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I had a few realizations today

Posted by TexasChic on November 10, 2006, at 10:16:14

In reply to Re: I woke up sad » corafree, posted by TexasChic on November 9, 2006, at 19:38:08

I guess I finally got past being SO upset at my so-called-friend that I was able to admit some things to myself. Part of why what he said hurt so bad is because alot of it was true. I WAS being obsessive and immature in my writings to him. But I told him a long time ago I have a tendency to do this when I write. He always said it was fine, write as much as I want, vent away. Maybe I went too far, but I know I always made a point to ask about what was going on in his life, and even gave him advice when his marriage was rocky. So I just don’t know.

A friend suggested that I may have just caught him at a bad time, and when I went to his myspace page last night I saw he had posted on that very day that things weren’t going so hot and he was really depressed and stressed out. But still, I don’t think the mean things he said to me were okay under any circumstances. And I know even if he apologized, I would never be able to trust him again because he obviously wasn’t telling the truth when he said he was fine with me venting to him.

But all that aside, it was good to be able to finally get some of these feelings straight in my head. One of those feelings was embarrassment that I actually HAD been obsessive and immature, but I wasn’t identifying it as that. I was just feeling ‘bad’. Once I realized what it was, I was like, “okay, I can live with that”.

-T

 

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poster:TexasChic thread:700738
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