![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by kerria on July 25, 2005, at 9:19:56
My life is a horrible mess. My h is always angry with me about money- i make as much as i can, disability is taking five years and counting . i'm disabled because i have DID and can't get to work most of the time. there's not a way. Tears .It's so frustrating.
The pain mmgent Dr is always so suspicious of me. Even accusing me. i can't live in the horrible pain. There isn't a way. He makes mistakes on the prescriptions- like writing 'Oct instead of July' and then i have to go back now. But there's another problem. Tears. There is terrible pain that i can't live in .Why do i always have to defend myself for not being able to live in it. i CAN'T . i NEVER misused the medication , NEVER. Why is he always suspicious ? Why does everyone in my life wanat to see me suffer?
Is there something about me? i'm honest, i don't hurt other people. i work the best i can. i don't have anything myslf. i don't want anything except to love others and receive love. i just don't want to be attacked anymore.i was suspended from a survivor support group that i'd been in for about four years because people hijacked my thread and a part 's viewpoint about my H - the part thinks h is daddy- a person that doesn't like me wanted me to be out. It's so unfair. Everything is.
tears. i wish i just don't want to be attacked . Teras . Everyone wants to attack me
PLeae help find out why/. i don't know what to do to change it. It's so horrible.
kerria
Posted by muffled on July 25, 2005, at 9:36:01
In reply to what is it about me that people want to hurt me?, posted by kerria on July 25, 2005, at 9:19:56
> My life is a horrible mess. My h is always angry with me about money- i make as much as i can, disability is taking five years and counting . i'm disabled because i have DID and can't get to work most of the time. there's not a way. Tears .It's so frustrating.
> The pain mmgent Dr is always so suspicious of me. Even accusing me. i can't live in the horrible pain. There isn't a way. He makes mistakes on the prescriptions- like writing 'Oct instead of July' and then i have to go back now. But there's another problem. Tears. There is terrible pain that i can't live in .Why do i always have to defend myself for not being able to live in it. i CAN'T . i NEVER misused the medication , NEVER. Why is he always suspicious ? Why does everyone in my life wanat to see me suffer?
> Is there something about me? i'm honest, i don't hurt other people. i work the best i can. i don't have anything myslf. i don't want anything except to love others and receive love. i just don't want to be attacked anymore.
>
> i was suspended from a survivor support group that i'd been in for about four years because people hijacked my thread and a part 's viewpoint about my H - the part thinks h is daddy- a person that doesn't like me wanted me to be out. It's so unfair. Everything is.
> tears. i wish i just don't want to be attacked . Teras . Everyone wants to attack me
> PLeae help find out why/. i don't know what to do to change it. It's so horrible.
> kerriaThings can and do get better.............eventually. I feel for you. Theres lots of nice people to talk to here, mebbe that'll help some. I'm not too clever but I feel your pain(emotional) and frustration. People can be SO incredibly STUPID sometimes. Maybe you can connect with a diff. pain management Dr.? Find yourself some good support SOMEWHERE???????? You are not alone. Sorry, can't do hugs yet(nothing to do with you-its just me)but theres proly a bunch comming your ways soon. Take care.
P.S. Does smoking pot help? I'm not advocating illegal activities but it can help with chronic pain and is easy to get. I don't know how it reacts to other meds though.
Posted by Shortelise on July 26, 2005, at 0:07:12
In reply to what is it about me that people want to hurt me?, posted by kerria on July 25, 2005, at 9:19:56
Kerria,
Pain management docs are very careful.
If I were seeing a doc like that, I would have to talk with him about it. I would calmly and respectfully tell him that I have felt he might not believe I am in pain, and ask him if it was true.
I would try to have a calm and honest converstaion with him.I need pain meds fairly rarely, only a couple of times a month, so I don't use much. But when I have to ask for a refill on Percocet, I am always afraid the doc will say no. In which case, I am without my rescue meds. I'm sure my psychiatrist would talk to the doc if I ever had an instance where a doc didn't want to refill my script.
