![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 12 to 36 of 39. Go back in thread:
Posted by Voce on December 20, 2005, at 1:33:41
In reply to Re: I want therapy so much (*****trigger*****) » Tamar, posted by fairywings on December 20, 2005, at 0:06:04
That's me smacking your husband upside the head.
Tamar, you ARE a fighter. You are fighting to keep your household running, your kids happy and yourself healthy. You are doing exactly the right thing, that is, taking care of yourself. You are not Wonder Woman.
Is hubby helping out extra?
And this nonesense about being too depressed for therapy???? Can you demand a referral from you GP? Often times a swift kick in the pants can do wonders in the medical community, especially when there is an HMO involved.
Voce, the conqueror of her HMO
Posted by Tamar on December 20, 2005, at 7:16:01
In reply to Re: I want therapy so much (*****trigger*****) » Tamar, posted by littleone on December 19, 2005, at 19:49:59
> Why don't you see another dr to get your referral? Or even try your own dr again and make sure you make clear that even if you are too depressed to tackle deep and difficult topics, you still need some supportive help to get to that stage.
Yeah, I do think I need to try again. I find it very difficult to think clearly in that kind of situation – I usually forget half of what I wanted to say. I really don’t want to have a debate with the doctor about the theory because I’ll lose. So I need a different strategy.
> Please don't anyone slap me down or start a debate over this, but I personally really don't believe that meds alone will get you to that stage. Just from my own experience. But having that special T connection might.
I have no intention of slapping you down! I agree with you; meds alone won’t get me there. I don’t know about other people. But I find the relationship in therapy extremely helpful. It gives me a focus that meds just don’t give me.
Tamar
Posted by Tamar on December 20, 2005, at 7:28:27
In reply to Re: I want therapy so much (*****trigger*****) » Tamar, posted by Dinah on December 19, 2005, at 20:19:36
> I've always rather thought that my marriage works best if I don't know too much of my husband's thoughts about me. :(
Awww, Dinah!
> I can't understand why your marriage counselor referred you on. This seems like an ideal thing for a counselor to explain to the spouse of a depressed person. Tamar, you have little kids, you're depressed, you've got a job. I think you're doing great all things considered. And diabetes is another thing that your husband needs to have explained to him. That alone can make a person feel pretty crummy and listless.
Yeah, I think you’re right. I think he needs to hear it from someone else. It’s not that he doesn’t believe me, but I think he needs it to be reinforced.
>
> ((((Tamar))))
>
> Is there any way you can talk to your GP again? It seems reasonable to need more than medications. Especially since it seems that there are situational stressors.I really think I need to try again. I’ve been trying to do imaginary therapy, which was working for me when I was much less depressed, but I think at this stage I need the real thing. My imaginary therapist is pretty good, and sometimes his ideas surprise me, but since he’s a figment of my imagination he’s only got my mind to work from! I think I need an actual relationship to work with now…
Posted by Tamar on December 20, 2005, at 7:44:44
In reply to Re: I want therapy so much (*****trigger*****), posted by annierose on December 19, 2005, at 20:48:33
> (((((((tamar)))))))))
>
> I wish you would call your therapist and make an appointment asap. Your coping mechanisms may help you short term, but you know in your heart, it's not going to help you. I think you need to be more direct with your GP. Tell him/her, "When I felt this depressed about a year ago, I found therapy to be extrememly helpful. Could you please make a referral so I can see my T again?"That’s a good point. I was actually more depressed than this when I first started seeing my therapist. I was having fantasies about drowning my children. But I never told my GP about that, so I was presenting myself as much more healthy than I really was.
> I don't see how he/she could say "No". But then again, I'm not a doctor.
I guess it’s a matter of how depression works. If the doctor believes it’s entirely a matter of brain chemistry, then I suppose I can understand the idea that a person can be too depressed to benefit from therapy until the brain chemistry is stabilized. But in my experience therapy was helpful, as you pointed out.
> Don't you hate it when our husbands think we really are superwoman? Afterall, we surely perform amazing juggling acts day in and day out, while taking care of children, the house, dinner, laundry, homework, Holiday shopping, wrapping, sending out cards, making dr. appointments ..... if only we had wives to help us, sigh.
