![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 20 to 44 of 66. Go back in thread:
Posted by blueberry on April 14, 2006, at 19:24:21
In reply to Husband Giving Up ..., posted by Flame on April 14, 2006, at 8:43:41
I agree with so many...the drinking has to stop. Or at least slow down to one small glass a night.
Counseling or psychotherapy would be extremely helpful. Finding a church you both like would be incredible.As for med changes, I personally would actually lower the effexor dose some, and then add to it either zyprexa or remeron.
Posted by john berk on April 14, 2006, at 22:26:23
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up ... » Flame, posted by blueberry on April 14, 2006, at 19:24:21
Hi, I am dual diagnosed with depression and alcoholism, and i have to totally agree with Crazy Horse,
i have not gotten any good results with any AD unless i was at least 2 weeks sober, i was a binge drinker during the first 2 years of my prozac expeirence, and found relief in about 3-4 month's of continued sobrietry, [not complete relief by any means, but good response for ocd and major depression] but when i returned to drinking, even for a weekend, i was almost back at square one, maybe it is just my unigue chemistry, but alcohol fueled my depression, and vice versa for years.i can only relate my personal expeirence, but until at least a brief period of sobriety is found for your husband, i really don't know how any AD can be effective, or how you would even know what is and isn't working. Alcohol clouds the picture too much. one or 2 drinks is fine, but when you talk about a night of drinking, more than a few times a week, that is not only masking the symptoms, [and beleive me, i sympathize greatly with your husband and his pain]
but also doing very little justice to the pharmacutical picture and his depression recovery.it is the hardest struggle imaginable, because, [and i think Crazy Horse will agree here]when you self-medicate with alcohol, the alcoholism takes on a life of it's own, even if the depression were now to remit spontaneously, you still have the drive/need for alcohol, it is a vicious cycle. but here again i am only speaking from an affirmed alcoholics veiwpoint, mine] so i think you,[Flame] your husband, and a good therapist must decide if it is social, or medicinal drinking, it's a fine line at times.
but i still think that meds in the long run will work much better with a sober lifesyle, at least in the short run, good luck Flame to you and your husband, have a good holiday...john
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on April 15, 2006, at 4:51:28
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up ..., posted by Flame on April 14, 2006, at 11:17:27
>I have read on a few internet sites that the Effexor that my husband is on may have brought on this sudden "need" for drinking every night. I don't know if anyone on this BB has had that same experience?
Yep, it was bizarre - I would feel 'plastic' and you somehow just needed a drink(s) to feel like youself again. It was weird. I haven't ever experienced anything like that on any other med I've been on! Also I was on only 75mg of effexor, so I can't imagine what the 375mg must feel like!!!
Well the urge left once I had stopped the effexor. Also, effexor can sort of sap your motivation and give you apathy. So I wonder if that is why your husband doesn't want to work as much. I was in college at the time, and well, I defiantely lost the drive to do well. Luckily my grades that semester didn't count.How much does your husband drink at the bar? I mean, if its only 3 or 4 beers, that isn't too bad. I don't know. Maybe its a useful vent for him, and to see his buddies.
Kind regards
Meri
Posted by flame on April 15, 2006, at 6:48:40
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up ... » Flame, posted by Meri-Tuuli on April 15, 2006, at 4:51:28
Hi Meri,
So obviously, with your reference to feeling "plastic" you were feeling basically nothing? .. And the alcohol brought you, once again, back to "feeling" again?There was another reference to how the Effexor just made you crave carbs (alcohol) because of how it worked in your system. (Really can't remember all the details.) But that was another's analogy. And then there was even another that said it was a bad drug to put someone that already had addiction problems on. Of course my husband's dr. would have no idea of his past, 'cause I'm sure my husband wouldn't mention it.
I'm wondering if you're right (once again!) about the Effexor sapping his motivation? Apathy? .. I don't know??
Let me tell you this. My husband can/will do all of the things HE wants to do. He has hobbies that he gets into BIG TIME .. devotes all of his time to. There are many things that my husband does DO, but in my opinion, it has to be something *HE* wants to do. That's what gets me so frustrated about his feelings about never working again. How can he say something to the effect of "I am pretty much done working for my lifetime. I just don't have it in me anymore." And then go on his merry way to spend large amounts of time doing something else? Makes no sense to me at all! (Maybe this is the Effexor talking?)
Yes, I wish it was just 3 or 4 beers a night .. nope! My husband has AT LEAST 10 beers (probably more) a night and always winds up the night with a shot or two.
