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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on September 12, 2002, at 20:31:15
I don't know how long I'm going to be able to go into the office. I had been working at home. I'm taking Klonopin to keep my level of overstimulation down, but the noise and lights and people and calls are really getting to me. Sometimes I seem to be able to handle it, but right now I don't seem to be able to.
I've got my cuticle scissors in an easily accessible portion of my purse, because I just don't know if I'm going to need to self injure. So far the Klonopin has been working to keep me from needing to do that, but just barely.
I try the breathing and even a bit of meditation, but then the phone rings or someone comes in. Demands are contradictory and insistent. And I just can't seem to filter it, or even to sort it out in a meaningful way.
Of course, I am tired now. Even the Klonopin isn't helping my sleep enough and insomnia has been worrying at my brain. Perhaps if the sleep problem were solved, I'd have more resilience at work. Or maybe the cacophany at work is feeding the insomnia.
A buzzy, overstimulated,
Dinah
Posted by Phil on September 12, 2002, at 21:16:31
In reply to Work, posted by Dinah on September 12, 2002, at 20:31:15
I'd get a small script of Xanax or Ambian. K doesn't seem to be the ideal sleep aid.
Take a Xanax in times of over-stimulation. My 2 pesos.
Posted by wendy b. on September 12, 2002, at 21:58:26
In reply to Re: Work, posted by Phil on September 12, 2002, at 21:16:31
Dinah,
I totally agree with the Xanax advice, it does work. K takes too long but is probably good for the impulses to SI. I'm sure it's harder at work when you've had precious little sleep... So get that under control. But all you have to do is go to your friendly pdoc or MD and get a note saying you are unable to work (which sounds like it is true, just tell them what you've said here) and take the note to work, and sign out for a couple of days, or a week, to get the sleep problem under control. Please resist the SI if you can, get it out of your system in another way... If that's not possible and you DO, it's not a failure on your part, so please don't blame yourself... Work just gets like that sometimes, and if you need a break, then you need a break. Go easy on yourself... please.
Wendy> I'd get a small script of Xanax or Ambian. K doesn't seem to be the ideal sleep aid.
> Take a Xanax in times of over-stimulation. My 2 pesos.
Posted by judy1 on September 12, 2002, at 22:05:53
In reply to Work, posted by Dinah on September 12, 2002, at 20:31:15
I had the same problems Dinah. Can you go back to working at home? short-term disability? Phil's right about klonopin not being a good sleep aid, but I wonder even with short-term ambien treatment to help you sleep, is the underlying problem of too much stimulus going to improve? I remember locking myself in my office before I broke. Even when my boss offered to accomodate me by allowing me to stay in my office I couldn't return. I hope this is temporary for you and you're able to find a solution. take care, judy
p.s. call your therapist about the scissors, please?
Posted by madison88 on September 12, 2002, at 22:38:58
In reply to Re: Work » Dinah, posted by judy1 on September 12, 2002, at 22:05:53
is there one single person at work you can drop a hint to that you are having difficulties? maybe there isn't, it is just that in my case after i got out of the hospital and returned to work, i felt worn so thin and was afraid that i was going to snap if one more person asked me for anything in the store. i would lock myself in the bathroom and take 20 minutes to clear my head. what saved me was talking to a girl at work who had problems herself. we got to the point where all it took was a glance to know how each other was doing. just knowing that somebody else was there who knew a liitle about the situation helped me keep going to work. if you can't keep going, just take a few days off if you can get away with it. working out there can give you a sense of accomplishment, but it isn't worth running yourself down to nothing over. take care of yourself above all else! I took Remeron at night for sleep. it lasts a full night. Sonata lasts four hours, but doesn't leave me as drowsy in the morning. they both helped me get deep sleep. sleep cures a lot! Hang on, it will be weekend soon!!
Posted by k9lover on September 13, 2002, at 6:04:19
In reply to Work, posted by Dinah on September 12, 2002, at 20:31:15
I am having trouble at work too - extremely low in the mornings - to the point where sometimes I just go out and sit in my car for a little while until I almost fall asleep, then jerk awake - that seems to do the trick for a few minutes.
It's dreadful to feel so crappy and be expected to perform esp when sleep interfers. Have you tried CBT for the SI? That has helped me enormously - I work through the urgent part of the emotion and sidestep the SI.
Posted by tina on September 13, 2002, at 8:31:32
In reply to Work, posted by Dinah on September 12, 2002, at 20:31:15
I'll probably get my ass verbally kicked here but I'm a self-injurer too Dinah and I say if it helps, go ahead. I'm sure you know you won't do too much damage with cuticle scissors and if it calms you like it does me, I don't see a problem with it once in a while.
I get easily overstimulated too. I work in retail. It's impossible not to. I've been having so much trouble trying to get myself to show up for my shifts. I get incredibly nauseated and migraines about an hour before I have to leave home. I can't sleep, eat or leave my house unless it's for work and that's getting nearly impossible now too.
