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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Phillipa on November 7, 2006, at 21:50:53
In reply to Re: Highly Sensitive Person » Phillipa, posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 21:06:11
T I think we'll make Jay the King. Jay do you like that? You now wear a crown on your head. Love Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on November 7, 2006, at 21:57:06
In reply to Re: Highly Sensitive Person » Phillipa, posted by dreamboat_annie on November 7, 2006, at 21:33:17
Probably would be. I think you're kind and see when someone doesn't feel well, expressions, how they hold themselves, and mannerisms. It's a good person that sees these things. A good friend is hard to find. Love Phillipa
Posted by dreamboat_annie on November 7, 2006, at 22:08:52
In reply to Re: Highly Sensitive Person » dreamboat_annie, posted by Phillipa on November 7, 2006, at 21:57:06
Thanks, Phillipa. You're a kind-hearted soul. You have a way of making people feel welcome.
> Probably would be. I think you're kind and see when someone doesn't feel well, expressions, how they hold themselves, and mannerisms. It's a good person that sees these things. A good friend is hard to find. Love Phillipa
Posted by Declan on November 8, 2006, at 3:56:43
In reply to Re: Highly Sensitive Person » Declan, posted by dreamboat_annie on November 7, 2006, at 20:32:07
I do. I often wonder if it's envy, although envy leads to destruction, so that doesn't seem quite right, or amazement at my seperateness, about the fact of this person in front of me, or maybe (as I get older) a sense of wonder at the beauty (and fragility) of younger people. But yes, like emptiness. This hasn't got anything to do with projective identification, has it?
But maybe it's not so odd. We take our existence for granted much of the time.
Posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 13:46:23
In reply to Re: Highly Sensitive Person » Phillipa, posted by dreamboat_annie on November 7, 2006, at 21:33:17
Wow, its almost like you're quoting the book "The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You". Here's the self test (its true or false):
----------------------------
Instructions: Answer each question according to the way you personally feel. Check the box if it is at least somewhat true for you; leave unchecked if it is not very true or not at all true for you.
- I am easily overwhelmed by strong sensory input.- I seem to be aware of subtleties in my environment.
- Other people's moods affect me.
- I tend to be very sensitive to pain.
- I find myself needing to withdraw during busy days,into bed or into a darkened room or any place where I can have some privacy and relief from stimulation.
- I am particularly sensitive to the effects of caffeine.
- I am easily overwhelmed by things like bright lights, strong smells,coarse fabrics,or sirens close by.
- I have a rich,complex inner life.
- I am made uncomfortable by loud noises.
- I am deeply moved by the arts or music.
- My nervous system sometimes feels so frazzled that I just have to go off by myself.
- I am conscientious.
- I startle easily.
- I get rattled when I have a lot to do in a short amount of time.
- When people are uncomfortable in a physical environment I tend to know what needs to be done to make it more comfortable (like changing the lighting or the seating).
- I am annoyed when people try to get me to do too many things at once.
- I try hard to avoid making mistakes or forgetting things.
- I make a point to avoid violent movies and TV shows.
- I become unpleasantly aroused when a lot is going on around me.
- Being very hungry creates a strong reaction in me,disrupting my concentration or mood.
- Changes in my life shake me up.
- I notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, works of art.
- I find it unpleasant to have a lot going on at once.
- I make it a high priority to arrange my life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations.
- I am bothered by intense stimuli, like loud noises or chaotic scenes.
- When I must compete or be observed while performing a task, I become so nervous or shaky that I do much worse than I would otherwise.
- When I was a child, my parents or teachers seemed to see me as sensitive or shy.
Scoring:
If you answered more than fourteen of the questions as true of yourself, you are probably highly sensitive. But no psychological test is so accurate that an individual should base his or her life on it. We psychologists try to develop good questions, then decide on the cut off based on the average response.If fewer questions are true of you, but extremely true, that might also justify calling you highly sensitive.
----------------------------How weird is it that I already had this book at home but hadn't gotten around to reading it?
Oh and BTW, I had to stay home from work today. We are really slow right now & the thought of spending another 8 hours sitting there trying not to think about things made me feel as if I was going to have a panic attack. I just told my boss my stomach was bothering me (which it was). It's the first time I've ever called in sick, and I wouldn't have done it if I felt it would jepordize my job. They're pretty easy going about that, especially when its not in our busy time. It just seemed like I needed to take some time out for me.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 13:51:35
In reply to Re: I woke up sad » TexasChic, posted by corafree on November 7, 2006, at 21:29:51
Thanks corafree. What you described of your family life sounds familiar. Its nice to know I'm not alone.
I'm going to check out that book too. Sounds like something that would be good for me.
