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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 18 to 42 of 42. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dinah1 on May 21, 2002, at 8:33:48
In reply to Re: I. Am. Shocked. » Krazy Kat, posted by NancyLee on May 21, 2002, at 5:27:57
Hi Nancy,
Dr. Bob recently added a couple of boards for "old-timers" which led to many discussions of old-timers and newbies. I think if you'll look at the archives, you'll find that Krazy Kat was all for inclusion and in fact was opposed to the new boards for that very reason. So I'm quite certain that she meant nothing negative or exclusionary in her post, because Krazy Kat just doesn't feel that way. It was just an extension of the previous discussion. I think you'll find that everyone is welcome here on Psycho-Social-Babble.
So welcome, Nancy Lee!!
(And I'm sure I should have let Krazy Kat answer for herself. Sorry Krazy Kat.)
Posted by jane d on May 21, 2002, at 10:11:53
In reply to Re: I. Am. Shocked. » Krazy Kat, posted by NancyLee on May 21, 2002, at 5:27:57
NancyLee
Tightknit, yes. Closed to newcomers, no.
I think Zo and KK were just worried that you had been accidentally offended because you might not be familiar with Zo's posting style. I thought her suggesting that she was shocked was funny given her previous posts and I wasn't sure whether you got the joke or not (at least until you stuck your tongue out :) ).
Jane
PS. I never liked the term Newbies either but I guess I don't hear it anymore.
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 10:31:27
In reply to Re: I. Am. Shocked. » NancyLee, posted by Dinah1 on May 21, 2002, at 8:33:48
no, dinah, thanks, you it just right. it's amazing to me how i offend when i don't mean to at all.
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 10:36:12
In reply to Re: I. Am. Shocked. » Krazy Kat, posted by NancyLee on May 21, 2002, at 5:27:57
Nancy:
Sorry to have caused any misunderstanding. I meant it as another humorous post, and could not have foreseen that "newbies" would be an offensive word.
Dinah and Jane explained it perfectly.
This board(s) is quite well monitored by Dr. Bob - he catches a lot of potentially abusive posts. So you should feel safe here in general.
I, however, am not going to go back to worrying about every word i type, so if you have trouble with my posts, you might just want to avoid them.
Newcomers are very welcome - they add new life and different perspectives to the board. And, of course, I was a newcomer once.
- kk
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 10:37:39
In reply to Re: more on sexuality and intimacy, posted by Roo on May 17, 2002, at 9:52:53
on all of this, roo? can you come to chat sometime? it's easier to discuss there for me...
- kk
Posted by Dinah1 on May 21, 2002, at 10:55:19
In reply to any new thoughts... » Roo, posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 10:37:39
It is long overdue. And it is a very important topic. There is absolutely no reason not to discuss it publicly. And I'm sure there are many people who are getting a lot of benefit from reading it, even if they aren't posting.
I haven't posted myself, because frankly any participation on my part would not be much of a contribution. :(
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 11:12:19
In reply to I would love to see this thread continue here., posted by Dinah1 on May 21, 2002, at 10:55:19
I agree, Dinah - you're right. It should continue here.
Perhaps it can continue on both...
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 11:14:26
In reply to I would love to see this thread continue here., posted by Dinah1 on May 21, 2002, at 10:55:19
to keep it going. the karma sutra - any experience there? we have a book, and it seems like a very loving and respectful way to approach sex.
BUT, I cannot relax enough to try it! Someone said, I believe it was WEndy, that she likes to take her time during sex. I am just the oppostite - I want it over toot-sweet.
- kk
Posted by kiddo on May 21, 2002, at 12:23:54
In reply to Re: Great Sex for Moms, posted by Dr. Bob on May 18, 2002, at 2:21:36
Thanks for posting that Dr. bob, I'm gonna check into it...I figure it can't hurt.
Thanks again for taking the time to post it
Kiddo
Posted by Zo on May 21, 2002, at 14:42:52
In reply to Re: I. Am. Shocked. » Zo, posted by NancyLee on May 19, 2002, at 22:12:24
Posted by Roo on May 21, 2002, at 15:41:12
In reply to any new thoughts... » Roo, posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 10:37:39
I haven't been able to figure out how to do chat...
and I don't really have any new ideas...right now the
whole topic has started to depress me b/c I think
my boyfriend's going to break up with me b/c he can't
deal with my depression and insecurity. Can't blame
him, but it still hurts. So sex isn't really on the
forefront of my mind...I'm usually feeling more sexual
when I'm feeling good about myself and right now...well..
I'm feeling like shit.
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 18:25:18
In reply to Re: any new thoughts...Krazy KAt, posted by Roo on May 21, 2002, at 15:41:12
i'm sorry, roo. do you want to start a thread about this?