I've been thinking the past couple of days. I am almost wondering if he gets a big time buzz out of taking his Ambien when he gets home from the bar at night. (So he looks forward to that buzz?) He looks and acts awful when he does this, but it has become common practice now. It has to be important to him, 'cause we CAN have very good sex, UNLESS he takes the ambien after drinking. I have told him this time and time again, but it doesn't seem to matter to him. Thus the theory of him looking forward to his nightly ambien/alcohol buzz.
I sure do appreciate you taking the time to tell me how Effexor made you feel. Some very important things for me to try to bring up to my husband's dr. (IF my husband will allow me to accompany him ever again!)
Thanks! ~Flame
Posted by flame on April 15, 2006, at 6:53:01
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up ... » Flame, posted by Crazy Horse on April 14, 2006, at 14:02:08
CH,
Do you think that the Effexor made you feel apathetic? Did it take your motivation away? Adding the remeron, would that maybe "help" this?Flame
Posted by flame on April 15, 2006, at 7:09:49
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up -- response got VERY long » Flame, posted by Racer on April 14, 2006, at 14:20:54
Racer,
Wow! You really just layed it all out on the line, didn't you??? (Thats a GOOD thing! :-) )I know all of you folks think that "therapy" would help me "adjust" to my husbands depression. I really think that I had already adjusted to his depression .. UNTIL I realized that he was giving up working. THAT is the issue that I need to adjust to ..but don't think I ever will. I (for whatever reason) cannot accept that. Maybe it is because I *know* I have no control over my husband. And I've accepted that and don't nag him nor get myself upset about his depressive modes. (At least I try very hard!) So, I've accepted THAT part and work very hard to NOT let his depression affect me. But when it comes to the finances .. well, no matter how you swing it, that DOES affect me.
The counseling thing for either my husband or as a couple ..well, I'm very willing to do, but my husband is not. He tells me (I don't believe him) that he believes that counselors/psychologists are all in it just for the money. His real feelings about this ..is that he is scared to death to work with someone on his problems. (He wouldn't verbalize this, but after talking to several of his previous therapists throughout the years, we have all come to that conclusion.)
Kicking him out HAS crossed my mind. But how we would swing THAT. There is not enough money for him to live somewhere else. (Why am I worrying about him?)
Who knows? There (probably) are no real answers to my husbands complicated illness. I appreciate you and so many others great support. Thanks for *listening* to me here. It helps to be able to vent. .. And I have learned a few things, that maybe will help. Anyway, things I can at least ask his dr.
~Flame
Posted by flame on April 15, 2006, at 7:18:06
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up ..., posted by john berk on April 14, 2006, at 22:26:23
Hi John,
You know, we used to "social" drink with absolutely no problelms. My husband did not feel the need to sit down at the bar every night. (At least I did not see that.)It was not until he was on the Effexor for about six months, that this changed. He goes to the bar 5/6 nights out of the week. And, as I mentioned in a previous post, it is NOT just 3 or 4 beers. It is probably over 10 beers and always a couple of shots to wind the night up.
It is *very* frustrating for me, as I know I have no control over this.
..So is it going to take me leaving him for things to change? When I say change, I know that would be for me only. I cannot expect anything from my husband. Would it be worth it for me, to not have to live with these frustrations day after day? (Just doing a little personal ranting here...)
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on April 15, 2006, at 8:08:54
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up ... » Meri-Tuuli, posted by flame on April 15, 2006, at 6:48:40
Hi Flame,
> So obviously, with your reference to feeling "plastic" you were feeling basically nothing?
No, it was more of feeling "chemical-ly" or "tin-ey" or "metallic" (I don't know how to describe it! "Metallic is probably the best); it was a definate discrete feeling that I haven't felt since coming off (or before) effexor. Its really hard to describe. But it made me drink to relieve the weird "metallic" feeling.
Effexor definately made me crave carbs and sweet things. I would eat whole loaves of this sweet cinnamon bread, and then icecream and fudge sauce. Hmmm. I would also binge drink, although I did that before the effexor anyway (I was in college after all!).
Search the archives for apathy and effexor here. I'm not sure if its a common side effect, but it certainly was with me. SSRIs are notorious for apathy.
Good luck to you and your husband. I understand that it must be a very difficult situation for you both.
