![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by geekUK on July 21, 2001, at 17:38:36
I remember reading a post a while back about mental illness and popularisation. that it is easyer to say that Your a (head)'case'. Yeah, I a gree to that but the most pissing off thing is the trivialisation. eg. my male flatmate just told me that I should not be on drugs / not in therapy and should just get on with it......b*****.
He has an ally mc beal view of depression that although is real is often not as simple.
I wonder how he would respond if I told him to stop with the benzidrine inhaler (stimulants are bad MMkay).
Posted by AKC on July 21, 2001, at 18:15:14
In reply to dont u just have pee-pull??, posted by geekUK on July 21, 2001, at 17:38:36
As with so many things in life, most people don't have a clue if they haven't lived it - tell him to shove it - and keep doing what you know is right. If the meds help and the therapy helps, keep doing it - and if it doesn't, try a different med and a different therapist. Because if you have a mental illness, no matter how great your attitude and how hard you pull on those damn bootstraps, it just doesn't go away on its own.
Posted by kid_A on July 21, 2001, at 22:22:53
In reply to dont u just have pee-pull??, posted by geekUK on July 21, 2001, at 17:38:36
People who have never experienced it, who have no f'ing idea about it, who couldnt describe the feeling at all if they had to give us advice about how we should take care of ourselves...Sad Sad Sad... Like I said, ditto on the last post... they dont know so they cant, may never understand... dont stress it, and dont take it as an insult... they just dont know...
Posted by Willow on July 21, 2001, at 22:48:36
In reply to ditto ditto ditto an infinitum....etc.... » geekUK, posted by kid_A on July 21, 2001, at 22:22:53
> Sad Sad Sad... Like I said, ditto on the last post... they dont know so they cant, may never understand... dont stress it, and dont take it as an insult... they just dont know...Not until my head was "spinning" out of control whenever I moved or tried to think did I understand my father's distress when his illness, schizophrenia, flared it's nasty head. Once I was unable to concentrate was I able to recognize how he must have felt during these times. Sometimes you just have to try it yourself! And yes at times I had asked him if he wouldn't have been better off without his medication considering the physical damage it had done to him.
But now I know what good is a body without a mind!?!??
Here's a link for the roomie
http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.begin.htmlWhispering Willow
Posted by sar on July 22, 2001, at 2:51:24
In reply to Re: ditto ditto ditto an infinitum....etc...., posted by Willow on July 21, 2001, at 22:48:36
Props to the other posters, they're right-on.
I can't imagine how cancer feels or how AIDS feels, but depression can feel like--dying.
I don't even know if undepressesed people deserve to be shown informative, scientific/psychological info on depression. As a whole, they seem to just Not Get It. Eat potatoes instead of prozac, get married, paint, do some yoga, look at the bright side of things!
depression is one of those confusing confounding controversial illnesses. i think of it like this: a reasonably happy healthy person doesn't know what major depression feels like, and I equivocate (is that a word?) to me (suburban white girl) not knowng how it would have felt to be a slave in the south 150 yrs ago. I can only vaguely imagine, and it exists in my mind as some sort of story, and to think that people really experieced the whole of their lives that way--well, it can be too much to swallow without feeling absolutely blastedly terrible.
Unfortunately, depression is still highly stigmatized...I recently made the decision to never discuss it in dpeth with my friends...to some of my closer firends I say that I've got "some sort of mood disorder" but the masses--well, lots of them are depressed themselves and Know, and if they don't well fuck 'em.
Is depression private for a reason? perhaps. i know nothing. i just know the differnece in people's understanding of it--and you'll see it in their eyes without having to explain.
wishing you well,
sar
Posted by Anna Laura on July 22, 2001, at 7:57:59
In reply to Re: ditto ditto ditto an infinitum....etc...., posted by sar on July 22, 2001, at 2:51:24
> Props to the other posters, they're right-on.
>
> I can't imagine how cancer feels or how AIDS feels, but depression can feel like--dying.