Posted by wendy b. on May 21, 2002, at 19:25:37
In reply to Re: Great Sex for Moms, posted by Dr. Valerie Raskin on May 20, 2002, at 18:44:14
Dear Dr. Raskin:
Sorry, in between offending each other and getting off topic, we really do want to say thank you very much for adding your comments to the discussion of intimacy and women's issues dealing with the sexual fallout from psychopharmaceuticals. I felt your comments were very frank and supportive, i.e., we shouldn't feel singled-out or alone if we experience negative sexual side effects from the drugs. 40% of the general population, before counting our sub-population, is a staggering number.
I guess the other part of the discussion here focusses on breaking through more than sexual doldrums, but simple disinterest in sex. There are no easy answers, but if you have any specific suggestions (besides your very helpful book) for the women who have posted particular questions on this thread, I'm sure your inuput would be greatly appreciated. Your time is obviously limited, but if you are inclined to keep reading this thread, we'd love more words of wisdom.
Sincerely yours,
Wendy
> > Thanks for supporting the topic!!
>
> Not to mention supporting my book! <vbg> Dr. Bob invited me to stop in and say hello. I hope the group doesn't mind.
>
> I can't encourage you strongly enough to feel entitled to good medical information and support for dealing with the sexual side effects of psychotropic medications. Sexual issues are much more common than is generally acknowledged--close to 40 % of the unmedicated population has difficulty with low libido or other isseus of sexual dysfunction, and the drugs we psychiatrists prescribe all too often make things very much worse.
>
> As one of the posts noted, often times when men have a sexual side effects of SSRI's, etc, they can more readily ask for advice, because they can focus on the function. "Doctor, things don't work" is often an easier thing to say in a quick med check than, "It isn't fun anymore." Women who can't climax because of drugs have to have a more difficult discussion: the pleasure is gone, but ability to have intercourse isn't impaired. In a society in which women's sexual pleasure is still highly taboo, that can be intimidating. But be brave! There are medical interventions that often help.
>
> One of the things I really like about this thread is the discussion about non-medical ways to overcome sexuality problems, whether they're caused by drugs or caused by life circumstances. Making sex more interesting, taking more time, and then more time, and using fantasy, vibrators, and whatever spice suits your fancy are all ways to deal with the sexual doldrums. It's said that the biggest human sex organ is the mind, and I agree.
>
> Best to all!
> Valerie Davis Raskin, M.D.
Posted by NancyLee on May 21, 2002, at 21:57:37
In reply to Re: I. Am. Shocked. » Dinah1, posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 10:31:27
OK I am sorry I lost my temper. But that is the nature of my illness. I got up angry today and I had to control my tongue with my daughter before she went to school. I can be nice , then just minutes or hours later you can have a b*tch on wheels. So I apologize to all. I have been having trouble with my meds also and have gotten really out of balance. I just started taking my old meds I was on today on my own because I have been feeling so lousy. I have been getting brain shocks almost constantly for a month from Zoloft withdarwals. So tonight I started my Trazadone, my usual dose of clonapin, and my usual dose of zoloft. I should be straightening out in a couple of days. I have been out of control very impulsive and obsessive lately. I even yell at people who look at me when I am out. I have been challenging everyone that crosses my path. It also didn't help that we had to go through loosing a family friend to cancer last week who was only 38. went to his wake on Sunday and his funeral on Monday. I saw my therapist today and cried the whole time I was there because of my situation with my husband. He is never going to improve and I feel like he died but he is still here so I grieve and grieve with no end in sight. He died several times the day of his accident and I really dont know why they keep bringing people back. I really wish they had just let him go. He would be at peace and me and my daughters would have been able to move on in the business of gtting on with our lives. He isnt a husband anymore, he isnt enven a companion anymore he is just a facade of the man I knew and loved it seems so long ago. I lose my sense of humor and I lose my way navigating through this life. I have gone on long enough....Love You ALL especially anyone who I took that cheap shot at this morning I apologize. (But I really hate newbie ok?) bye for now.....me
Posted by NancyLee on May 21, 2002, at 22:08:12
In reply to o.k., here's more from krazy..., posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 11:14:26
Years ago, my husband bought the new Joy of Sex book it was ok but the book from the 70's was much better. If I could get my hands on that book again, I think it would be very helpful to my husband and I. It was very easy to follow and really emphasized respect for your partner. It only covers heterosexual information, but gives good ideas. bye
Posted by NancyLee on May 21, 2002, at 22:11:37
In reply to Re: I believe the term is neener-neener. (nm) » NancyLee, posted by Zo on May 21, 2002, at 14:42:52
Thanks I like that much better........you make me laugh for first time today!!!!!!!!!
