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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by TexasChic on May 30, 2006, at 20:48:56
Note: The following pokes fun at religion, alcoholism, and homosexuals. Please don't read if this will offend you.
Homer: To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
Homer: Homer no function beer well without.
Homer: Every time I learn something new, a little of the old gets pushed outta my brain, remember that time I took that wine making course and forgot how to drive?
Marge: You were drunk!!!
Homer: And how.Homer: I like my beers cold and my homosexuals flaming.
Kang: It's true! We are aliens! But what are you going to do about it? It's a two party system! You have to vote for one of us!
Man in Crowd: Well, I'm just going to vote for a third party!
Kang: Go ahead! Throw your vote away!! HA HA HA HA!!!Homer: I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.
Homer:No beer and T.V. make Homer something something...
Marge:Go crazy?
Homer:Don't mind if I do!Homer: Hmm. I guess Bart's not to blame. He's lucky, too, because it's spanking season, and I got a hankerin' for some spankerin'.
Homer streaks through the kitchen
Patty: There goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality.Flanders: I've done everything the bible says. Even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff.
Mr. Burns: Homer, I want you to show this woman the time of her life.
Homer: Gotcha. Marge, we're getting some drive-thru, then we're doing it twice.Bart: What do you need church shoes for? Jesus wore sandals.
Homer: Well, maybe if he'd had better arch support, they wouldn't have caught him.Bart: What the hell is this?
Lisa: It's one of those campy '70s throwbacks that appeals to Generation Xers.
Bart: We need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks a little.
Marge: Well, Ralph, you sound like a very imaginative little boy.
Ralph: Waahh! She touched me in my "special area".
Posted by Deneb on May 30, 2006, at 21:47:18
In reply to Some fav Simpson's quotes - feel free to add to, posted by TexasChic on May 30, 2006, at 20:48:56
Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.Burns: I suggest you leave immediately
Homer: Or what? You'll release the dogs or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called ... "The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down."
Homer: Operator! Give me the number for 911!
Homer: Look everyone! Now that I'm a teacher I've sewn patches on my elbows.
Marge: Homer that's supposed to be leather patches on a tweed jacket, not the other way around. You've ruined a perfectly good jacket.
Homer: Incorrect, Marge. Two perfectly good jackets!Judge: Mr. Hutz, are you aware you're not wearing any pants?
Lionel Hutz: Uh, your Honor, can I call for one of those bad trial thingys?
Judge: You mean a mistrial?
Lionel Hutz: Yeah ... that's why you're the judge, and I am the law ... talkin' ... guy.ROFL
Deneb*
Posted by Emily Elisabeth on May 30, 2006, at 22:25:03
In reply to Some fav Simpson's quotes - feel free to add to, posted by TexasChic on May 30, 2006, at 20:48:56
Ralph: My cat's breath smells like catfood.
I try to work that into conversation every now and then, but if people don't know the Simpsons, they think you are pretty wacky.
Best,
EE
Posted by Declan on May 31, 2006, at 2:32:36
In reply to Some fav Simpson's quotes - feel free to add to, posted by TexasChic on May 30, 2006, at 20:48:56
This is from Happiness. Someone has committed suicide. The main character comes in asking about the dead man. 'Do you remember him, he worked here?' 'Was that the tall guy with black hair?'
'No, he hwas blond and short.'
Talking to someone else in another cubicle.
'Do you remember him? He was blond and short.'
'No, where did he work?'
Anyway this goes on for quite a while in the same vein, until, in the background we hear someone say
'something something something'
Declan
Posted by javableue on May 31, 2006, at 10:32:54
In reply to Some fav Simpson's quotes - feel free to add to, posted by TexasChic on May 30, 2006, at 20:48:56
Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.
Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."
Ralph: When I grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar.
Bart: Dad, what's a Muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know.
Posted by caraher on May 31, 2006, at 10:42:32
In reply to Re: Some fav Simpson's quotes - feel free to add, posted by javableue on May 31, 2006, at 10:32:54
Homer is about to launch a rocket...
Homer: "It's time to slip the surly bonds of gravity and punch the face of God!"
(As noted on http://www.tv.com/simpsons/she-of-little-faith/episode/98443/summary.html:
Homer is trying to quote the poem "High Flight" by John Gillespie Magee, an RCAF pilot in World War II. The poem begins, "For I have slipped the surly bonds of earth," and ends with, "Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.")
Posted by TexasChic on June 1, 2006, at 17:34:32
In reply to Re: Some fav Simpson's quotes - feel free to add, posted by caraher on May 31, 2006, at 10:42:32
I don't know the actual names of the episodes, it has nothing to do with my love of the show, I'm just bad about remembering names of anything or anybody. But one of my very favorites is the one with the 'Guatamalan Insanity Pepper' where Homer goes on a vision quest and Johnny Cash does the voice of the coyote that's his guide. Johnny Cash was so cool. I loved his cover of the Nine Inch Nails song.
Also, the one where Homer goes to hell. I think that's my favorite.
-T
Posted by zenhussy on June 2, 2006, at 11:02:33
In reply to Some fav Simpson's quotes - feel free to add to, posted by TexasChic on May 30, 2006, at 20:48:56
Homer, wearing large boxy wire under his shirt, asking Lisa.... "Does this make me look fat?"
Lisa, rolling eyes with disgust... "No. It makes you look like a tool of government oppression."
*************
prank call to Moe's.....
Moe calls out "Amanda Hugandkiss? Amanda Hugandkiss? Why can't I find 'a man to hug and kiss'?"Barney responds "Maybe your standards are too high?"
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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