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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 8 to 32 of 56. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 25, 2003, at 20:44:54
In reply to Redirected: Pleasers w/men who are Controllers, posted by Dr. Bob on July 25, 2003, at 20:02:13
> Is it just a coincidence that the topic I was resurrecting was about "controlling men" and here, DB interjects, and tells us what to do, where to go, etc.
What would be the alternatives? I can sure see how that might have made it a particularly unwelcome redirect, sorry about that.
Bob
Posted by Dinah on July 25, 2003, at 21:18:14
In reply to Re: More on Pleasers and Controllers « Yankeegirl, posted by Dr. Bob on July 25, 2003, at 20:22:22
However you happen to be here. It's always nice to meet new people.
Posted by Dinah on July 25, 2003, at 21:19:02
In reply to Re: controlling men, posted by Dr. Bob on July 25, 2003, at 20:44:54
Posted by CherC68 on July 25, 2003, at 21:21:56
In reply to Re: Pleasers w/men who are Controllers, posted by Yankeegirl on July 25, 2003, at 11:28:36
Hi Susy - It's bedtime and I thank you so much for the biggest laugh I've had all day, heck all week.
It is almost 9:30 p.m. and I can't stop reading, but not wanting to type too much tonight.
There's my Yankee & Mercedes too - <hugs> and hi there all the other posters that I haven't met yet.
Gosh we need Nyia, Zinya, Theo and KDi and Willie, but Willies on Vacation, and.... okay you guys got the picture.
Love you guys,
and for real I'm going to bed this time.
Cher
Posted by CherC68 on July 25, 2003, at 21:35:35
In reply to Re: Pleasers w/men who are Controllers » Yankeegirl, posted by CherC68 on July 25, 2003, at 21:21:56
After Reading the posts, it's just not the same, maybe tomorrow this section will be more inviting, but right now, just trying to get used to coming to this section is kinda - okay - it's not kinda it's very hard.
Now, I have to switch back and forth trying to read everything so I can figure out where to put the relevant information or questions or whatever - dang, I should not inhaled so much peroxide today.
Sorry
=(
Cher
Posted by yankeegirl on July 25, 2003, at 21:37:52
In reply to Re: Welcome to Psycho-Social Babble!, posted by Dinah on July 25, 2003, at 21:18:14
> However you happen to be here. It's always nice to meet new people.
Hi Dinah! I'm here because you told me my 2 missing posts went here! Thank you, I had no idea. I'm not too literate computer=wise, all I knew to do was search on effexor, I clicked on "anyone...." and just stayed there, not even realizing there was a whole psycho... site.
My last post at Effexor was if everyone wants to switch to over here, and I see Cher is already here and I am, so maybe it's not a big deal after all to come here. We'll see.
Cher, I'm sorry, I see from the posts sent to THIS site that it was Mercedes who was really upset. I'll have to go back to Effexor to contact her I guess. Are you going to switch to over here? Yankeegirl
Posted by yankeegirl on July 25, 2003, at 22:30:15
In reply to Re: Welcome to Psycho-Social Babble!, posted by yankeegirl on July 25, 2003, at 21:37:52
Hi Dinah,
Mercedes just made a great point - we feel like the Columbia - our group all broken up into different pieces in different places.
Please answer this question...
We see that our "issues" posts are automatically being redirected to p=social. Posters are saying that if we all move over to p-social and happen to mention Effexor or other meds, then THOSE posts will automatically be redirected back to the EFFEXOR Site! Huh?
Please advise us where we can all go together and discuss medications, issues and disorders and have all the posts in one place!
Thanks, Yankeegirl
Posted by Dinah on July 25, 2003, at 22:50:33
In reply to Dinah, please advise...., posted by yankeegirl on July 25, 2003, at 22:30:15
I have no direct knowledge of the inner workings of Dr. Bob's redirect system. However, I'll give it my best shot. :)
I think Social gets a bit more latitude than the other boards. So if we mention our therapists here we don't seem to get a redirect to Psychological Babble. And if we mention that our meds are driving us nuts, we don't seem to get a redirect to Psycho-babble (medication board).
Now if you were to ask dosing questions, or specific medication inquiries, that might warrant a redirect to the medication board. But I would guess that this (Social) is your best bet.
And I hope you decide to join some of our other threads as well.