Posted by NancyLee on May 21, 2002, at 22:17:39
In reply to Re: any new thoughts...Krazy KAt, posted by Roo on May 21, 2002, at 15:41:12
> I haven't been able to figure out how to do chat...
> and I don't really have any new ideas...right now the
> whole topic has started to depress me b/c I think
> my boyfriend's going to break up with me b/c he can't
> deal with my depression and insecurity. Can't blame
> him, but it still hurts. So sex isn't really on the
> forefront of my mind...I'm usually feeling more sexual
> when I'm feeling good about myself and right now...well..
> I'm feeling like shit.Dont blame yourself, you cant help it. It is his problem if he wont stay the long run with you through this. When you think about it, maybe good to find out now rather than after marriage and a couple of kids he doesnt want to or cant cope with this situation. Good Luck Hope For The Best For You........Do something nice for yourself. You might feel better. I used to take long bubble baths with candles lit soft music and a book also a glass of white wine. When I got out of that tub it was like boyfriend? What Boyfriend?
Posted by krazy kat on May 22, 2002, at 15:13:34
In reply to Re: I. Am. Shocked. » Krazy Kat, posted by NancyLee on May 21, 2002, at 21:57:37
Heh, Nancy. When I first read:
"OK I am sorry I lost my temper. But that is the nature of my illness."
I got all bent out of shape. "We all have troubles with our moods - it's no excuse" I said to myself. (Keep Reading!!!) --
But then, I was supposed to have a prescription filled today that was the wrong script and my ritalin was running down and I was getting testy. So I thought about it some more, and it is so true, isn't it? Those of us with mood disorders, etc., are always dealing with not only the disorder but the side effects of the meds.
Boy, do I get angry sometimes b/c of the Ritalin half-life. Also, all AD's did this to me. But we have to keep going on, don't we? And it's really tough.
That's why I wish we could have little faces, emoticons, etc. not only to explain our characteristics (most of the time) but also how we're doing that day, hell, at that moment.
Thanks for letting me know you were "out of sorts". I will try to recall not to use "newbie". oops, i just did. ;) neener, neener...
- kk
Posted by krazy kat on May 22, 2002, at 22:51:17
In reply to bad moods... » NancyLee, posted by krazy kat on May 22, 2002, at 15:13:34
Did my post above make sense? Was it bothersome in anyway?
- kk
Posted by NancyLee on May 22, 2002, at 23:04:20
In reply to Re: bad moods... - NancyLee, posted by krazy kat on May 22, 2002, at 22:51:17
Your post was great. I enjoyed it and it did make me think about blaming things on illness and meds. However, I must say that I went to my therapist yesterday and I told him how I have been acting lately how I have been feeling and my thoughts the way they have been going and I was told I have been delusional. It makes sense to me when he says that but when it is happening I dont know it is irrational or delusional thinking. Thsi is why I have times when I go off because I cant think like other people do all the time. I have also been hearing voices lately, and that is not threatening to me because I realize they are just in my head. But I just dont know . I have a hard time keeping friends because of this too. My meds nurse tells me I probably scared them off with strange behavior.
Posted by IsoM on May 23, 2002, at 2:16:05
In reply to Re: bad moods... - NancyLee » krazy kat, posted by NancyLee on May 22, 2002, at 23:04:20
> > "My meds nurse tells me I probably scared them off with strange behavior."
Hoo, boy! Now that was an encouraging thing to say to you! Not the most tactful woman, this nurse. Personally, I think unimaginative people with rather shallow personalites are the most likely to be 'scared' off. You'll find an amazing degree of acceptance on this board. And not just from a bunch of 'loonies'. We may be different than the 'average' person, but we're still a very intelligent, amusing, & imaginative group here.
Posted by krazy kat on May 23, 2002, at 10:30:13
In reply to Re: bad moods... - NancyLee » NancyLee, posted by IsoM on May 23, 2002, at 2:16:05
though, i have had friends who couldn't handle the immense creative intelligence exuding from my brain. :)
Posted by kid47 on May 23, 2002, at 12:38:34
In reply to Re: bad moods... - NancyLee » NancyLee, posted by IsoM on May 23, 2002, at 2:16:05
> > > "My meds nurse tells me I probably scared them off with strange behavior."<<<
>Not the most tactful woman, this nurse. You'll find an amazing degree of acceptance on this board. And not just from a bunch of 'loonies. <
Personally, I would prefer to be called a subversive loon. It has an air of mystery & rebellion to it. =0/ Are you sure the nurse wasn't a man? Sorry for butting in. Couldn't help m'self.