I take klonopin and have for nearly 14 years. I let it melt on my tongue and it seems to get into my system faster. It doesn't, however, stop me from SI though. I know the SI works for me, why would it be so bad for you to use it to cope now and then? It's usually a short term solution and it seems that's all you need right now. You said the overstimulation doesn't happen all the time so a short term solution seems viable, doesn't it?
Sorry to all those who are against SI but it's the only thing that helps me when I feel the way Dinah does.
Posted by k9lover on September 13, 2002, at 12:08:06
In reply to Work, posted by Dinah on September 12, 2002, at 20:31:15
Has anyone lost status or even their job as a direct result of work performance that fell off due to depression? I'm in a bad way anyway what with cutbacks coming in the next few weeks. But my previous boss was a nightmare (crack, drug and alcohol addict), so the department moved me uptown to my previous job. This morning, when I was late (I emailed that I would be late), my new boss sent a note that my absence would not be reflected very positively in the computer system. Feeling like I'm damned if I take care of myself (and follow their rules) and damned if I don't.Anyone dealt with this sort of thing - do I tell them briefly about my problems?
Jan
Posted by judy1 on September 13, 2002, at 12:45:54
In reply to Re: Work » Dinah, posted by tina on September 13, 2002, at 8:31:32
If anyone understands the SI I do. And yes, my therapist hasn't insisted i stop- but the paradoxical thing is since i have her permission i do it less. (and i almost never do anything serious to warrent stitches). so i guess my asking Dinah to tell her therapist about the scissors was more of let's keep this in the open kind of thing. take care, judy
Posted by judy1 on September 13, 2002, at 12:55:42
In reply to Re: Further to the work thing, posted by k9lover on September 13, 2002, at 12:08:06
from my experience, actually communicating my problems to management or human resources (who just work for management) never works- especially with mental illness. the best recommendation i can give you is to see a psychiatrist and have him/her write a letter asking for time off or better accomodations, shorter hours, etc. and have him/her call and mail in the letter. this will get the process of disability rolling if you want to go there, or some much needed rest w/o harm to you (it's illegal to fire you for example) best of luck, judy
Posted by madison88 on September 13, 2002, at 13:02:54
In reply to Re: Further to the work thing, posted by k9lover on September 13, 2002, at 12:08:06
i worked in a small store. everyone knew my problems as a result. they were careful around me and i got the feeling they saw me as an "untouchable" they were more lenient b/c they knew, but i think that in general, informing your boss of your problems is a very tricky situation. in a large company i would think that they would be less understanding, although it definately varies from place to place. you really have to feel your way in this situation. what is your gut feeling about what their reaction would be? if you have absolutely no clue, i would not say anything. it also depends on what is going to happen if you can't make it to work or are late all the time. if you think you are going to lose your job or be demoted as a result, go ahead and say something. weigh out the possible outcomes, carefully. wish i could be of more help. good luck!
Posted by Roo on September 13, 2002, at 14:00:46
In reply to Re: Further to the work thing, posted by madison88 on September 13, 2002, at 13:02:54
I work in a small office with psych nurses...we are
all very bonded and personal with each other. It seemed
natural that I tell them about my depression. When I was
experimenting with going off medication, I told them. For a couple
of months, I was a real mess, and yes, my performance really suffered.
I was feeling suicidal (although I KNEW I wouldn't do anything)...and I
made the mistake of telling my nurse co-worker. Well she, of course, went
to the boss with it (who is a psychiatrist) and I was told I needed to go back on my meds or they
weren't sure if I could do the job anymore. That pissed me off, and I
was even more pissed at myself for being so stupid to be open with
all that stuff. We got it straightened out, and now I just don't talk
about all that stuff. One of the nurses asked me how the med stuff was going
and I told her I was no longer going to discuss that stuff. So they don't
know that I'm still med free. But I'm not in that bad space anymore, things
have settled. I was just going through some horrible withdrawal (first from zoloft
then from effexor which was ungodly). I probably just should have taken some time
off, looking back, and not said anything to anyone.
Posted by Tabitha Ðòñë ƒ£îþþëÐ on September 13, 2002, at 23:27:25
In reply to Work, posted by Dinah on September 12, 2002, at 20:31:15
Yeah, office environments can be so crappy. They barely accommodate average people, much less anyone who has an extra sensitivity to noise, crowding, bad lighting, visual distractions, and just plain ugliness. I hope things improve for you somehow.
Posted by Dinah on September 14, 2002, at 10:22:59
In reply to Re: Work, posted by Tabitha Ðòñë ƒ£îþþëÐ on September 13, 2002, at 23:27:25
Yesterday it was a bit quieter at the office and I reviewed my options, keeping my post in mind. I did think of some things that might help. Also, my pdoc says that if I know I'm going to take a Klonopin anyway, to take it before I need it. So I'll take it before I go to work and hope I don't get to that overstimulated state to begin with.
I guess I'll have to see.
This is the end of the thread.
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