Posted by NThompson on July 25, 2003, at 23:29:07
In reply to Pleasers w/men who are Controllers « Yankeegirl, posted by Dr. Bob on July 24, 2003, at 19:19:57
Hi all... Wow, I leave for a whole 3 days and all hell breaks loose! So I see we all have a new SPOT to chat at. I can't leave you ladies alone for one minute can I. :) Hee-Hee.
Anyway, I hope you are all doing well, I went to a friends house in Newman, CA. It's about 2 hours from my house. I had fun and we painted her kitchen this beautiful red color. And I spent all Tuesday night in the Merced Hospital ER with my 2 year old son. He fell off of the slide and broke both of his bones in his wrist! He's in a cast. Needless to say the first 2 days sucked for him and now he is back to full throttle again! I am back now and was having withdrawls of getting back to hear from you all.
I was reading about this CONTROLLING MAN thing and well, when I was younger I dated a guy who verbally and physically abused me. I have been drugged, raped, beaten and have had knives up to my throat and Russian Roulette played on me. He was also very verbally abusive with the threats and how no one will ever love me but him and the putdowns and the disrespect that he gave me. I finally got rid of him after 2 years of his c**p! The problem really came after he was gone though. He was my first real boyfriend. I had no clue what a girlfriend or dating was like. I didn't know that you could tell a guy that you didn't want to sleep with him without getting hit by him. So I either stayed away or ended up in a place I didn't know how to get out of. I wasn't raped after him. But I didn't say "YES" to some of the guys I dated, But I didn't say "NO" either. I didn't know how. I was afraid to get hit again. So I tried to not let anything start, like kissing. That didn't always happen.
As far as the man I married. He is so not the romantic type, but he sure tries. His pick up line to me was, "Baby you look better than a new set of studded snow tires!" Our first date we went four wheeling in his truck. When we got to the top of Mix Canyon, we looked out over the cities below us and he turned the radio on and we danced to slow country music. It was the best date ever! How weird is this, Rhett Akins is a Country singer who has a song on his "A Thousand Memories" CD with a song on it, the first track called, "Heart to Heart" that song PERFECTLY describes my husbands and my first date to a T!
Anyway, he isn't romantic, but definately not controlling or abusive in any way. He is on the otherhand a very old fashion kind of guy. He open doors and pulls out the seat and makes sure that I am okay. He once got into an arguement with a guy who kept elbowing me at the bar and told the guy that if he didn't stop elbowing me he would kick the guys butt. I felt safe. We were at a party when a fight broke out and I almost got hit when Chad came up out of the blue and put me behind him and protected me from some jerks. But he's a good old fashion kind of guy. He told me that he didn't care if I worked inside or outside of the home, that it was up to me and that he just wanted me to be happy.
Anyway, he is not controlling, but he can be romantic when he wants. I guess that I got lucky.
Well I'm exhausted I will talk to you all tomorrow.
Love ya,
Nyia
Posted by noa on July 26, 2003, at 9:29:21
In reply to Effexor Club Hello! , posted by NThompson on July 25, 2003, at 23:29:07
Hey, a new busload of social babblers! Welcome to the neighborhood, y'all!
Posted by CherC68 on July 26, 2003, at 19:20:50
In reply to Re: Very nicely done! :) (nm) » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on July 25, 2003, at 21:19:02
Dear Dinah,
I'm sorry but I am not understanding what was so nicely done. All the girls read the response by Dr. Bob or the apology, but unless there are seven of us girls that are really super slow (I am the least intelligent or book smart of all the girls)we didn't get it. We didn't understand the apology of sorts at all.
Also, as a monitor - I've read a few of your posts and I see that you have OCD - do you put time limits on your ability to post?
The girls didn't know if you worked directly for Dr. Bob or what and seen the amount of your postings in social and there seems to be more from you than others. I think they were also worried about being in social because it makes us feel like everything we say is going to be scrutinized - and let me tell you - trying to find our posts is very hard.
I do thank you for your trying to make us understand how things worked - and I doubt this posting is going to work. Looks like for the first time since I've been on psycho babble - my name and password are gone - have I been booted? I shall soon see.
If you are just like the rest of us girls, our apologies to you, we do not want to make you feel bad or disrespect your "social" space. If you are just a worker for Dr. Bob - then hopefully you could understand - there are a lot of messed-up unhappy girls because of the last few days.Cher
Posted by Dinah on July 26, 2003, at 20:33:24
In reply to Re: Very nicely done! :) » Dinah, posted by CherC68 on July 26, 2003, at 19:20:50
So will refrain from replying.