>
> I don't even know if undepressesed people deserve to be shown informative, scientific/psychological info on depression. As a whole, they seem to just Not Get It. Eat potatoes instead of prozac, get married, paint, do some yoga, look at the bright side of things!
>
> depression is one of those confusing confounding controversial illnesses. i think of it like this: a reasonably happy healthy person doesn't know what major depression feels like, and I equivocate (is that a word?) to me (suburban white girl) not knowng how it would have felt to be a slave in the south 150 yrs ago. I can only vaguely imagine, and it exists in my mind as some sort of story, and to think that people really experieced the whole of their lives that way--well, it can be too much to swallow without feeling absolutely blastedly terrible.
>
> Unfortunately, depression is still highly stigmatized...I recently made the decision to never discuss it in dpeth with my friends...to some of my closer firends I say that I've got "some sort of mood disorder" but the masses--well, lots of them are depressed themselves and Know, and if they don't well fuck 'em.
>
> Is depression private for a reason? perhaps. i know nothing. i just know the differnece in people's understanding of it--and you'll see it in their eyes without having to explain.
>
> wishing you well,
> sarHi Sar
I definetely subscribe every single line of your post.
I saw my mother yesterday (second time in seven years). I felt terrible, i felt that there was a fire burning inside my head, didn't know where to turn, i had to swallow an antipsychotic just to look normal (trying to quit meds i suspect they're making my depression worse, still it's like jumping down from a ship in a middle of a storm).
My mother asked me how i felt (i guess she realized i wasn't o.k.) i told her that i felt sick because i had my period. Couldn't eat, swallowing food was such a pain!
My mother's fianceé realized i was forcing myself to eat; he asked me why ;"don't you like the food i prepared for you?" he said.
"Sorry, i feel noxious" i answered.
After eleven years of depression i realized i can't talk about it. I'm sick and tired of hearing words like "React!" or "Do something!"
they make me feel as i was retarded.
That's why i have to conceal my secret monster, depression. Another reason is that i'm afraid my family would put me in some kind of asylum.
Yesterday i hardly made it trough the day: i felt like i did LSD; i could hardly understand what was going on, what people were saying, etc...
In the worst moments i hid myself in the bathroom. That's the only think i can do: i just can't get any support. My fianceé wouldn't understand either. He was like" I know you don't feel so bad, you think you feel bad, you're just scared and fear makes you think you feel terrible wheares you'd only be a little sick.
Fear is capable of making things look bigger then they're normally".
When i told him i lost my ideals and i lost myself, the person i used to be, he would say things like: "it's just an impression, it's not real"
"How can you tell this? You're not inside my head" i told him.
"I can tell that because i can feel you"
"I don't feel anything whatsoever instead and you're in denial because you don't want to face the truth".
"You're not so sick" he would add.
Then i would end the discussion saying :"o.k. you're right, would you leave me alone now ?".That's it folks. I think you are the only ones who can understand what i'm going through.
Posted by dreamer on July 22, 2001, at 9:10:46
In reply to Re: ditto ditto ditto an infinitum....etc...., posted by Anna Laura on July 22, 2001, at 7:57:59
> > Props to the other posters, they're right-on.
> >
> > I can't imagine how cancer feels or how AIDS feels, but depression can feel like--dying.
> >
> > I don't even know if undepressesed people deserve to be shown informative, scientific/psychological info on depression. As a whole, they seem to just Not Get It. Eat potatoes instead of prozac, get married, paint, do some yoga, look at the bright side of things!
> >
> > depression is one of those confusing confounding controversial illnesses. i think of it like this: a reasonably happy healthy person doesn't know what major depression feels like, and I equivocate (is that a word?) to me (suburban white girl) not knowng how it would have felt to be a slave in the south 150 yrs ago. I can only vaguely imagine, and it exists in my mind as some sort of story, and to think that people really experieced the whole of their lives that way--well, it can be too much to swallow without feeling absolutely blastedly terrible.
