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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on January 13, 2003, at 18:02:26
Didn't you have an appointment with your therapist today? Were you able to articulate your disappointment with him, and tell him about your new arrangements?
Posted by Miller on January 13, 2003, at 18:43:20
In reply to Miller, How did it go today?, posted by Dinah on January 13, 2003, at 18:02:26
Dinah,
I SWEAR this is no joke!! He yawned like 5 times while I was there. So, in my mind, when I walked in I was nervous and scared and didn't think I could go through with it. I was thinking about faxing him or leaving a message...
So, I begin by telling him that I was so hurt and disappointed about him not taking this leave of mine seriously. I told him, straight out, that I have 3 weeks to get my life together. I don't expect him to devote each hour of those 3 weeks to me... During this emotional (and scary) speach of mine, he yawned! So, the appointment went.
Believe it or not, I think it is FUNNY!!!! Last night with my online shrink, we had a really profound and emotional exchange. For the first time in years, I was sobbing. I was crying FOR ME. I think the strength of knowing there is someone capable of helping me made today much easier, with or without yawns!!!!
Thanks for asking Dinah. I am feeling much better as far as suicide goes. I am having a hard time dealing with all of these emotions I have, but not in a desperate way.
Please tell me you are doing well. I am so glad you are still here. WHen everyone was being blocked or leaving, I was very concerned about if you would stay or not. I am glad to see some people come back. I hope Beardy does.
Thank you for caring enough to ask.
-Miller
Posted by Dinah on January 13, 2003, at 19:50:53
In reply to Re: Miller, How did it go today? » Dinah, posted by Miller on January 13, 2003, at 18:43:20
He had nothing to say about disappointing you? Then I must confess he does not seem to be the proper therapist for you. My therapist has disappointed me dozens of times, as is natural in any relationship (especially such a lop sided one). But he always took my distress seriously and talked it through with me.
I would be less than honest, though, if I didn't echo some of the concern that others expressed. You seem to be becoming very vulnerable very quickly to the online psychologist who I believe you just met? I would hate to see you hurt again. Your mention to Lou of having recently come to understand perfect love gave me a twinge of concern. I don't mean to say that anything is wrong. I hope he/she is as wonderful as you percieve. Just be careful, Miller, dear.
As to the recent dustup causing me to leave, I'm not so easy to be rid of. :) I have lived through far larger conflicts on the board, although admittedly I have come and gone more than a few times. But I have a relationship with the board itself that is healthier than it once was, I think.
Take care of yourself Miller. You can do it better than anyone else.
Dinah
Posted by Miller on January 13, 2003, at 20:28:17
In reply to Re: Miller, How did it go today? » Miller, posted by Dinah on January 13, 2003, at 19:50:53
Dinah,
Your concern for me brought tears to my eyes. I understand you are concerned for me. But, I need someone to help me. The online shrink is the only one doing that. I can't be alone. I wish people would understand that. I can't be alone with myself and my feelings. I am scared to death. I am miserable with myself. I have no choice but to put my trust into theonly person who will listen to me. I really believe he is helping me.If nothing else, his bargain kept me alive this weekend. Thank you for worrying about me. I have to say, I see this online shrink as my last resort. I am too tired to search the universe for someone who cares. I approached him for help. He is giving it. He listens and understands. He explains things and guides me. Noone has EVER done that for me before.
Let's just keep our fingers crossed that he is who I believe him to be.
Thank you.
-Miller
Posted by Dinah on January 13, 2003, at 20:59:43
In reply to Re: Miller, How did it go today? » Dinah, posted by Miller on January 13, 2003, at 20:28:17
God, Miller, I hope so. You don't have to search the universe for those who care, you know. You can start right here.
It scares me that you are putting your entire future in one person's hands. I do hope that he isn't encouraging your total reliance on him. That seems scary somehow. Do take care, and keep posting here to let us know how you're doing.
Dinah
Posted by mikhail99 on January 13, 2003, at 21:16:01
In reply to Re: Miller, How did it go today? » Dinah, posted by Miller on January 13, 2003, at 20:28:17
> Dinah,
> Your concern for me brought tears to my eyes. I understand you are concerned for me. But, I need someone to help me. The online shrink is the only one doing that. I can't be alone. I wish people would understand that. I can't be alone with myself and my feelings. I am scared to death. I am miserable with myself. I have no choice but to put my trust into theonly person who will listen to me. I really believe he is helping me.
