.html

Thanks,

Bob

 

Re: in memory of pseudoname

Posted by Dr. Bob on December 7, 2006, at 23:23:11

In reply to (((pseudo))) **trigger**, posted by LlurpsieBlossom on December 7, 2006, at 17:24:07

> I met him in Toronto. Now he's gone?
>
> I remember him telling his border crossing story, of how he told the customs officer(s) that he was meeting internet friends and of how they got suspicious of him when he told them that.

> I'm going to go back to my saved babblemails from you.

I met him in Toronto, too. So I went back to his posts about that. It was a sign of improvement that he felt up to going:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060412/msgs/639931.html

And had a great sense of humor about it:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060412/msgs/640021.html

And made the most of being there. He not only had fun with the exhibits, but also went to the forum on Harry Potter. :-)

I'll miss him,

Bob

 

Re: in memory of pseudoname

Posted by Dr. Bob on December 8, 2006, at 0:31:23

In reply to Re: in memory of pseudoname, posted by Dr. Bob on December 7, 2006, at 23:23:11

> I met him in Toronto, too. So I went back to his posts about that.

We also have pseudoname to thank for one of the folders at Psycho-Babble Tips:

Buprenorphine for Depression
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/psycho-babble-tips/links/buprenorphine_for_de_001146748536

Bob

 

In memory of pseudoname Dr. Bob

Posted by LlurpsieBlossom on December 8, 2006, at 10:12:14

In reply to Re: in memory of pseudoname, posted by Dr. Bob on December 8, 2006, at 0:31:23

I am still struggling with the loss of this kind, intelligent, sensitive soul.

I agree with Dr. Bob, he was having a pretty good summer, and was generally upbeat, but this fall was really difficult.

His last communication with me was really touching and poignant, and I will save it forever. I feel honored that he trusted me, and psycho-babble, enough to reveal his human frailties and vulnerabilities.

I would like to have a thread to remember him by. It's difficult, because he was often such a reserved person on the public boards, yet he had a unique wit and sense of how to comfort someone that really shone through in his more personal communications. I will miss hearing funny stories about his colorful life, and I'm sorry that I never got to meet him IRL. I think he really cared about others, and I am sad that he was often unable to recognize what a wonderful, intelligent, giving person he was.

Grace & peace to you, pseudoname
yours,
-L

 

Hope you found peace. Sorry you not here (nm)

Posted by shadowplayers721 on December 8, 2006, at 10:46:07

In reply to pseudoname (trigger), posted by Dr. Bob on December 4, 2006, at 4:50:30

 

Re: In memory of pseudoname

Posted by linkadge on December 8, 2006, at 10:58:31

In reply to In memory of pseudoname Dr. Bob, posted by LlurpsieBlossom on December 8, 2006, at 10:12:14

What a horrable event.

I think it is good that we know. Without knowing what happened, this board would forever be missing something.

Linkadge

 

Re: In memory of pseudoname

Posted by linkadge on December 8, 2006, at 11:04:37

In reply to In memory of pseudoname Dr. Bob, posted by LlurpsieBlossom on December 8, 2006, at 10:12:14

Not that it still won't be.

Linkadge

 

Re: in memory of pseudoname

Posted by Poet on December 8, 2006, at 12:30:42

In reply to Re: in memory of pseudoname, posted by Dr. Bob on December 8, 2006, at 0:31:23

I met Pseudoname in Toronto, too. I remember telling him I was jealous because he made it to the theatre tour that I really wanted to go to. I'm sorry that we were unable to tour it together, but his description of it was vivid. My memories of him are vivid, too.

I'm certain you are at peace, Pseudoname, I'm sorry you couldn't find it on earth, but I'm happy you shared some of your life and spirit with us.

Poet

 

Re: pseudoname (trigger)

Posted by canadagirl on December 8, 2006, at 20:07:29

In reply to pseudoname (trigger), posted by Dr. Bob on December 4, 2006, at 4:50:30

This is more than shocking. It's so sad. I don't even look at this admin section. Something made me come here tonight. I was thinking of him just the other day -- thinking about the Babble dinner in Toronto, I sat beside him and got to know him a bit. When I remarked to him there, that I thought he was a girl posting, but was surprised to see a guy --- it was so funny. How awful, how sad, how terrible. What a gentle soul. I am at a loss for words. It just goes to show that someone's life makes such a great impact and that the loss has such a ripple effect. It just goes to show the value of someone's life to people who hardly know them. His poor parents, friends, anyone; I feel so sorry.

 

Re: pseudoname (trigger)

Posted by maryhelen on December 9, 2006, at 15:09:03

In reply to Re: pseudoname (trigger), posted by canadagirl on December 8, 2006, at 20:07:29

My deepest sympathy to pseudoname's family and friends and his very dear caring babblers. I do not often post, because just by reading others posts, I get the answers I need, so I have certainly read many of pseudonames posts.

Two very close friends of mine committed suicide within two months of each other a few years ago. I think what made me feel most devastated and feeling sick, was the horrendous pain they would have been in. Ironically, speaking to the partner of one and the twin sister of another, both expressed to me that they actually thought both were doing much better and seemed happier. I wonder, if once the decision is made, there is such a relief and such a weight is lifted, that the person seems quite at peace and seemingly happier and in a better place. At least that was the experience in both of these wonderful people.

