![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by becksA on April 3, 2006, at 10:52:05
Obviously I could talk for pages and pages but I wanted to narrow it down today to one symptom question. Ive dealt with this a while now, and I'm TENTATIVELY dx'd with cyclothemia or BPII, as well as social anxiety disorder, which is much more certain. I also have ADD. Anyway, anytime I'm put down, be it by a boss at work, rejected by a girl, insulted by some strange guy I have never met, whereas most people just would "brush it off", i am EXTREMELY effected emotionally, almost like a punch to the gut, and or stomach, and extreme depression comes in. This affects my mood AND my anxiety levels for as long as a DAY or more! and then beyond that, whenever I think about it for the next week or so, I get that feeling again, although it dwindles off gradually as time passes.
Is this a common symptom of some type of bipolar? ANybody else get in these situations? It happens to me almost all the time. I say this because recently I asked out a girl in my art class and I got really good vibes from her, and she wasnt even really "out of my league"...just a normal intelligent girl, and i called her, and she of course never called back and im basically depressed as hell, which in turn affects my anxiety like crazy.
Thanks
Posted by Racer on April 3, 2006, at 11:41:52
In reply to Is this a Bipolar symptom?, posted by becksA on April 3, 2006, at 10:52:05
Doesn't sound like bipolar to me. Does certainly sound familiar, though...
I can still recreate insults, rejections, etc, that happened to me long ago, and thinking about them still sends me reeling. I attribute it to shaky self-esteem, and putting too much importance onto external judgements. I have found that, when I'm feeling pretty good, and pretty good about myself, and pretty good about whatever is being commented on, unkind comments don't bother me nearly so much. (Just had an experience related to that about a week ago, with my mother, in fact. She commented negatively about a top I'd knit for myself, and it slid right off my back -- because I liked the top. A day or so later, when my mood had slipped more, I found I was rolling her comment around in my head again, and feeling self-conscious about the top. {sigh})
I've talked to my T about this, and we agree that the goal is to progress to where I can place more importance on my own opinion than that of others. I suspect that this is an area where some CBT skills would help -- mostly stopping to compare what's said by others with your own opinion.
And for me, it's related to OCD/ADD type symptoms, too. It's a lot worse when I'm more obsessive, and more distractable. So, it's more complex than just a symptom of one particular disorder, I would guess.
Hope that helps.
And I have to say this, I tried to avoid it -- about that girl? First, you don't know why she didn't call you back, but get rid of the concept of "out of your league" when it comes to the female of the species! Get right the heck over that. You'll be happier, and you'll be better able to make a woman happy about you, too. Also, the best way to get to know a woman is to make friendly gestures, not necessarily romantic ones. Trust me on this: romantic is scary for a lot of women, friendship is something more of us are good at.
Good luck with that, too.
Posted by B2chica on April 3, 2006, at 12:11:32
In reply to Re: Is this a Bipolar symptom?, posted by Racer on April 3, 2006, at 11:41:52
agree with racer about approach to girls.
about your symptoms, well, maybe i've been in therapy too long but i think seeing a therapist and talking could do you a world of good. i think you are way too critical of yourself and you've probably have some abandonment and self esteem issues. i think that talking about them could help you sort these out and gain the self-esteem you truly deserve.
on the otherside i do think that your anxiety plays a big role. i know it does for me. expecially when i'm depressed i ruminate on little things, a look from a person, an off comment. i dwell and dwell on what they meant, that i deserve dirt and that it's not worth it (everything).i think you are in a great position to ask for help with this.
on you on meds? maybe a small dose of a benzo might help you out a bit too.
Posted by ed_uk on April 3, 2006, at 14:32:03
In reply to Is this a Bipolar symptom?, posted by becksA on April 3, 2006, at 10:52:05
Hi Becks
They call it rejection sensitivity. It's common in social phobia and atypical depression. It doesn't indicate bipolar disorder......but that's not to say that people with bipolar disorder don't experience this symptom - they often do.