>Hey Miller, I hope you don't mind me jumping in here! I know what you mean about being alone with your feelings and I'm glad this online therapist has given you strength to keep yourself alive. As I was reading your posts, I was wondering if the fact that this guy is online and someone you don't have to face yet you can communicate with, maybe that's all you can be comfortable with right now. I think Dinah is correct in voicing her concerns about who this person is and what they are expecting of you but I also wonder if it isn't so different from what we do here on these boards? Just a thought...
> If nothing else, his bargain kept me alive this weekend. Thank you for worrying about me. I have to say, I see this online shrink as my last resort. I am too tired to search the universe for someone who cares. I approached him for help. He is giving it. He listens and understands. He explains things and guides me. Noone has EVER done that for me before.
>
> Let's just keep our fingers crossed that he is who I believe him to be.
>
> Thank you.
>
> -Miller
>Hang in there Miller, you seem to be on a very positive road right now and that's so important! It's wonderful to hear you sound optimistic about things too. I know you can get there!
Take care,
Mik
Posted by Dinah on January 13, 2003, at 21:25:07
In reply to Re: Miller, How did it go today? » Miller, posted by mikhail99 on January 13, 2003, at 21:16:01
I really don't mean to sound negative or pessimistic, Miller. I was just worried. I hope it all goes well for you.
Dinah
Posted by Miller on January 14, 2003, at 1:05:58
In reply to Re: Miller, How did it go today?, posted by Dinah on January 13, 2003, at 20:59:43
Dinah,
Don't feel bad for being concerned. I took it as it wes meant, an act of kindness.
I know what you mean about putting my life in one man's hands. I do have a history of hooking up with the wrong people. However, I really believe this is different. I think he is more of a man doing this through the goodness of his heart.
I'll tell you how I found him, maybe that will help a bit.
I was surfing the 'net for info on depression, suicide, anxiety, etc. I went to his website. It is quite long and detailed. So I would revisit it several times over a couple of days. When I had read through everything, there was a place to give suggestions. So, I did. I simply stated that I was looking for more comprehensive information as to how to more clearly communicate with a psychologist.
He sent a reply saying all of the information can be found, but in varying places on the website. He asked me to write a few detailed questions as to what, exactly, I wanted to know. So I did. I sent four questions.
He set up another page on his website for those questions and he answered them. He didn't answer them in the "clinical", FYI, type of way, he REALLY answered them as they pertained to me.
I think that was in September or October.
After my December suicide attempt, I was at a loss when I woke up. So, I took a chance and emailed him as to how I was so frustrated with the advise of "find something to look forward to" given to me by my shrink. So, he clearly stated that he understood my hurt and frusrtation, but I needed to objectively decide if I had actually told my shrink the depth of my despair. He told me to call my shrink, leave a message if I have to, call a crisis line if I needed to talk, and to consider checking myself into a hospital if I needed to keep "safe". I followed all of his advise. I was truly grateful to him for "being there". At the end of that email he had said something to the effect of, listening to what the "symptoms are trying to tell me" in an attempt to discover why I am so unhappy. That phrase stayed in my mind.
So, after my shrink was an idiot to me again, I emailed him back. He has not tried to isolate me from anyone else, in fact, just the opposite. He has been very supportive in the fact that my (family) doctor has referred me to a psychiatrist and he suggested group therapy. I think he just wants to help me.
Anyway, thank you for your concern. I understand being cautious. Let's just hope, in this case, it is founded.
-Miller
Posted by Miller on January 14, 2003, at 1:11:11
In reply to Re: Miller, How did it go today? » Miller, posted by mikhail99 on January 13, 2003, at 21:16:01
Hi Mik,
Of course I don't mind you jumping in!! I was thinking about what you said about the shrink being online. Maybe you are right. It is easier for me to be honest when I am not feeling cornered or backed into a cave, so to speak. I think that could be a big reason for my attraction to this situation. I am able to think everything through. It also helps to have a written communication that I am able to keep referring to. Unlike office visits, if I forget it, it is gone.
I honestly believe he is helping me. That is what I need right now. I appreciate the fact that he has taken his time to help me. He has been honest and straightforward. I feel listened to and guided. Thus, I am relieved.
Thanks for caring Mik!!
