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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by saw on January 28, 2005, at 6:29:44
I was at my son's athletics / fun day this morning. I was feeling my usual bloated self and sitting in the hot sun didn't help. Very soon my hands and feet swelled up and I looked like the michelin man. But that is besides the point. I spent a good few hours watching all the other parents. I can't give an exact estimate but I would venture a guess and say that at least 65 % of all the people there, be they parents or grandparents, whatever - are all overweight. I wonder what their self images are like. Some of the bigger and in some cases obese people, were wearing such tight and revealing clothes! It is very apparant that some of these people are comfortable in their own bodies whether they are fat or not. OTH I am sure there were many folk there, that I observed, that were going through their own inner hell because of their size. It just got me to wondering about how different people perceive themselves and accept themselves. It made me a little envious that I cannot be happy or comfortable within my own body right now. (If ever).
I looked longingly at the fit, slim and thin mom's but I would have fallen into an acceptable category. For once there were so many women so much larger than me.
Sabrina
Posted by partlycloudy on January 28, 2005, at 6:46:09
In reply to People's perception of themselves-musing again, posted by saw on January 28, 2005, at 6:29:44
I feel my best while lying down on my back.
Or floating in a pool.
As soon as gravity enters the picture I get that droopy, lumpy, slow feeling. Guess you can tell I haven't dragged myself to the gym for a while. I have read where it's good to have a workout "buddy" to keep you going. Can't say that I have one of those. A nagging husband does not count.
I also wonder what other people feel about their appearance. Especially those who wear the tight and skimpy stuff with their bits hanging out.
Posted by sunny10 on January 28, 2005, at 9:03:29
In reply to Re: People's perception of themselves-musing again » saw, posted by partlycloudy on January 28, 2005, at 6:46:09
Mostly women are taught to be their own worst enemy when it comes to how we look.
The simple fact is that most of the world's population of women do NOT wear sizes 0-12 !(American sizes)
Sabrina, in my family we are STICK skinny until about 19 (child services came to my house to make sure our mother was feeding us- they took one look at her skinny self and left with mumbled apologies), are slender until 36 (most women HATED to have me beside them out in public- I haven't managed to keep any of my friends), then POP on about 15 lbs- mine came all at once because of the Effexor (and had to replace my entire wardrobe)..... Frightening, really! Specially since the weight we gain is ALL cellulite (on stomach, thighs, even calves and arms). Truly revolting to me when I look in the mirror- sort of a slender person with too much skin that is swollen,hanging, and dimpled! (All this is even MORE revolting on my brother, I have to say...men don't usually get cellulite!)
But everyone I know tells me (when I am dressed, anyway)that they are relieved that I "finally look normal and healthy" ! Hmmm, I'm quite sure that my heart was healthier when the extra weight didn't make me run out of breath while climbing stairs, but others perception of me is COMPLETELY different than my own.
Does my experience help your theorizing? What's YOUR perception of the facts as I have represented them above (I have told you mine- I revolt myself now)....I'll bet it's not the same as mine of me!!!
-Sunny10
Posted by just so sad on January 28, 2005, at 11:26:18
In reply to Re: People's perception of themselves-musing again, posted by sunny10 on January 28, 2005, at 9:03:29
I agree with you both - what I find interesting is the things I empathize with that my friends are going through, I critize in myself - for instance, if one of them were to gain 15 lbs I would feel bad for them, but I wouldn't blame them and I would help them try to lose it in a healthy way, and in some sense love them more because of their human-ness, but if I gain 15 lbs, I'm a loser, fat, lazy, worthless, etc. etc. and I hate myself. We are so hard on ourselves, but I haven't met one woman who isn't when she has gained weight. Conditioning from early childhood I'd say - from commercials, mags, and female relatives/friends we've met along the way. Unfortunately, it still continues today...
Not quite so sad (thanks to effexor & not drinking so much??)
Posted by Angel Girl on January 28, 2005, at 14:51:37
In reply to People's perception of themselves-musing again, posted by saw on January 28, 2005, at 6:29:44
I am overweight, some from Effexor, some from Depakote and any of the other meriad of meds that I have been on but mostly it's a deliberate act on my part to protect myself. Maybe if I'm unattractive to the deviats of society, I will not be victimized again? It's my theory anyway, not that it makes me really feel any safer, I just hope that it does. However; with all that being said, I HATE it, it repulses and disgusts me. I avoid mirrors at all costs. This is a major reason why I HATE and LOATHE myself so much, body image spilling over into self image. I have tried to get the weight off as I am currently but since I haven't dealt with all my childhood traumas in therapy yet, I doubt I'll ever be successful. Also, when I encounter what I consider a crisis in my life, as I felt yesterday angering my friend and the mere thought that I would lose this friend, the first thing I do is eat, but OTOH, when I get severely depressed as that situation has left me, residing in the black abyss, I no longer want to eat anything. My GP has threatened me before for not eating, and told me he would be forced to hospitalize me if I didn't properly care for myself. So, I lie and pretend that I am. Being hospitalized is my worst nightmare.