Posted by jane d on July 26, 2003, at 20:50:15
In reply to Re: Very nicely done! :) » Dinah, posted by CherC68 on July 26, 2003, at 19:20:50
> Dear Dinah,
>
> I'm sorry but I am not understanding what was so nicely done. All the girls read the response by Dr. Bob or the apology, but unless there are seven of us girls that are really super slow (I am the least intelligent or book smart of all the girls)we didn't get it. We didn't understand the apology of sorts at all.
>
> Also, as a monitor - I've read a few of your posts and I see that you have OCD - do you put time limits on your ability to post?
>
> The girls didn't know if you worked directly for Dr. Bob or what and seen the amount of your postings in social and there seems to be more from you than others. I think they were also worried about being in social because it makes us feel like everything we say is going to be scrutinized - and let me tell you - trying to find our posts is very hard.
>
> I do thank you for your trying to make us understand how things worked - and I doubt this posting is going to work. Looks like for the first time since I've been on psycho babble - my name and password are gone - have I been booted? I shall soon see.
>
>
> If you are just like the rest of us girls, our apologies to you, we do not want to make you feel bad or disrespect your "social" space. If you are just a worker for Dr. Bob - then hopefully you could understand - there are a lot of messed-up unhappy girls because of the last few days.
>
> CherCher,
I'd also like to welcome you and your friends to this board. I think that if you have a little patience many of the things that confuse you now will become clear. Many of us had to spend a lot of time reading the other posts when we first started posting to figure out what was happening here and how things worked.One thing you said did worry me a little bit however:
"being in social because it makes us feel like everything we say is going to be scrutinized". Don't forget that all of these boards are public boards - and that everything you say on them will be read by many people now and in future years. Don't be misled into thinking you are in a private place just because few people are answering your posts. There are tons of private groups on the internet (and it takes minutes to create your own) but this isn't one of them. To my mind that's one of the things that makes it great.Jane
Posted by jane d on July 26, 2003, at 20:56:43
In reply to Re: I am very hurt by that post....., posted by Dinah on July 26, 2003, at 20:33:24
You tried to do what needed to be done when nobody else was doing it. That's always appreciated. Next time it will be someone else's turn. - jane
Posted by CherC68 on July 26, 2003, at 21:09:58
In reply to Re: Don't be! » Dinah, posted by jane d on July 26, 2003, at 20:56:43
Dear Dinah,
I know what you did was a very nice thing, and I do appreciate your help.
It's just that some people thought you actually worked for Dr. Bob and didn't understand that as a monitor - you are also here for understanding too.
I read only a few of your posts to us and thought the same thing as well until I came across the OCD post. I clean my house and brush my teeth sometimes up to 10 times a day, I wash my hands too much and I repeat myself over & over - I wake and do the same things - any variance in my day - blows me a part.
I didn't have time to try going over all your posts but I only know one person in my life to have OCD except my brother who washes his hands too much.
I was amazed that you share these things in public and are a monitor. You're sharing is helping in two ways, helping other people like me who have ocd know we're not alone and by being a monitor and making sure everything is civil. I commend you for it.You seem 95% more optomistic in life than I am and that's just the few posts you did recently with trying to help us girls understand - and just the few posts in Babble that I have read regarding your personal life. Since you are so optimistic - maybe you felt that Dr. Bob's apology or explanation was going to make us feel better - I for one am more pessimistic and didn't quite get it. I wish I was more optomistic (sorry - I am probably spelling it wrong too huh - can't be it and can't spell it either).
Again, I am so sorry and did not mean to offend you. I am not sure if I addressed all the things that have hurt you, but I may be mean to guys that tick me off in real life, but I would never ever want to hurt you on purpose Dinah.
Big Hugs and again,
I'm Sorry.
Cher
Posted by CherC68 on July 26, 2003, at 21:22:42
In reply to Re: Another welcome » CherC68, posted by jane d on July 26, 2003, at 20:50:15
Dear Jane,
Thank you for the Welcome.
What I meant was scrutinized is by being afraid to talk about religion - because there is a faith babble - or if we talk about our med's its going to be rerouted to the medical section of babble - there's so many babbles on here, that the girls in the Effexor section formed a bond - there are about 10 of us that post regularly. We welcomed others and we talked about our meds and fears & hopes etc.
I guess a message by one of the girls getting rerouted freaked me and most of the others out.