Posted by NancyLee on May 23, 2002, at 14:32:33
In reply to Re: loonies, posted by kid47 on May 23, 2002, at 12:38:34
> > > > "My meds nurse tells me I probably scared them off with strange behavior."<<<
>
> >Not the most tactful woman, this nurse. You'll find an amazing degree of acceptance on this board. And not just from a bunch of 'loonies. <
>
> Personally, I would prefer to be called a subversive loon. It has an air of mystery & rebellion to it. =0/ Are you sure the nurse wasn't a man? Sorry for butting in. Couldn't help m'self.She kind of looked like one. Yeah she really was a confidence booster that day! Thanks for the responses to that one.......G'Day
Posted by Dr. Valerie Raskin on May 29, 2002, at 18:11:59
In reply to Re: Great Sex for Moms » Dr. Valerie Raskin, posted by wendy b. on May 21, 2002, at 19:25:37
Wendy,
Thanks for your kind words. I thought I had posted a reply last week, but it seems I missed the "confirm post" button. Let me try to recreate my reply.
As I understand it, you're asking about how to manage having no sex drive as a side effect of psychotropics. Loss of orgasm ("anorgasmia") and/or loss of libido are common side effects of SSRI's, but can occur due to mood stabilizers, anti-psychotics, anti-anxiety medications, and tricyclic antidepressants and MaoI's. Please understand that any advice below should be discussed with your prescribing physician before considering making changes.
Restoring climax is easier than restoring sex drive, perhaps because libido is so complex--self esteem, body image, relationship issues, partner sexuality and technique, early childhood messages about sexuality, mood, etc. all impact libido.
In my practice, I've found that these may be successful libido restorers/enhancers: 1) Using the lowest effective dose (sometimes in the dose escalation phase, we go too fast in order to bring symptom relief, and less may work as well without the sexual side effects); 2) Co-medication with a multitude of different agents, 3) Co-medication with gingko biloba. My patients have found that the long acting form found in some drugstores and many internet sites works best. Others note that the ginkgo should include both whole leaf and purified extract. Effective doses range from 120 to 480 mg, and it may take several weeks to kick in. Gingko is potentially unsafe if you are taking blood thinners or have a bleeding disorder. 4) Correction of underlying endocrine (hormone) problems. Examples include low testosterone (the ovaries make small amounts of testosterone), and low levels could be a problem in peri- and post-menopausal women, and high prolactin, which many anti-psychotics cause as a side effect. See the book I'm Not in the Mood for more info.
Improved sexual technique may help, too, because it's only natural to want sex more if it's more enjoyable. Kim Catrell's new book Satisfaction is a very explicit how-to guide to better sex for women.
I hope this helps! Best to all.
Dr. Raskin
> Dear Dr. Raskin:
>
> Sorry, in between offending each other and getting off topic, we really do want to say thank you very much for adding your comments to the discussion of intimacy and women's issues dealing with the sexual fallout from psychopharmaceuticals. I felt your comments were very frank and supportive, i.e., we shouldn't feel singled-out or alone if we experience negative sexual side effects from the drugs. 40% of the general population, before counting our sub-population, is a staggering number.
>
> I guess the other part of the discussion here focusses on breaking through more than sexual doldrums, but simple disinterest in sex. There are no easy answers, but if you have any specific suggestions (besides your very helpful book) for the women who have posted particular questions on this thread, I'm sure your inuput would be greatly appreciated. Your time is obviously limited, but if you are inclined to keep reading this thread, we'd love more words of wisdom.
>
> Sincerely yours,
>
> Wendy
>
>
>
> > > Thanks for supporting the topic!!
> >
> > Not to mention supporting my book! <vbg> Dr. Bob invited me to stop in and say hello. I hope the group doesn't mind.
> >
> > I can't encourage you strongly enough to feel entitled to good medical information and support for dealing with the sexual side effects of psychotropic medications. Sexual issues are much more common than is generally acknowledged--close to 40 % of the unmedicated population has difficulty with low libido or other isseus of sexual dysfunction, and the drugs we psychiatrists prescribe all too often make things very much worse.
> >
> > As one of the posts noted, often times when men have a sexual side effects of SSRI's, etc, they can more readily ask for advice, because they can focus on the function. "Doctor, things don't work" is often an easier thing to say in a quick med check than, "It isn't fun anymore." Women who can't climax because of drugs have to have a more difficult discussion: the pleasure is gone, but ability to have intercourse isn't impaired. In a society in which women's sexual pleasure is still highly taboo, that can be intimidating. But be brave! There are medical interventions that often help.
> >
> > One of the things I really like about this thread is the discussion about non-medical ways to overcome sexuality problems, whether they're caused by drugs or caused by life circumstances. Making sex more interesting, taking more time, and then more time, and using fantasy, vibrators, and whatever spice suits your fancy are all ways to deal with the sexual doldrums. It's said that the biggest human sex organ is the mind, and I agree.
> >
> > Best to all!
> > Valerie Davis Raskin, M.D.
This is the end of the thread.
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