-T
Posted by corafree on November 8, 2006, at 16:22:21
In reply to Re: I woke up sad » corafree, posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 13:51:35
No, you're not alone. Answered most ? yes, but there were a small handful that were a no. I put in ear plugs if I'm feeling down and hear laughing outside, or @ bedtime as 'the quiet' makes me lonelier. I know; what did I just say?
Awoke to a persecution nightmare. I made that up.
For me, it's when someone from my past, usually male, less female, ... laughing in my face, walking away from me w/ nose in air, pointing at me and laughing, being left behind, being put down or told I'm not good enough, being abandoned.
I have a lot of these nightmares.
I'll give this another try @ link to Amazon.
I wish I could get angry @ ICM, but I feel so sad, sad enuf' for both of us!
cf
Posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 16:59:38
In reply to Re: I woke up sad » TexasChic, posted by corafree on November 8, 2006, at 16:22:21
Don't be sad, we're okay, just misunderstood (especially by ourselves).
-T
Posted by dreamboat_annie on November 8, 2006, at 17:57:32
In reply to Re: Highly Sensitive Person » dreamboat_annie, posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 13:46:23
I am going to check out that book! A lot of the things listed apply to me, but I can honestly say that change doesn't bother me, I don't have to arrange my life to avoid stress or unpleasant situations, I don't get frazzled easily, especially when I have lots to do, I don't get overwhelmed and have to withdraw when there is a lot going on, I don't get annoyed when people want me to do too many things at once and I have a pretty high threshold for physical pain. I love it when I have too much to do and the adrenaline is pumping and everybody around me is energized and animated. I get more frazzled when there is too much down time and I'm not juggling 10 things at once. I've worked in a political environment for over 15 years, and it is usually crazy busy. I can't imagine working in any other kind of environment. But, when I'm home, I enjoy solitude - me and my music. I get unnerved by complete silence.
I'm sorry you had to stay home from work today
:-( I hope you are starting to feel better. People can be thoughtless and insensitive sometimes, and I'm sorry that you had to bear the brunt of another's thoughtlessness and lack of empathy. Hope tomorrow turns out to be a better day.
> Wow, its almost like you're quoting the book "The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You". Here's the self test (its true or false):
>
> ----------------------------
> Instructions: Answer each question according to the way you personally feel. Check the box if it is at least somewhat true for you; leave unchecked if it is not very true or not at all true for you.
>
> - I am easily overwhelmed by strong sensory input.
>
> - I seem to be aware of subtleties in my environment.
>
> - Other people's moods affect me.
>
> - I tend to be very sensitive to pain.
>
> - I find myself needing to withdraw during busy days,into bed or into a darkened room or any place where I can have some privacy and relief from stimulation.
>
> - I am particularly sensitive to the effects of caffeine.
>
> - I am easily overwhelmed by things like bright lights, strong smells,coarse fabrics,or sirens close by.
>
> - I have a rich,complex inner life.
>
> - I am made uncomfortable by loud noises.
>
> - I am deeply moved by the arts or music.
>
> - My nervous system sometimes feels so frazzled that I just have to go off by myself.
>
> - I am conscientious.
>
> - I startle easily.
>
> - I get rattled when I have a lot to do in a short amount of time.
>
> - When people are uncomfortable in a physical environment I tend to know what needs to be done to make it more comfortable (like changing the lighting or the seating).
>
> - I am annoyed when people try to get me to do too many things at once.
>
> - I try hard to avoid making mistakes or forgetting things.
>
> - I make a point to avoid violent movies and TV shows.
>
> - I become unpleasantly aroused when a lot is going on around me.
>
> - Being very hungry creates a strong reaction in me,disrupting my concentration or mood.
>
> - Changes in my life shake me up.
>
> - I notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, works of art.
>
> - I find it unpleasant to have a lot going on at once.
>
> - I make it a high priority to arrange my life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations.
>
> - I am bothered by intense stimuli, like loud noises or chaotic scenes.
>
> - When I must compete or be observed while performing a task, I become so nervous or shaky that I do much worse than I would otherwise.
>
> - When I was a child, my parents or teachers seemed to see me as sensitive or shy.
>
> Scoring:
> If you answered more than fourteen of the questions as true of yourself, you are probably highly sensitive. But no psychological test is so accurate that an individual should base his or her life on it. We psychologists try to develop good questions, then decide on the cut off based on the average response.
>
> If fewer questions are true of you, but extremely true, that might also justify calling you highly sensitive.
> ----------------------------
>
> How weird is it that I already had this book at home but hadn't gotten around to reading it?