As for the nasty people on the web, honey, thingscan get really ugly out here, and what I do is just get up and leave. I've only done that once, actually, but people got mean, so I came here, where people are - or at least seem - honestly caring and supportive.
You might want to watch out for the victim thing, though. We aren't other people's victims - we're leading our own lives, and choosing our own adventures. :-)
((kerria))
ShortE
Posted by cricket on July 26, 2005, at 10:20:53
In reply to what is it about me that people want to hurt me?, posted by kerria on July 25, 2005, at 9:19:56
(((Kerria)))
I like you a lot and don't want to attack you.
I hope everything gets better soon.
I've not been posting much because I am trying to deal with my own issues.
But I am here and listening.
Cricket
Posted by kerria on July 29, 2005, at 7:10:17
In reply to people want to hurt me? » kerria, posted by Shortelise on July 26, 2005, at 0:07:12
Thank you, ShortE, Muffled and Cricket. i appreciate your writing to me so much. Cricket, i'm so sorry that you're having such a hard time now, too.
i'm so afraid, my pain is so severe. i had the talk about it with this Dr and he believed me until he found out about my psych dx- PTSD and DID. i tried to have a procedure done to temporarily block the nerves and my littles came out and were too afraid. Whenever i'm overwhelmed my littles come out, it happens automatically, there's not much that i can do because i'm just starting to learn how to communicate with insiders. i know that they are there and remember what they say sometimes but can't interfere or communicate with them. It's so frustrating. The dr was so angry that i became a hysterically crying six-year-old in the hospital.
It's so unfair - DID is a disability and everyone that has ever found out misunderstands. No dr that i've found is willing to understand DID -and the way that it affects me. They automatically think that i'm not honest and every illness is connected to your dx somehow or that i'm a drug seeker. i've never been arrested for anything or ever misused drugs. i don't drink even- just a time or two a year.
It's so difficult to not have help, anyone that understands that pple with DID can get illnesses and pain just like everyone else, especially it's so hard with DID.
They can't understand why one minute i'm a perfectly mature municipal employee that's respectable and knowledgeable in my field and the next minute i can have the mind and capacity of a child,teenager or very troubled adult. It's so unfair that i'm not believed and am treated like a dishonest person when i'm not being dishonest. Now i need to run around today and try to find a doctor that will believe me and have all my parts co-operate(not come out) in getting a gyn exam and hopefully be believed and receive help. Everything is so hard, the exam, trying to find a dr that will see me, believe me about the pain and hide the fact that i have DID. The pain is nerve pain most likely and that makes it difficult also because the cause is not apparant. I'm not doing well now and it's even harder. It's so triggering because of past trauma - to be in pain and not be believed, to be made to have pain for no reason.i can't do anything illegal because i work for the City. i wouldn't know where to ever get anything like marijuana. No one i know smokes it.
if i don't receive help from somewhere i won't be able to work or get out of bed so i won't work anywhere but it wouldn't be a strong enough pain reliever to work.
i'm in so much trouble:(. i called my psychiatrist and T knows what's going on. i hope that somehow my psyDr can help.thanks so much for being there,
kerriaThank you for being there and caring to write,
Muffled, ShortE and Cricket.
Posted by muffled on July 29, 2005, at 9:24:11
In reply to Re: people want to hurt me?, posted by kerria on July 29, 2005, at 7:10:17
> Thank you, ShortE, Muffled and Cricket. i appreciate your writing to me so much. Cricket, i'm so sorry that you're having such a hard time now, too.
>
> i'm so afraid, my pain is so severe. i had the talk about it with this Dr and he believed me until he found out about my psych dx- PTSD and DID. i tried to have a procedure done to temporarily block the nerves and my littles came out and were too afraid. Whenever i'm overwhelmed my littles come out, it happens automatically, there's not much that i can do because i'm just starting to learn how to communicate with insiders. i know that they are there and remember what they say sometimes but can't interfere or communicate with them. It's so frustrating. The dr was so angry that i became a hysterically crying six-year-old in the hospital.
