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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by terra miller on August 13, 2001, at 22:22:27
hi.. i've always posted over at the plain 'ole medical related psychobabble.... i could use a shot in the arm of encouragement. i'm on my 3rd year of therapy and my marriage is stressed. i'm losing focus looking too long term i think.... thinking i'll not ever get over all this stuff. it's just hard. i've got all this PTSD stuff from lousy fam-of-origin-stuff. and i'm wondering if i'll ever "graduate" to ever feeling comfortably like the adult that i am, instead of having to deal with all this childlike ugh-ness.
somebody tell me that i won't be locked in this torture forever... like i was as a kid... and that i will eventually be free to not be afraid anymore. thanks for allowing the self-disclosure. it's just plain hard right now.
~ter
Posted by mila on August 13, 2001, at 23:41:18
In reply to sigh.... when does it get better?, posted by terra miller on August 13, 2001, at 22:22:27
Dear terra,
of course, you'll get better and won't have to be afraid anymore.
Make a plan, and then you'll know when. getting well is doable.
I am totally empty now and tired from a long work day, cannot say much. Just wanted to let you know that it is doable. When you feel like it is hard, think about it as a firm ground under your feet. Stay in a moment for a while, feel it fully, validate it, get others to hear and appreciate it for what it is, and then start walking.
good stuff it out there waiting for you to grab it :)
mila
Posted by Willow on August 14, 2001, at 3:53:30
In reply to sigh.... when does it get better?, posted by terra miller on August 13, 2001, at 22:22:27
Terra
Thanks for coming over to social! Just now we're trying to manage a chat, so if you feel upto it or when you get a chance try signing in at the psycho-babble open.
When I can't tell you, but take baby-steps and before you know it you'll be where you want to be.
Willow
Posted by akc on August 14, 2001, at 7:52:07
In reply to sigh.... when does it get better?, posted by terra miller on August 13, 2001, at 22:22:27
ter,
I really relate to what you are saying. I had a therapist appointment yesterday and was reminded about how I am dealing with my episodes so much better. My attitude is big F'in deal -- they still hurt just as bad, they still come as frequently, they still make me as crazed as always. I too just want to know when it really will get better -- when it will just end. I know this doesn't answer your question. I just hope it makes you feel less alone.
AKC
Posted by Kingfish on August 14, 2001, at 10:13:28
In reply to Re: sigh.... when does it get better? » terra miller, posted by akc on August 14, 2001, at 7:52:07
> Terra:
My experience right now, is that it goes back and forth (have been on meds for about two years). But I was reminded recently, that it is better than it was (I'm Bipolar by the way, just so you know where I'm coming from). A friend asked me if the side effects of my meds were really worth dealing with, and it brought up the memories of being very close to suicide, and being more self-destructive than I am now.
So, I have problems, but they are better. Hopefully, that's your case and if you feel some progression, you can see that it will continue, perhaps slowly, and sometimes there will be backwards glances, but it will continue.
Glad you came over. I didn't come over here for a quite awhile either.
- K.
Posted by sar on August 14, 2001, at 10:44:16
In reply to Re: sigh.... when does it get better? » akc, posted by Kingfish on August 14, 2001, at 10:13:28
terra,
this is a good place to be, many kind ppl--
the other board intimidates me! to crowded and chaotic, too much turnover. i like this one better.
you're not alone in feeling this way...what are your diagnoses/meds?
sar
Posted by Kingfish on August 14, 2001, at 11:08:29
In reply to Re: sigh.... when does it get better? » akc, posted by Kingfish on August 14, 2001, at 10:13:28
> > Terra:
>
> My experience right now, is that it goes back and forth (have been on meds for about two years). But I was reminded recently, that it is better than it was (I'm Bipolar by the way, just so you know where I'm coming from). A friend asked me if the side effects of my meds were really worth dealing with, and it brought up the memories of being very close to suicide, and being more self-destructive than I am now.
>
> So, I have problems, but they are better. Hopefully, that's your case and if you feel some progression, you can see that it will continue, perhaps slowly, and sometimes there will be backwards glances, but it will continue.
>
> Glad you came over. I didn't come over here for a quite awhile either.
>
> - K.
Posted by akc on August 14, 2001, at 11:20:03
In reply to My last post meant for Terra-sorry. (n/p), posted by Kingfish on August 14, 2001, at 11:08:29
So I shouldn't read? :-)
Posted by terra miller on August 14, 2001, at 12:15:09
In reply to Re: sigh.... when does it get better?, posted by mila on August 13, 2001, at 23:41:18
thanks, mila. you had some really profoundly helpful things to say that i can take ahold of and chew on for a bit!
This was VERY insightful:
>When you feel like it is hard, think about it as a firm ground under your feet.