Scrutinized means to me - dont' talk about faith in social - don't talk about meds in social - don't talk about social things in meds.
That's what I meant.
Also, please understand that many of us girls are emaling to each other now - some of us before this rerouting took place and some of us are new at it I've had about 20 babble posts today and 70 emails from the girls. We miss our Babble - and we're tired because we took this so emotionally hard.
Thanks for listening.
Hugs,
Cher
Posted by Dinah on July 26, 2003, at 21:46:30
In reply to Re: I'm Sorry, posted by CherC68 on July 26, 2003, at 21:09:58
Thanks for the apology, Cher. No, I don't work for Dr. Bob in any way. I'm just a poster who really loves Babble and volunteered to help out when he's unavailable. However, my involvement as a deputy is minimal. This is Dr. Bob's board. Almost all of my many posts are made by me as a fellow poster. If I am acting as deputy, I am clear to say so.
I suppose that being new here, and not being familiar with Dr. Bob's posting style, you aren't aware that that was really a very nice apology, Dr. Bob style. So perhaps you misinterpreted my positive reinforcement to him as being something negative towards you all.
Optimistic is not a word that I see very often applied to me. But I do try to see the best in people.
No hard feelings. I hope you come to find to find Babble as supportive a place as I have.
Dinah
Posted by noa on July 26, 2003, at 22:16:32
In reply to Re: Very nicely done! :) » Dinah, posted by CherC68 on July 26, 2003, at 19:20:50
Cher--sometimes if you don't see your name and password in the posting form, it is just because the cookies have been erased from your computer or you are at a new computer. Could that be what happened?
Your post did come through.
Dinah is just a participant who has volunteered to help Dr. Bob (he asked for help). I think the reason there are so many posts from her right now is she was really trying to help y'all understand how this site works.
I really suggest taking some time to read the FAQs page--it explains the deputy moderator bit, and many other things about this site.
I am glad y'all did find your way here. It is a good board and we like having new people.
Posted by noa on July 26, 2003, at 22:27:38
In reply to Re: I'm Sorry » CherC68, posted by Dinah on July 26, 2003, at 21:46:30
Cher,
It may seem rigid how these boards are divided up. Someone mentioning religion here isn't going to get them redirected. But if a discussion ensues that is mainly about religion, yes, it will be redirected. That is because of the history of what has happened with religious discussions--they tend to get very heated very fast. So, a new board focusing on religion/faith seemed to help. Although there are still issues that arise sometimes with the faith board, because it seems easy to slip into saying things that make other people feel put down for their beliefs, etc.
The reason for the separation of the boards has to do with the high volume of posts. It can be very confusing to sort through posts if you are someone looking for medication info and there are a lot of posts that are more social in nature, and vice versa.
Medication does sometimes get talked about here but if it is really about the meds per se, it will get redirected.
I hope the confusion won't scare the "effexor club" off from being part of the PBSocial community!
Posted by NThompson on July 27, 2003, at 13:15:03
In reply to Re: Effexor Club Hello! Welcome, posted by noa on July 26, 2003, at 9:29:21
Good Morning Everyone,
I just wanted to share my views and opinions on the subject...
I actually don't care which psycho babble we need to go to because the truth is I am glad you are all here! At a time in which I was in an extremely dark place, somehow I found you all. I am grateful for that. You were the light I needed to see to find my way out.
All of you have given me support and advice at times that I needed it. And you all allowed me to have a voice and IDENTITY again.
I know most of you girls(Effexor Club) don't know Dinah, but while I was searching Psycho Babbles I have posted with Dinah a few times and she has been nothing but encouraging. I did see her post to Dr. Bob, and yes to us it was a bit confusing, and I took it as that maybe she was suggesting that he did a good job trying to start the transaction of moving us to social.
I do want to be able to talk about anything that is effecting me. That is part of the reason that I came to this website. To understant my depression and medications that is all foreign to me. Ironic huh, I have been depressed for years and I know nothing about it! And if I have any problems or stress in my life, that effects my depression which in turns turns into my meds issuse because....IS IT WORKING?! So I know that we want to talk about day to day things. And I encourage it. I have many friends and family...however, not one of them understands what I'm going through. So I don't have anyone to talk to. I feel as though I have great "old" (not referring to anyone's age) friends.
I want to keep talking to you all. And for those who are new to the site and have been reading these posts, it is probably blowing your mind. However, keep posting, these sites are wonderful. The support you get here is great. This was in part a misunderstanding and so far everyone on this site is someone in which I would want as a friend.