>
> It's so unfair - DID is a disability and everyone that has ever found out misunderstands. No dr that i've found is willing to understand DID -and the way that it affects me. They automatically think that i'm not honest and every illness is connected to your dx somehow or that i'm a drug seeker. i've never been arrested for anything or ever misused drugs. i don't drink even- just a time or two a year.
> It's so difficult to not have help, anyone that understands that pple with DID can get illnesses and pain just like everyone else, especially it's so hard with DID.
> They can't understand why one minute i'm a perfectly mature municipal employee that's respectable and knowledgeable in my field and the next minute i can have the mind and capacity of a child,teenager or very troubled adult. It's so unfair that i'm not believed and am treated like a dishonest person when i'm not being dishonest. Now i need to run around today and try to find a doctor that will believe me and have all my parts co-operate(not come out) in getting a gyn exam and hopefully be believed and receive help. Everything is so hard, the exam, trying to find a dr that will see me, believe me about the pain and hide the fact that i have DID. The pain is nerve pain most likely and that makes it difficult also because the cause is not apparant. I'm not doing well now and it's even harder. It's so triggering because of past trauma - to be in pain and not be believed, to be made to have pain for no reason.
>
> i can't do anything illegal because i work for the City. i wouldn't know where to ever get anything like marijuana. No one i know smokes it.
> if i don't receive help from somewhere i won't be able to work or get out of bed so i won't work anywhere but it wouldn't be a strong enough pain reliever to work.
> i'm in so much trouble:(. i called my psychiatrist and T knows what's going on. i hope that somehow my psyDr can help.
>
> thanks so much for being there,
> kerria
>
> Thank you for being there and caring to write,
> Muffled, ShortE and Cricket.
>
Dunno what to say, except you not alone. Yeah, life can be so freaking hard. But it can be beautiful too. Do you have a place in your head thats beautiful that you can go to? I'm working on having one myself. Its going to be an place by the ocean with pretty sparkling water, and birds, and a gentle warm breeze caressing me. That can be my safe place. I will give you hugs ((((((((Kerria)))))). Keep posting. You help others too with your life.
Posted by kerria on July 29, 2005, at 11:24:35
In reply to Re: people want to hurt me? » kerria, posted by muffled on July 29, 2005, at 9:24:11
Thank you, (((Muffled)))
i will try to make a place inside. There was a safe place inside a tent- an actual one because there's so much real pain that it didn't help as much to have one inside. We slept inside our tent - inside our house. We took it down after about a year. Maybe we should put it up again.
Now things are bad because the pain is in the body and where ever i go , there it is :( There's not a way to get away- a temporal way, anyways:(
i'm good at hypnosis but it's too hard because it's constant and sharp. i have the names of some drs. i just wish that i didn't also have DID - having this hard-to-diagnose physical illness is so hard already.Take care,
kerria
Posted by muffled on July 29, 2005, at 14:14:09
In reply to Re: people want to hurt me?, posted by kerria on July 29, 2005, at 7:10:17
Keep remembering your not alone. Its hard to be in pain so much. Exhausting. I hope your p-doc can help you with meds. Its seems awful unfair of Drs. to judge you cuz of your d.i.d etc. I think people who have never had intimate contact with mental illness just DON'T GET IT. We are people just like them, but mebbe a little bit BETTER! Hah. Just keep on trying with those Drs., seems its the squeeky wheel is the one that gets oiled. Take care.
Posted by kerria on July 30, 2005, at 8:07:39
In reply to Re: people want to hurt me? » kerria, posted by muffled on July 29, 2005, at 14:14:09
Thank you, (((Muffled)))
today the pain is so bad. i can barely sit down, i have to lay down. the psychDr couldn'thelp with meds but called the pain management dr- who wouldn't replace the morphine that i had a bad reaction for something that i could take- so the pain dr called me back and offered to help a little, with advice and offered more patches if i would give him the name of the gyn DR that i'm seeing next week. i didn't give him the name because i want the new Dr to have a fresh view of me. i hope that the new dr will give me a diagnosis for my pain and treat me or help me find pain control.
i went on Duragesic patches- it was all i had, and oxycodone breakthrough caps, trying to replace what i was taking the past 18 months- 60mg of oxycontin 3 times a day with oxycodone for breakthrough pain
with a 50mg Duragesic patch and the oxycodone breakthrough, trying to take as little as i need to conserve and get me through until i can see the new Dr. i'm in so much pain.