Kind regards
Meri
Posted by john berk on April 15, 2006, at 8:11:30
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up ..., posted by flame on April 15, 2006, at 7:18:06
Hi Flame, it's good that you are able to vent here, that is very theraputic for you, and we all understand for sure.
hmm, maybe it is the effexor, i don't know, when i first began prozac, my entire family thought it escalated my drinking, even my parents wanted me to get off it, not to mention my girlfriend.there is some research linking prozac to increased alcohol consumption, i don't know about other meds, but possibly this is true for many!!
if you say your husband drank socially up until 6 month's ago, it sounds more either the meds or increase in depression, not "alcoholism", i hate to even throw that term around, but it is applicable to me though.unless you feel it would make a radical change in your relationship , or your husbands drinking, i don't think leaving is the answer.
i think he really needs you, you sound very supportive, and the fact you are here on the board looking for answers shows you love him a great deal.
i think it would do either you, or both of you guys together, possibly meeting with a good p-doc or therapist, your husband may need a med change, and i suppose you could both use the counseling!! i wish you so much luck, i know your husband needs you a great deal at the moment, you a really great influence in his life. take care...john
Posted by Crazy Horse on April 15, 2006, at 9:56:58
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up ... » Crazy Horse, posted by flame on April 15, 2006, at 6:53:01
> CH,
> Do you think that the Effexor made you feel apathetic? Did it take your motivation away? Adding the remeron, would that maybe "help" this?
>
> FlameWell, for me effexor didn't help at all. My guess is that it's not helping your husband either. But adding remeron could "fuel" the effexor, and the combo can be very effective in hard to treat depression problems. For me, the combo was Paxil and remeron. Paxil alone helped a little, adding the remeron did the trick, pulled me out of a very deep depression. But remember, this is without alcohol...when i would drink, even with the remeron and paxil i would go down hill fast! To me, outside of the MAOI's (Parnate and Nardil) Remeron is the best ad i've ever been on, and i've been on nearly all of them. You will have to be aggressive on your husbands behalf, because in his current state he cannot help himself. Don't give up on him. Best of luck.
-Crazy Horse
Posted by HappyGirl on April 15, 2006, at 15:06:20
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up ..., posted by flame on April 15, 2006, at 7:18:06
Hi:
>>>> So is it going to take me leaving him for things to change? When I say change, I know that would be for me only. I cannot expect anything from my husband. Would it be worth it for me, to not have to live with these frustrations day after day? <<<<--- In my opinion, .... it's so hard to say, but you need to make 'limit/boundary' on your husband's behaviour whether he's Bipolr of not. Because, you're ABSOLUTELY not his 'Mommy.'
Besides this fact, you need to take good care of yourself. In one of your previous posts, your husband is NOT a young man, at age 51(?), then in my guess, you, too not to be a young lady. If you, both are young, I'd say, ... up to the age 35 or close to that age, ... then it's a kind understandable. However, a grown-man at age 50 or over, I am NOT able to comprehend your husband's behaviour.
However, this decision is all up to you. If you're able to put up with him, then you need to search more constructive answer, ... 'How to live with a man with unacceptable behaviour. Or, as someone else's suggestion, probably you both need to get a good counselling for 'rebuilding' with your husband.
Good Luck to you, both.
H.G.
Posted by flame on April 17, 2006, at 7:14:11
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up ... » flame, posted by Crazy Horse on April 15, 2006, at 9:56:58
CH,
I can't remember .. did you say how long you've been on the Remeron/Paxil combo? Is there a chance (like other meds my husband has been on) that this would work great at the beginning, but stop working after a while?
What is *your* experience with this? Do you have any side effects?
Thanks for all of the time you have taken to respond to my posts!
Flame
Posted by flame on April 17, 2006, at 7:42:30
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up ..., posted by HappyGirl on April 15, 2006, at 15:06:20
Hello HappyGirl!
Thanks much for your response to my post(s)!
You are SO RIGHT about me needing NOT to be my husband's mommy! But .. at times, (way too many times) that is exactly what I feel like!
Boundaries are so terribly hard to implement with an individual such as my husband. He doesn't seem to get it, no matter how many times I may say or show him how serious I am about something.
Yeah, 51 is too mature to be thinking this way. .. And to young to be thinking that he is "done" with working. (I am a few years younger.)
... Being able to "put up with it" my husband (the situation) as it is, is the million dollar question. Can I .. will I? If I Do .. HOW?The counseling thing .. yeah, maybe I will consider seeing someone again for "me". I have learned that there is absolutely NO SENSE in me suggesting/urging my husband to go to counseling .. 'cause if he doesn't want to be there, it will do him no good.