Bless you pseudoname. I hope you have found the peace that you so desperately tried to achieve here on earth. You will be missed so much.

maryhelen

 

Re: pseudoname (trigger)

Posted by TexasChic on December 9, 2006, at 16:04:52

In reply to Re: pseudoname (trigger), posted by maryhelen on December 9, 2006, at 15:09:03

I just discovered this. I'm so sorry I never got to know him better. I just don't know what to say.

-T

 

Re: pseudoname (trigger)

Posted by Tomatheus on December 10, 2006, at 17:32:11

In reply to pseudoname (trigger), posted by Dr. Bob on December 4, 2006, at 4:50:30

It saddens me to hear that Pseudoname recently took his own life. I know from reading his posts that he struggled long and hard to find relief from his depressive illness without much long-term success. I do think it's regretful that Pseudoname's struggle had to end the way that it did, but I hope that he is now able to find the inner peace that he was not able to find here on Earth.

Unfortunately, I never communicated directly with Pseudoname on this board or elsewhere. However, I read a lot of his posts here and always found them to be informative and thought-provoking. As a Babbler, I think that I am better off having read Pseudoname's posts than I would have been had I not read his posts, and I think that his presence here will be (and already is) sorely missed.

My heart goes out to all of those who knew Pseudoname personally. May his soul rest in peace.

Tomatheus

 

Dear pseudo

Posted by AuntieMel on December 11, 2006, at 16:59:17

In reply to pseudoname (trigger), posted by Dr. Bob on December 4, 2006, at 4:50:30

I don't know what to say.

Say I miss you? Say my heart is bleeding?

Be mad at you for not reaching out more? Or calling?

Or maybe just thank you. You never knew just how much you touched me. How much I enjoyed walking the convention center with you and going to the talks. How brave you made me. Funny isn't it. I never would have had the courage to talk to some of those vendors without you being there.

Thank you for the laughs - you of all people know how rare they are.

I hope you are finally happy. And that maybe you will find that good haircut.

Peace, babe.

 

Displaced Grief

Posted by mixed_state on December 12, 2006, at 2:28:05

In reply to Dear pseudo, posted by AuntieMel on December 11, 2006, at 16:59:17


I have been following this board for around a year and this information and subsequent discussion has finally convinced me to post. I had read pseudoname's posts before and obviously it is a very tragic situation. For the first few days after I read the post, I felt very sad - particularly exacerbated by the loss of another babbler just a few days before. The information of pseudoname's suicide definitely 'triggered' feelings from my own dark abyss to rise to the surface. I never met him/her but I felt myself imagining an individual taking their own life (representative of myself?). It has been a very awkward set of days. Feeling the way I felt, I definitely understood squiggles' postings, and even thought similar thoughts, although I didn't dare to post them. But in retrospect, I do think Squiggles was displacing his/her feelings over the loss, to the messenger of the information - Dr. Bob - an inclination I myself had. The knowledge of a loss of a real person in this imaginary community that involves real feelings and real words, and sometimes personal bonds (e.g., Toronto) makes it all the more dificult to place in the limited schema of human conceptualization. Somehow, through displacing my own feelings of mortality and the loss of this real person into the linguistic realm of my own therapy, I have been able to work through it to be able to move on and know that I must keep struggling.

 

Redirect: Displaced Grief

Posted by Dr. Bob on December 14, 2006, at 2:09:43

In reply to Displaced Grief, posted by mixed_state on December 12, 2006, at 2:28:05

> in retrospect, I do think Squiggles was displacing his/her feelings over the loss, to the messenger of the information - Dr. Bob

Welcome, I've replied to this at, and I'd like to redirect follow-ups regarding displaced grief to, Psycho-Babble Grief. Here's a link:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20051017/msgs/713475.html

Thanks,

Bob

 

psuedoname trigger

Posted by rubenstein on December 17, 2006, at 21:32:15

I didn't know, I have been too selfish in dealing with things in my own life, It is so sad, so much death this year, he will be so missed
rachel

 

Re: psuedoname trigger rubenstein

Posted by Phillipa on December 17, 2006, at 22:07:16

In reply to psuedoname trigger, posted by rubenstein on December 17, 2006, at 21:32:15

Yes he will. Love Phillipa

 

I'm sorry you feel this way rubenstein

Posted by Racer on December 19, 2006, at 19:28:36

In reply to psuedoname trigger, posted by rubenstein on December 17, 2006, at 21:32:15

> I didn't know, I have been too selfish in dealing with things in my own life, It is so sad, so much death this year, he will be so missed
> rachel

Yes, Pseudoname will be missed. It's tragic that life can get so painful, and that there's sometimes little help available when it's needed.

You, though? You're not "selfish" -- that's a very harsh thing to say about yourself. I know how hard it is to recognize, sometimes, how hard we can be on ourselves. (Trust me -- you do *not* want to be inside my brain these days...) I also know that, out of all the words I could use to describe you, "selfish" ain't one that jumps to mind.

I don't know what else to say right now. I'm in pretty hopeless shape myself, but I wanted you to know that you're not some terrible thing like "selfish" for not knowing about Pseudoname's tragedy. You're a good person, you know.

And if you don't know it, we do. Maybe that can help?


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