The pain management Dr said to go to hospital for withdrawal but i can't withdraw- the pain is way too bad. i need pain control.
i forgot how much pain that i was in - the oxycontin worked so well. It's impossible to not have pain control. It's way too severe. i found out yesterday while waiting for the patch to work and today the pain is so so bad, even with the patch and the oxycodone- i'm taking four of the 5 mg every four hours - it's not enough.
it's scary to have uncontrollable pain.
i hope that the new dr can help me and i hope that i can make it through until then.Thanks for being there, going to bed.
kerria
Posted by muffled on July 30, 2005, at 21:54:45
In reply to Re: people want to hurt me?, posted by kerria on July 30, 2005, at 8:07:39
> Thank you, (((Muffled)))
>
> today the pain is so bad. i can barely sit down, i have to lay down. the psychDr couldn'thelp with meds but called the pain management dr- who wouldn't replace the morphine that i had a bad reaction for something that i could take- so the pain dr called me back and offered to help a little, with advice and offered more patches if i would give him the name of the gyn DR that i'm seeing next week. i didn't give him the name because i want the new Dr to have a fresh view of me. i hope that the new dr will give me a diagnosis for my pain and treat me or help me find pain control.
>
> i went on Duragesic patches- it was all i had, and oxycodone breakthrough caps, trying to replace what i was taking the past 18 months- 60mg of oxycontin 3 times a day with oxycodone for breakthrough pain
> with a 50mg Duragesic patch and the oxycodone breakthrough, trying to take as little as i need to conserve and get me through until i can see the new Dr. i'm in so much pain.
> The pain management Dr said to go to hospital for withdrawal but i can't withdraw- the pain is way too bad. i need pain control.
> i forgot how much pain that i was in - the oxycontin worked so well. It's impossible to not have pain control. It's way too severe. i found out yesterday while waiting for the patch to work and today the pain is so so bad, even with the patch and the oxycodone- i'm taking four of the 5 mg every four hours - it's not enough.
> it's scary to have uncontrollable pain.
> i hope that the new dr can help me and i hope that i can make it through until then.
>
> Thanks for being there, going to bed.
> kerria
>Maybe its just me, but it seems as if you are being evasive with your doctors as far as giving them names etc. I expect that raises HUGE red flags for them and may be some of the source of your problems with them. This is just me guessing. I haven't (fortunately) had to deal with doctors alot, but its similiar with cops etc.( Authority figures),they can pick up on evasiveness pretty quick and get awfully suspicious of a persons motives for being evasive in the first place. Well, I don't know whether this makes sense or not. Remember, hang on, your not alone, things WILL eventually get better. Keep posting so's we know your all right. Take care.
Posted by kerria on July 31, 2005, at 1:36:30
In reply to Re: people want to hurt me?, posted by muffled on July 30, 2005, at 21:54:45
> > Thank you, (((Muffled)))
> >
> > today the pain is so bad. i can barely sit down, i have to lay down. the psychDr couldn'thelp with meds but called the pain management dr- who wouldn't replace the morphine that i had a bad reaction for something that i could take- so the pain dr called me back and offered to help a little, with advice and offered more patches if i would give him the name of the gyn DR that i'm seeing next week. i didn't give him the name because i want the new Dr to have a fresh view of me. i hope that the new dr will give me a diagnosis for my pain and treat me or help me find pain control.
> >
> > i went on Duragesic patches- it was all i had, and oxycodone breakthrough caps, trying to replace what i was taking the past 18 months- 60mg of oxycontin 3 times a day with oxycodone for breakthrough pain
> > with a 50mg Duragesic patch and the oxycodone breakthrough, trying to take as little as i need to conserve and get me through until i can see the new Dr. i'm in so much pain.
> > The pain management Dr said to go to hospital for withdrawal but i can't withdraw- the pain is way too bad. i need pain control.
