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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by jammerlich on March 21, 2007, at 20:37:11
I'm in a funk and it's a serious one. I don't know how else to describe it. But it sucks. Had T yesterday. She commented on some things I've done well and I just wanted to *scream* at her, "I AM NOT DOING WELL!!!" I'd never really tell her, though. Not ever.
Unfortunately, I seem to be stuck with myself; but other people don't have to be. The best way I can think of to not subject my IRL people to me is to not be in town. So, I think I'm going to hit the road. Just pick a direction and drive. I think I really will. I don't want to cope. I don't want to face things. I don't want to think about why I feel the way I do. I just want to run.
Posted by Dinah on March 21, 2007, at 20:54:37
In reply to Funk, posted by jammerlich on March 21, 2007, at 20:37:11
I often have the same thought.
Are you around? I can meet you in Chat.
Posted by jammerlich on March 21, 2007, at 21:07:33
In reply to Re: Funk » jammerlich, posted by Dinah on March 21, 2007, at 20:54:37
Thank you, Dinah. You are very kind to offer. I just don't feel too much like talking.
Posted by Poet on March 21, 2007, at 23:20:37
In reply to Funk, posted by jammerlich on March 21, 2007, at 20:37:11
Hi Jammerlich,
I've never tried to pack up and run away. I've thought about it, but never done it, primarily because I can't run away from my thoughts.
What direction will you drive in? I would drive someplace warm and sunny.
Poet
Posted by Iwillsurvive on March 21, 2007, at 23:26:32
In reply to Funk, posted by jammerlich on March 21, 2007, at 20:37:11
Ya, mebbe you do need to have a trip somewhere for a break?
Or just drive and listen to tunes?
If you overwhelmed , mebbe just take prescribed meds as needed?
Jammer, I wish I knew what to say to you so you could break thru your walls you've built around you. They are breakable, and it feels scarey but OK to have them come down a bit.
Its OK to be scared.
The real Jammer behind those walls is proly just fine, not bad.
Just like the real IWS behind my wall wasn't some evil gross beast.
There's a little Jammer that just wants someone to care. And there's people who do, but there's a Jammer that won't let them thru her wall.
For me it all seemed so crazy and impossible.
But here I am, somewhat damaged, somewhat f*cked up, still rather a screwup, but damn, most of the time I am OK with me now!?!? Go figger.
I never woulda thot it.
Try and be safe Jam, and take care of yourself, and mebbe let some safe people in closer to you, and mebbe keep the harmful ones at arms lenghth for a bit?
I wish I knew the right words.....
Posted by gazo on March 22, 2007, at 12:24:05
In reply to Funk, posted by jammerlich on March 21, 2007, at 20:37:11
> She commented on some things I've done well and I just wanted to *scream* at her, "I AM NOT DOING WELL!!!"
That I understand. I appear like I am doing great to other people... say the "right" things about how I am doing. It's always been disappointing to me that noone has ever really bothered to look deeper or ask more questions. If you can't tell her that you aren't doing well... can you tell her that sometimes you can't seem to express yourself and you need her to probe a little deeper? That's what I am going to ask my new T to do.. I just can't break through my own barriers to reach out.
Posted by Dinah on March 22, 2007, at 12:26:34
In reply to Re: Funk » jammerlich, posted by gazo on March 22, 2007, at 12:24:05
> > She commented on some things I've done well and I just wanted to *scream* at her, "I AM NOT DOING WELL!!!"
>
> That I understand. I appear like I am doing great to other people... say the "right" things about how I am doing. It's always been disappointing to me that noone has ever really bothered to look deeper or ask more questions. If you can't tell her that you aren't doing well... can you tell her that sometimes you can't seem to express yourself and you need her to probe a little deeper? That's what I am going to ask my new T to do.. I just can't break through my own barriers to reach out.
>
>
>I always hate that too. It always seems to reduce who I am to what I do. And it generally makes me feel like I need to "do" badly to be heard. I think my therapist tries really hard not to paint me in that corner.
Posted by Racer on March 22, 2007, at 12:53:42
In reply to Re: Funk, posted by Dinah on March 22, 2007, at 12:26:34
> > > She commented on some things I've done well and I just wanted to *scream* at her, "I AM NOT DOING WELL!!!"
> >
> > That I understand. I appear like I am doing great to other people... say the "right" things about how I am doing. It's always been disappointing to me that noone has ever really bothered to look deeper or ask more questions. If you can't tell her that you aren't doing well... can you tell her that sometimes you can't seem to express yourself and you need her to probe a little deeper? That's what I am going to ask my new T to do.. I just can't break through my own barriers to reach out.
> >
> >
> >
>
> I always hate that too. It always seems to reduce who I am to what I do. And it generally makes me feel like I need to "do" badly to be heard. I think my therapist tries really hard not to paint me in that corner.That's part of anorexia for a lot of people -- since anorexics often can't *say* that we're not doing well, we try to communicate it through our bodies, by losing weight. Making it literally visible to others that we're not doing well, and need help.
It doesn't work.
Hard as it is, learning to say it is a Good Thing. Of course, part of that is learning to say it appropriately, to an appropriately responsive party, is the key to it. If you say, "I'm just not doing at all well" to someone who'll just reply, "Yes you are, here are three things you did well, so you're just fine" -- well, we all know how that turns out, right?
Jammer, is your T responsive to you? Or are there other problems in there?
At least we all have one another here, right? I'm sorry you're in a funk. (And it's started up an earworm for me: "aaww we want the funk, gotta have that funk...")
This is the end of the thread.
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