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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 7 to 31 of 42. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dr. Bob on May 18, 2002, at 2:21:36
In reply to Re: more on sexuality and intimacy, posted by wendy b. on May 16, 2002, at 13:44:19
> We should keep the conversation going... I love talking about sex (if you haven't noticed...) with real women.
I hope this isn't too off-topic. I just want to plug a new book from someone I know:
Great Sex for Moms :
Ten Steps to Nurturing Passion While Raising Kids
by Valerie Davis Raskin
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0743212657/drbobsvirte00-20Bob
Posted by Zo on May 18, 2002, at 5:24:33
In reply to Re: Great Sex for Moms, posted by Dr. Bob on May 18, 2002, at 2:21:36
Posted by NancyLee on May 18, 2002, at 7:27:23
In reply to Re: I. Am. Shocked. (nm) » Dr. Bob, posted by Zo on May 18, 2002, at 5:24:33
I dont know why I am glad the subject of female sexuality has been broached. It is a large part of our lives as we are sexual beings.
We have our menses every month other animals have only certain times of the year when they have "heat". That means we are more receptive to sex all the time.
Why Shocked?
I have been in a monogamous relationship for over 20 years and I am really trying to put that part of our lives back together. I feel like a big piece of the puzzle is missing for us when this goes awry for any reason. That is why I brought up sex and how it relates to me.....and trying to get positive feedback on it. It was scary for me to do that but it really has helped......peace & love
Posted by wendy b. on May 18, 2002, at 13:49:06
In reply to Re: Great Sex for Moms, posted by Dr. Bob on May 18, 2002, at 2:21:36
After perusing the edtorial comments on Amazon, also think this is probably a great book for non-moms, too (i.e., anybody who's been in a relationship for a number of years)...
Thanks, Bob, so typically thoughtful of you...
Wendy
Posted by Zo on May 19, 2002, at 22:06:05
In reply to Re: I. Am. Shocked., posted by NancyLee on May 18, 2002, at 7:27:23
Sorry, I should put up a sign for newbies: Zo's deadpan subject lines. Something like that. ;o)Welcome!!
Zo
Posted by NancyLee on May 19, 2002, at 22:12:24
In reply to Re: I. Am. Shocked. » NancyLee, posted by Zo on May 19, 2002, at 22:06:05
Okay I am advised, you cant see this but I am sticking out my tongue waggling my fingers behind my ears and saying naaa naaaa........LOve
Posted by IsoM on May 20, 2002, at 1:46:36
In reply to Re: I. Am. Shocked. » Zo, posted by NancyLee on May 19, 2002, at 22:12:24
...at Zo or Dr. Bob? He won't tell us what he's wearing underneath that waterfall.
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 20, 2002, at 18:27:58
In reply to Re: Great Sex for Moms, posted by Dr. Bob on May 18, 2002, at 2:21:36
Thanks for supporting the topic!!
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 20, 2002, at 18:29:58
In reply to Re: I. Am. Shocked. » NancyLee, posted by Zo on May 19, 2002, at 22:06:05
Deadpan lines...
I think we all need little personality quips next to our names. Zo - deadpan humor; kk - i ahve no idea...; dinah - very literal...
so newbies do get a taste of where we're coming from. and of course, they can also have quips.
- kk
Posted by Dr. Valerie Raskin on May 20, 2002, at 18:44:14
In reply to Re: Great Sex for Moms » Dr. Bob, posted by Krazy Kat on May 20, 2002, at 18:27:58
> Thanks for supporting the topic!!
Not to mention supporting my book! <vbg> Dr. Bob invited me to stop in and say hello. I hope the group doesn't mind.
I can't encourage you strongly enough to feel entitled to good medical information and support for dealing with the sexual side effects of psychotropic medications. Sexual issues are much more common than is generally acknowledged--close to 40 % of the unmedicated population has difficulty with low libido or other isseus of sexual dysfunction, and the drugs we psychiatrists prescribe all too often make things very much worse.
As one of the posts noted, often times when men have a sexual side effects of SSRI's, etc, they can more readily ask for advice, because they can focus on the function. "Doctor, things don't work" is often an easier thing to say in a quick med check than, "It isn't fun anymore." Women who can't climax because of drugs have to have a more difficult discussion: the pleasure is gone, but ability to have intercourse isn't impaired. In a society in which women's sexual pleasure is still highly taboo, that can be intimidating. But be brave! There are medical interventions that often help.
One of the things I really like about this thread is the discussion about non-medical ways to overcome sexuality problems, whether they're caused by drugs or caused by life circumstances. Making sex more interesting, taking more time, and then more time, and using fantasy, vibrators, and whatever spice suits your fancy are all ways to deal with the sexual doldrums. It's said that the biggest human sex organ is the mind, and I agree.