> > i forgot how much pain that i was in - the oxycontin worked so well. It's impossible to not have pain control. It's way too severe. i found out yesterday while waiting for the patch to work and today the pain is so so bad, even with the patch and the oxycodone- i'm taking four of the 5 mg every four hours - it's not enough.
> > it's scary to have uncontrollable pain.
> > i hope that the new dr can help me and i hope that i can make it through until then.
> >
> > Thanks for being there, going to bed.
> > kerria
> >
>
> Maybe its just me, but it seems as if you are being evasive with your doctors as far as giving them names etc. I expect that raises HUGE red flags for them and may be some of the source of your problems with them. This is just me guessing. I haven't (fortunately) had to deal with doctors alot, but its similiar with cops etc.( Authority figures),they can pick up on evasiveness pretty quick and get awfully suspicious of a persons motives for being evasive in the first place. Well, I don't know whether this makes sense or not. Remember, hang on, your not alone, things WILL eventually get better. Keep posting so's we know your all right. Take care.
hi Muffled,My only motive is to get out of the severe pain that i'm in. That's why i was referred to the pain management Dr by my PCP in the first place. i had many tests and surgery and still was in severe pain. Then i was sent to the Pain management Dr . He was the one to try me on different medications to find relief and nothing was working until he put me on ocycontin. It worked so well that i forgot that i had the pain most of the time- until seven hours were up and i needed to take it again.
i went on like this for about eighteen months. All of a sudden last month The Dr started having a negative attitude against me. He started complaining that i didn't have a diagnosis. i had already went to a gyn Dr for surgery, had everything out and a lot of adhesions from all the previous surgeries, i have too many immuniogloblins in my blood . That was followed up with a hematologist/oncologist. There were three bone marrow biopsies taken to see if it was turning into multiple myeloma. It hasn't - the level has stayed low and there is no treatment. The bone marrow may have been injured because of an exposure to pesticides during a spill that happened applying a fungicide at my job or all the fertilizers that were applied by the work person part. Now i don't apply anything dangerous because they took me off applications since the blood problem. i'm doing all i can do to not make it worse.
For some reason, i'm still having severe pain although no definative cause is known. All the possibilities have been surgically removed and PET scans taken. This pain management Dr was happy to treat me but now says he's not. He says that he's afraid of losing his license because i don't have a diagnosis, maybe the DEA is bothering him. i don't know. i've been honest in everything. i never took more than prescribed and i never took more than i needed to get out of pain. My dose hasn't changed in the last six months or so.Now there is a negative attitude - one reason is that while i was having a nerve block procedure i started switching and a little became hysterical and afraid. i don't have control over my parts all the time and am not able to communicate very well with my parts. The pain management dr is not understanding what DID iss, although my psychitrist has called him a few times. The pain DR started saying things to me like- "What if you're on pain medicines because of botched therapy(He knows that i have PTSD- i didn't tell him that i had DID- i don't think)?" He's thinking that my pain is psychological. It's not. It's sharp and severe and constant.
i know that i need to have a diagnosis so i am seeing another gyn Dr next week that specializes in pelvic nerve pain besides Gyn. i hope that he will be able to help me. If he sees me before he talks to the Pain Management Dr, who is very negative towards me now, thinking that i'm a mental case and a drug seeker now. It's only fair to me to have the Gyn pelvic pain Dr see me without the preconceived false ideas that DID is equal to a drug seeker and lawbreaker that takes medicine for psychological pain. He talks like he thinks that now sometimes. He keeps changing his story.
i need help so much and i hope this new DR will understand, believe and give a diagnosis for the severe pain- and continue my treatment for it. i hope that he doesn't have any of the false assumptions that the pain Dr started having about me. If he does than i won't be treated for my severe chronic pain and i'll have to keep looking for a dr that can help me.