Flame
Posted by Crazy Horse on April 17, 2006, at 8:23:12
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up ... » Crazy Horse, posted by flame on April 17, 2006, at 7:14:11
> CH,
>
> I can't remember .. did you say how long you've been on the Remeron/Paxil combo? Is there a chance (like other meds my husband has been on) that this would work great at the beginning, but stop working after a while?
>
> What is *your* experience with this? Do you have any side effects?
>
> Thanks for all of the time you have taken to respond to my posts!
>
> FlameI'm not currently on this combo. I'm currently on Parnate (an maoi inhibitor). I was on the Remeron/paxil combo from about the year 2000-2005, that's a long time for me. Most meds only work a year or less for me, if they work at all.
But that's me, your husband and i have a different type of depression. For him, if it works, it could work indefinitely. There really is no guarantee with these meds, just trial and error. And as i've read many times here...your miles may vary. Best wishes.
-Crazy Horse
Posted by Caedmon on April 17, 2006, at 8:53:42
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up ... » flame, posted by Crazy Horse on April 17, 2006, at 8:23:12
Hi Flame,
I'm sorry I don't have any good advice. Your story is sad to me, I empathize. I think Wellbutrin could be helpful. I also think that he needs to go sober; he probably needs to be on a GABAergic medication either to help transition or else to treat some underlying stuff that the alcohol is currently treating. Benzodiazepines (or maybe an anticonvulsant) might help.
Lastly consider that, as you have mentioned, you are not his mom. He is lucky to have your support but I would not be *over*-supportive to the point where he is relying on you. I hate these mental illnesses but I admit that you would not be doing him a favor if you accomodate someone who is not willing to try to get help. That's how the situation sounds to me anyway. Best of luck,
- C
Posted by HappyGirl on April 17, 2006, at 23:10:43
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up ..., posted by flame on April 17, 2006, at 7:42:30
Hi flame:
It's SO hard to understand your feelings towards your husband. However, I DO know very well from reading your response to mine shows you are still in love with your husband.Loving someone like your husband might be NOT easy for anyone, but in your case, it has something to do. Probably, you and your husband has a strong bondage that is more than a man and wife's relationship.
In my suggestion, ... if you're in that situation/feelings, then try to accept him without any judgemental remarks/comments. Because, your husband has already 'self-esteem' problem due to his mental ill. If you'd say about his incompetency, you'd send him in a wrong direction. He needs a verbal encouragement from you, although you've been providing him with financial aspects.
Also, I, too agree with you as to counselling to get a proper guidance. There are a lot of professional folks, but you need to find a right one who understands your situation well.
H.G.
Posted by flame on April 18, 2006, at 5:16:57
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up ... » flame, posted by HappyGirl on April 17, 2006, at 23:10:43
HG,
Yes, your words are very wise. As much as I am ranting/complaining here, I do *know* that I cannot/would not do that in front of or to my husband. I definitely try to be very complimentary and supportive to him. He has shown me time and time again that THAT is very important to him. You are right, his self-esteem is very fragile .. although he doesn't want anybody to really know that. Of course, I do!
It is times like this ..when I discover what he has been thinking/feeling about his NOT working and NOT continuuing to contribute to our financial future that I just feel like giving up!
As I mentioned in another post, I DO know that I have no control of my husband. Thus, I do not complain to him/harp on him. That has worked up to this point .. UNTIL I discovered his current attitude of not being able to work much more in his life time. (SIGH ...)
Flame
Posted by flame on April 18, 2006, at 7:43:21
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up ... » flame, posted by HappyGirl on April 17, 2006, at 23:10:43
HG,
One more thing that I forgot to mention in my previous post ...
You mentioned that you thought it was hard to understand my feelings toward my husband. Yes, I do love him .. at least the husband that he USED to be. I love my husband, our family and my life, as I once knew it. Because of my husband's change of attitude (depression not getting addressed correctly/successfully?) I am very frustrated. So frustrated, in fact, that I many times feel like giving up. I came to this board hoping for some input/advice from you folks here, 'cause you have gone through this first hand.
I know that there is no easy answer. I'm thinking that I am not ready to give up (quite) yet. I plan on taking quite a few of the comments/advice that I received on this BB to heart. I will (once again) find a supportive counselor for me. While we can't solve anything, at least I will have a "neutral" place to vent.