> >
> > Unfortunately, depression is still highly stigmatized...I recently made the decision to never discuss it in dpeth with my friends...to some of my closer firends I say that I've got "some sort of mood disorder" but the masses--well, lots of them are depressed themselves and Know, and if they don't well fuck 'em.
> >
> > Is depression private for a reason? perhaps. i know nothing. i just know the differnece in people's understanding of it--and you'll see it in their eyes without having to explain.
> >
> > wishing you well,
> > sar
>
> Hi Sar
>
> I definetely subscribe every single line of your post.
> I saw my mother yesterday (second time in seven years). I felt terrible, i felt that there was a fire burning inside my head, didn't know where to turn, i had to swallow an antipsychotic just to look normal (trying to quit meds i suspect they're making my depression worse, still it's like jumping down from a ship in a middle of a storm).
> My mother asked me how i felt (i guess she realized i wasn't o.k.) i told her that i felt sick because i had my period. Couldn't eat, swallowing food was such a pain!
> My mother's fianceé realized i was forcing myself to eat; he asked me why ;"don't you like the food i prepared for you?" he said.
> "Sorry, i feel noxious" i answered.
> After eleven years of depression i realized i can't talk about it. I'm sick and tired of hearing words like "React!" or "Do something!"
> they make me feel as i was retarded.
> That's why i have to conceal my secret monster, depression. Another reason is that i'm afraid my family would put me in some kind of asylum.
> Yesterday i hardly made it trough the day: i felt like i did LSD; i could hardly understand what was going on, what people were saying, etc...
> In the worst moments i hid myself in the bathroom. That's the only think i can do: i just can't get any support. My fianceé wouldn't understand either. He was like" I know you don't feel so bad, you think you feel bad, you're just scared and fear makes you think you feel terrible wheares you'd only be a little sick.
> Fear is capable of making things look bigger then they're normally".
> When i told him i lost my ideals and i lost myself, the person i used to be, he would say things like: "it's just an impression, it's not real"
> "How can you tell this? You're not inside my head" i told him.
> "I can tell that because i can feel you"
> "I don't feel anything whatsoever instead and you're in denial because you don't want to face the truth".
> "You're not so sick" he would add.
> Then i would end the discussion saying :"o.k. you're right, would you leave me alone now ?".
>
> That's it folks. I think you are the only ones who can understand what i'm going through.Hi Anna,
At the moment I am in a good mood but I can relate to everything you say and I know it sounds corny but had a tear in my eye.
You've probably heard many times that things will get better ,life does offer great joy, happiness although it can feel such a dark empty struggle and depression will never leave our lifes for our memories can be cruel and deeply set; it's such a slippy, rocky path up to that mountain but I wish you many wonderful veiws in the future.
Posted by dreamer on July 22, 2001, at 9:18:14
In reply to dont u just have pee-pull??, posted by geekUK on July 21, 2001, at 17:38:36
> I remember reading a post a while back about mental illness and popularisation. that it is easyer to say that Your a (head)'case'. Yeah, I a gree to that but the most pissing off thing is the trivialisation. eg. my male flatmate just told me that I should not be on drugs / not in therapy and should just get on with it......b*****.
> He has an ally mc beal view of depression that although is real is often not as simple.
> I wonder how he would respond if I told him to stop with the benzidrine inhaler (stimulants are bad MMkay).Is he a member of the flat earth society?
Posted by sar on July 22, 2001, at 10:03:48
In reply to Re: dont u just have pee-pull?? » geekUK, posted by dreamer on July 22, 2001, at 9:18:14
> > I remember reading a post a while back about mental illness and popularisation. that it is easyer to say that Your a (head)'case'. Yeah, I a gree to that but the most pissing off thing is the trivialisation. eg. my male flatmate just told me that I should not be on drugs / not in therapy and should just get on with it......b*****.
> > He has an ally mc beal view of depression that although is real is often not as simple.
> > I wonder how he would respond if I told him to stop with the benzidrine inhaler (stimulants are bad MMkay).