Or maybe if the gyn dr gives the diagnosis the pain management dr will still treat me- i don't know. i'll gladly give the new Dr my pain mangement dr's name. i just want the new Dr to see me and examine me without talking to the Pain management Dr first. He's so negative against me now and it's hard to understand why he couldn't wait another few days so i see a gyn dr and get the diagnosis. He's making me get off the medicine that was working and put me in a dangerous place and in pain again, looking through my drawers for medicines to hold me over until i can see the new pelvic pain gyn Dr. It's hard for me to see gyn drs, also, which is why i delayed to keep trying to find another one. i went to two already, this year and last and they refered me to have pain management! i need one gyn to recognize and diagnose real pain? i guess that's it. And give it a name so everybody can be happy.There has to be a dr to do that somewhere because i'm in real pain. Terribly bad pain that is impossible to live in without medical help.
It's so painful and frustrating to be in this situation. There are even more things that i could bring out about how unfair the negativity is towards me but i won't. i didn't do anything wrong and have never had a drug abuse problem before or now. i've never been evasive with this Dr about anything. i've told him almost everything else about the new dr. - the day, where, his specialty. i have nothing to hide.
It's scary to depend upon other to treat severe pain. what if the drs choose to torture me by not treating my pain? They have so much power. It's so scary to have severe pain. i'm totally incapacitated by it. i won't be able to work and i'll be bedridden if i don't have treatment.
i have to trust that someone will help me,
kerria
Posted by kerria on July 31, 2005, at 8:02:49
In reply to Re: people want to hurt me?, posted by kerria on July 31, 2005, at 1:36:30
This morning the pain is so so bad. i ould hardly walk to get a drink and the medicine. It's as if i became pain.
i have a 50mg duragesic patch on since Friday- and i took four 5mg oxycodone capslues about an hour ago- laid down in bed until it started working until now. It still hurt so much. i have to sit on a pillow. This pain is so bad and it's so triggering. i don't know if i can wait until i see the new gyn dr tomorrow
but i have to. i hope i have enough med.
i'm changing the patch today. i hope it will help . i can't work tomorrow with the patch even if i can manage because the heat at work is 115 degrees on a sunny day- too hot to wear a patch- the med comes out too much- that's Why i have extra patches at home. i couldn't use them because they got me sick at work.Pain is so terrible to have and not be able to get out of. It's so triggering also.
at least i have some medicine left- i'm afraid because i don't have much. i hope to be able to get through until tomorrow.
It's so bad that i can't work tomorrow- there's a small staff- me and one other person that's new.
:( :( :(
please, need encouragement.
trying to go to church,
kerria
Posted by muffled on July 31, 2005, at 9:30:01
In reply to Re: people want to hurt me?, posted by kerria on July 31, 2005, at 8:02:49
Kerria, I don't think you are lying. Its terrible the pain you are in. No doubt it is real, its there. Thank goodness you got some meds. left. Mebbe if you have a hard time communicating you could show 'Them' some of your posts. Is your T. useful? You may have to lean on him more. Do you have people to support and help you day to day? Have you considered that you might require hospitalization etc?
There WILL be a resolution at some point. You will just have to hang on any way you can. Do you have crisis lines (phone support) in your area that you could contact?
By the evasiveness I meant that 'People' can sense when you don't want to tell them something. It may well be for good reason that you don't tell them. But ALL 'They' see is that you are trying to hide something, they don't know why. And when it comes to possible addictions, they assume the worst. I have had addictions problems and I would lie to ANYONE about ANYTHING (and did) to get what I needed. So you have to see where these doctors are comming from. There is not doubt somewithdrawl thrown in on top of your pain, withdrawl can be nasty. You will just have to seek and find help wherever you can. There is someone out there for you.
You can hang on. I know you can. Someone who has endured as much pain as you MUST have a strong core of toughness inside of them. It will carry you through.
Keep remembering, no matter how bad it gets, it WILL get better. You can do this. This whole thing will make you a stronger better person, and some day you will be able to help someone else who is in a nightmare, and you will UNDERSTAND, cuz you been there. There's a reason for everything. Theres a reason for you. HANG ON!!!!!
I have to go away from my computer for several days, but I will be back. Please take care, do what you need to do to keep yourself ok. ((((Kerria)))))-your not alone.