>
> Oh and BTW, I had to stay home from work today. We are really slow right now & the thought of spending another 8 hours sitting there trying not to think about things made me feel as if I was going to have a panic attack. I just told my boss my stomach was bothering me (which it was). It's the first time I've ever called in sick, and I wouldn't have done it if I felt it would jepordize my job. They're pretty easy going about that, especially when its not in our busy time. It just seemed like I needed to take some time out for me.
>
> -T
Posted by dreamboat_annie on November 8, 2006, at 18:12:20
In reply to Maybe » dreamboat_annie, posted by Declan on November 8, 2006, at 3:56:43
I'm not usually an envious person, although I do have my moments :-) And, I had wondered if it was projection, but the feeling is different I think. It's more like when I look at people going about their day, I start thinking about the age-old, unanswerable question - what is it all about, what's our purpose in life? I wonder about a person's struggles and how hard it can be for some, maybe all. I think we would all like to believe that we have make some kind of a difference, even if it is just in one person's life, but sometimes it seems like people are just sad or disillusioned and beaten down by life and all the twists and turns - especially when you catch them unaware. It seems like everybody is trying to be successful (oh yeah, and, how do you measure success?), achieve happiness and contentment, be social and be accepted . . . And, yet . . . I think about how disconnected we all are (over-generalization, I know) and how we go through life in our own little worlds, only getting close to a select few and being satisfied with that. Walking down the street, or standing in an elevator or sitting on the bus and being reluctant or uncomfortable or both to make eye contact with strangers. I don't know. I feel such a sense of emptiness (not even sure if that is the feeling) sometimes, not for myself though, when I start thinking about how we get up each day and try to make something out of our lives. How we try to deal with the demons of the past while trying to hold the demons of the future at bay, all the while trying to feel like we belong, we matter and our lives have some meaning. I know I'm not making sense. It's hard to articulate the emotions. Oh well, I got that off my chest. Sorry this was so long.
> I do. I often wonder if it's envy, although envy leads to destruction, so that doesn't seem quite right, or amazement at my seperateness, about the fact of this person in front of me, or maybe (as I get older) a sense of wonder at the beauty (and fragility) of younger people. But yes, like emptiness. This hasn't got anything to do with projective identification, has it?
>
> But maybe it's not so odd. We take our existence for granted much of the time.
Posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 18:20:55
In reply to Re: Maybe » Declan, posted by dreamboat_annie on November 8, 2006, at 18:12:20
Just think how it would be if we never had any challanges! It would be so boring! I think 'what its all about' is being happy, feeling love, and the constant accumalation of knowledge.
Either that or its the hokey pokey.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 18:24:00
In reply to Re: Maybe » dreamboat_annie, posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 18:20:55
Posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 18:26:15
In reply to ^That was for Declan^ (nm), posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 18:24:00
Posted by dreamboat_annie on November 8, 2006, at 18:28:14
In reply to Re: Maybe » dreamboat_annie, posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 18:20:55
I think you are right. But, the hokey pokey works for me too :-) Either that or the Time Warp!! Tomorrow, I am going to Time Warp in my office and see if anybody joins in!!! How can anybody go through life without having done the hokey pokey or the Time Warp? They're right up there with bum biting!!!
> Just think how it would be if we never had any challanges! It would be so boring! I think 'what its all about' is being happy, feeling love, and the constant accumalation of knowledge.
>
> Either that or its the hokey pokey.
>
> -T
Posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 18:31:57
In reply to Re: Maybe » TexasChic, posted by dreamboat_annie on November 8, 2006, at 18:28:14
Ha, ha!
I have no idea what bum biting is. Going around biting homeless people?
-T
Posted by dreamboat_annie on November 8, 2006, at 18:58:42
In reply to Re: Maybe » dreamboat_annie, posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 18:31:57
LOL. Not biting homeless people. I may be weird, but I am not mean :-) No, it's literally biting bums ( - ). It was all the rage LOL. You want to see a look of total shock and disbelief on someone's face, go up and bite them on the butt when they are on crowded dance floor! Ok, I can't believe I actually admitted that I have done that. Thank god PB is anonymous!!
> Ha, ha!
>
> I have no idea what bum biting is. Going around biting homeless people?
>
> -T
Posted by corafree on November 8, 2006, at 20:59:27
In reply to Re: I woke up sad » corafree, posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 16:59:38
Butt, ... it must be someone else that is also responsible for how we are feeling now.
I know ... completely opposite the ole 'you get what you sow' and 'you make your own bed' crap, but really ... life can suck because of just plain bad luck, like being in the wrong place and meeting the wrong guy.
I'm a giver, saver, and a believer. I really believe those are good things.
Are you too?