Yeah, I need a wife! Or a secretary. But a wife would probably be more fun. The thing is, I used to be superwoman, until I got diabetic. I was very lucky because I didn’t need more than four or five hours’ sleep a night. But now I need nearly twice that, and I’ve lost my powers. Next thing to go will probably be the x-ray vision, and then where will I be?
> I'd be over in a flash to help you. Now where is my magic wand? Not in my son's toy box smashed down to the bottom of the heap again!
I’m sure it’ll still work fine when you straighten it out!
Posted by Tamar on December 20, 2005, at 7:54:17
In reply to Re: I want therapy so much (*****trigger*****) » Tamar, posted by muffled on December 19, 2005, at 21:48:06
> So I’ve been cutting myself instead. But I think I’ll move on to alcohol now, and then sleep. All bad coping mechanisms in *moderation*: that’s my motto :-)
>
> Tamar
>
> ***Ha, thats what I say too!!!
> But I can't drink so I smoke pot instead sometimes.It’s odd… I teach in a university and yet I have no idea where to get pot. I’m sure I’d be fired if I tried to buy it from my students…
> Can you explain to your doc. that you're using bad coping mechs and show him and mebbe he'll refer you?
It might be worth a try…
> You could always tell him you gonna piss on the hood of his car if he don't refer you. And your husband will be proud of your chutzpa for pissing on someones car!
> Perfect.I almost pissed myself laughing! Yeah, that oughta do it. And as you say, it will achieve two goals at once: I’d get my referral and my husband would appreciate me. Now, do you think I should make an effort to identify which particular car belongs to my GP, or should I just piss on every car in the car park?
> Ya, you just call me. I know what to do.
> HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> Muffled.
> Sorry things are hard.
> Mebbe we should check out a biker bar?Yeah, good plan! I’ll go put on my leather jeans…
Posted by Tamar on December 20, 2005, at 8:01:50
In reply to Re: I want therapy so much (*****trigger*****) » Tamar, posted by Poet on December 19, 2005, at 22:45:07
Hi Poet,
> I don't get being too depressed for therapy. Every doctor I've seen for ADs has asked if I am in therapy and how often I see my T.
I know. It doesn’t make a lot of sense to me either. I assume my GP has a very medicalized understanding of depression.
> When do you see your doctor next? When I switched from Paxil to Effexor XR last year, I saw ex pdoc every two weeks, then every month until he had (what he thought, not me) was the right dose. I'd like to hear your doc's reasons why you are too depressed to let you see a therapist. To me they go together.
I’m supposed to see her in three weeks, but I think I’ll go sooner than that. I think she believes I won’t be able to put the mental effort into thinking psychologically yet, or perhaps that the pain that sometimes comes with therapy will be too much for me to endure when I’m this depressed, or that I won’t have the energy to make changes. But I seem to be able to think psychologically at the moment; I’d rather be dealing with the pain than just experiencing it impotently, and I think that imagining change could give me a sense of hope I’m lacking at the moment.
> I think you are a fighter and your husband can transform himself into a superhuman if he needs one so badly.
Ha! I’ll ask him to do that. I suppose he’ll start going to work with his underwear over his trousers…
Tamar
Posted by Tamar on December 20, 2005, at 8:12:04
In reply to Re: I want therapy so much (*****trigger*****) » Tamar, posted by fairywings on December 20, 2005, at 0:06:04
> Can you see a pdoc instead of a gp for the referral, or maybe even suggesting to your gp that you might see a pdoc for meds because you know you need a referral to a T would be enough for your gp to refer you! my doc says she doesn't want anyone else getting her piece of the pie - at least she's honest.
Now there’s an interesting idea… Might be worth exploring…
> if you're depressed, and you think a T would help, that should be all that needs to be said. your gp is wrong not to refer you. i guess some think if you're too depressed you might not be able to be effective, but you would know that best.
Maybe I just need to tell her that I’m certain I’m well enough for it. She’s actually pretty good; she was the person who spotted my diabetes and if she hadn’t picked up on it my unborn baby might have been badly damaged by my disease. Fortunately we were able to take immediate action and the baby was fine. So I trust her quite a bit! Maybe I just need to try again.