I am hoping that an opportunity arises whereby I will be able to talk to my husbands pdoc. I would like to make sure he is aware of some things about my husband and also mention a couple of the different prescriptions mentioned here (that I have not heard of previously) to see what my husband's pdoc has to say about those and the possiblity of my husband trying those.
Just thought that I'd mention a few of these things. As I said .. and as so many of you already have noticed, I am apparently still trying to move forward in anything that *I* can do with regards to my husband's depression and how it affects me.
Thanks,
~Flame
Posted by HappyGirl on April 18, 2006, at 7:54:30
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up ... » HappyGirl, posted by flame on April 18, 2006, at 5:16:57
Hi flame:
I strongly recommend you get a professional help to sort things out. Because, sounds to me like you, too getting sick due to your husband's situation, particularly in terms to a lack of his financial contribution. I truly understand your current dilemna along with a lot of confusion and sadness because of this.Medication, of course a very first tool to combat mental illness your husband has been sufferring. However, since he's in semi-normal to almost normal mental state, what he needs is motibation to work. If there is a problem of finding a work in his field, then he may need to 'lower-down' to find any job available. Because, contractor he's done may not fit to his current emotional and mental state. Because, in mental illness, Stress is #1 enemy. Needs to find a job with less stressful job. For that reason, he may like to go bar/drinking to alleviate his stressful feelings.
Try to find a right counselor, either marriage or psycho.therapist who is able to understand your current situation. If one is not suitable to your emotional needs, then switch to someone else who can offer you a good resources. It's a lot of work, but in the end it's also well-work.
H.G.
Posted by Crazy Horse on April 18, 2006, at 11:08:31
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up ... » HappyGirl, posted by flame on April 18, 2006, at 7:43:21
> HG,
>
> One more thing that I forgot to mention in my previous post ...
>
> You mentioned that you thought it was hard to understand my feelings toward my husband. Yes, I do love him .. at least the husband that he USED to be. I love my husband, our family and my life, as I once knew it. Because of my husband's change of attitude (depression not getting addressed correctly/successfully?) I am very frustrated. So frustrated, in fact, that I many times feel like giving up. I came to this board hoping for some input/advice from you folks here, 'cause you have gone through this first hand.
>
> I know that there is no easy answer. I'm thinking that I am not ready to give up (quite) yet. I plan on taking quite a few of the comments/advice that I received on this BB to heart. I will (once again) find a supportive counselor for me. While we can't solve anything, at least I will have a "neutral" place to vent.
>
> I am hoping that an opportunity arises whereby I will be able to talk to my husbands pdoc. I would like to make sure he is aware of some things about my husband and also mention a couple of the different prescriptions mentioned here (that I have not heard of previously) to see what my husband's pdoc has to say about those and the possiblity of my husband trying those.
>
> Just thought that I'd mention a few of these things. As I said .. and as so many of you already have noticed, I am apparently still trying to move forward in anything that *I* can do with regards to my husband's depression and how it affects me.
>
> Thanks,
> ~FlameHi Flame,
I just thought of something else..maybe someone has already mentioned this? Sometimes males 45 and older have a decline in testosterone wich can cause depression, lack of motivation etc. Have blood work done, and ask doc to specifically check hormone levels and thyroid...it's really impt. to rule out these 2 things. Good Luck.-Crazy Horse
Posted by flame on April 18, 2006, at 11:38:57
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up ... » flame, posted by Crazy Horse on April 18, 2006, at 11:08:31
CH,
I DID go with my husband to his regular physician sometime this past winter. My husband's mom and two sisters have thyroid problems along with sugar. I insisted that his physician test for these things. But .. on the thyroid, I don't believe he did the right tests. He only did the TSH, and husband's doc said that this was "normal". I have learned since then, that is not necessarily true! (He needs to be tested for the free's.) I haven't figured out how I will once again "insist" that his doc run a thyroid panel on my husband, but this time do it "correctly". Both my husband and his doctor will think I am being a very pushy ****!
I agree totally with you that thyroid and other hormone problems can wreak havoc on your mental/emotional health.
On the testostorone, even if that IS low, with his anger issues, is that something that I really even want to address?
Posted by Crazy Horse on April 18, 2006, at 13:13:24
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up ... » Crazy Horse, posted by flame on April 18, 2006, at 11:38:57
> CH,
>
> I DID go with my husband to his regular physician sometime this past winter. My husband's mom and two sisters have thyroid problems along with sugar. I insisted that his physician test for these things. But .. on the thyroid, I don't believe he did the right tests. He only did the TSH, and husband's doc said that this was "normal". I have learned since then, that is not necessarily true! (He needs to be tested for the free's.) I haven't figured out how I will once again "insist" that his doc run a thyroid panel on my husband, but this time do it "correctly". Both my husband and his doctor will think I am being a very pushy ****!