Posted by muffled on July 31, 2005, at 9:34:57
In reply to Re: what is it about me that people want to hurt me?, posted by cricket on July 26, 2005, at 10:20:53
I am going away for a few days, can you guys whatch out for kerria for me? She is really struggling.Thanks.
Posted by kerria on July 31, 2005, at 17:15:28
In reply to Shortelise, cricket, anybody???, posted by muffled on July 31, 2005, at 9:34:57
((((((((Muffled)))))))) you are so nice.
i just hope that i can make it until tomorrow. i might have to take the morphine that the dr gave i had a bad reaction to before. i took off the patch. i don't know how long that i have to wait after the patch is off that i can take it. It's so confusing, judging by my pain it';s time.
The duragesic says 17 hours later it's still working but i know that it's way less than i need. i wish that i had a dr that cared about me. T can't help except express sympathy.
It hurts too much now.
:( kerria
Posted by gardenergirl on July 31, 2005, at 18:32:03
In reply to Re: Shortelise, cricket, anybody???, posted by kerria on July 31, 2005, at 17:15:28
Hi kerria,
My mom struggles with pain from fibromyalgia, and she takes the duragesic patch. I think she has other meds for breakthrough pain.I forget what all you are on, but sometimes a tri-cyclic antidepressant can help with pain management. I'm not sure how, but the pain specialist who saw my mom when she was in the hospital for surgery mentioned this.
I wish I could help more...
Safe and gentle hugs.gg
Posted by kerria on July 31, 2005, at 22:54:02
In reply to Re: Shortelise, cricket, anybody??? » kerria, posted by gardenergirl on July 31, 2005, at 18:32:03
Hi Gardenergirl,
It's a bad situation - my pain management dr was treating me after i was referred to him more than a year ago- then he started learning about my PTSD and DID? while i was trying to have a nerve-block but kept switching. He doesn't understand DID and thinks that i'm crazy/dishonest or both now. i'm in so much pain- i've tried lots of things to get out of it- gyn surgery- elivil, neurontin, cymbalta- nothing works for the severe pain except opioids. oxycontin with breakthrough oxycodone was working well for more than six months but dr started becoming negative against me - complaining that i didn't have a diagnosis. i don't know if the government is bothering him about precribing - maybe . They shouldn't . i need to have pain control because it's too sharp and constant to live in.
He suddenly became negative about my psych dx and imagined that i have imaginary pain from trauma/ i don't know but it's terribly unfair. He took me off everything that worked and put me on a low dose of morphine compared to what i needed and was taking for almost a year. i had a bad reaction- short of breath and tightness in chest and heart irregularities. My nose became all plugged - i was so sick and went to ER. The dr was so terrible- he knew my psych dx and treated me so badly, accusing me of SI- i don't- didn't believe that i was having a bad reaction. He acted as if i was being dishonest somehow- i didn't get it. it never happened to me before to be treated so badly in an er. Then they told me NOT to take the morphine if i was allergic to it but that they couldn't give me anything else. i was in uncontrolable pain. So i came home and had to look through my drawers for anything i had to get me through until i could see another gyn dr to receive a diagnosis. My diagnosis is pelvic pain. There isn't a known cause yet , ther've been all kinds of tests. There was a pesticide spill and a bone marrow disorder found but they say it doesn't cause the pain.
It's horrible that no one can define or help what's so wrong. i haven't been able to have a normal life because of the pain. Then i went to the pain control dr and finally had relief - until now.
i was taking a large amount because my pain is so severe. It's nerve damage from all the surgeries and trauma i think- there is a name for it.
it's so scary - i was never so afraid and i don't know what will happen. i never had to take medicine for so long before. i hope the gyn dr that i see will help me. Everything depends upon finding a dr that will help me get out of the torture of the pain. There's no way to handle it. It's overwhelming.It's so hard for me now- i don't know if i'll have to quit work and everything if i don't have pain control. It's so unfair that the pain dr stopped helping me.
thanks for being there, Gardenergirl and Everyone. If anyone knows about pain control - please write- thanks,
kerria
Posted by alexandra_k on August 1, 2005, at 3:53:01
In reply to Re: Shortelise, cricket, anybody???, posted by kerria on July 31, 2005, at 22:54:02
I don't really have anything helpful to say...