-Miller
Posted by Kam on January 14, 2003, at 7:35:47
In reply to Miller, How did it go today?, posted by Dinah on January 13, 2003, at 18:02:26
Miller,
If I may jump in as well, your posts have moved me and saddened me, the fact that your shrink doesn't have from what I see a "decent" bedside manner, disgusts me to say the least. I feel for you and am curious have you tried to see others? I can relate as well to the online chats, I am much more shall I say secure putting things in writing, I have trouble face to face a lot of times. But if you could only find a shrink that can make you feel secure with that, which hello is what they are supposed to be there for, I feel you would be in a much better way. I wish you all the luck in the world, and in response to the one post, yes I am fairly new here and almost left due to all the whoopla, but have come to see there are MANY wonderful supportive people here and they obviously care for you deeply and whenever you feel hopeless or need to chat please continue to use this resource. None of us that I know of are licensed therapist, but for me anyway sometimes you just want the advice and support from "friends".
May your pain and sorrow someday disappear!!
many hugs to you,
Kam
Posted by justyourlaugh on January 14, 2003, at 8:32:00
In reply to Re: Miller, How did it go today?, posted by Kam on January 14, 2003, at 7:35:47
good morning-
kam you are very right about support from friends-even if we cant see each other.i only have invisable friends .
thats seems to be all i want right now.
oh my-thats a lie-i have a wonderful best friend in my husband of 13 years.
he certainly is an ass sometimes but holy moly so am i.he wants me forever anyway.
he goes to the middle east in 2 weeks!ahhhh
i feel better today.
hope i am not spinning into mania.oh my
have to go play lego with the wee one-
you all have a good day-peace
thank you miller for sharing your sunshine
jyl
Posted by Dinah on January 14, 2003, at 9:34:39
In reply to Re: Miller, How did it go today? » Dinah, posted by Miller on January 14, 2003, at 1:05:58
It sounds as if you've known him longer than was my impression, and I'm glad he isn't trying to isolate you from other alternatives.
Miller, sweetie, I want you to know that I wasn't suggesting caution because I didn't trust your judgement. I just worry whenever anyone (myself included - because if you'll recall I have this problem myself) has all their eggs in one basket. I hope you can use this time to build up a social support system, group therapy, psychiatrist, whatever you might need so that if by any chance this doesn't work out, you won't feel that you have no other options. Your online shrink suggested this and I think it's a great suggestion. While you're feeling cared for and safe with him is a wonderful time to reach out and build safety elsewhere as well. It doesn't mean you can't continue to feel safe with him, it's just safer for you to have more than one place to feel safe.
Dinah
Posted by Dinah on January 14, 2003, at 9:40:41
In reply to happy tuesday, posted by justyourlaugh on January 14, 2003, at 8:32:00
Is your husband with the service, jyl? Or is he going to the Middle East as a civilian.
Either way, it's got to be hard for you with the kids.
Posted by Miller on January 14, 2003, at 12:44:33
In reply to Re: Miller, How did it go today? » Miller, posted by Dinah on January 14, 2003, at 9:34:39
Dinah,
I DON'T TRUST MY JUDGEMENT. So, i never took offense that you were concerned.
As far as eggs go, I can't keep "shopping" for an alternative to this or that. This is my life. I can't keep hanging in there while I test and try every shink in town.
Dinah, I am very tired of trying. If this guy can't help me, well...
I just want to know for once and for all if this is all I can expect from my life. If it is, so be it.
-Miller
Posted by Kam on January 14, 2003, at 22:00:02
In reply to Dinah, posted by Miller on January 14, 2003, at 12:44:33
>Miller I have a hard time believing that you could or would ever give up on the search for true help for you. There is the "one" out there for you, you seem so sweet and the thought of you saying if this guy can't help you, well . . . bothers me. Please don't give up the search!! After 17 years of abuse, I am still here hanging on and I totally adore my son and new husband. Do I still have cob webs in my head ? Yes, many, but I got through the hardest times and from what I've read from your posts you are a wonderful person, please keep looking if your current attempt doesn't work!!! DONT' EVER GIVE UP ON US BABY !!!!
Kam
Dinah,
>
> I DON'T TRUST MY JUDGEMENT. So, i never took offense that you were concerned.
>
> As far as eggs go, I can't keep "shopping" for an alternative to this or that. This is my life. I can't keep hanging in there while I test and try every shink in town.
>
> Dinah, I am very tired of trying. If this guy can't help me, well...
>
> I just want to know for once and for all if this is all I can expect from my life. If it is, so be it.
>
> -Miller
>
This is the end of the thread.
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