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Some fav Simpson's quotes - feel free to add to

Posted by TexasChic on May 30, 2006, at 20:48:56

Note: The following pokes fun at religion, alcoholism, and homosexuals. Please don't read if this will offend you.

Homer: To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Homer: Homer no function beer well without.

Homer: Every time I learn something new, a little of the old gets pushed outta my brain, remember that time I took that wine making course and forgot how to drive?
Marge: You were drunk!!!
Homer: And how.

Homer: I like my beers cold and my homosexuals flaming.

Kang: It's true! We are aliens! But what are you going to do about it? It's a two party system! You have to vote for one of us!
Man in Crowd: Well, I'm just going to vote for a third party!
Kang: Go ahead! Throw your vote away!! HA HA HA HA!!!

Homer: I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.

Homer:No beer and T.V. make Homer something something...
Marge:Go crazy?
Homer:Don't mind if I do!

Homer: Hmm. I guess Bart's not to blame. He's lucky, too, because it's spanking season, and I got a hankerin' for some spankerin'.

Homer streaks through the kitchen
Patty: There goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality.

Flanders: I've done everything the bible says. Even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff.

Mr. Burns: Homer, I want you to show this woman the time of her life.
Homer: Gotcha. Marge, we're getting some drive-thru, then we're doing it twice.

Bart: What do you need church shoes for? Jesus wore sandals.
Homer: Well, maybe if he'd had better arch support, they wouldn't have caught him.

Bart: What the hell is this?
Lisa: It's one of those campy '70s throwbacks that appeals to Generation Xers.
Bart: We need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks a little.

Marge: Well, Ralph, you sound like a very imaginative little boy.
Ralph: Waahh! She touched me in my "special area".

 

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poster:TexasChic thread:650631
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060527/msgs/650631.html