> sorry about your husband, try to stick to your guns and do what you think you can do. again, only you know how much is too much. his abilities might be higher , he might have more physical and emotional energy.
Yes, he definitely has the energy of a healthy person, the lucky bastard. I think he’s struggling to come to terms with the way I’ve changed. I feel as if I’m trying to support him emotionally to come to terms with it, when I want him to be supporting me! Whine whine. I guess it has to go both ways…
Posted by LauraBeane on December 20, 2005, at 8:22:58
In reply to I want therapy so much (*****trigger*****), posted by Tamar on December 19, 2005, at 16:31:18
Hi Tamar,
Wow there are a lot of replies here. I don't have time right now to read them all! Obviously there are many people who care about you and who are very much beside you in spirit. Do not feel alone.This may be waaay off base but could you call your old therapist just to run your present state of mind by him and see what in his professional opinion -- as your former doctor who knows your psychological self so well -- what course of action he might suggest?
I know there is an insurance issue constraining things. but sometimes medical professionals can make that work, say if one phones the other. I dunno. If this is outside the realm of possibility then what would happen if you called your GP and said "I need somebody to talk to." period. ???
the holidays are hard. So much required cheer. Your husband is fortunate that you don't practice your fighting skills now, on him. Yesterday my husband told me to stop being so selfish moping around all the time. I wanted to smack him right there and then. It's probably the most proactive thing I've wanted to do in weeks. :-)
Hang in there, it will get better. You will find someone to talk to, I know it. Take care.
Posted by Tamar on December 20, 2005, at 9:07:05
In reply to WHAP, posted by Voce on December 20, 2005, at 1:33:41
That’s my husband reeling from the blow and staggering backwards across the room! Wow, Voce, you’re amazingly strong – the man is 300 pounds and incredibly tall. You’ve floored him! Cheering all around!
> Tamar, you ARE a fighter. You are fighting to keep your household running, your kids happy and yourself healthy. You are doing exactly the right thing, that is, taking care of yourself. You are not Wonder Woman.
Well, I used to be Wonder Woman, but I got too fat for the costume :-)
Yeah, I need to take care of myself. Life is just even more impossible when I'm pushing things too hard.
> Is hubby helping out extra?
I think he’s trying his best. And I feel rather bad about complaining about him. I know he’s trying to help.
> And this nonesense about being too depressed for therapy???? Can you demand a referral from you GP? Often times a swift kick in the pants can do wonders in the medical community, especially when there is an HMO involved.> Voce, the conqueror of her HMO
Yeah – Voce the Conqueror! I will certainly try again with my GP. Maybe if I’m persistent enough she’ll agree.
Posted by muffled on December 20, 2005, at 9:08:45
In reply to Re: I want therapy so much (*****trigger*****) » muffled, posted by Tamar on December 20, 2005, at 7:54:17
And I think just piss on your Gps car. You'll have to lay in wait to figger out which car is hers.
If you piss on em all they'll proly put you in hosp.! One is enough.
Besides, it just ain't that damn easy for us female types to piss on cars anyways!!!!!!!!!!
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!
I really hope you get your referral soon.
I dunno, it realy is striking me a s weird that your too sick for therapy, like weird. If you can make yourself better what the heck d'ya need therapy for. if you can make yourself better why are you sick in the first place.
I have a better idea. If she don't refer you.......................................................................................................................................................................................piss on her DESK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guess I'm feeling a little feisty.
Guess I'd like to make you smile.
Take care Tamar,
Muffled
Posted by Tamar on December 20, 2005, at 9:19:54
In reply to Re: I want therapy so much (*****trigger*****) » Tamar, posted by LauraBeane on December 20, 2005, at 8:22:58
> Hi Tamar,
> Wow there are a lot of replies here. I don't have time right now to read them all! Obviously there are many people who care about you and who are very much beside you in spirit. Do not feel alone.Thanks. You’re right. I really don’t know what I’d do without Babble. A year ago, before I discovered Babble, I would have felt there was absolutely no one who understood.
> This may be waaay off base but could you call your old therapist just to run your present state of mind by him and see what in his professional opinion -- as your former doctor who knows your psychological self so well -- what course of action he might suggest?
I don’t know if he’d even speak to me without a referral. I think things are pretty strict.
