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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Sky Brite Line on July 31, 2008, at 0:37:30
That's just what comes to my mind all time at night. Danmit, all failure in life, and i see it as a continuing path. Get me a gun, some razor's, slit those wrists, sedate myself on barbiturates while its happening! and look at some old pictures...
THANK GOD that got out! I've done, ok.....suicidal thoughts come bad at night. Thank God Prozac blocks it out so much during the day.
I found out i have some called Asperger's disorder, it caused, alot of sh*t that happen. I look normal, talk normal (some times i'll talk load, but thats apart of the disorder) and smell normal, i acutally use so much Cologne, you'll can smell me before i walk in. That or ciggarette smoke....because really whats there to do, just sit and think about life. No, get frustrated? light up a ciggette! and say "danm"
And i know this such a bad influnce, but this is me. All the innocence i ever had....left. Of course, we all lose innocence.
i have look in the mirror and im "XXX" (that means any name, not anything else ok?) my born identity didnt develop....... had to switch and slit.
Thats...my story. Anything else is crap.
I'll have a dessert.
SKY
Posted by Partlycloudy on July 31, 2008, at 9:18:43
In reply to Rather be dead....., posted by Sky Brite Line on July 31, 2008, at 0:37:30
Posted by Dinah on July 31, 2008, at 9:33:17
In reply to Rather be dead....., posted by Sky Brite Line on July 31, 2008, at 0:37:30
I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.
I wonder if suicidal ideation naturally increases at night, when defenses are down? I have been waking up for a couple of weeks now thinking the same things you're thinking.
I hope that both of us remember that the feelings do pass. Things do get better.
I'm trying to force myself out of the house to do things I at least enjoyed at one time, even if I don't enjoy them now. I think it might be healthy for you. Is that a possibility for you?
Were you joking about the cologne? I'm not allergic to anything else that I know of but I am apparently allergic to perfume. It sounds as if I'd be sneezing before you entered the room. :) Do you feel that you need the cologne to cover up your natural body odor? Or is it something else?
Posted by Sky Brite Line on July 31, 2008, at 9:57:26
In reply to Re: Rather be dead..... - Trigger » Sky Brite Line, posted by Dinah on July 31, 2008, at 9:33:17
hi......... 9:51am
listen, its at night i get like that. Only usally at night. When all my defenses and masks are taken off, i just the fact i use masks.
Using too much cologe is just me not thinking about, "you spray cologe usally 2 times, not 5 times" and maybe its really good smelling cologe, but it really makes people want to leave its so strong.....
Feelings do pass.....but they come back at the same time. At night. Late....
Well, i just said what i wanted to say....."really rather be dead" inside. But thats not my moral motive, but i think that alot.
I just had to get out, right now im fine. Going back to work, and i'll proably have a good day. You understand your talking to old poster.
Rerember R-----J
SKY
Posted by Dinah on July 31, 2008, at 10:10:21
In reply to Re: Rather be dead..... - Trigger, posted by Sky Brite Line on July 31, 2008, at 9:57:26
Yes, I did see where you mentioned who you were previously. Thank you for that.
Maybe it would be helpful to work out a strategy with your pdoc for these night time thoughts?
What I do is mainly accept that they are thoughts I get. I acknowledge them, make sure I don't act on them, and then try to redirect my attention. It still feels rotten though.
Posted by sdb on July 31, 2008, at 17:39:42
In reply to Rather be dead....., posted by Sky Brite Line on July 31, 2008, at 0:37:30
I remember a sentence that I read from Dalai Lama in a book 'the more some people are focusing on themselves the more it is likely that they will have bad feelings'. Maybe there is some truth. I don't know what people exactly should do, probably just talking with somebody on the street, going for a walk, going in the church, frequenting a place with different people
Posted by Sky Brite Line on August 1, 2008, at 0:31:15
In reply to Re: Rather be dead....., posted by sdb on July 31, 2008, at 17:39:42
there just some tension going on again - its me....I can act the most sane person, but when you leave me by myself i will go Nuts
********'the more some people are focusing on themselves the more it is likely that they will have bad feelings'******************
-thats it......I always moniter, my posture, stance, walk, because if i dont. It look horrible. Its kinda like self-improving but looking at all the negatives..
why???? mmm because i look odd just thinking about things. Its this danm asperger's
I have had severe mood swings, bad suicdal thoughts before. But you know what? i just kept on....i may be the most weakest or something but there has got to be more than just adapting to life.
Its just why is this still on my shoulders? because i threw it off for 2-3 years. It came back bad, kinda like a cloud....
But thank you, alot of time, "sh*t happens" is a term i made up, because stupid and inconvient things happen, just with me they happen on A CONSTANT basis. Part of it is Asperger's. But im adult.....i get over it.
I just said "i rather be dead" with life in general not want to be dead. Im bored with just existance.
Posted by Phillipa on August 1, 2008, at 12:41:01
In reply to Re: dinah -sbc, posted by Sky Brite Line on August 1, 2008, at 0:31:15
Sky did you get a second opinion on that diagnosis it feels like it bothers you a lot. Love Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on August 1, 2008, at 12:42:13
In reply to Re: Rather be dead..... - Trigger » Sky Brite Line, posted by Dinah on July 31, 2008, at 10:10:21
Dinah you really feel that way I thought I was wierd that I should feel good. Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
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