Best to all!
Valerie Davis Raskin, M.D.
Posted by NancyLee on May 21, 2002, at 5:27:57
In reply to Re: I. Am. Shocked. » Zo, posted by Krazy Kat on May 20, 2002, at 18:29:58
Gee thanks for being willing to let new people participate! Just how long are we "NEWBIES" I have always found that offensive like rookie. If this is that tightknit see ya
Posted by Dinah1 on May 21, 2002, at 8:33:48
In reply to Re: I. Am. Shocked. » Krazy Kat, posted by NancyLee on May 21, 2002, at 5:27:57
Hi Nancy,
Dr. Bob recently added a couple of boards for "old-timers" which led to many discussions of old-timers and newbies. I think if you'll look at the archives, you'll find that Krazy Kat was all for inclusion and in fact was opposed to the new boards for that very reason. So I'm quite certain that she meant nothing negative or exclusionary in her post, because Krazy Kat just doesn't feel that way. It was just an extension of the previous discussion. I think you'll find that everyone is welcome here on Psycho-Social-Babble.
So welcome, Nancy Lee!!
(And I'm sure I should have let Krazy Kat answer for herself. Sorry Krazy Kat.)
Posted by jane d on May 21, 2002, at 10:11:53
In reply to Re: I. Am. Shocked. » Krazy Kat, posted by NancyLee on May 21, 2002, at 5:27:57
NancyLee
Tightknit, yes. Closed to newcomers, no.
I think Zo and KK were just worried that you had been accidentally offended because you might not be familiar with Zo's posting style. I thought her suggesting that she was shocked was funny given her previous posts and I wasn't sure whether you got the joke or not (at least until you stuck your tongue out :) ).
Jane
PS. I never liked the term Newbies either but I guess I don't hear it anymore.
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 10:31:27
In reply to Re: I. Am. Shocked. » NancyLee, posted by Dinah1 on May 21, 2002, at 8:33:48
no, dinah, thanks, you it just right. it's amazing to me how i offend when i don't mean to at all.
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 10:36:12
In reply to Re: I. Am. Shocked. » Krazy Kat, posted by NancyLee on May 21, 2002, at 5:27:57
Nancy:
Sorry to have caused any misunderstanding. I meant it as another humorous post, and could not have foreseen that "newbies" would be an offensive word.
Dinah and Jane explained it perfectly.
This board(s) is quite well monitored by Dr. Bob - he catches a lot of potentially abusive posts. So you should feel safe here in general.
I, however, am not going to go back to worrying about every word i type, so if you have trouble with my posts, you might just want to avoid them.
Newcomers are very welcome - they add new life and different perspectives to the board. And, of course, I was a newcomer once.
- kk
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 10:37:39
In reply to Re: more on sexuality and intimacy, posted by Roo on May 17, 2002, at 9:52:53
on all of this, roo? can you come to chat sometime? it's easier to discuss there for me...
- kk
Posted by Dinah1 on May 21, 2002, at 10:55:19
In reply to any new thoughts... » Roo, posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 10:37:39
It is long overdue. And it is a very important topic. There is absolutely no reason not to discuss it publicly. And I'm sure there are many people who are getting a lot of benefit from reading it, even if they aren't posting.
I haven't posted myself, because frankly any participation on my part would not be much of a contribution. :(
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 11:12:19
In reply to I would love to see this thread continue here., posted by Dinah1 on May 21, 2002, at 10:55:19
I agree, Dinah - you're right. It should continue here.
Perhaps it can continue on both...
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 11:14:26
In reply to I would love to see this thread continue here., posted by Dinah1 on May 21, 2002, at 10:55:19
to keep it going. the karma sutra - any experience there? we have a book, and it seems like a very loving and respectful way to approach sex.
BUT, I cannot relax enough to try it! Someone said, I believe it was WEndy, that she likes to take her time during sex. I am just the oppostite - I want it over toot-sweet.
- kk
Posted by kiddo on May 21, 2002, at 12:23:54
In reply to Re: Great Sex for Moms, posted by Dr. Bob on May 18, 2002, at 2:21:36
Thanks for posting that Dr. bob, I'm gonna check into it...I figure it can't hurt.