> I know there is an insurance issue constraining things. but sometimes medical professionals can make that work, say if one phones the other. I dunno. If this is outside the realm of possibility then what would happen if you called your GP and said "I need somebody to talk to." period. ???
I think I’ll have to do just that. I suppose I’m afraid of what it will feel like if she simply refuses. Can I take it without bawling? Can I persist and try to win her round?
> the holidays are hard. So much required cheer. Your husband is fortunate that you don't practice your fighting skills now, on him. Yesterday my husband told me to stop being so selfish moping around all the time. I wanted to smack him right there and then. It's probably the most proactive thing I've wanted to do in weeks. :-)
It’s obviously Crappy Partners Week. Did you tell him you wanted to smack him?
> Hang in there, it will get better. You will find someone to talk to, I know it. Take care.
You too. I hope your husband gets more sympathetic too!
Posted by Tamar on December 20, 2005, at 9:20:52
In reply to Re: I want therapy so much (*****trigger*****) » Tamar, posted by LauraBeane on December 20, 2005, at 8:22:58
Posted by Tamar on December 20, 2005, at 9:30:31
In reply to Are those leather jeans.....pink?' » Tamar, posted by muffled on December 20, 2005, at 9:08:45
> And I think just piss on your Gps car. You'll have to lay in wait to figger out which car is hers.
> If you piss on em all they'll proly put you in hosp.! One is enough.That’s a good point. To piss on one car may be regarded as an accident; to piss on several looks like criminal damage…
> Besides, it just ain't that damn easy for us female types to piss on cars anyways!!!!!!!!!!
Well, we can get help:
http://www.travelmateinfo.com/page002.html> Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!
> I really hope you get your referral soon.
> I dunno, it realy is striking me a s weird that your too sick for therapy, like weird. If you can make yourself better what the heck d'ya need therapy for. if you can make yourself better why are you sick in the first place.I guess she’d say it’s all in the meds until I’m a bit less depressed.
> I have a better idea. If she don't refer you.......................................................................................................................................................................................piss on her DESK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I definitely think she’d put me in the hospital if I tried that! But it might be worth it…
> Guess I'm feeling a little feisty.
> Guess I'd like to make you smile.You certainly did! My tummy is sore from laughing!
> Take care Tamar,
You too!Tamar
Posted by Damos on December 20, 2005, at 15:43:04
In reply to I want therapy so much (*****trigger*****), posted by Tamar on December 19, 2005, at 16:31:18
In the interests of Occupational Health and Safety I feel it is my duty to warn you about the inherent risks of a 'slip and fall' accident occurring should you undertake "bonnet christening" activity. I do have to agree with Muffled on this that one would be enough - the whole lot might come across as overly territorial ;-)
Seriously though, having lived with someone with a chronic illness for a long time now I understand how important it is to have those rail at the world days. Those angry, frustrated I give up days. Those I'm pissy and grizzly and live with it days. Those I'm too d*mn tired to try anymore and I'm just want to curl up in a ball and cry days. Those don't even look at me unless you want your head bitten off days. Those it just aint fair days. It's allowing yourself permission to have those days and being allowed to have them that allows you to be strong and keep fighting the rest of the time. Being allowed to grieve what the disease has taken away is important to and maybe this is feeding the depression a little. Having a 'safe' place to be able to talk about all that is going physically and emotionally makes a world of difference too.
I can appreciate hubby's struggles too, because there is a sense (probably not spoken or even truly admitted to himself) of loss. Loss of things you (being the two of you) used to do, how you used to be, who you used to be. Change can be real hard especially if you've always relied on and needed the other person to be a certain way. Knowing when and what to say is hard as, especially if you've never been good at the communication stuff anyway.
I know no-one in S's family 'get' her MS especially her sister who has been a Director of Nursing and specialised in gerontology. It's like it's all too close or they think she's putting it on or something.
But hard as it is, nothing excuses him for behaving badly, being unsupportive or insensitive. He has to fight for you and the relationship too. The hardest lesson is that normal is however you are right now.
Please don't give up.
