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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Angel4u2003 on March 5, 2003, at 11:57:21
I am a single mother of 4. I have several things that seem to bother me. I cannot hold a job or a relationship. I get images in my head that are really scary. Most of them are harming myself. I can go years without walking out my front door. I have a hard time expressing love, even to my children. I cannot stand one thing out of place and i have to have at least 2 objects. If i have just 1 of something or 5, i have to either toss 1 or get another. I almost freak at the thought of sex most times. I get panic attacks at the thought of opening my curtains. I always keep myself covered while in the tub or anytime i am naked. I fear there is a camera hidden somewhere in the apartment. I can't stand it! With all the fear i have, i am a prisoner in my mind and body. I am sure i have not told all that i feel and go through day by day, but this is a beginning and i am lost on what to do.
Posted by kb on March 5, 2003, at 13:25:40
In reply to mental illness?, posted by Angel4u2003 on March 5, 2003, at 11:57:21
The symptoms you describe are treatable - you don't have to suffer with them! But first you have to bring yourself to go out and find a good psychiatrist that you trust (and probably also a therapist). Not an easy task, but it can be done.
Posted by Angel4u2003 on March 5, 2003, at 14:26:34
In reply to mental illness?, posted by Angel4u2003 on March 5, 2003, at 11:57:21
Easier said than done. I have several doctors I was seeing. In June, I had my gallbladder removed, In August, I had my left ovary removed because of a cyst that would not respond to treament and kept growing. Since then i have found out that I have yet another cyst on my right ovary. I have bad palpitations, because of an extra electrical pathway. That requires surgery to fix. A nerologist sorry it is spelled wrong, anyways he wanted me checked for Lupus, diabetes, arthiritis. Well i get the appointments set up and find out at the time i go for the appointment, i no longer have insurance. Now none of my doctors will see me without some type of payment. I have no job now. I developes tendonitis in my hips that also have not responded to treatment and only getting worse. I have notised in the last few months my teeth going bad. I am up all hours of the night in pain. All this has my mind working over time with worry. I have went to the state for help. I need a doctors note on my current condition. None of my doctors will write an update since they have not seen me in a few months. What am i to do? JUST LIE IN BED AND DIE?
Posted by justyourlaugh on March 5, 2003, at 22:11:18
In reply to Re: mental illness?, posted by Angel4u2003 on March 5, 2003, at 14:26:34
hi new friend,
i have little experience with alot of which you speak,but also have no glalblatter, mentally ill and cant spell!
ha ha,
vent,
spell,
get it out,
we are here to listen
we wont judge
build it and it will come
jyl
Posted by Angel4u2003 on March 6, 2003, at 8:29:38
In reply to ange » Angel4u2003, posted by justyourlaugh on March 5, 2003, at 22:11:18
I thank you so much for your kindness! I just feel like a lost cause. I know that a lot of what i feel is because of the way i was raised. There was so many men in and out of my mother's home. There was drinking, drugs of all sorts, and the many beatings i received. My mother was a very lonely woman. She to was a single mother of 4. She tried very hard to find a man to be a daddy to us kids. She worked 2-3 jobs to support us. With the frustration of working hard, not only to provide for us financialy but to find us a father, she took her hard work out on me. I do not hate my mother for what she has done to me, because i know she done the best she could. Which has made me a better mother to my own kids. I am just so scared to face people. Sometimes when i am in a certain situation, i get a flash back of a piece of my child hood. Then i freak and can't continue in my current task. There is just so much i can vent at a time, so i will end this for now. Thank you for your kind words.
Posted by justyourlaugh on March 6, 2003, at 9:31:52
In reply to Re: ange, posted by Angel4u2003 on March 6, 2003, at 8:29:38
i was raised in a family of 4 kids too.
i am a mom as well
are you my sister?
jyl
glad to see you posting..
Posted by tina on March 6, 2003, at 9:40:11
In reply to Re: ange » Angel4u2003, posted by justyourlaugh on March 6, 2003, at 9:31:52
there is definitely help out there for you. I hate that you can't get it because of the insurance issue. Post traumatic stress disorder wreaks havoc on a life and I so wish you could get the help you need. Keep trying, that's all I can really say. You've made it this far in your life, don't give up.
sending warm thoughts
tina
Posted by Angel4u2003 on March 6, 2003, at 10:40:57
In reply to Re: angel4u2003, posted by tina on March 6, 2003, at 9:40:11
I am in a relationship that i have been in for almost a year now. I have told my boyfriend a little about my problems. I have not went into details with him. I am worried he will not understand. I feel that i need to tell him, because he has asked me to marry him. I am just so scared that he will not see me in the same way as he does now or he may fear for his 3 childrens lives, because of this illness i feel i may have. I not only have these thoughts of harming myself, but i have them with my children. I would never harm them, no matter the thought in my head. I have had bad thoughts all my live and not one time have i acted on them. I am in control of that part, just not the social part. I will continue to post, because just the few times someone has replied, i have felt better. I feel more at ease and i feel that each time a little of what i feel is being held in your hands, to help me out. I want to thank everyone for taking the time to talk to me and give me advice and all in all helping me feel a little better each day that passes.