>Stay in a moment for a while, feel it fully, validate it, get others to hear and appreciate it for what it is, and then start walking.This was helpful because 1)it's just so important to "stay in the moment" for even just a bit because i think it's necessary to "give it a voice" and to believe it for what it is. 2)it's equally important that others see "that moment" for what it is; it is a part of you and real and not something that should "just go away until it can behave more maturely or not respond immaturely, etc." and 3)it's also important after adequate time to move forward and let the "new" settle into the "accepted" mode and keep going forward to the next thing.
I've always believed... though i often fail to apply *smile*... that you have to be moving in some direction for anything to happen good OR bad. if you just dig in your heels and stay put, nothing ever changes. and you'll never know unless you move. My therapist uses another illustration: "you don't want to stay in this spot! talk through it so you'll be at the other side and keep talking so you don't get stuck in the mud in the middle of it." The idea is that momentum is necessary and helpful.
> good stuff it out there waiting for you to grab it :)Thanks for the shot in the arm. I hope you find your own energy-boost today. thanks for taking the time to write to me even though you were spent.
~terra
Posted by terra miller on August 14, 2001, at 12:21:56
In reply to Re: sigh.... when does it get better? » terra miller, posted by akc on August 14, 2001, at 7:52:07
AKC~
>
> I really relate to what you are saying. I had a therapist appointment yesterday and was reminded about how I am dealing with my episodes so much better. My attitude is big F'in deal.I can't stop laughin' about this one. I know EXACTLY what you mean! yes, it's nice to be understood and affirmed and encouraged in therapy. but there are times when i just think, "Who cares! YOU deal with this!" :-)
>-- they still hurt just as bad,yes.
>they still come as frequently,
i know.
>they still make me as crazed as always.i find this particularly annoying.
>I too just want to know when it really will get better -- when it will just end. I know this doesn't answer your question. I just hope it makes you feel less alone.
It does. Thanks for understanding. I hope you also find a lull of peace in your journey. I actually slept through the night last night, and I didn't take anything to make that happen. Honestly, I have no idea which year it was when I last did that. I'm not sure what to do with having been out for that long. Peace to you as well.
~terra
Posted by terra miller on August 14, 2001, at 12:27:08
In reply to Re: sigh.... when does it get better? » akc, posted by Kingfish on August 14, 2001, at 10:13:28
Hi,
>A friend asked me if the side effects of my meds were really worth dealing with, and it brought up the memories of being very close to suicide, and being more self-destructive than I am now.yes. you are right about this. i think back to the very reason that i "agreed" to start meds was that i could no longer ensure my behaving safely and rationally and not doing either 1)something stupid and ending my life or 2)something planned and ending my life. that's when i knew it was time to get some help from medication. i am still self-destructive at times, but i also don't worry myself as much that i am an actual danger to myself. my meds. seemed to have helped that considerably, and i'm extremely grateful for that. Thanks for the reminder.
~ter
Posted by terra miller on August 14, 2001, at 12:35:59
In reply to Re: sigh.... when does it get better? » Kingfish, posted by sar on August 14, 2001, at 10:44:16
hi, sar~
> this is a good place to be, many kind ppl--i've liked the people i've met at the other board. i got smart early on and only read the posts that would be helpful and which i could tell were not emotionally loaded. :-) i've learned so much over there it's amazing. there are times when you just need to talk about stuff besides my latest side-effect *smile*, so i'm glad this board is here as well. i like how balanced people seem overall.
> you're not alone in feeling this way...what are your diagnoses/meds?
thanks. i'm taking wellbutrin i.r. 75mgX4/dy=300mg/day (what an equation!) on a regular basis. i also have ambien which i take as needed, and i have xanax as needed as well.
i'm a bit shy to share the dx-thing. saying PTSD basically covers it. it was the first dx i was given... where it all started. since then it's expanded a bit more specifically (grrrrr!) but saying PTSD covers it well enough.thanks again. -terra
Posted by sar on August 14, 2001, at 13:39:27
In reply to Re: My last post meant for Terra-sorry. » Kingfish, posted by akc on August 14, 2001, at 11:20:03
mine was too...just accidentally clicked on "add name of previous poster"
love ya anyway tho kingfish!
Posted by Kingfish on August 14, 2001, at 14:05:45
In reply to Re: My last post meant for Terra-sorry. , posted by sar on August 14, 2001, at 13:39:27
> Thanks. I blame everything wrong I do on the Prozac now. ;)
Posted by sar on August 14, 2001, at 17:20:01
In reply to Re: My last post meant for Terra-sorry. , posted by Kingfish on August 14, 2001, at 14:05:45
> > Thanks. I blame everything wrong I do on the Prozac now. ;)
hey, me too! that or the klonopin.
:)
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