>
> Is he a member of the flat earth society?
Posted by NikkiT2 on July 22, 2001, at 10:34:12
In reply to Re: ditto ditto ditto an infinitum....etc...., posted by Anna Laura on July 22, 2001, at 7:57:59
I could have almost written some of that post...
I ahve spent so so so long trying to "hide" my illness form others... I have hidden it so well, the poeple I have chosen to open up to are shocked, and at first think they thought I was just "a bit down", but a few I ahve really told how awful it is, and how deep it goes, and really epxclained to them, and they are now the most supportive people you can find.
But still my husband resists, and thinks I can pop out of this if I wanted, he can't udnerstand how it affects my whole life, and how i can't cope with daily life - Your way of saying it wqas like being on LSD is true... the paranoia that everyone can see it in your face and that they're all looking at you becaus eof it... My anti psychotics are really helping though...
nikki xx
> > Props to the other posters, they're right-on.
> >
> > I can't imagine how cancer feels or how AIDS feels, but depression can feel like--dying.
> >
> > I don't even know if undepressesed people deserve to be shown informative, scientific/psychological info on depression. As a whole, they seem to just Not Get It. Eat potatoes instead of prozac, get married, paint, do some yoga, look at the bright side of things!
> >
> > depression is one of those confusing confounding controversial illnesses. i think of it like this: a reasonably happy healthy person doesn't know what major depression feels like, and I equivocate (is that a word?) to me (suburban white girl) not knowng how it would have felt to be a slave in the south 150 yrs ago. I can only vaguely imagine, and it exists in my mind as some sort of story, and to think that people really experieced the whole of their lives that way--well, it can be too much to swallow without feeling absolutely blastedly terrible.
> >
> > Unfortunately, depression is still highly stigmatized...I recently made the decision to never discuss it in dpeth with my friends...to some of my closer firends I say that I've got "some sort of mood disorder" but the masses--well, lots of them are depressed themselves and Know, and if they don't well fuck 'em.
> >
> > Is depression private for a reason? perhaps. i know nothing. i just know the differnece in people's understanding of it--and you'll see it in their eyes without having to explain.
> >
> > wishing you well,
> > sar
>
> Hi Sar
>
> I definetely subscribe every single line of your post.
> I saw my mother yesterday (second time in seven years). I felt terrible, i felt that there was a fire burning inside my head, didn't know where to turn, i had to swallow an antipsychotic just to look normal (trying to quit meds i suspect they're making my depression worse, still it's like jumping down from a ship in a middle of a storm).
> My mother asked me how i felt (i guess she realized i wasn't o.k.) i told her that i felt sick because i had my period. Couldn't eat, swallowing food was such a pain!
> My mother's fianceé realized i was forcing myself to eat; he asked me why ;"don't you like the food i prepared for you?" he said.
> "Sorry, i feel noxious" i answered.
> After eleven years of depression i realized i can't talk about it. I'm sick and tired of hearing words like "React!" or "Do something!"
> they make me feel as i was retarded.
> That's why i have to conceal my secret monster, depression. Another reason is that i'm afraid my family would put me in some kind of asylum.
> Yesterday i hardly made it trough the day: i felt like i did LSD; i could hardly understand what was going on, what people were saying, etc...
> In the worst moments i hid myself in the bathroom. That's the only think i can do: i just can't get any support. My fianceé wouldn't understand either. He was like" I know you don't feel so bad, you think you feel bad, you're just scared and fear makes you think you feel terrible wheares you'd only be a little sick.
> Fear is capable of making things look bigger then they're normally".
> When i told him i lost my ideals and i lost myself, the person i used to be, he would say things like: "it's just an impression, it's not real"
> "How can you tell this? You're not inside my head" i told him.
> "I can tell that because i can feel you"
> "I don't feel anything whatsoever instead and you're in denial because you don't want to face the truth".
> "You're not so sick" he would add.
> Then i would end the discussion saying :"o.k. you're right, would you leave me alone now ?".
