Posted by NThompson on July 25, 2003, at 23:29:07
In reply to Pleasers w/men who are Controllers « Yankeegirl, posted by Dr. Bob on July 24, 2003, at 19:19:57
Hi all... Wow, I leave for a whole 3 days and all hell breaks loose! So I see we all have a new SPOT to chat at. I can't leave you ladies alone for one minute can I. :) Hee-Hee.
Anyway, I hope you are all doing well, I went to a friends house in Newman, CA. It's about 2 hours from my house. I had fun and we painted her kitchen this beautiful red color. And I spent all Tuesday night in the Merced Hospital ER with my 2 year old son. He fell off of the slide and broke both of his bones in his wrist! He's in a cast. Needless to say the first 2 days sucked for him and now he is back to full throttle again! I am back now and was having withdrawls of getting back to hear from you all.
I was reading about this CONTROLLING MAN thing and well, when I was younger I dated a guy who verbally and physically abused me. I have been drugged, raped, beaten and have had knives up to my throat and Russian Roulette played on me. He was also very verbally abusive with the threats and how no one will ever love me but him and the putdowns and the disrespect that he gave me. I finally got rid of him after 2 years of his c**p! The problem really came after he was gone though. He was my first real boyfriend. I had no clue what a girlfriend or dating was like. I didn't know that you could tell a guy that you didn't want to sleep with him without getting hit by him. So I either stayed away or ended up in a place I didn't know how to get out of. I wasn't raped after him. But I didn't say "YES" to some of the guys I dated, But I didn't say "NO" either. I didn't know how. I was afraid to get hit again. So I tried to not let anything start, like kissing. That didn't always happen.
As far as the man I married. He is so not the romantic type, but he sure tries. His pick up line to me was, "Baby you look better than a new set of studded snow tires!" Our first date we went four wheeling in his truck. When we got to the top of Mix Canyon, we looked out over the cities below us and he turned the radio on and we danced to slow country music. It was the best date ever! How weird is this, Rhett Akins is a Country singer who has a song on his "A Thousand Memories" CD with a song on it, the first track called, "Heart to Heart" that song PERFECTLY describes my husbands and my first date to a T!
Anyway, he isn't romantic, but definately not controlling or abusive in any way. He is on the otherhand a very old fashion kind of guy. He open doors and pulls out the seat and makes sure that I am okay. He once got into an arguement with a guy who kept elbowing me at the bar and told the guy that if he didn't stop elbowing me he would kick the guys butt. I felt safe. We were at a party when a fight broke out and I almost got hit when Chad came up out of the blue and put me behind him and protected me from some jerks. But he's a good old fashion kind of guy. He told me that he didn't care if I worked inside or outside of the home, that it was up to me and that he just wanted me to be happy.
Anyway, he is not controlling, but he can be romantic when he wants. I guess that I got lucky.
Well I'm exhausted I will talk to you all tomorrow.
Love ya,
Nyia
poster:NThompson
thread:244989
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030719/msgs/245379.html