>
> I agree totally with you that thyroid and other hormone problems can wreak havoc on your mental/emotional health.
>
> On the testostorone, even if that IS low, with his anger issues, is that something that I really even want to address?
It's okay to be pushy..I am very pushy when it comes to my family and my own health. Sometimes you just have to be.As far as the Testosterone...I'm sorry, but i am not qualified to answer that. I understand what you are saying though, will more Test. cause more anger..maybe, but i'm not sure. This would be a good question for SLS, Link or ED., and of course your doc.
I admire your desire and diligence in trying to help your hubby. :)
-CH
Posted by flame on April 18, 2006, at 14:31:10
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up ... » flame, posted by Crazy Horse on April 18, 2006, at 13:13:24
Hello SLS, Link or ED,
Would one of you have a minute to post your thoughts about supplementing testosterone (if indicated) with someone who has anger issues?
Thanks! Flame
> >
> > On the testostorone, even if that IS low, with his anger issues, is that something that I really even want to address?
> As far as the Testosterone...I'm sorry, but i >am not qualified to answer that. I understand >what you are saying though, will more Test. cause >more anger..maybe, but i'm not sure. This would >be a good question for SLS, Link or ED., and of >course your doc.
Posted by SLS on April 18, 2006, at 15:29:49
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up - SLS, Link, ED?, posted by flame on April 18, 2006, at 14:31:10
> Hello SLS, Link or ED,
>
> Would one of you have a minute to post your thoughts about supplementing testosterone (if indicated) with someone who has anger issues?
>
> Thanks! Flame
Does he get angry only when he is intoxicated?It might depend on his current level of testosterone. If it is low, supplementation might reduce irritability as it helps with depression. To give supratherapeutic (above normal) amounts of testosterone definitely has the potential to increase aggressive behavior.
I like the idea of consulting with an endocrinologist.
- Scott
Posted by flame on April 19, 2006, at 11:23:59
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up - SLS, Link, ED? » flame, posted by SLS on April 18, 2006, at 15:29:49
Okay.. so the testosterone is something that definitely should be looked into, sounds like!
"Does he get angry only when he is intoxicated?"
No, not only when intoxicated. Actually, he is (usually) pretty calm after he's been drinking. To be honest, even with all that he drinks, he never appears to be intoxicated until a while after he takes his ambien at night. This happened just last night and has been a constant bone of contention for me: I met my husband up at the bar and we had dinner. I left after one hour and my husband said he was right behind me. Well two hours later, after I had been asleep for sometime, he got home and proceeded to insist on waking me up. Because I became ornery (because this happens too much) he got very angry and began yelling things out quite loudly. (Very mean things!) This, I know, is a result of him drinking and then taking that ambien.
I know I got off on a tangent there .. but again, today I am VERY frustrated. I slept very little last night and am exhausted today. This just happens way too much. Our (adult) kids are even noticing how "crazy" he acts when he combines his alcohol with his ambien. Oh .. and also last night, all of a sudden his mirapex isn't working for his restless legs. HELLO! Considering his alcohol intake, I am amazed that anything has helped (for even a little while) with his restless legs!!
While I agree that my husband needs to have the correct tests done on his thyroid, I don't agree with setting him for an appointment with an endo. I have talked to many people and read many books whereby, generally those endo's are just TSH watchers, also. I think there are a lot of people that are struggling with all kinds of symptoms, because your old school drs. only look at the TSH. If I can find someone that would test his TSH along with his FT3 and FT4, I think that everyone (Dr. and ME) would get a better picture of what is going on (or not) with my husband's thyroid. Just my opinion, of course.
I am trying to think of a way that I could accompany my husband to his pdoc this Friday. I asked the last time and he told me no way 'cause I say too much. I tried (last year) to call my husband's pdoc to fill him in on what was going on at that time and asked him not to say anything to my husband .. but he did. So calling his pdoc is not the answer. My husband gets furious when he thinks that I am trying to "interfere". He says that his doc doesn't need to know those things and that it is none of my business to be telling him. Sigh .....
Boy, this post turned into more of a rant than anything else, didn't it???
Thanks! ~Flame
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