>
> That's it folks. I think you are the only ones who can understand what i'm going through.
Posted by geekUK on July 22, 2001, at 12:29:42
In reply to Re: ditto ditto ditto an infinitum....etc.... » Anna Laura, posted by NikkiT2 on July 22, 2001, at 10:34:12
yep, ditto ditto-just venting! I am sure we all know who is and who is not a beleiver. generaly the ones with the lightning behind there eyes.
next time i will definitly use this-
> Then i would end the discussion saying :"o.k. you're right, would you leave me alone now ?".
I generally just go quiet, that is better.
Posted by kid_A on July 22, 2001, at 16:30:10
In reply to Re: ditto ditto ditto an infinitum....etc...., posted by geekUK on July 22, 2001, at 12:29:42
they think its just a mood, or you're 'cranky' or a winer or whatever arrghhh.... oh well... its been asked of me before, its so stupid that its funny...
Posted by Wendy B. on July 23, 2001, at 2:14:19
In reply to Re: ditto ditto ditto an infinitum....etc...., posted by Anna Laura on July 22, 2001, at 7:57:59
> Hi Sar
>
> I definetely subscribe every single line of your post.
> I saw my mother yesterday (second time in seven years). I felt terrible, i felt that there was a fire burning inside my head, didn't know where to turn, i had to swallow an antipsychotic just to look normal (trying to quit meds i suspect they're making my depression worse, still it's like jumping down from a ship in a middle of a storm).
> My mother asked me how i felt (i guess she realized i wasn't o.k.) i told her that i felt sick because i had my period. Couldn't eat, swallowing food was such a pain!
> My mother's fianceé realized i was forcing myself to eat; he asked me why ;"don't you like the food i prepared for you?" he said.
> "Sorry, i feel noxious" i answered.
> After eleven years of depression i realized i can't talk about it. I'm sick and tired of hearing words like "React!" or "Do something!"
> they make me feel as i was retarded.
> That's why i have to conceal my secret monster, depression. Another reason is that i'm afraid my family would put me in some kind of asylum.
> Yesterday i hardly made it trough the day: i felt like i did LSD; i could hardly understand what was going on, what people were saying, etc...
> In the worst moments i hid myself in the bathroom. That's the only think i can do: i just can't get any support. My fianceé wouldn't understand either. He was like" I know you don't feel so bad, you think you feel bad, you're just scared and fear makes you think you feel terrible wheares you'd only be a little sick.
> Fear is capable of making things look bigger then they're normally".
> When i told him i lost my ideals and i lost myself, the person i used to be, he would say things like: "it's just an impression, it's not real"
> "How can you tell this? You're not inside my head" i told him.
> "I can tell that because i can feel you"
> "I don't feel anything whatsoever instead and you're in denial because you don't want to face the truth".
> "You're not so sick" he would add.
> Then i would end the discussion saying :"o.k. you're right, would you leave me alone now ?".
>
> That's it folks. I think you are the only ones who can understand what i'm going through.
Hi Anna Laura,
I'm sorry about your awful visit with your mother... It's so painful to realize, for the millionth time, that your mother will never be able to give you what you want. I mean, even though we intellectually know this, it still pains us - eternally, it seems.
I'm currently trying to examine why my father left me and my other 3 siblings when we were young, I was an infant, and never knew him.... he was a drunk, and has since lived all over, marrying several times, having more children, and then leaving them, too. It's killing me, making me be unable to choose the right man for a partner again and again, and I'm in my 40s. I've committed myself to trying to find out where my father lives, and face him in person, eventually... Then I also wonder what it will accomplish, but my therapist thinks it would be worth it. It's been sooooo hard, and I have been tearful for >months< over it. Why now? why me?
To make me laugh, a friend said, why don't you start your own web site where people try to find the fathers who abandoned them? He says, you can call it: "find-the-bastard-who-ruined-your-life dot com." Or other similar variations, using all sorts of bad language which I won't print right now (unless asked to!)