What do you mean, what exactly don't we know about ourselves? The book I referred to points out one very simple thing and 'if you can remember to believe that way all the time', it will save you for more hurt .. guarantee.
You're younger than I, believe, so you prob' could do it. Bein' older might be more set in ways and harder to learn. I have it by my bed.
So what don't we know about ourselves ya think T?
Did I send the link to the dream interpretation book or the telling yourself truth book?
hmmm, cf
Posted by corafree on November 8, 2006, at 21:28:05
In reply to Re: Maybe » Declan, posted by dreamboat_annie on November 8, 2006, at 18:12:20
If I see someone behaving as I used to behave b4 traumatic life events, I feel 'envy', but not bad envy, the kind that makes me remember who I really am and takes me back and even brings out the youth in me, the nice youth. What has happened to me is bad and has resulted in scars that cannot be seen. I am still 'all that I was and I was good', inside me, in there waiting to surface every now and then. I see someone behaving the way I wish I could, really feeling a feeling, causing certain behavior, and I am proud of that person I envy. I'm proud they are doing their best to be the best female or male they can be. I need to remember this. It used to give me comfort. A guy I was w/ might look at another girl and I'd say 'She dresses nice. I like to see girls givin' us others a good name!' When the man realized he was 'caught looking' and I answered in that manner, I think he was proud of me. It's been a long time since I've done/said. I liked that behavior in me. It's still here somewhere.
notsureunderstandtransference, cf
Posted by corafree on November 8, 2006, at 21:29:49
In reply to Re: Maybe » dreamboat_annie, posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 18:20:55
That was wonderfully said T!
cf
(gonna print - author unknown)
Posted by corafree on November 8, 2006, at 23:46:20
In reply to Re: Maybe » TexasChic, posted by dreamboat_annie on November 8, 2006, at 18:28:14
Maybe this isn't for me or is off the subject, but I envision this person, alone, standing on the cliff of a mountain over a sprawling city, seeing lights come on as the sun is setting, and he ask himself, "What's it all about?", and, he hears this loud voice, seemingly coming out of nowhere, saying, "You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself about (or is it around?). That's what it's all about."
ROFL.
That's why gotta print T.
mayBthatsimple, cf
Posted by Declan on November 9, 2006, at 19:30:08
In reply to Maybe it was for dreamboat annie, I'm confused. (nm), posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 18:26:15
Posted by Declan on November 9, 2006, at 19:34:52
In reply to Re: Maybe » Declan, posted by dreamboat_annie on November 8, 2006, at 18:12:20
Annie, since you mention everyone going along in their own little bubbles, let me put in a plug for "Me and You and Everyone We Know"
Posted by TexasChic on November 9, 2006, at 19:38:08
In reply to Re: I woke up sad » TexasChic, posted by corafree on November 8, 2006, at 20:59:27
I just meant we're too hard on ourselves sometimes. You know, seeing faults where there actually aren't any.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on November 10, 2006, at 10:16:14
In reply to Re: I woke up sad » corafree, posted by TexasChic on November 9, 2006, at 19:38:08
I guess I finally got past being SO upset at my so-called-friend that I was able to admit some things to myself. Part of why what he said hurt so bad is because alot of it was true. I WAS being obsessive and immature in my writings to him. But I told him a long time ago I have a tendency to do this when I write. He always said it was fine, write as much as I want, vent away. Maybe I went too far, but I know I always made a point to ask about what was going on in his life, and even gave him advice when his marriage was rocky. So I just don’t know.
A friend suggested that I may have just caught him at a bad time, and when I went to his myspace page last night I saw he had posted on that very day that things weren’t going so hot and he was really depressed and stressed out. But still, I don’t think the mean things he said to me were okay under any circumstances. And I know even if he apologized, I would never be able to trust him again because he obviously wasn’t telling the truth when he said he was fine with me venting to him.
But all that aside, it was good to be able to finally get some of these feelings straight in my head. One of those feelings was embarrassment that I actually HAD been obsessive and immature, but I wasn’t identifying it as that. I was just feeling ‘bad’. Once I realized what it was, I was like, “okay, I can live with that”.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on November 10, 2006, at 14:17:24
In reply to I had a few realizations today, posted by TexasChic on November 10, 2006, at 10:16:14
This one is about cuteboy. His girlfriend looks like a freaking model. I'm talking perfect. So another realization is that I probably never really had a chance. Although, I still stand by my conviction that at the beginning there was some mutual flirting going on. Either I just took it too seriously, or he was interested and then met that girl at later date and liked her more. I'll never know and it really doesn't matter. All I do know is this all motivates me even more to try to get in shape, so if I ever see any of those people, I can laugh and tell them to kiss my shapely *ss.
-T
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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