I think that was just a little more info than you were looking for but when I'm this depressed, I tend to say exactly how I feel. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut (or in this case to stop typing).
AG (who is desperately struggling and doesn't have much energy or desire to carry on the fight anymore)
Posted by mair on January 28, 2005, at 21:29:44
In reply to Re: People's perception of themselves-musing again » saw, posted by Angel Girl on January 28, 2005, at 14:51:37
I gained alot of weight a couple of years ago when I added amitriptyline to what I was already taking. I tolerated it because it did make a difference, but it was so discouraging to feel so heavy and have to keep buying new clothes. I think I had always liked the fact that even if the rest of my life was a disaster, at least I didn't have to worry about my weight, so gaining alot of weight was tough for me to accept. Revulsion would sort of come at me in waves, so I, too, avoid the mirror. I sometimes get really down on myself for eating something fattening - weight has become so much more of an issue for me than it ever was. But I can't complain to other people because everyone says I hide it well and other people in my family are so much heavier. Last summer I dropped the amitriptyline dose way down and this fall I went off it altogher, mostly to try another drug which hopefully wouldn't have the same side effects. Well I felt really sick on this other drug and promptly lost about 8 pounds. Now I don't know what to do. I'm still too heavy but I feel better at least for not being so bloated. On the other hand, my mental state isn't great and I know it would probably help if I started up with a new drug my pdoc wants to try. I'm afraid I'll just give up on it if I start feeling bloated and fat again.
These are crummy choices - fat and ugly and feeling bloated, but at least more mentally stable or better body image but totally depressed otherwise.
Mair
Posted by Susan47 on January 29, 2005, at 10:05:04
In reply to Re: People's perception of themselves-musing again, posted by just so sad on January 28, 2005, at 11:26:18
Here's a woman who doesn't feel bad about gaining a few pounds. They're not really 'extra' though, they're necessary, as I was too thin last year now I don't care if anybody thinks I'm not thin enough I like the way I am. Well maybe toning up but that's all.
Posted by Susan47 on January 29, 2005, at 10:05:55
In reply to Re: People's perception of themselves-musing again, posted by Susan47 on January 29, 2005, at 10:05:04
Posted by Angel Girl on January 29, 2005, at 18:36:25
In reply to Re: People's perception of themselves-musing again, posted by mair on January 28, 2005, at 21:29:44
mair
Yes, there doesn't seem to be a good choice does there?
AG
> I gained alot of weight a couple of years ago when I added amitriptyline to what I was already taking. I tolerated it because it did make a difference, but it was so discouraging to feel so heavy and have to keep buying new clothes. I think I had always liked the fact that even if the rest of my life was a disaster, at least I didn't have to worry about my weight, so gaining alot of weight was tough for me to accept. Revulsion would sort of come at me in waves, so I, too, avoid the mirror. I sometimes get really down on myself for eating something fattening - weight has become so much more of an issue for me than it ever was. But I can't complain to other people because everyone says I hide it well and other people in my family are so much heavier. Last summer I dropped the amitriptyline dose way down and this fall I went off it altogher, mostly to try another drug which hopefully wouldn't have the same side effects. Well I felt really sick on this other drug and promptly lost about 8 pounds. Now I don't know what to do. I'm still too heavy but I feel better at least for not being so bloated. On the other hand, my mental state isn't great and I know it would probably help if I started up with a new drug my pdoc wants to try. I'm afraid I'll just give up on it if I start feeling bloated and fat again.
>
> These are crummy choices - fat and ugly and feeling bloated, but at least more mentally stable or better body image but totally depressed otherwise.
>
> Mair
Posted by Angel Girl on January 29, 2005, at 18:37:54
In reply to Re: People's perception of themselves-musing again, posted by Susan47 on January 29, 2005, at 10:05:04
I'm willing share some of my extra pounds with anybody who needs them. ;)
AG
Posted by anastasia56 on January 30, 2005, at 14:27:50
In reply to Re: People's perception of themselves-musing again, posted by mair on January 28, 2005, at 21:29:44
it's so true...by not looking in the mirror I've found I can avoid reality. For the time being I am on Cymbalta and I'm so nauseated all the time from it I'm not gaining any more weight. Talk about your 'good news, bad news'.
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