Posted by terra miller on August 14, 2001, at 12:15:09
In reply to Re: sigh.... when does it get better?, posted by mila on August 13, 2001, at 23:41:18
thanks, mila. you had some really profoundly helpful things to say that i can take ahold of and chew on for a bit!
This was VERY insightful:
>When you feel like it is hard, think about it as a firm ground under your feet.
>Stay in a moment for a while, feel it fully, validate it, get others to hear and appreciate it for what it is, and then start walking.This was helpful because 1)it's just so important to "stay in the moment" for even just a bit because i think it's necessary to "give it a voice" and to believe it for what it is. 2)it's equally important that others see "that moment" for what it is; it is a part of you and real and not something that should "just go away until it can behave more maturely or not respond immaturely, etc." and 3)it's also important after adequate time to move forward and let the "new" settle into the "accepted" mode and keep going forward to the next thing.
I've always believed... though i often fail to apply *smile*... that you have to be moving in some direction for anything to happen good OR bad. if you just dig in your heels and stay put, nothing ever changes. and you'll never know unless you move. My therapist uses another illustration: "you don't want to stay in this spot! talk through it so you'll be at the other side and keep talking so you don't get stuck in the mud in the middle of it." The idea is that momentum is necessary and helpful.
> good stuff it out there waiting for you to grab it :)Thanks for the shot in the arm. I hope you find your own energy-boost today. thanks for taking the time to write to me even though you were spent.
~terra
poster:terra miller
thread:9512
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010812/msgs/9558.html