Thanks again for taking the time to post it
Kiddo
Posted by Zo on May 21, 2002, at 14:42:52
In reply to Re: I. Am. Shocked. » Zo, posted by NancyLee on May 19, 2002, at 22:12:24
Posted by Roo on May 21, 2002, at 15:41:12
In reply to any new thoughts... » Roo, posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 10:37:39
I haven't been able to figure out how to do chat...
and I don't really have any new ideas...right now the
whole topic has started to depress me b/c I think
my boyfriend's going to break up with me b/c he can't
deal with my depression and insecurity. Can't blame
him, but it still hurts. So sex isn't really on the
forefront of my mind...I'm usually feeling more sexual
when I'm feeling good about myself and right now...well..
I'm feeling like shit.
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 18:25:18
In reply to Re: any new thoughts...Krazy KAt, posted by Roo on May 21, 2002, at 15:41:12
i'm sorry, roo. do you want to start a thread about this?
Posted by wendy b. on May 21, 2002, at 19:25:37
In reply to Re: Great Sex for Moms, posted by Dr. Valerie Raskin on May 20, 2002, at 18:44:14
Dear Dr. Raskin:
Sorry, in between offending each other and getting off topic, we really do want to say thank you very much for adding your comments to the discussion of intimacy and women's issues dealing with the sexual fallout from psychopharmaceuticals. I felt your comments were very frank and supportive, i.e., we shouldn't feel singled-out or alone if we experience negative sexual side effects from the drugs. 40% of the general population, before counting our sub-population, is a staggering number.
I guess the other part of the discussion here focusses on breaking through more than sexual doldrums, but simple disinterest in sex. There are no easy answers, but if you have any specific suggestions (besides your very helpful book) for the women who have posted particular questions on this thread, I'm sure your inuput would be greatly appreciated. Your time is obviously limited, but if you are inclined to keep reading this thread, we'd love more words of wisdom.
Sincerely yours,
Wendy
> > Thanks for supporting the topic!!
>
> Not to mention supporting my book! <vbg> Dr. Bob invited me to stop in and say hello. I hope the group doesn't mind.
>
> I can't encourage you strongly enough to feel entitled to good medical information and support for dealing with the sexual side effects of psychotropic medications. Sexual issues are much more common than is generally acknowledged--close to 40 % of the unmedicated population has difficulty with low libido or other isseus of sexual dysfunction, and the drugs we psychiatrists prescribe all too often make things very much worse.
>
> As one of the posts noted, often times when men have a sexual side effects of SSRI's, etc, they can more readily ask for advice, because they can focus on the function. "Doctor, things don't work" is often an easier thing to say in a quick med check than, "It isn't fun anymore." Women who can't climax because of drugs have to have a more difficult discussion: the pleasure is gone, but ability to have intercourse isn't impaired. In a society in which women's sexual pleasure is still highly taboo, that can be intimidating. But be brave! There are medical interventions that often help.
>
> One of the things I really like about this thread is the discussion about non-medical ways to overcome sexuality problems, whether they're caused by drugs or caused by life circumstances. Making sex more interesting, taking more time, and then more time, and using fantasy, vibrators, and whatever spice suits your fancy are all ways to deal with the sexual doldrums. It's said that the biggest human sex organ is the mind, and I agree.
>
> Best to all!
> Valerie Davis Raskin, M.D.
Posted by NancyLee on May 21, 2002, at 21:57:37
In reply to Re: I. Am. Shocked. » Dinah1, posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 10:31:27
OK I am sorry I lost my temper. But that is the nature of my illness. I got up angry today and I had to control my tongue with my daughter before she went to school. I can be nice , then just minutes or hours later you can have a b*tch on wheels. So I apologize to all. I have been having trouble with my meds also and have gotten really out of balance. I just started taking my old meds I was on today on my own because I have been feeling so lousy. I have been getting brain shocks almost constantly for a month from Zoloft withdarwals. So tonight I started my Trazadone, my usual dose of clonapin, and my usual dose of zoloft. I should be straightening out in a couple of days. I have been out of control very impulsive and obsessive lately. I even yell at people who look at me when I am out. I have been challenging everyone that crosses my path. It also didn't help that we had to go through loosing a family friend to cancer last week who was only 38. went to his wake on Sunday and his funeral on Monday. I saw my therapist today and cried the whole time I was there because of my situation with my husband. He is never going to improve and I feel like he died but he is still here so I grieve and grieve with no end in sight. He died several times the day of his accident and I really dont know why they keep bringing people back. I really wish they had just let him go. He would be at peace and me and my daughters would have been able to move on in the business of gtting on with our lives. He isnt a husband anymore, he isnt enven a companion anymore he is just a facade of the man I knew and loved it seems so long ago. I lose my sense of humor and I lose my way navigating through this life. I have gone on long enough....Love You ALL especially anyone who I took that cheap shot at this morning I apologize. (But I really hate newbie ok?) bye for now.....me
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