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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by tabitha on April 27, 2004, at 23:40:05
Just as I expected, it was incredibly uncomfortable, and afterward everyone told me how great it was that I shared all that, but it still didn't feel very good. I guess it's a relief not to be having reactions to this guy that I can't share.
I'm terrible at hiding things anyway. I'll end up crying even if I try not to talk about something I don't want to talk about, and then I'm so embarrassed to be crying over something people don't understand that I just end up telling them what's going on. So it felt like I had no choice but to talk about it, not like being brave at all.
Now that I've told them this, I guess I should tell them how I felt about telling, and how I felt about what they said. It's endless. Once you get it all out in the open, then what? Then there's more stuff, then you get that out, etc etc. This is grownup relating? Talk about your feelings, don't act them out. I want to dump on my therapist a little for 'making' me do this. I guess my childish part wanted to hang onto the fantasy, and keep hoping for fulfillment. This grownup stuff.. I don't know yet. I just don't know.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on April 27, 2004, at 23:58:51
In reply to I talked about my crush on the group member, posted by tabitha on April 27, 2004, at 23:40:05
I think youre very brave and that it is normal to feel funny after....I would let the group take the pace and see if how you feel on telling is a nescessary share...it may already be known and you may have bigger things to talk about next group
Posted by fallsfall on April 28, 2004, at 0:42:52
In reply to I talked about my crush on the group member, posted by tabitha on April 27, 2004, at 23:40:05
Tabitha,
You did wonderfully. It is so hard to talk about these kinds of things in group, but that is where the real work is done - where the real learning takes place. Yes, sometimes the results of the results of the results of a disclosure get discussed. And sometimes that is helpful. The group will decide (probably without a discussion) how much more needs to be discussed.
I am so pleased that you are willing to give Babble a real look at group. It's kind of a strange animal, isn't it?
Falls.
Posted by tabitha on April 28, 2004, at 0:46:41
In reply to Re: I talked about my crush on the group member » tabitha, posted by Fallen4MyT on April 27, 2004, at 23:58:51
Thanks. I'm starting to feel better. It's like I've revealed my shameful feelings and it was OK, so I can stop telling myself I'm bad for having these feelings. That's a big relief.. even though I wanted the guy to tell me he liked me, but he didn't. I'm still OK for having these feelings, no matter what he says or feels, right?
Either this is some new healthy thinking, or a protective rationalization. Either way I'll take it :-)
Posted by tabitha on April 28, 2004, at 0:55:34
In reply to Re: I talked about my crush on the group member » tabitha, posted by fallsfall on April 28, 2004, at 0:42:52
> I am so pleased that you are willing to give Babble a real look at group. It's kind of a strange animal, isn't it?
>
> Falls.Yup, and it's very hard to describe to people, unless they've done it or at least had therapy. Sometimes I wonder if it's really preparing me for intimate relationships, or just making me unfit to relate to anyone who hasn't had similar training.
Posted by shadows721 on April 28, 2004, at 1:01:55
In reply to I talked about my crush on the group member, posted by tabitha on April 27, 2004, at 23:40:05
I am so proud of you. You did a wonderful job. You may not realize it now, but you have grown from this experience.
Posted by fallsfall on April 28, 2004, at 9:50:31
In reply to Re: I talked about my crush on the group member » fallsfall, posted by tabitha on April 28, 2004, at 0:55:34
>Sometimes I wonder if it's really preparing me for intimate relationships, or just making me unfit to relate to anyone who hasn't had similar training.
Boy do I understand that! When you figure out which is true, let me know!
Posted by noa on April 29, 2004, at 21:41:33
In reply to I talked about my crush on the group member, posted by tabitha on April 27, 2004, at 23:40:05
WOW. You continue to amaze me. You are so brave and I admire you so much.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on April 30, 2004, at 22:10:36
In reply to Re: I talked about my crush on the group member » Fallen4MyT, posted by tabitha on April 28, 2004, at 0:46:41
Right :-) Feelings are just that feelings not bad or good and its what we do with them that counts. Like right now I wanna slap my husband and have good reason BUT WON'T so you did the right and brave...lol and healthy..way to go :)
> Thanks. I'm starting to feel better. It's like I've revealed my shameful feelings and it was OK, so I can stop telling myself I'm bad for having these feelings. That's a big relief.. even though I wanted the guy to tell me he liked me, but he didn't. I'm still OK for having these feelings, no matter what he says or feels, right?
>
> Either this is some new healthy thinking, or a protective rationalization. Either way I'll take it :-)
This is the end of the thread.
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