Posted by justyourlaugh on March 6, 2003, at 11:47:56
In reply to Re: angel4u2003, posted by Angel4u2003 on March 6, 2003, at 10:40:57
i was lucky..
my hubby hired me at the restaurant he was managing 16 years ago..
i was the mysterious "fucke* up chick behind the bar..,,he knew what he was getting into..we went to the same small town high school..
twisted people are more fun....
oh happy day
jyl
Posted by Angel4u2003 on March 6, 2003, at 12:14:20
In reply to Re: angel4u2003 » Angel4u2003, posted by justyourlaugh on March 6, 2003, at 11:47:56
LUCK!!!! Lets just say if it was not for bad luck, i would not have any luck at all. There is a family history of mental illness, but i think what may have triggered mine was when my mother married a punk. He was way younger than her. He was an alcoholic and a drug user. Yeah, i to became one of those. (at the age of 11-12). As time passed my mother and step father began to fight a lot. Mainly because my brother and i would not call him dad. My brother and i was old enough that we did not feel comfortable with calling him dad. After all we had seen our father just a few time in a young lives. However our two baby sister's were still very young and started calling him dad right away. I remember back when i was 14-15 years old and i could hear them fighting. My mother told him that she loved him so much, she would kill us to keep him. That so scared me. In the very next momment i could hear my mother in the kitchen. With the clang of the knife drawer, i knew just what was going to happen. I jumped out of bed and hid under it. Just as my mother reached my room, my step dad stopped her. I could see the shine of the knife in her hand and from then on, i have lived in fear. I know to a lot of you this may seem so unreal, but God as m witness it is a true fact. After that happened i ran away several time, only to be caught every time. The state even took me away because i had went to the school and told them just what had been going on. My mother rant and raved and the state sent me back home. I started defending myself after years of beatings. At the age of 15, just one month fron turning 16 i was married. (long story)
Posted by justyourlaugh on March 6, 2003, at 13:33:18
In reply to Re: angel4u2003, posted by Angel4u2003 on March 6, 2003, at 12:14:20
i hope it is help you to get it some of it out,
i know that it certainly has helped me,
knowing that my"crap"is laying around in a journal feels really unsafe to me..like cant let it go...
i like long stories...
i marrried at 20-belly full of baby...
inlaws full of loveand open arms-not...
jyl
Posted by Angel4u2003 on March 6, 2003, at 14:07:24
In reply to Re: angel4u2003 » Angel4u2003, posted by justyourlaugh on March 6, 2003, at 13:33:18
I am real ashamed of some of the thing that has happened to me in my life and for some i have caused in my life. I honestly do not feel comfortable with typing my lifes history here, but i really needed to tell someone just how dead i feel. I could honestly become a millionare or even a billionare if i wrote a book about my life. I have honestly tried to write the book. Every time i proof read it, i noticed that i have left out many events thoughout several years. thank you so much for sharing pieces of your life with me as well. thank you justyourlaugh!
Posted by justyourlaugh on March 6, 2003, at 14:53:25
In reply to Re: angel4u2003, posted by Angel4u2003 on March 6, 2003, at 14:07:24
justyourlaugh@aol.com
anytime
jyl
Posted by kb on March 6, 2003, at 15:22:04
In reply to Re: mental illness?, posted by Angel4u2003 on March 5, 2003, at 14:26:34
Where are you, geographically? I might be able to make some insurance suggestions but they vary from place to place.
Posted by Angel4u2003 on March 6, 2003, at 15:34:18
In reply to Re: mental illness? » Angel4u2003, posted by kb on March 6, 2003, at 15:22:04
I am in Austin Texas!
Posted by Angel4u2003 on March 7, 2003, at 11:24:06
In reply to Re: mental illness?, posted by Angel4u2003 on March 6, 2003, at 15:34:18
Could things get any worse? Now there is a cut in the medicaid program!!!! I now know for sure that there is no hope of me ever getting the medical problems i now have cured! What is wrong with this country? When it rains, it pours and that is the truth.
This is the end of the thread.
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