Also wondered why you are stopping your medications? You may have mentioned it in a post that I didn't happen to read, sorry. I think right now is precisely when you do need them. (Just my opinion...)All the very best, as usual, bella,
Wendy
Posted by Anna Laura on July 23, 2001, at 6:23:41
In reply to Re: ditto ditto ditto an infinitum....etc.... » Anna Laura, posted by Wendy B. on July 23, 2001, at 2:14:19
> > Hi Sar
> >
> > I definetely subscribe every single line of your post.
> > I saw my mother yesterday (second time in seven years). I felt terrible, i felt that there was a fire burning inside my head, didn't know where to turn, i had to swallow an antipsychotic just to look normal (trying to quit meds i suspect they're making my depression worse, still it's like jumping down from a ship in a middle of a storm).
> > My mother asked me how i felt (i guess she realized i wasn't o.k.) i told her that i felt sick because i had my period. Couldn't eat, swallowing food was such a pain!
> > My mother's fianceé realized i was forcing myself to eat; he asked me why ;"don't you like the food i prepared for you?" he said.
> > "Sorry, i feel noxious" i answered.
> > After eleven years of depression i realized i can't talk about it. I'm sick and tired of hearing words like "React!" or "Do something!"
> > they make me feel as i was retarded.
> > That's why i have to conceal my secret monster, depression. Another reason is that i'm afraid my family would put me in some kind of asylum.
> > Yesterday i hardly made it trough the day: i felt like i did LSD; i could hardly understand what was going on, what people were saying, etc...
> > In the worst moments i hid myself in the bathroom. That's the only think i can do: i just can't get any support. My fianceé wouldn't understand either. He was like" I know you don't feel so bad, you think you feel bad, you're just scared and fear makes you think you feel terrible wheares you'd only be a little sick.
> > Fear is capable of making things look bigger then they're normally".
> > When i told him i lost my ideals and i lost myself, the person i used to be, he would say things like: "it's just an impression, it's not real"
> > "How can you tell this? You're not inside my head" i told him.
> > "I can tell that because i can feel you"
> > "I don't feel anything whatsoever instead and you're in denial because you don't want to face the truth".
> > "You're not so sick" he would add.
> > Then i would end the discussion saying :"o.k. you're right, would you leave me alone now ?".
> >
> > That's it folks. I think you are the only ones who can understand what i'm going through.
>
>
> Hi Anna Laura,
> I'm sorry about your awful visit with your mother... It's so painful to realize, for the millionth time, that your mother will never be able to give you what you want. I mean, even though we intellectually know this, it still pains us - eternally, it seems.
> I'm currently trying to examine why my father left me and my other 3 siblings when we were young, I was an infant, and never knew him.... he was a drunk, and has since lived all over, marrying several times, having more children, and then leaving them, too. It's killing me, making me be unable to choose the right man for a partner again and again, and I'm in my 40s. I've committed myself to trying to find out where my father lives, and face him in person, eventually... Then I also wonder what it will accomplish, but my therapist thinks it would be worth it. It's been sooooo hard, and I have been tearful for >months< over it. Why now? why me?
> To make me laugh, a friend said, why don't you start your own web site where people try to find the fathers who abandoned them? He says, you can call it: "find-the-bastard-who-ruined-your-life dot com." Or other similar variations, using all sorts of bad language which I won't print right now (unless asked to!)
> Also wondered why you are stopping your medications? You may have mentioned it in a post that I didn't happen to read, sorry. I think right now is precisely when you do need them. (Just my opinion...)
>
> All the very best, as usual, bella,
>
> WendyCiao Wendy,
You asked why i wanted to stop my med... The problem is that i started to feel sick again last week while i was on them so I thought i was taking the wrong combo. (i took benzos and antypsichotics years ago and they both made my depression worse).
So i suspected that this med cocktail triggered my depression instead of soothing it, being benzos and antypsichotics depressors of the nervous system after all.
That's why i wanted to quit them, but i didn't make it 'cause i felt too sick.