Lots a love and big safe hugs,
Damos
Posted by Dinah on December 20, 2005, at 16:02:09
In reply to Re: I want therapy so much (*****trigger*****) » fairywings, posted by Tamar on December 20, 2005, at 8:12:04
I don't know about you, but I often forget that there's a physical reason for some of my lack of energy. There are so few visible signs of illness that it's easy to forget.
I remember how angry I used to get at my mother for sleeping all the time, though I understand a lot better now. If I eat too much, I'm out for a few hours.
I wanted to ask if you think you might be using self injury more now you're on medication. One thing I'm not sure I'll ever understand is the fact that my physical self injuring started and stayed worse while I was on an SSRI than when I quit. I know everyone reacts differently, and some people have the opposite response, but I thought I'd just let you know my reaction so that you can observe yourself a bit.
Posted by muffled on December 20, 2005, at 17:26:21
In reply to Re: I want therapy so much (*****trigger*****) » Tamar, posted by Dinah on December 20, 2005, at 16:02:09
> I wanted to ask if you think you might be using self injury more now you're on medication. One thing I'm not sure I'll ever understand is the fact that my physical self injuring started and stayed worse while I was on an SSRI than when I quit. I know everyone reacts differently, and some people have the opposite response, but I thought I'd just let you know my reaction so that you can observe yourself a bit.
***Yeah Tamar, my SI was definately worse on celexa, thats part of the reason I went off it.
Muffled
Posted by orchid on December 20, 2005, at 20:48:35
In reply to I want therapy so much (*****trigger*****), posted by Tamar on December 19, 2005, at 16:31:18
I didn't read the full followups on this, just here and there, so maybe some one posted the same ideas before also.
What steps are you taking regarding your depression? I know you are in sexual therapy, but that won't aim at your depression that much. And I read about your GP and Prozac. Is that helping?
I think it is better to treat depression when it is early on rather than wait till it gets late. I think perhaps you can stop your sexual therapy for a while and continue your personal therapy (either from your old T or from a new T).
Also repeated episodes of depression puts a person at a higher risk to long term depression (from what I have read). So it would be a good idea to tackle that early on and not let it grow to be a fullblown depression.
And I think your husband probably meant to be supprotive since you said he has been that way in the past.
Regarding not being a superwoman, sometimes, I have that problem too wiht my rheumatoid arthritis. But remember that life is not about being a superwoman or anything for that matter. It is what you *can do* and what feels comfortable *for you* at any given point of time, irrespective of what you used to be in the past.
> Maybe it’s the time of year… maybe it’s me. Maybe I was wrong to try to sort things out with my husband, because allowing myself to be vulnerable just gives him power to hurt me. I've been on Prozac nearly four weeks now, and I'm wishing I could see someone to talk about all this stuff.
>
> I’ve been trying so hard to accept my limitations. I’m not superhuman; I’m diabetic and depressed and I can’t be macho and extremely active any more. I have no energy. My husband wants everything to carry on as normal. I told him I can’t, I just can’t. I have to start living life according to what’s realistic for me; pacing myself, making sure I have the energy for the things I decide to do.
>
> He said (with his lip curled), “And I thought you were a fighter.”
>
> And now I just want to give up and die.
>
>
>
Posted by fairywings on December 21, 2005, at 19:01:40
In reply to I want therapy so much (*****trigger*****), posted by Tamar on December 19, 2005, at 16:31:18
Hey Tamar,
Have you called your doc yet? I was wondering how things were going, and what she'd said about therapy. You know that really sucks that you need it, and you know you need it, and you can't get your doc to give a referral. I still say hold it over her head that you're going to see someone else to get the referral bec. you HAVE to have it.
Geeze, what ins. do you have that your GP has to refer you? I don't want it!
fw
Posted by Tamar on December 22, 2005, at 18:50:06
In reply to Re: I want therapy so much (*****trigger*****) » Tamar, posted by Damos on December 20, 2005, at 15:43:04
> In the interests of Occupational Health and Safety I feel it is my duty to warn you about the inherent risks of a 'slip and fall' accident occurring should you undertake "bonnet christening" activity.
Gosh, I never thought of that… I’d better be careful…
> I do have to agree with Muffled on this that one would be enough - the whole lot might come across as overly territorial ;-)
Ha ha!