Keep up the support,
Nyia
Posted by gabbix2 on July 27, 2003, at 14:03:44
In reply to Everyone please read, posted by NThompson on July 27, 2003, at 13:15:03
Man am I tuned out..
Posted by CherC68 on July 27, 2003, at 15:56:38
In reply to What is the Effexor Club?? » NThompson, posted by gabbix2 on July 27, 2003, at 14:03:44
Sorry Gabbix2 - The Effexor Club was a name one of the posters came up with because we had been posting in Psycho Babble (the medicine part of babble) under the Effexor section for a while now. It was a group of people and we had gotten to know each other through postings.
Since some of us are not on Effexor anymore and since we got to know each other and give so much support to each other - we started talking more about our personal lives instead of talking about the medicines we were on.
Dr. Bob had redirected our posts to Social Babble and many of us could not find our posts - and some had posts that could not be responded to because we couldn't find it.
When this happened it turned many of our worlds upside down - we were used to posting in a certain section, had posts out with no response and it seemed like our bond had been broken.
Don't get me wrong, any newcomers to posting in the original Effexor section was more than welcome and we did our best to help answer questions and include them at all times. This was not a sorority or an exclusive club.
Believe me, I bet you that there is not one person who posts on Babble that really want to be here. We would rather be fine, no meds, no depression, no anxiety, no crisis, no mental crap, but, we have all those and we loved coming to Babble every single day and hear from each other.
The move to social babble was too much for most of us to take. The redirect in many of our eyes felt like rejection.
Our heels are cooling a bit now, and we are gathering our thoughts and don't want to loose the bond we had. Also, a few girls stated that they feel bad that there are others in the original Babble that are not going to benefit from our help.
It's not exclusive, its just that it may take us time to adjust to coming to "Social" babble.
I've been looking through social babble and notice several postings by the same people and that's exactly what we had - but in Psycho Babble - not Social Babble.
I hope this clarifies it a bit for you - and want you to know that it wasn't really an Effexor Club, I'm not on Effexor any longer, but it was just a bond of posters helping each other by listening, caring and offering suggestions whether it be about the medicine, about therapy or lack thereof and of personal crisis.
Take Care,
Cher
Posted by gabbix2 on July 27, 2003, at 16:08:58
In reply to Re: What is the Effexor Club?? » gabbix2, posted by CherC68 on July 27, 2003, at 15:56:38
I was on Effexor.
And if the pills had feelings I would stab one with a pin just to hear it scream.
It wasn't a good match ; 0
Thanks for clearing that up I was lost.
Welcome.
Posted by NThompson on July 28, 2003, at 11:22:35
In reply to What is the Effexor Club?? » NThompson, posted by gabbix2 on July 27, 2003, at 14:03:44
gabbix2,
Hi there. I think Cher pretty much summed it up. We have all formed a bond of friendship with each other not just support. And when Dr. Bob told up that we had to go somewhere else...Well it felt like a slap in the face. I don't agree with Dr. Bob and I am pretty upset with him. But I don't want my being upset with him discourage others from receiving the support they need from these sites. I found it and it has helped me 100%. To let me know that I'm not alone.
We all (I) felt as if Dr. Bob was telling us that we can post what side effects we had, but can't receive the support we needed to get through them. Anyway, the "effexor club" is a loosely used term because, there really isn't a club, just some friends, and we all can use more friends.
I hope your support and help are welcomed warmly.
NThompson
Posted by KimberlyDi on July 28, 2003, at 17:28:33
In reply to Re: huh » CherC68, posted by CherC68 on July 25, 2003, at 21:35:35
Honestly, Effexor-ites, I've been wondering how long it would be before DrBob would redirect us. I always tried to insert SOMETHING about a med but face it, we were becoming more Emotional Support for each other instead of sharing our experience with AD's. I think we can be friends here also, and also lurk in the other to find new recruits for our Club. We aren't an exclusive club, but I think we all bonded.
Missed you guys. I've been offline since 7/24/03 pm.
KDi in TX> After Reading the posts, it's just not the same, maybe tomorrow this section will be more inviting, but right now, just trying to get used to coming to this section is kinda - okay - it's not kinda it's very hard.
>
> Now, I have to switch back and forth trying to read everything so I can figure out where to put the relevant information or questions or whatever - dang, I should not inhaled so much peroxide today.
>
> Sorry
> =(
> Cher
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