I'm going to see a new pdoc tomorrow and i'll ask him if i can switch to effexor....
That's it. Hope it's going to get better.Ti faccio tanti auguri,
BlessingsAnna Laura
Posted by Wendy B. on July 27, 2001, at 14:29:51
In reply to Re: ditto ditto ditto an infinitum....etc...., posted by Anna Laura on July 23, 2001, at 6:23:41
(...)
> > Yesterday i hardly made it trough the day: i felt like i did LSD; i could hardly understand what was going on, what people were saying, etc...
> > > In the worst moments i hid myself in the bathroom. That's the only think i can do: i just can't get any support. My fianceé wouldn't understand either. He was like" I know you don't feel so bad, you think you feel bad, you're just scared and fear makes you think you feel terrible wheares you'd only be a little sick.
> > > Fear is capable of making things look bigger then they're normally".
> > > When i told him i lost my ideals and i lost myself, the person i used to be, he would say things like: "it's just an impression, it's not real"
> > > "How can you tell this? You're not inside my head" i told him.
> > > "I can tell that because i can feel you"
> > > "I don't feel anything whatsoever instead and you're in denial because you don't want to face the truth".
> > > "You're not so sick" he would add.
> > > Then i would end the discussion saying :"o.k. you're right, would you leave me alone now ?".
> > >
> > > That's it folks. I think you are the only ones who can understand what i'm going through.
> >
> >
> > Hi Anna Laura,
> > I'm sorry about your awful visit with your mother... It's so painful to realize, for the millionth time, that your mother will never be able to give you what you want. I mean, even though we intellectually know this, it still pains us - eternally, it seems.
> > I'm currently trying to examine why my father left me and my other 3 siblings when we were young, I was an infant, and never knew him.... he was a drunk, and has since lived all over, marrying several times, having more children, and then leaving them, too. It's killing me, making me be unable to choose the right man for a partner again and again, and I'm in my 40s. I've committed myself to trying to find out where my father lives, and face him in person, eventually... Then I also wonder what it will accomplish, but my therapist thinks it would be worth it. It's been sooooo hard, and I have been tearful for >months< over it. Why now? why me?
> > To make me laugh, a friend said, why don't you start your own web site where people try to find the fathers who abandoned them? He says, you can call it: "find-the-bastard-who-ruined-your-life dot com." Or other similar variations, using all sorts of bad language which I won't print right now (unless asked to!)
> > Also wondered why you are stopping your medications? You may have mentioned it in a post that I didn't happen to read, sorry. I think right now is precisely when you do need them. (Just my opinion...)
> >
> > All the very best, as usual, bella,
> >
> > Wendy
>
> Ciao Wendy,
>
> You asked why i wanted to stop my med... The problem is that i started to feel sick again last week while i was on them so I thought i was taking the wrong combo. (i took benzos and antypsichotics years ago and they both made my depression worse).
> So i suspected that this med cocktail triggered my depression instead of soothing it, being benzos and antypsichotics depressors of the nervous system after all.
> That's why i wanted to quit them, but i didn't make it 'cause i felt too sick.
> I'm going to see a new pdoc tomorrow and i'll ask him if i can switch to effexor....
> That's it. Hope it's going to get better.
>
> Ti faccio tanti auguri,
> Blessings
>
> Anna Laura
Anna Laura,
I'm so sorry, I lapsed for a few days because I was - where? Very amusing - at my mother's. It was very depressing. They have a "Windows" machine, and I HATE working with it, thru an AOL account, which I also hate. And their machine is soooo slow, it's murder to check the Babble boards from there. I also challenged you on the Freud discussion, sorry, I get opinionated...)
But I did find out more about where my real father lives on this trip, so maybe I will be able to figure out that puzzle.What about the meds? Did you see the p-doc? You have to stay on meds, you know. It's very common for us to want to go off them, though. Tell me what happened there, I'm back and listening...