> Seriously though, having lived with someone with a chronic illness for a long time now I understand how important it is to have those rail at the world days. Those angry, frustrated I give up days. Those I'm pissy and grizzly and live with it days. Those I'm too d*mn tired to try anymore and I'm just want to curl up in a ball and cry days. Those don't even look at me unless you want your head bitten off days. Those it just aint fair days. It's allowing yourself permission to have those days and being allowed to have them that allows you to be strong and keep fighting the rest of the time. Being allowed to grieve what the disease has taken away is important to and maybe this is feeding the depression a little. Having a 'safe' place to be able to talk about all that is going physically and emotionally makes a world of difference too.
Yeah. I don’t need a lot of grizzly days. But I do need to recognise that life is not the same as it used to be, and if I try to pretend everything is normal I just end up worse. I’ve really noticed in the last few months that every time I have a brilliant, wonderful, full-of-energy day it’s followed by three days of crap.
> I can appreciate hubby's struggles too, because there is a sense (probably not spoken or even truly admitted to himself) of loss. Loss of things you (being the two of you) used to do, how you used to be, who you used to be. Change can be real hard especially if you've always relied on and needed the other person to be a certain way. Knowing when and what to say is hard as, especially if you've never been good at the communication stuff anyway.It’s funny… he’s really not Mr Communicative, which is odd because he works in a field in which communication is one of his main roles. But maybe he uses most of it at work. Yeah, I probably shouldn’t expect him to know what to say.
> I know no-one in S's family 'get' her MS especially her sister who has been a Director of Nursing and specialised in gerontology. It's like it's all too close or they think she's putting it on or something.
It’s strange how people who ‘ought to’ understand just don’t seem to get it sometimes. Maybe it’s hard for her sister, who might have all too clear an idea of what the prognosis could be. Sometimes denial is easier, which doesn’t help S of course.
> But hard as it is, nothing excuses him for behaving badly, being unsupportive or insensitive. He has to fight for you and the relationship too. The hardest lesson is that normal is however you are right now.
Ah, ‘normal’… I’m learning lots of new definitions of normal.
> Please don't give up.
Today I’ll keep going. I’m making no promises about tomorrow! I’m on one-day-at-a-time at the moment…
> Lots a love and big safe hugs,
> DamosYou too!
Tamar
Posted by Tamar on December 22, 2005, at 18:55:44
In reply to Re: I want therapy so much (*****trigger*****) » Tamar, posted by Dinah on December 20, 2005, at 16:02:09
> I don't know about you, but I often forget that there's a physical reason for some of my lack of energy. There are so few visible signs of illness that it's easy to forget.
That’s so true (((((Dinah)))))
> I remember how angry I used to get at my mother for sleeping all the time, though I understand a lot better now. If I eat too much, I'm out for a few hours.
Yeah, I find it difficult to remember... But I’m the same. If my glucose goes above 12 I’m out of it.
> I wanted to ask if you think you might be using self injury more now you're on medication. One thing I'm not sure I'll ever understand is the fact that my physical self injuring started and stayed worse while I was on an SSRI than when I quit. I know everyone reacts differently, and some people have the opposite response, but I thought I'd just let you know my reaction so that you can observe yourself a bit.
That’s really helpful. I have felt more inclined to SI recently. Fortunately my SI isn’t terribly severe (doesn’t require medical attention) but I’ll keep my eye on it.
Thanks Dinah.
Love,
Tamar
Posted by Tamar on December 22, 2005, at 18:58:04
In reply to Re: I want therapy so much (*****trigger*****), posted by muffled on December 20, 2005, at 17:26:21
> ***Yeah Tamar, my SI was definately worse on celexa, thats part of the reason I went off it.
> Muffled
>Thanks muffled. It's good to know. I'll keep my eye on it for a couple of weeks. If it gets any worse I'll.......
Piss on her desk!!!Love,
Tamar
Posted by Tamar on December 22, 2005, at 19:04:19
In reply to Re: I want therapy so much (*****trigger*****) » Tamar, posted by orchid on December 20, 2005, at 20:48:35
Hi Orchid,
It’s really good to see you.
> What steps are you taking regarding your depression? I know you are in sexual therapy, but that won't aim at your depression that much. And I read about your GP and Prozac. Is that helping?
