Posted by corafree on November 8, 2006, at 21:28:05
In reply to Re: Maybe » Declan, posted by dreamboat_annie on November 8, 2006, at 18:12:20
If I see someone behaving as I used to behave b4 traumatic life events, I feel 'envy', but not bad envy, the kind that makes me remember who I really am and takes me back and even brings out the youth in me, the nice youth. What has happened to me is bad and has resulted in scars that cannot be seen. I am still 'all that I was and I was good', inside me, in there waiting to surface every now and then. I see someone behaving the way I wish I could, really feeling a feeling, causing certain behavior, and I am proud of that person I envy. I'm proud they are doing their best to be the best female or male they can be. I need to remember this. It used to give me comfort. A guy I was w/ might look at another girl and I'd say 'She dresses nice. I like to see girls givin' us others a good name!' When the man realized he was 'caught looking' and I answered in that manner, I think he was proud of me. It's been a long time since I've done/said. I liked that behavior in me. It's still here somewhere.
notsureunderstandtransference, cf
poster:corafree
thread:700738
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20061106/msgs/701817.html