Your friend,
Wendy
Posted by Wendy B. on July 28, 2001, at 15:58:11
In reply to Re: ditto ditto ditto an infinitum....etc.... » Anna Laura, posted by Wendy B. on July 27, 2001, at 14:29:51
PS: I didn't actually post that thing about the Freud books, so never mind...
Posted by Anna Laura on July 29, 2001, at 2:20:28
In reply to Re: ditto ditto ditto an infinitum....etc.... » Anna Laura, posted by Wendy B. on July 27, 2001, at 14:29:51
> >
> > Ciao Wendy,
> >
> > You asked why i wanted to stop my med... The problem is that i started to feel sick again last week while i was on them so I thought i was taking the wrong combo. (i took benzos and antypsichotics years ago and they both made my depression worse).
> > So i suspected that this med cocktail triggered my depression instead of soothing it, being benzos and antypsichotics depressors of the nervous system after all.
> > That's why i wanted to quit them, but i didn't make it 'cause i felt too sick.
> > I'm going to see a new pdoc tomorrow and i'll ask him if i can switch to effexor....
> > That's it. Hope it's going to get better.
> >
> > Ti faccio tanti auguri,
> > Blessings
> >
> > Anna Laura
>
>
> Anna Laura,
> I'm so sorry, I lapsed for a few days because I was - where? Very amusing - at my mother's. It was very depressing. They have a "Windows" machine, and I HATE working with it, thru an AOL account, which I also hate. And their machine is soooo slow, it's murder to check the Babble boards from there. I also challenged you on the Freud discussion, sorry, I get opinionated...)
> But I did find out more about where my real father lives on this trip, so maybe I will be able to figure out that puzzle.
>
> What about the meds? Did you see the p-doc? You have to stay on meds, you know. It's very common for us to want to go off them, though. Tell me what happened there, I'm back and listening...
>
> Your friend,
> WendyI saw the pdoc a few days ago: he told me the cure the other pdoc gave me it's too much sedative and put me on effexor. Hope that works....
Anna Laura
Posted by Willow on July 29, 2001, at 10:43:54
In reply to Re: ditto ditto ditto an infinitum....etc...., posted by Anna Laura on July 29, 2001, at 2:20:28
Anna
I like your name. I can't remember your situation, I'm sorta out of sorts, puppy disturbed my sleep last night. Anyway was wondering what you are taking the medication for? And if you have any "talk" support?
Wondering Willow
Posted by Anna Laura on July 30, 2001, at 9:16:00
In reply to Anna Laura, posted by Willow on July 29, 2001, at 10:43:54
> Anna
>
> I like your name. I can't remember your situation, I'm sorta out of sorts, puppy disturbed my sleep last night. Anyway was wondering what you are taking the medication for? And if you have any "talk" support?
>
> Wondering WillowI've been depressed for eleven years so far....ups and downs. I've been psychotic but i recovered from that. I suffered from residual symptoms for a few years (mainly anhedonia).
I eventually fell in the "black hole" again last winter. Took Imipramine and felt better (still anhedonia though).
I've been feeling sick in the last four weeks or so. I think the wrong med cocktai (mainly sedative) played a role.
Saw a new pdoc who told me to switch to effexor: that's what i'm doing at the moment.
Still no effects though. I hope that works 'cause i think i can't handle another downward spyral anymore.
The thing that makes me feel real bad it's that i lost myself trough the years. I used to have strong personal opinion on everything, i felt my strenght, i still had faith somewhat (i'm not talking about religion, i'm talking about believing in something so that life has some meaning for you).
I'm not doing any talk therapy at the moment: it's so difficult to find an empathetic therapist!
Posted by Willow on July 30, 2001, at 9:45:41
In reply to Re: Anna Laura, posted by Anna Laura on July 30, 2001, at 9:16:00
> I'm not doing any talk therapy at the moment: it's so difficult to find an empathetic therapist!I too have a history and am taking effexor. I strongly believe that the medication wouldn't have helped me without the emotional support and guidance. Ask your psych about a good therapist, it will not hurt to try, and you may be happy with the results!
Willow
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