Somewhat. It seemed to be helping two weeks ago, but I’m not sure it’s still helping. Maybe I need a higher dose.
> I think it is better to treat depression when it is early on rather than wait till it gets late. I think perhaps you can stop your sexual therapy for a while and continue your personal therapy (either from your old T or from a new T).
I see what you’re saying, although I’m pretty much committed to the sex therapy at the moment. And actually, I finally did my homework last night and it went pretty well!
> Also repeated episodes of depression puts a person at a higher risk to long term depression (from what I have read). So it would be a good idea to tackle that early on and not let it grow to be a fullblown depression.
You’re absolutely right. I need to be careful.
> And I think your husband probably meant to be supprotive since you said he has been that way in the past.I’m sure you’re right. His intentions are good. He’s a good man.
> Regarding not being a superwoman, sometimes, I have that problem too wiht my rheumatoid arthritis. But remember that life is not about being a superwoman or anything for that matter. It is what you *can do* and what feels comfortable *for you* at any given point of time, irrespective of what you used to be in the past.Yeah, that’s true. You know what it’s like. (((((Orchid)))))
Thanks for your thoughts.
Love,
Tamar
Posted by Tamar on December 22, 2005, at 19:11:34
In reply to Re: I want therapy so much (*****trigger*****) » Tamar, posted by fairywings on December 21, 2005, at 19:01:40
Hi Fairywings
> Have you called your doc yet? I was wondering how things were going, and what she'd said about therapy. You know that really sucks that you need it, and you know you need it, and you can't get your doc to give a referral. I still say hold it over her head that you're going to see someone else to get the referral bec. you HAVE to have it.
Yeah. I NEED it. I’ll try to talk to her as soon as I can. And I’ve always got Muffled’s suggestions as fallback…
> Geeze, what ins. do you have that your GP has to refer you? I don't want it!
> fwAh, You’re probably fine. I think my situation is unusual.
Love,
Tamar
Posted by littleone on December 22, 2005, at 19:53:23
In reply to Re: I want therapy so much (*****trigger*****) » Dinah, posted by Tamar on December 22, 2005, at 18:55:44
> That’s really helpful. I have felt more inclined to SI recently. Fortunately my SI isn’t terribly severe (doesn’t require medical attention) but I’ll keep my eye on it.
Hi Tamar,
I might be reading this wrong (which is easily done in written forum), but I felt like you weren't giving this the credit it deserves.
I know from my own experience (and other experiences I've read/heard about) that SI'ing is addictive in a way and with repetition can easily become more severe.
Even though my SI was never "severe" in the sense that I required medical treatment, I still considered it severe in the sense that it was mentally dangerous if that makes sense. I was doing it more frequently and also cutting more often and deeper each time I did it.
I hope you are being very careful in these escalating aspects. And remember that it is very difficult to stop it once it has become a regular coping mechanism.
Sorry about this, but I don't want to see you hurt yourself (obviously physically, but also in the sense that it makes things harder for you later on).
Posted by Tamar on December 22, 2005, at 20:28:29
In reply to Re: SI'ing (*****trigger*****) » Tamar, posted by littleone on December 22, 2005, at 19:53:23
Hi littleone
> I might be reading this wrong (which is easily done in written forum), but I felt like you weren't giving this the credit it deserves.
That may well be true…
> I know from my own experience (and other experiences I've read/heard about) that SI'ing is addictive in a way and with repetition can easily become more severe.
I can imagine…
> Even though my SI was never "severe" in the sense that I required medical treatment, I still considered it severe in the sense that it was mentally dangerous if that makes sense. I was doing it more frequently and also cutting more often and deeper each time I did it.
I will watch and see if that happens to me. I’m pretty sure I cut deeper last time…
> I hope you are being very careful in these escalating aspects. And remember that it is very difficult to stop it once it has become a regular coping mechanism.
That’s true. So far, I do it only in response to one kind of situation. But if is gets worse I’ll try to deal with it.
> Sorry about this, but I don't want to see you hurt yourself (obviously physically, but also in the sense that it makes things harder for you later on).
Thanks. What you say makes a lot of sense. I think I’ll wait 2 weeks. If I SI in that time I’ll assume it’s above average (for me) and insist on a change in medication.
Many thanks,
Tamar
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