But I'm still reading.
I'm sorry you are in so much pain.
(((Kerria)))
Posted by kerria on August 1, 2005, at 6:43:05
In reply to Re: Shortelise, cricket, anybody???, posted by alexandra_k on August 1, 2005, at 3:53:01
> I don't really have anything helpful to say...
> But I'm still reading.
> I'm sorry you are in so much pain.
> (((Kerria)))(((((((Alexandra)))))))))
Thanks for being there.This morning the pain is so bad. i can't sit down at all. i'm so afraid to take the morphine again but i don't have a choice. i have to go to work and i can't wear the patch because the temperature there is over 100 degrees on sunny days.
i hope that i don't have the reaction again. The dr at the er was such a jerk- he wrote in my instructions "Do not take Kadian if you are allergic to it." but he wouldn't give me anything else to substitute - so he cleared the hospital (in case i do get a reaction) but i don't have a choice not to take it now because i'm in uncontrolable terrible pain. It's impossible to live in.:( i'm so afraid, please pray. i see the gyn dr later today. i hope that he can help me.
Love,
kerria
Posted by cricket on August 1, 2005, at 11:56:41
In reply to Re: Shortelise, cricket, anybody???, posted by kerria on August 1, 2005, at 6:43:05
Kerria,
I'm here. I had to go away for a few days. Parts were very active and I couldn't really post.
But I'm praying for you. Please take away the pain someone somehow someway. Please, please.
I wish that you had better communication with your parts. I'm sure that there is at least one inside that could comfort you.
(((((Kerria)))))
Please post and let me know how you are.
Cricket
Posted by kerria on August 1, 2005, at 12:06:02
In reply to Re: Shortelise, cricket, anybody???, posted by cricket on August 1, 2005, at 11:56:41
> Kerria,
>
> I'm here. I had to go away for a few days. Parts were very active and I couldn't really post.
>
> But I'm praying for you. Please take away the pain someone somehow someway. Please, please.
>
> I wish that you had better communication with your parts. I'm sure that there is at least one inside that could comfort you.
>
> (((((Kerria)))))
>
> Please post and let me know how you are.
>
> Cricket(((((((Cricket)))))))
Thank you.i have a gyn new dr appt today. If he can't help i can't do anything. The pain is too bad. i can't sit or work or see T or hike or do anything. It hurts too much.
Jesus says 'Do not be afraid.'
tears,
kerria
Posted by Jadah on August 4, 2005, at 20:24:23
In reply to Re: people want to hurt me?, posted by kerria on July 29, 2005, at 7:10:17
I was wondering why you are having pain, Im sorry if I missed that in your earlier posts. I know what it is like to have pain and to not be believed. Before I found out what was wrong with me my mom kept drilling into my head that this wasnt the way to get attention. When I didnt feel up to going out with my friends as planned, they said I was just using my symptoms as an excuse. It was so frustrating and sad to not be believed and supported when I needed it. My philosophy on it... People are afraid of what they dont understand. People get scared so they would rather deny whats going on. People cant fathom something that they cant see..(if I say I have pain in my arm, it is less believable than if I actually had a cast on my arm that they can see. Make any sense? dontr know if that is a good example) My problem was too, that I USED to be a self injurer ( Many Years ago) I was always coming home with stitches or casts... I had to show people how bad I was hurting. Like the little boy who cried wolf, when something was seriously wrong, something I didnt do, no one believed me. I had to be my own advocate. I had to learn to take care of myself regardless of what others thought. It was a big part of my healing process. I was not attention seeking, I was legitimately needing medical help. Yes, doctors find out you have a mentally illness and they want to run you right back to your psychiatrist..."its psychosymaatic". Whatever!! Find a doctor that will listen to you, dont take NO for an answer. Insist that they do tests to rule things out. Remember, they work for YOU. Dont give up. Feel better!
This is the end of the thread.
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