Ed
Posted by becksA on April 3, 2006, at 16:52:55
In reply to Re: Is this a Bipolar symptom? » becksA, posted by ed_uk on April 3, 2006, at 14:32:03
thanks for all the comments. so ive learned some things, it really probably doesnt have anything to do with bipolarity. i do have social anxiety, and i do take klonopin which has helped a LOT with a lot of things, but the onlyh thing that still lingers is the topic i initially brought up. emotinal sensitivity. keep in mind, dont focus on the girl part, its not just that. it could be some random jerks laughing becuase i dropped my books in front of a whole classroom, or i dunno, anything really that hurts me inside, affects me 100x as much as it does to the "normal" person....
thanks again
Posted by CEK on April 3, 2006, at 18:35:45
In reply to Re: Is this a Bipolar symptom?, posted by becksA on April 3, 2006, at 16:52:55
I am the same way emotionally. I'm a woman though so people brush it off because I'm just acting like" a stupid woman." I hate it! It really sucks for people, people not even in your life and that really shouldn't matter can hurt you this much. It makes me cry and I hate to give that " victory" to someone. I don't like to let anyone see that they've bothered me this much. I'll dwell on it and relive it and then think about all the other hurts and before you know it I'm so depressed that I can't even stand to exist anymore. I feel your pain. I've been diagnosed as bipolar2 but I was never told if this was part of it either. I do have major self esteem issues, this much I do know. For me, it's like I've always tried to be a good person and treat people kindly and it seems like people take advantage of this and crap on me more. It makes me wish that I could take a magic pill that would make me be a b-tch and tell everyone to go to hell. It would be nice to have tougher skin and not be effected by even little things that people say or do. As of yet, I don't guess that this pill exists. If I ever find it, I'll let you know. Good luck.
Posted by Phillipa on April 3, 2006, at 19:29:21
In reply to Re: Is this a Bipolar symptom? » becksA, posted by CEK on April 3, 2006, at 18:35:45
Guys you're being sensitive and that is not all bad. Only when it interferes with your life is not a good thing. You would make any girl or woman a wonderful mate. Love phillipa
Posted by Caedmon on April 3, 2006, at 20:13:59
In reply to Is this a Bipolar symptom?, posted by becksA on April 3, 2006, at 10:52:05
It sounds like atypical depression and/or social phobia, like ed_uk mentioned. Are you on benzos?
It can coexist with bipolar, as it does in my case, or by itself. Or, yeah with cyclothymia also.
- C (I'm bipolar-II)
Posted by Racer on April 3, 2006, at 21:43:46
In reply to Re: Is this a Bipolar symptom?, posted by becksA on April 3, 2006, at 16:52:55
I do think therapy is a good option, too, to check into. It can't fix the chemistry directly, but it can be more long lasting with fewer side effects than the drugs...
Seems lately a lot of doctors want to dx bipolar rather than depressed/anxious, or treatment resistant depression. {shrugs} Whatever. Bottom line is, itdoesn't matter what the dx is, as long as the medications are helping you. Or, if the meds aren't helping, that your doctor is working with you to find something that does work.
And I wasn't trying to focus on the girl. Your post made it clear that you were talking more generally. That was a slightly separate issue -- just because I have strong memories of myself when I was younger, and always wish I could protect others from having to go through what I did...
Posted by CEK on April 3, 2006, at 22:01:38
In reply to Gotta agree with B2chica » becksA, posted by Racer on April 3, 2006, at 21:43:46
Racer, I think it was nice of you to mention the girl thing. I think men (no offence to any of them) need this kind of advice from women. I use to try to tell my guy friends when I was younger that they should read some of the womens magazines to find out a little more about us since we are so different then they are. I just love them though. I have found that men make better friends than most women. You know they lack that "catty" thing. All of my real relationships started from friendship. That way you can really get to know each other better without feeling that pressure like you mentioned. I know this doesn't have to do with meds or anything, but I wanted to let you know that I get where you are coming from.
Posted by JaclinHyde on April 5, 2006, at 10:45:26
In reply to Is this a Bipolar symptom?, posted by becksA on April 3, 2006, at 10:52:05
I am BPII and I would consider your reaction more of just a strong sensitivity then BP, although obviouusly it is possible.
JH
Posted by greywolf on April 6, 2006, at 0:13:21
In reply to Re: Is this a Bipolar symptom?, posted by JaclinHyde on April 5, 2006, at 10:45:26
Doubtful that it's a BP symptom.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Medication | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.